Needs and Wants

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI, or any of its characters, blah, blah, blah... Oh, and I don't own Dairy Queen. If I did, I wouldn't fit through my door.

WARNING: This fiction contains violence and coarse language, along with femmeslash sex.

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Sara walked out of 'her' lab after a long four hours, hoping that Greg was still around to satisfy her coffee needs. As she rounded the corner, however, a bundle of blonde fury smacked right into her thighs, almost sending her to the ground. The brunette's arms shot out to catch the falling child, steadying the little blonde. Sara recognized the child to actually be a pre-teen, which evidently happened to be Lindsey Willows.

"Woah, Lindsey, careful there. Wouldn't want you falling and getting hurt...Hey, are you alright?" Sara knelt down to Lindsey's height, noticing that the girl's face was tear-streaked. Lindsey rubbed her eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. Before she could answer, Catherine came blasting around the corner, looking very miffed.

"Lindsey, what have I told you about running in the labs? You could get hurt!" Catherine bellowed, standing with her hands on her hips in front of Lindsey. The younger blonde glared up at her mother, stomping her foot.

"I don't care! You said we were gonna go for ice cream! I don't want to stay in this stupid lab, it's boring! You care more about those dead people than me!" Lindsey's retort seemed to flare Catherine's temper. But before she could make her reply, Sara stood up, standing between the two Willows women.

"You know what? How 'bout we make a deal? Catherine, you go to your crime scene, and I'll deal with Lindsey, okay? There's no use screaming in the hallway." Sara tried, standing to her full height in order to counter the older woman's unavoidable evil streak. Catherine grumbled and stomped away. Sara turned back to Lindsey after letting out a breath that she didn't know she had been holding.

"Come on, let's watch for when your mom leaves so we can go get ice cream." Sara motioned. Lindsey followed Sara into Catherine's office, which had a clear view of the parking lot. After they witnessed Catherine peeling out of the parking lot, Sara lead Lindsey to her Corvette.

"Here, buckle up." Sara said as they got into the vehicle. They both remained quiet as they headed down the road through heavy traffic. Sara sighed.

"So...You want to talk about it?" She asked slowly. Lindsey shook her head.

"Maybe later." She answered. Immediately, the blonde expected some sort of push from Sara, because that's normally what adults did. After a few minutes, she realized that there wasn't going to be a push. Instead, Sara simply pulled up into a Dairy Queen.

"Flavour of choice?" Sara asked as they walked into the store. Lindsey beamed, already beginning her new 'hero' worship.

"Cookie dough." She stated. Sara nodded, and grabbed their order. After paying, Sara led the little blonde out to a bench under a tree, where they both plopped down and began to eat their ice cream. Sara had decided on plain vanilla. Lindsey had a wry smile on her face.

"Why vanilla? There's not much to it." She asked, looking up at Sara. The brunette shrugged.

"It's kind of like me, I suppose. Blank, boring... I like it." Sara teased. Lindsey giggled, shaking her head.

"You don't seem boring. I mean, you stood up to mom, after all. That takes guts." Sara immediately nodded in agreement.

"That does take guts... Ah well, she doesn't particularly like me anyway." Sara stated with confidence. The little blonde smirked.

"Join the club, membership is free." She stated sarcastically. The older woman sighed.

"Your mom loves you, Lindsey. She's got a funny way of showing it, but she does. If she didn't love you, believe me, she wouldn't be so pissy." Sara offered, finishing off her cone. Lindsey sighed.

"I know, but sometimes it feels pretty bad...Wow, look at that sunset! I wish we were in the country, it's easier to see there..." Lindsey stood up, gazing at the sunset. Sara thought for a moment, before smiling.

"I know where you can get a real good look at it. Come on, I'll show you." Lindsey grabbed Sara's hand as they walked back to the car. The brunette's heart did a little flip at the kind gesture. She normally wasn't good with kids at all, but this seemed special. As they drove, Lindsey kept her hand entwined with Sara's, feeling as safe as she did with her mom. She creased her brow, however, when they parked back in the CSI lot.

"Uh, Sara...?" Lindsey inquired, looking at her friend questionably. Sara laughed, and got out of the car.

"Don't worry, you'll see. I think you'll like it." Sara reassured. She brought Lindsey to a door at the back of the lab. They ascended the stairs that were behind the door, and soon were on the roof. There was a chain fence around the edge, and knee-high concrete barriers. The view was spectacular.

"Woah..." Lindsey mumbled. She was suddenly scooped up by Sara, who placed the girl to sit on her shoulders. Lindsey giggled, and stared out at the sunset.

"That's really pretty..." She stated. Sara smiled, watching as the sun slowly set below the horizon.

"Yeah, it is. Here, now come and talk to me." Sara placed Lindsey down on the barrier, joining in to sit beside the troubled little blonde. Lindsey sighed.

"I feel lonely without mom sometimes. She's never around, and when she is, she's constantly yelling at me for something. I want my mom back. Sometimes it feels like she cares more about work, or about her stupid boyfriends than me. It feels like she doesn't care!" Lindsey cried, leaning heavily into Sara's shoulder. Sara wrapped her arm around the sobbing girl, leaning back against the fence.

"Linds, your mom does care about you, I can assure you that. She loves you so much, you're the reason she works. You're lucky to have a mom who cares enough to get on your case about things, as stupid as that sounds. You should try to talk to her... Or write her a letter, something so that she knows you miss her. She loves you, Linds. All we ever hear about around the lab is you and how great you are. You've got to believe me, kiddo. She loves you." Sara reassured softly, wiping the little blonde's face free of tears with the cuff of her sleeve. They were quiet for a few moments, enjoying the cool air of the night.

