THE NEXT MORNING - ZEDD
I wake up, unhappy to find that the other side of the bed is undisturbed. I had hoped that our talk yesterday would have helped, but apparently not. Feeling more than a little depressed, I get ready for the day and head downstairs. Pina and Dar are talking quietly in the dining room. Breakfast is on the table and, once more, Thomas is nowhere to be seen, however, due to their lowered voices, I'm guessing he's in the kitchen.
"Zedd only talked to him last night, Dar. In his exhausted state, he probably hasn't been able to think things all the way out yet. Once he's rested, then we'll worry about it."
Dar shakes his head. "He's being damn stubborn is what he's doing." He sees me and greets me with, "You need to deal with your boy." And a good morning to you as well.
Taking my seat and picking up the cup of coffee resting by my plate I give him a weary look. "What now?"
"When I saw him this morning, I told him to go to bed but he said that he still had things to take care of first. He needs sleep Zedd, he's going to collapse if he keeps going like this."
I sigh. "Did he say exactly what he had to take care of?"
Thomas' voice comes from the kitchen doorway. "No, I didn't. However if you're all so nosy I need my treatment and a shower, never mind cleaning up from breakfast before I can even consider going to sleep. I've lost enough time and I don't need to lose any more."
I can't help but stare at him, my concern for his well-being reaching an all new height. Compared to last night, he looks - awful. The circles under his eyes have deepened, he's pale and - if I'm not mistaken - his face is drawn in pain. My heart aches at the sight as Dar replies, "I'll take care of the kitchen. You've been trying to do everything around here that we've always divided between the three of us and we've divided it because it's too much for one person - never mind you caring for us and not sleeping to do it."
"I've been sleeping - kind of," Thomas snaps back. "And I've only been doing what's absolutely necessary - like the bed sheets and meals. Oh and the garden."
Pina cuts in. "And you did far more in the garden than we asked you to do, Tommy. We do appreciate it, but not at the expense of your health. Running yourself down like this can make it easier for you to get sick, too."
He closes his eyes briefly in irritation. "I know that, Pina. As I said, kitchen, treatment, shower, bed."
Dar sighs. "You can't possibly have messed up the kitchen that badly, and even if you did, you have my word I won't get mad. I'll take care of it so that you can get to sleep that much sooner."
"Also, Thomas, if your back is still bothering you, perhaps you should soak in the tub rather than a simple shower."
He frowns at me. "Zedd, if I do that, there is every chance that I'll fall asleep in there and I don't want to take a chance of drowning. And, yes, I know that you'd keep an eye on me but it's not necessary. You need to get your work done and I'll sleep. It'll be fine." But suddenly I feel like it really won't. True he may fall asleep in a bath, but with how he looks right now, he's liable to collapse and crack his head open trying to take a shower.
"What about a compromise?" I suggest, feeling again like I'm fighting a losing battle, but knowing after our talk yesterday that ordering him to do anything is truly going to get me all of nowhere.
"What kind of compromise?" Looking suspicious, he at least is giving me a shot.
"Take a bath with me. I'm still a bit sore myself from being laid up in bed for so long, we haven't spent any time together lately, you caring for me aside, and as for work I have a slight headache and until that eases the last thing I want to do is stare at contracts or argue with informants. So if I'm not doing anything and could use a good soak, and you're not doing anything and could use one as well, why don't we save some time and water and have one together?"
"Zedd I really don't think-"
"I think that sounds like a good idea" Pina says, thankfully throwing me a bit of help, despite the glare Thomas is now fixing her with. "It would benefit both of you, you know, and Zedd's right. If he has a headache the last thing he needs to do is work on contracts as he'll get testy and make mistakes as well as make some of our more sensitive informants cry again when he loses his temper."
"I'll think about it." Fairly certain he's only saying that to end the conversation he shakes his head focusing on the next issue at hand. "For now though, whenever you're finished, Pina, we can get my treatment done."
Pina rapidly finishes her breakfast. "All right, Tommy, let's go."
