In the left half of the univers!
"Ugh, wow" Skip flickered his eyes until they were open and sat up and looked around to see the castle that had smashed on the ground. He went to look inside for supplies until he saw that Sonia was still sleeping next to him.
So he looked around at the land left behind. All was desolate and dead and the tumbleweeds were starting to take over and claim the untied states. Sonia was still not awake so he got concerned and he went over and helped her wake by holding her neck and doing CPR on it. And just then, she also woke up, holding his leg!
"Hey, Skip-senpai…! Good...to see you." she mumbled.
"My chummy wife!" Skip grated. "Good to see you also"
They then got on each other and sexxed cause of nothing to do, while admiring all the good scenery and they hung out at this spot for two weeks. Over the time, his stone arm aged and hardened to steel and looked like a robot now cause it felt sooooooo long to him cause calendars went extinct after Galar was died. Also since that arm no longer had a ghost, it became a zombie arm but it dint want brains cause arms don't need brains and it couldnt stink like one as it was of metal and not fleshy so it was fine.
One day, he stopped to think and looked into the sky as he was thinking like a thinking dude thinking about things.
"You know," Skip talked to himself "Despite all this bad stuff...this journey has been awesome!"
"Wait what lol!" Sonia snarked. "But we just lost Galar and also your arm, you silly!"
"I know I know!" Skip replied. "But this was my first time enjoying myself and my lif since 17 years ago!"
"Huh?" Sonia huhed. "But you where also a smilly dude who smiles all the tim and likes life!"
Skip sighed all grinny "Yeah but I do have to keep smillng through all these busy times right? Being hored by some weird chum to train for 12 years then to work two jobs a day is hard sometimes (See the side story about hsi chilhood in the side story doc for more infos!)! And then becoming Vice President on top of that other stuff? That made me WTF! But being on this journiy with you and the chums...I finally feel free and now I know how great and chummerful life can be!"
Sonia lolled "Ah your funky blood's making you speak all woozy! Just rest for a but alright?" So he did.
But suddenly! Two faces came at them but they weren't the evil faces in the wind like last tim. They were Hop and Bede but they looked...YOUNGER??!
"Hey guys it's Skip your bro!" Skip yelled at Hop.
"My bro? I only have the second half my memory, I only remember us doing really awesome stuff lol." Hop lolled. He was no longer a car or a ghost and is just a normal boy dude now.
"Yeah you are my bro and I can prove!" Skip replied and showed off his passport next to his and Hop saw it now.
"Oh I see lol sorry for the confuse. Anyway lol we survived this crack thing but our ages and memories got split in half!" Hop said. Bede was annoyed at his age now cause now they couldn't make out until 10 years later so I can keep the T rating in this fic lol!
"Hahahaha!" Skip lolled. "No problem my chums we can fix!"
"How lol" the two both said.
"You know how we say Happy Birthday to those who have gotten a birthday?" Skip asked. "What if we do that ten times so you can get a birthday ten tims?"
"Worth a try!" The two boys said and he and Sonia got together and repeated Happy Birthday ten times until the two grew and got older to their previous age.
"Awesome!" Bede yelped. "Now, where were we?" he turned to Hop who turned back into him and made out and Skip put some censors over them lik in TV.
"Arr, you youngins really lik to scurvy around and love like some bloody washed up fools ay?" Raihan went from a distance except he came closer as he said that. He also went into the crack but he was still all grown up cause he was half dragon wich was why he trains dragons and they can be like 100 years old!
"Ah, young chummy love!" Skip sighed, putting his normal hand and his zombie robot hand on his back like a cool guy. "Reminds me of my wife lolol!"
"Aww please, Skip-senpai!" Sonia blushed.
"Now, come on!" Slip hyped. "Why be a glum chum in this glum time when we can PARTY!"
"Arrr!" Raihan chorkled as he took out many beers from his pants and flung them at everyone. "This is why were such blasting good cabin mates ye scurvy sea lad!"
So everyone drank and got drunk together at the fireplace and a good time was about to be had! However...notice that a few dudes aren't here yet? That's cause THEIR NOT! WTF?!
