ZEDD
I've been trying to get this damn communication thing set up but I keep being sidetracked by Thomas' emotions - and the series of rapid fire twinges of pain that I'm guessing have to do with memories returning. What in all the hells did Jason bring or say that triggered it? And could it be possible for him to perhaps shield me just a bit from those rather biting jolts.
"You're not listening."
"I'm trying, Thomas is being...distracting." Ignoring Ranger's smirk at this, I try to refocus. However I'm once again pulled from the task as my concern rises when I try and feel how he's doing and he blocks me - again. Although this is more like when he tries to shut down his own emotions more than keeping me out.
I barely catch their voices in the hallway downstairs as they pass the staircase. Several minutes later, Andros and I are finally finished. "So now Thomas can talk to the children?"
"As I said it will connect to the system they have in their base now, so if the children are there than yes he can see and talk to them." Not loving that he hooked it up to my normal communication system, as while Thomas might be happy to see the children and his human friends again, I'm less than pleased by them seeing me. Seeming to read my thoughts on the matter Andros is fast to continue. "You don't have to activate the viewing screen if you don't want to Zedd, he can talk to them without seeing them and vice versa, or use it to link to their wrist communicators."
"I suppose, though knowing him as I do, he will very likely wish to see them as well."
"Well whatever you choose to do, it's set up now."
I sigh in relief that the tedious chore is in fact finished, just in time for the knock at the door. "Come in!" Feeling my concern mount once more as Jason walks in alone, I know he isn't surprised by my first question. "Where's Thomas?"
"He needed some time by himself, I think," the former Red answers. "I brought him some of his keepsakes, but I think that might have been a mistake."
"Some what now?" I ask. Andros quickly translates the concept into Eltarian. "Oh. And why might that have been a mistake? I'd think he'd be happy to have those kind of trinkets."
The young man sits down as Andros perches on my desk. "The things that I brought were from his nightstand, so I thought that they were important to him. I didn't really go through them, just kind of tossed them in the box. I didn't realize that Kimberly's letter was in there."
I frown as I think back. If I remember correctly, that would have been right around the time that Mondo and the rest of the Machine Empire sent us all packing. I didn't keep up too well with what the children were doing, but I do recall Katherine taking the girl's place on the team as the smaller girl took off for some reason or other and Thomas being in a rather depressing mood because of it for a time. "Bitch."
Looking surprised by my comment, Jason frowns slightly before shaking his head. "I'll let that go considering how defensive you are of Tommy, however I will thank you not to call one of my best friends since childhood a bitch."
"I wasn't calling her that because of Thomas, I was calling her that because it's all I ever witnessed her doing before she up and abandoned him and the others...She wrote him a letter?"
Reluctantly, Jason nods. "Which she mailed to the juice bar. The way I heard it later, Tommy was working out and asked Adam to read the letter out loud, not knowing what was in it. It was only after Adam started reading it that they realized it was her way of ending their relationship. Tommy didn't take it well at all and while I'm not blaming her for ending things, I wasn't pleased with how she did it, I'll admit, and I told her as much."
"If it hurt him so much why did he keep it?"
"I don't know, I was rather surprised myself when I saw it a bit ago, especially considering it looks like it's been well read and reread many times."
If I ever see that pink menace again, I will destroy her as surely as I breathe. Hundreds of wicked little ideas run through my mind, each one worse than the last. Still, for the moment, I rein myself in. "Where has he gone to now?"
"Not sure. We put the things that we brought into his closet and then he took off. I don't think he left the castle."
I reach out and find that he's back in the turret. "He's up in the turret again. I'll go check on him in a little while. Perhaps, since Dar and Pina are otherwise engaged, would you two be willing to help make lunch?"
Jason looks at me sideways. "I've heard about how you cook, Zedd. I'll go make something. Just make sure that Tommy's okay, would you?"
The pair of them disappear from my office. I wait to make absolutely certain that I have myself under control before I slowly head up to where Thomas is. I enter the turret to find him seated as he was before. I study him for a moment as I had the last time I found him here before I speak. "Be careful, Thomas. It's a long way down."
He sighs, though unless I'm mistaken there is the barest hint of a smirk as well. "I'm not going to jump, Zedd. I promised you, remember?"
"You could still fall. I know you like it up here but I'd be lying if I didn't say it made me nervous."