Goldar and I watch the pair leave. I can't help but hope that Thomas agrees to the bath idea, although I'm fairly certain that he won't. Dar draws my attention when he says, "I suggest that we plan to begin lessons once he's recovered from our illness. Also, when you do finally get back to work, see about getting him the staff he wanted. If you can't get one, I'm fairly certain I have a contact or two that might be able to get one."
"It depends on if we're going to get him one capable of holding power or not. He seemed very interested in the idea that he might be able to harness the power in mine."
"You're thinking of getting him a power staff?" Dar asked, brow raised and tone one that says he's not very taken by the idea. "I assumed you were just looking for a normal combat one."
"I was, originally, but…I don't know, he seemed so taken by the notion of being able to use mine. You don't think it's a good idea?" I mean true, I have my own reservations about the idea, but that's really all it is for now, just an idea.
"I think maybe, with training, lots and lots of training, he could maybe learn to use a power staff, not one of your caliber, but maybe one that could draw from his still present power from the great temple. However I think you need to think this over carefully. Right now he's still a bit unstable-" Holding up a hand when I go to protest, he continues calmly and quickly. "He's still unstable Zedd. I'm not saying anything bad about him - I'm just telling you what I've observed and what you already know."
"I wouldn't let him hold a large amount of power, and not dark power, that's for certain. But as you said if he could pull his own into the staff once he unlocks it again, it might do him well in battles and aid in keeping him safe if I'm not around."
Seeming to think this over, he looks as if he wants to say more, however decides against it. "All right, for the purpose of keeping him and in turn you safe, should we not be around and something happen, I will do a little research into finding a very basic power staff. If you're certain it's what you think is best."
"I'll think on it a little more," I agree. "However if we do go that route, I want to make certain it is a basic one, and not one that is even capable of holding dark power. I don't want him…" Trailing off and shaking my head, I know I don't have to finish my statement for him to know where I was going with it.
"What happened with you Zedd, what you became wasn't because of your staff, you have the ability to hold a very large amount of dark power yourself. He won't go the way you did Zedd."
"Maybe. Still though I don't even want it to be a possibility." Shaking that worry away I refocus on other matters. "We also need to figure out what's going on with the current contract" I answer. "I'm going to have to try my contact again and you'll have to get in touch with some of yours. Something's off with what's going on and we need to get it straightened out."
"Definitely. You take care of your mate and I'll see what I can dig up in the meantime. Well, after I take care of the kitchen." He gathers his and Pina's dishes and heads into the kitchen while I rapidly finish my own breakfast.
Before I head upstairs, I hurry to the infirmary to get some of the salve that Pina makes. Perhaps if the bath doesn't help, that will. As I enter, Pina informs me, "You've just missed him."
Somehow I'm not surprised. "Just came for some of your salve."
She hands me a small jar. "We're going to have to make some more very soon."
"I keep telling you that you should sell this stuff. A hundred years of selling it and none of us would ever have to work again."
Smiling, she shakes her head. "And you'd be bored out of your mind and picking random fights with random planets again to try and relieve said boredom. No thank you. Go on, Zedd."
"Fine, but just so you know, I do have other ways to alleviate my boredom than picking fights."
"Yes and he's waiting for you upstairs." Good point.
I head upstairs quickly. Just before I open the bedroom door, I can hear the water running in the bathroom. Unsure if he's filling the tub or getting ready to get in the shower, I open the bedroom door, intent on finding out. Therefore, I'm surprised to find Thomas curled up in a ball in the chair in the corner, shaking so hard that he's actually shaking the chair. I rush across the room and kneel by the chair. "Thomas, what is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt? What happened?"
He jumps violently, flinching badly before he realizes it's me. His voice shakes as well. "Zedd, please, I don't want to take a bath, please."