Meanwhile A FEW THOUSIND MILLES away…
Daemon was shocked awake from his sleep from all the cold in the wasteland and found himself on top of Tom. He backed away quick as he's not that kind of creepy dude and was blushing all awkward when Tom got up also.
"Wow we really havent talked to each other for this whole story did we" Tom lolled as he saw it was him.
"Yeah, guess so." Daemon smirked. "Oh well I guess we can do that now I suppose"
So Tom got a light and threw it ata nearby building to set on fire to warm up and sat near it together. The flaming architecture looked nice but the two got bored starting at it so they decided to talk after a bit.
"So, Mr. Napoleon, what the f*ck?" Daemon asked, trying to hold his weed near the fire to light it up.
"Since they won't find us for a bit, I shall tell you." Tom scoffed. "After my incident with the darned fountain, I was more worried than anything. I couldn't go home, or back to my wife or my army, because how the hell can I explain why I suddenly look over 40 years younger? Screw that!" Tom explained as he started giggling.
"So you had to start a new life…" Daemon mumbled.
"Course I had to!" Tom snarked. "But then obviously there was this whole issue of not having a home which wasn't so great. I was looking for one when I came across this land, Postwick. Cue the flashbacks, please."
Back in the past in Postwick!
Tom was there in Postwick watching from the trees. It wasn't that intereting back then so he was about to leave but then...he heard something! From one of the houses! He jumped back to not be seen and peered at one of the windows with a woman inside!
"Gosh, it's been quite a bit since that young lad left on his own!" she wondered to herself as her kid was playing CoD next to her cause she was a cool mom so she dint mind. "If only I could go meet my young Skip one day. I'm sure hes out doing some great stuff!"
"Skip?!" Tom yelled out loud then realised his mistake and hid in a bush before anyone heard him. He didn't believe it at first! This was the house of his son!
Hearing this, he knew he had to find a place to live next to him! So he looked around and saw this house next to him, with another woman with a Scottish girl inside. He looked around some more and saw a cardboard box next to the trash outside. There, he had...A PLAN!
Later, something was dingdonged at the door!
"What's it!" The woman went when she saw a box on the ground! She picked it up and cut it open and suddenly Tom burst out!
"WTFFF" she went out loud.
"Calm down maam I'm just an orphan left here ok!" Tom went. "Anyway you wanna adopt me or"
"Yeah why not" the woman went and so he became who he was today! "But then what's your name?"
Tom has a big think about it since he can't go around as Napoleon anymore cause that's a weird kid's name. Luckily an idea came to mind!
"Tommy- no wait it needs to be fancier…" he thought. "Ah!" he then said. "I'm TOMATHY Christopher! But just call me Tom." he winked. And since its the Easton household it's now Tomathy Christopher Easton. And so it began!
Back in the present!
"You genius!" Daemon chuckled as he enjoyed his smoking weed.
"The things I would do to see my long lost son lol" Tom lolled. "Anyway, what I was gonna say just now, was that, well, you know Oleana?"
"Turkey lady?" Daemon shot back.
Tom lolled a bit and went "Yes, her. Now that she nor my son can hear us, I'll just say it: shes a nut! She only used my son so she could get rid of her runaway hubby! Even after finding her out, I suspect Skip still has some sort of respect for the lady, that man's head is far into the clouds..."
"Hah, glad to know it's not just me and that burly pirate bum who thinks that" Daemon scoffed.
"Ah anyway, thanks for hearing me out my man." Tom sighed, smiling again.
"No prob." Daemon replied. His smirk slightly faded as he finished his weed. "Feels like I've been having more green stuff than ever since I met that Brit…"
"You mean my son?" Tom asked. "Well you did meet him by pretending to be a woman then tasing him while he had his pole out."
"You have a point." Daemon sighed. He chuckled and looked up at the starless skies which were starless cause they got blown up before.
He took out another weed to smoke it but suddenly some big green hair stuck out of some rubbles and Leap climbed out under all that! He also didn't look different cause he's a clon and he's supposed to look like Skip.