"If I fell, I have a feeling you'd find some way to catch me." He looks away from the landscape and toward me, a small smile on his face. "Jason sent you up after me?"
"Sort of, he told me what happened and was worried you were upset."
He holds his hand out to me and I cross the room and take it, more pleased than I'm sure I should be by the very simple gesture. "Believe it or not, I'm actually okay."
"Are you sure?" Not really believing it though.
"Yeah, I am. I mean, yeah, it hurt again to see the letter and remember that - and all the other memories that followed. But I remembered what Andros said about not letting my emotions overwhelm me. I've never been able to hold onto a relationship with a female - girl or woman. Things go good for a while, then they're just okay and then - it's over. They leave me. It's kind of depressing, you know?"
"I suppose, to be honest I don't have a lot to base that sort of thing on. The most recent relationship I had before you was with Rita and you are well aware of how that turned out. Before that...well as I said, I've been with males before, and the one before Rita...we just didn't get along well. We still don't I suppose, even if I do find him less insufferable than I used to."
"Well trust me, when you're the one dumped all the time, it gets a bit depressing. However, I got to thinking, what if they never worked out because I'm supposed to be with you? Because I've always been meant to be with you? What if that's why I got hurt? Not some stupid mistake that I made, but because - once again - the powers are directing my life?" Realizing how much his past failed relationships have harmed his self esteem, I shake my head calmly.
"People grow apart Thomas, it's true it could have perhaps been the bond that wasn't allowing you to connect as deeply as you might have with the females you were with, but sometimes people just aren't compatible as mates. It's no ones fault, it just is what it is."
"Well what if it isn't just what it is? I mean, what if there was something about me personally that just didn't meet what they were looking for and they just didn't realize it at first? My break ups have never really been mutual Zedd. I mean it's true I haven't been completely heartbroken when most of them ended, but still I'm never the one that does end it, you know." I know he's not expecting an answer so I wait for him to speak again. He laces his fingers with mine and continues. "On the other hand, maybe I'm just one of those people that's not meant to find someone. Not everyone is."
"Thomas, I-"
"I'm not saying that you're using me or anything like that, Zedd. But you said that sometimes bond mates aren't always mates, sometimes just very good friends." Not liking the direction he's heading at all now, I try to feel him out through the bond to get a better idea of where he's mentally at, only to find him again blocking his emotions to a degree still.
"Well, yes, but-"
He raises our joined hands and presses a kiss lightly to the back of mine. "Relax, Zedd. I'm not backing out of what I said earlier."
"You're not?" Because that's certainly what it was starting to sound like.
"No, I'm not. So whatever notions that were just going through your head of killing Jason, or thinking I've convinced myself to return home for good after all, you can put them away."
"Good, because I think Goldar is truly starting to like Jason to a degree and I'd hate to have you mad at me because I killed your brother of sorts."
"Yeah, that wouldn't be good for anyone" he agrees with a slight smile. "Listen, all I'm saying is…If I remember correctly, you said that you guys were 'suppliers' right?"
"Correct."
"Well I'm guessing that not all of your dealings are - shall we say - above board. One of these days, you could get on the wrong side of someone. Or you could get bored with me or unhappy and maybe meet someone else." I'm about to protest when he shakes his head. "I'm not saying that it will happen, just that it could and I'm…well not okay with it, but I'm not as worried as I think I normally would be. I guess knowing that we're bonded helps some because then even if something does happen and you decide you don't want to keep being more than friends, we would at least still be something and I wouldn't completely lose you from my life. BUT - I'm not going to worry about it now because if I do, I won't be able to enjoy what we have."
"Thomas, if I have anything to say about it, nothing will ever separate us. And yes, if you do decide that you wish to no longer be intimate then I will still be present in your life. I may not be in the best of moods for a while, but I can assure you that I will never leave you."
He lets out a short surprised bark of laughter. "Until death do us part?"
"Something like that," I agree, puzzled. "Why? What's so funny?"
The amusement on his face is all too obvious. "Are you familiar with the human concept of marriage?"
"I was married, you know," I remind him dryly.
"Yes, but are you at all familiar with a human ceremony?"
"No, however I'm doubtful the matter is really much different in the grand scheme of it all." Is there a point to this that I'm not getting?
"It may not be, but it was just funny how you worded it. It reminded me of the marriage ceremony we have on Earth."