I blink in surprise. What the- Hells, he's having a flashback. Carefully but quickly, I rise and go into the bathroom and turn off the water. The tub is only half full, but on impulse I dip my fingers in the water. It's certainly not as cold as he implied it was there, but far colder than it should be for the purpose. I pull the plug, letting the water out and turning the shower on, making sure that it's warm enough to be comfortable.
I return to the bedroom and speak softly. "Easy Thomas. It's all right."
"It's not that I don't want to take a bath - I can't."
"You don't have to." Gently, I touch his hand, once more kneeling before him. "Come on, Thomas. You aren't there, you're here with me. Come back to me, love."
I switch to Eltarian. I'm beginning to think that it helps because my native language isn't connected to his trauma in any way. Sure enough, a minute later, his shaking tapers off and then stops entirely.
Finally, he takes a breath. "Sorry, Zedd. I didn't mean to lose it. It just…I don't know. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to be sorry, love. I know you can't help it, Thomas. I just didn't think you'd have a panic attack over something we've done here before. You took a bath your first night here so I just thought…"
"I was going to, I really was, but I started the water and I started feeling really nervous and I told myself that it was no big deal that I've taken a bath here before like you said and then I decided that I was going to do it and then I felt the water and it was so cold and I turned the hot water on higher and the water wasn't getting any warmer and I had to get out of there."
"Breathe, Thomas. It's all right. Breathe."
"I'm okay. I am."
"You're certain?" Getting a nod, I give one in return. "I took care of the water for you. Go get your shower while your adrenaline is still high so that you stay awake for it. I've adjusted the temperature so you should be okay." Slowly, he unfolds himself from the chair and heads for the bathroom, casting me a doubtful look. Quickly, I assure him, "I'm not angry or disappointed in you. I promise."
I barely catch the relief in his eyes as he closes the door. Once I'm sure he's in the shower, I quietly but at length, curse myself. As far as he's come this last week or so, I'd completely forgotten the hell he'd gone through on Earth. Well, not completely forgotten, just pushed it to the back of my mind. However with his recent recollection of our own past troubles and what that disgusting human did to him, this little episode really shouldn't surprise me. I wait patiently for Thomas to come out of the bathroom hoping that he's feeling somewhat better once clean and warmed up.
Once he does, I immediately address the issue at hand. "I'm sorry, Thomas. I didn't think that it would be an issue."
He sets his fingers over my mouth, stopping me. "Zedd, it's not your fault or mine. Well, I suppose I should have calmed myself down before it got too bad. The fault lies light years away and I really don't have the energy to discuss this right now. All I really want to do is sleep." He gives me a quick peck on the cheek and moves over to the bed.
I see him wince as he climbs in. "Thomas, I have the salve from Pina. Would you-?"
Before I can go any further, he rolls onto his stomach. "If you wouldn't mind. I think I'll sleep better if I'm a little more relaxed, and while the shower helped I know it didn't do what a hot bath could have done. Maybe when I'm more rested we can try one together, okay."
"That would be nice, but only if you're feeling up to it." I kneel next to him and scoop some of the ointment from the container. In another moment, I'm rubbing it on his back and I can tell the moment I touch the sorest areas. Years upon years of dealing with this sort of thing, I ply my skills and in short order, he's relaxed and pliable under my hands.
"That feels really nice Zedd."
"I'm glad." Noting how he's struggling to keep his eyes open, I can't help but smile. "Go to sleep, Thomas. I know you want to. Sleep and I'll make sure you're settled in before I go tend to my work."
"K, will you get my neck?"
"Of course." Moving one hand to his neck, as the other continues to work a knot from his lower back, I can't help but smile as he all but purrs. Hmm. Must remember this for next time. However, for now, he seems to have fallen into a comfortable sleep. "Thomas?"
Only getting his even breathing as a response, I know he's out and I couldn't be more relieved. Finally he's getting some rest.
I finish for now, tucking the covers around him. "Pleasant dreams, Thomas." I slip off the bed and head for my own bath. I'm sure he'll wake when his need for food supersedes his need for sleep. At least, I hope it will, almost as much as I hope he's out of his current moody behavior.