"Ahhh I can finally breathe! Though the air's still dusty ahhck" Leap ahhcked and also pulled out Tam and Diane from under him.
"F*cking hell lad your f*cking skinny bum's been bloody f*cking squashing my f*cking Bonnie lassy face!" Tam Scotted drunken mad, with a sleeping Diane under her. "Oh hell all the f*cking bards and the f*cking clubs have closed, bastradly bugging f*ckers!"
"Oh, hi guys lol" Tom said with anime sweat. "We where in the middle of something but it's fine"
"Actually I herd what you guys said lol" Leap lolled.
"F*ck!" Daemon swore.
Leap went up to Tom all smiley. His sparkling green eyes were all glossy and shiny and went all winky.
"Tom? Am I your son too since I am a clone of that son and we have the same DNAs and everything?" Leap smiled with curious.
Tom had a thought for a while then smiled in return. "Sure, my son." he beamed.
"Woo!" Leap bounced with happy and hummed under his breath. "Anyway, I'll be on the lookout for the others since its boring without everyone". Tam laid Diane to rest on the ground as he and Tom went away.
Leap was walking off and looking at the scenery though there isn't much to look at so he stopped looking. Suddenly a mutant came cause all the nuclears blew up in the fight and now everything was mutated! He was about to give him a good golden shower until he trip over a rock behind and a sword zipped out and killed it in the head!
"Omg what?!" he yelled. Tom looked at the mutent dude bleeding out on the floor and noticed a thing.
"Is that the-" Tom wondered.
"The Freedon Fighter 8999!" Leap said, picking up the broken sword. "Can't wait to skewer some kebabs!"
As he walked along, he heard something vibrating in his pants! He took it out and it was one of his machines that was acting real funny and it was a machine that could fuse stuff that he got from Sonia.
"Hmm, thing's broken again!" Leap sighed as he turned it off and on again and shoved it back. He returned after a bit to the burning building with Tam and Diane and Daemon and then it went all BEEEEEEEP in his pants!
"Ah! It IS broken" Leap yelled and sweated like anime. He took it out again and it was beeping towards Daemon! Then Leap was thinking a bit and then he had a thought!
Leap set up his stuff an then he plugged it in and put the Freedom Fighter 8999 into the machine and a whole bunch of lasers scanned it very sci-fiish inside as he turned it on. It was all nuclear inside so he put on gloves and wiped his glasses.
"Can you come a bit over here?" he asked him and he came.
"What now? Are the others here?" Daemon growled as he finished another smoke, peering into the machine.
"This bit of junk started beeping like mad and I cant get it to stop! Can you help?" Leap wondered.
"Not that I have much else to do lmao" Daemon mumbled.
"Now that's the spirit! Lol it's a joke!" Leap lolled back with lmao. "Come and see what's wrong inside!"
So Daemon ghost floated into the machine with the sword and nuclear to check and then Leap had another taught and slammed the door shut!
"HEY!" Daemon yelped.
"Wait, I think I finally know how to fix this thing" Leap mumbled. He taped some buttons with numbers like a microwave and the thing went all brrrrwoooohshshsmmmmmmm until sh*t went explode and on fire!
"Whew, finally made that annoying beeping go away! " Leap sighed.
"Wait...Oh no their gone!" Diane woke as she noticed that Daemon and the sword where in the explosion!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how did this happen!" Leap yelled, punching the exploded machine out of frustrated and it hurt too.
Things were quite for a bit as he and the others were about to freak until a bunch of dust in the way cleared and they could see it now. The pile of exploded stuff moved and bust open as Daemon came out.
Leap was relived until he realised something was odd: Daemon was not a ghost and was in colour again but now hes all metally and shiny! He taught it was weird so he stared.
"Ahhhhhhh!" Leap gasped.
"Dammit, I should've known this was one of your pranks!" Daemon grumbled and suddenly a bust of light happened and he became a gold and red sword! He fused with the Freedom Fighter 8999 and now was like in Xenoblade Chronicels and he could turn into weapons whenever he wanted. I didn't see the games so idk but that's very cool!