"Why?"
"Because 'until death do you part' is part of the vows," he grins.
"Oh. Well, if you want to get married-" And somehow I'm not all that surprised when he shakes his head.
"Zedd, we've been a couple all of two days. Give it a while."
"As you wish, Thomas." And I think I need to do some more research into human customs. "Now, shall we go down and see what Jason and Andros have made for lunch?"
"Why not?" Suddenly looking a bit concerned, he hesitates for a just a moment. "I really didn't mean to make Jason worry. I just, I needed a minute to clear my head."
"I'm sure he understands that, but if not you can tell him so when we get to the kitchen. Come on, let's go get a bite to eat." I tug gently at his hand and he rises to his feet. "But first-" I pull him into my arms and kiss him gently. His arms wrap around my neck as he takes the initiative and deepens it. We kiss for several minutes before we both ease back. "I don't suppose I could talk you into taking a detour by the bedroom, could I?"
"Why?" He thrusts gently against me.
"Tease" I growl.
He removes his hands from around my neck and slides them slowly down to my waist. "All I meant is why go out of our way when we can do this here?"
He strokes me firmly over the suddenly too restricting material of my pants and I can't help the small thrust back. "Thomas-"
In a moment, he's unfastened my clothes and reached inside. I barely have time to mentally note how quick he is at that when the thought leaves and he kisses me again. When he finally releases me for air, he growls back at me. "I'm going to make you feel very good, Zedd."
"Thomas-" Before I can say any more, he's moved my clothes, dropped to his knees and taken me in. "Oh hells, Thomas."
He chuckles against me and the vibrations are - to use his word - awesome. I moan in pleasure as he begins to move - slowly at first and then faster. Gently, I caress his head as I watch him. He looks up at me and his heated gaze meets mine, pushing me even closer. His hands caress me even as he takes me in further. It's not long before I'm teetering on the brink. "Thomas, yes love, please. So close."
I keep my eyes on him as I tip over the edge, watching him swallow rapidly. Slowly, he releases me as I pant for air. As I recover, he gently tucks me back in and fixes my clothing in far too calm of a manner. "You are very, very good at that, given your lack of experience."
Looking at me with a slight smirk, he wraps his arms around me and lightly rubs my back. "I'm a fast learner." Apparently so. Giving me a moment more to recover, it's only when I stop panting that he again speaks softly. "Feel better?"
"Almost." I touch him, reminding him of his own need. I take a breath. "Would you mind if I-"
He interrupts me. "Please do."
In a moment, I have him in hand and begin to stroke him lightly. His eyes fall closed and he moans softly leaning back against the wall. Again reminding myself to take it easy, banishing the sudden thought to actually take him as I know that even trying would probably end badly right now for both of us, I kneel before him and lightly run my tongue over him smiling at the gasp this earns me. "Zedd, more please."
I ignore the softly voiced plea in favor of a few more licks before sliding my mouth onto him, earning me a louder moan. I move faster as he threads his fingers into my hair knowing he won't last too long, as I'll make sure of that. I don't generally mind taking my time, typically a good, long, lengthy bit of play before getting off is very appealing to me, but given we do have company waiting on us... His grip tightens as he gets closer to his release thanks to my now very purpose driven work. Suddenly, he thrusts in hard and deep, his hoarse cry of pleasure is music to my ears even if I'm fairly certain he might have suffocated me with his lack of control in the end had I been human. "Zedd!" Yes, I'm wonderful, I know.
Smirking as I wait him out now, it's not long before his fingers relax as he comes down and releases me, my hair now a mess I'm sure, but a small price to pay. "Oh god, Zedd, I'm sorry. It just felt so good I couldn't help it. Are you okay?"
Tenderly, I return him and his clothes to their prior state as I answer him. "Thomas, I don't break that easily. I'm fine and I'm very glad that you enjoyed it that much. Once you catch your breath, we'll head downstairs."
As I rise, he catches me and kisses me. "Thank you, Zedd. It was - unbelievable."
"And only one pleasurable thing among many that we'll explore together," I assure him.
"Maybe…in time." About to assure him again I can outwait him on anything he's still hesitant about, I in the end decide for now to let it be not wanting to make him nervous or distracted before being around his friend again.
"Maybe." I take his hand and turn for the stairs. "Come on. We'll talk about that later."