"I- umm- sorry dude it was a mistake!" Leap stunbled.
"Yeah you'll be sorry! Come here you!" Daemon as a seord spat with silly as he floated up and chased after Leap all funny threating to stab his butt if he got close.
"Damn, you've got some CUTTING edge style!" Tom belted and Tam slapped him for the real bad pun.
Some times went by and they where some long times cause there was still not much left to do. Besides battling the mutants that is!
"This is fun!" Skip yelled as mutants circled him but he kicked them all out with his castle arm and they all burned from his hotness and fell like a bunch of fallen angles from heven to Bede and Raihan who punched them all into the sky and back at Skip's side where Sonia thrusted her chest at them and shot them outside the white box and her and Skip scored a point. They were playin a gam of mutant vollyball and Hop was the cheerleader for both sides.
"Golly blunderin' dinglenuts!" Raihan swore. "I swear on the drunken lockers of Matey Jones I will get you!"
"Haha! Try to plunder this bum, my chum!" Skip raspberried as he punted another at him and made out with Sonia after to show he's still straight.
Meanwhile Tom, Leap, Tam, and Daemon were also fighting mutants. Leap was doing his thing and showering them with his gold and Tam was swearing and punching them out with her swears and Daemon floated around in sword form spinning mutants to shreds and Tom used his French swordsman skills which he can do but I forget to write him doing that before and his blade slided a mutant's head so far it felw into Skip's court!
"Oh!" Skip ohed when he saw it. "Hold on, I should return this to the owner cause that's the polite thing to do!"
"Alright!" Sonia yipped as she continued playing for him.
He picked up the sliced head and walked to return it, and that's when he came across them!
"What's up, my chums!" Skip said and they went all up and hugged. "Dad, I see you've been taking care of them well!"
"Yeah, I sure am my, son" Tom lolled with an anime sweat. Then Skip saw the wired floating sword with him and was shocked by it!
"F*CK A GOST" he sharked cause he had damn enough of them now but Daemon saw and flashed back into his human self.
"Daemon! Wow, you look, uhh, wow" Skip said as he looked up and saw what he looked like now.
"What?! Did he scribble d*cks on my face again?" Daemon yelled and punched Leap in the face.
"Oww!" he yelped rubbing his gut all sadly.
"Huh, no my chum I don't see no scribbles!" Skip grinned. "You look…dazzling!"
"Wait what!" Daemon said as Skip got out a mirror that he normally used to take selfies of his pole thing for his Kik laddies and he saw! His skin was gleaming in the sun with metals (Not like the Twilight vamps lol!) and he could hardly see but knew he did look awesome.
"Sorry Leap I take that punch back from earlier" Daemon said and Leap get better from the punch now.
"Lol!" Skip lolled with his hand to shake. Daemon shook hand with him back but his fingers were swords too and they cut Skip's hand all open and his venom blood fizzled and splurged out like the water works but with venom which made dudes near it scream and cry for their mommies. Which made everyone look at him wired and he dint know why.
"Hah no worries!" Skip lmaoed as he bandaged and used his other hand to shake and looked at the other mutants staring them down. "So doyou want too show me your new skills?"
"Sure yes!" Daemon chuffed turning into a sword in Skip's hands! It felt light in his hands but strong as he slashed through a hoard of them so fast they got set on fire and died! The flames blew all over the world in the winds and it became very hot after apl the slashing and fires that the last few of Dynamon's zombies that survived on the planet melted into rotten flesh and stinkiness that was all gnarly and the like. Daemon could also split into fours words to be cooler so he did and Skip laid on top reading sex books as the raging wheels of steel and flames below dozed over more monsters! Soon all billions of the mutants were no longer mutants but DEAD mutants!
"Wheee! Okay now that we have every chum here, I think its time for STUFF to change around here!" Skip cackled in victory and feelings of a new beginning!!
So Skip went off and fetched the Spacetimemax band from the ruckage and SLAMMED down a meteor with it to make the dinosaurs came back and then he got everyone with him as he slapped a hole in time to travel like a billion years until they reached the future and Galar was back to normal as new! Except now in this universe it had a new name...THE UK!
"Welcome home my chums!" Skip yelped as he fell down to touch the sweet grass and everyone did too and it was a grass touching party up in here. Skip turned as the dimension rips sealed up and he similed once and for all. Everyone went back home after such a day.
"Wait guys!" Sonia bounced and her chest bounced too. "Before we go we should have a PARTY for Skip saving the world!" and everyone licked her idea so they went!
So a few mins later everyone was at Skip's house where Daemon had also moved in to Hop's room. They were all playing their Switches and playing Monster Hunter. Skip lolled as he swinged his great sword which he used cause he was great at the game and Leap used the insect glave to leap all over and Daemon used the duel blades and Hop was horning in the corner cause he was real scaredy and not good. Tom was the DJ and made the funky lights go everywhere and flashed all the birds outside.
"So, now that we have this new life and whatnot, what do you people plan to do next!" Sonia asked with wise and ordered a pizza to share.
"I shell continue my race career and enjoy my freedoms!" Skip lmaoed as he captured the Fatalis for more goods and got the best time out of everyone.
"Arrr" Raihan thought while sexy texting Hop's Mom. "I will continue being the blooderin' bangin' awesome pirate lad that plunders the gym skivvies now that Oleana's outta my fishin' face"
"I will take back my place as President and hope that I'll be better this tim! though I'm still old so I need to fix!" Rose Sr. olded until he was handed anti-aging creams to solve the prob and he was old no more.
"I'll have more times with my sons than ever!" Tom lolled and gave Skip and Leap fatherly pats on theback.
"Pah, I'll have a f*cking go at the good ol' bar after this for some f*cking vodka, with my dearest comrade." Tam snuggled with Diane.
"I'll work in the lab full-time and do awesome things like changing jeans or blowing up tomatoes!" Leap declared.
"I will take this chance to start life again and maybe do things with it" Daemon chucked. "Under the name of Daemon Von FREEDOM!" and did a high five with Skip.
"And I have a special thing for my special boy!" Bede said and everyone was confused. He wistled to Hop and propped down on his knee as he gave him a ring!
"OMGGGGGGG THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF EVER" Hop screamed as he slid the ring on and they both hughed with everyone clapping and they made all over until they fell into the closet and shut and it was gonna get real hot inside! ;)
Tam and Diane looked at each other too and Tam went "Ah, screw it babe!" and then they got down to sex too and Skip also with Sonia and it was a much better time now!
The celebrations went wilder as wines and pizza spilled everywhere and the whole place was a mess covered in more mess! A marrage was held there after for Bede and Hop. Skip was there as the sexy preist.
"And now, you chum can kiss the chum!" Skip chummed with his sexy prest voice which made the laddies in the wedding go to sex him and he got his sex on as the couple kisses and everyone threw fireworks all over!
While the wedding party was on, Bede threw the boauet and it zoomed across the skies and everyone started running for it! Rose Sr. used laser visiton to locate it but he picked up a beehive isntead and he ran around screaming funny and Tom and Leap tried to find the bouqeut too along with Skip after sexxing. Raihan and Tam were in the back getting their drunks and in an arm wrestle while Daemon had a smoke in the bathroom and got his high all over the floor so it had to be closed off and dudes had to go piss in the woods.
But then, before we leave to check on the rest, there is one more thing to see! And that is coming now!
Skip was still going after the boquent cause Bede threw it a long way so he looked into the sky to see if it's still there. Suddenly, he heard a strange lady voice saying "Agent Skip! It's not over!" and he heard it come from one last rip in the sky that he peeked into. He noticed something there that made him super shocked and knew he must-
"Hey Skip!" Hop suddenly called snapping him out of it. "Where is my bro!"
"Oh coming!" Skip sputted. He found the boquet and he quickly got on his way to continue the craaaazy celebrations! And that is all to his story…FORNOW
Alright into the last chap now but later! Prep your butts even harder than ever to STAY TUNNED!