"Sara? Thanks..." Lindsey's words were so soft that Sara wasn't sure she actually heard them. She smiled.

"Any time, Linds, any time." She replied, drawing her knee up to her chest. For another few moments, they were once again silent. Soon, the air was broken.

"Sara? ...did your mom yell at you, too?" Lindsey felt Sara tense. She looked up at the brunette's face, and saw a look of pain. Sara sighed, closing her eyes.

"My mother didn't love me, Lindsey. Neither did my father. I... I didn't have a life like you do..." Sara finally stuttered out, seeming to curl further into herself. Lindsey grasped Sara's hand.

"I won't tell anyone." She whispered. Sara sighed, feeling her heart clench at the soft words.

"I'm... I'm a little like you. My father was murdered, too. My mother killed him. The only time my mother ever touched me was when she was hitting me. My father would yell, he'd drink, he'd hit my brother and me. Sometimes... He'd come in my room and... well... He did things that dads aren't supposed to do... One night, my mom got very angry with him. They fought, and I got caught in the middle of it..." Sara trailed off, feeling her resolve and stoic voice wavering. Lindsey reached up and hugged Sara tightly.

"I won't tell, I promise." Sara smiled, hugging Lindsey back.

"Thank you... will you talk to your mom?" Sara asked, kneeling to Lindsey's height. She nodded, smiling softly.

"Yeah, I will right away." Sara smiled at the little Willows' confidence. She ruffled her hair.

"That's the spirit." Suddenly, the door to the roof swung open violently, revealed a very pissed of Catherine. Sara immediately stood up, while Lindsey walked over to her mom.

"Mom, can we-"

"Go wait in my office Lindsey, I'll be down in a second." Catherine cut her daughter off swiftly, still stalking over to Sara. Lindsey looked to Sara, hoping she would be okay, before turning and going down the stairs. Sara braced herself, ready for whatever shit Catherine was planning on throwing at her now.

What she didn't expect was the rough slap to the left cheek. Sara stared straight ahead, feeling the burn. She soon turned her head back to its originally straight position. She kept her anger in check, staring down at the furious blonde.

"What the fuck are you doing, taking my daughter around town? What if something happened, huh? It would be YOUR FAULT, you dumb shit! And the roof, for fuck's sake, one of THE most dangerous places here! What were you thinking!" Catherine screamed. Sara opened her mouth to answer. But before she could even form a word, Catherine slapped her again, this time on the right cheek.

"Don't even fucking answer that! You had NO RIGHT! Do you hear me? NO RIGHT. Probably fucking giving her advice on how to hate me, eh, Sidle? You make me sick! You're dangerous, a loose cannon! If you did anything to her, I swear, I will fucking kill you!" Catherine shrieked. Sara straightened her shoulders once again to face the enraged woman.

"You need to go speak with your daughter. She wants to talk to you." Sara ground out, feeling her anger die with the slight pain. This was no different than any other time in her life, she always seemed to get beat up or slapped. The only difference was, this time, she didn't think she deserve it. In a flash, she felt four razor sharp nails claw across her left cheek. Her hand immediately flew to the wound, holding it tightly.

"Don't tell me what I need to do, or what my daughter wants! You aren't raising her. You're in no position to give advice! You're not a mother, and I doubt you ever will be." Catherine snarled, shoving Sara hard into the fence behind her. The fence rattled under the brunette's weight. Sara braced herself with her hands, feeling blood trickle down from her cheek. She pushed herself back to stand, attempting to gain back some ground.

"You're right. I never will be a mother. I'm a monster, remember? Monsters shouldn't have kids, no point in me even thinking about it." Sara replied in a steely, icy calm voice. Catherine yanked Sara towards her by the collar of her shirt and gave Sara a good punch to the temple, just enough to knock her off balance. Sara landed on the concrete with a loud thud. She looked up, resting on her elbows as she began to get off of her knees. A swift kick to the ribs stopped that attempt.

"You stupid bitch, I hate you! If I ever see you around my daughter again, I'll kill you!" Catherine made her point clear by kicking Sara across the face, sending her rolling towards the barrier with a gash above her left eye. With that, Catherine turned on her heel and began walking towards the door. She stopped when she heard a distinctive hacking from the brunette. She turned to see what was going on, wondering if she was choking. But then again, why should she care?

Sara was doubled over, clutching her side. It took a while for her to realize, but Catherine soon became angry again. Sara wasn't hacking, she was laughing through her own blood. Catherine stormed down the stairs, flying into her office. Lindsey was seated at the couch, looking nervous. Catherine sat down in her chair, leaning forward.

"Alright, Lindsey. What's going on?" She asked, trying to control her now raging adrenaline. Lindsey sighed, and started from the beginning, going through all of her emotions. Catherine listened intently, holding her daughters hand.

"And so then, I told Sara about how I was feeling, and she said that you loved me and that I should talk to you... She told me about her family, and I didn't feel so bad anymore...Please, I just want you back..." Lindsey finished, throwing herself into Catherine's arms. Catherine hugged her daughter tightly.

"I'm sorry babe... I'll try to be around more, I promise." Lindsey smiled.

"Hey mom? Do you think Sara could come around sometime, too? She's really cool." Lindsey asked. Right away, she felt her mom tense.

"Maybe..." She answered, trying to force a smile. Lindsey frowned.

"Mom... What did you do to Sara?" She asked, facing her mother. Catherine dropped her eyes.

"Something not nice... I...I think I'm going to go apologize..." Catherine stood and walked out of the room, her head hung in shame. What had she done? Hitting somebody... What was wrong with her? As Catherine opened the door at the top of the stairway, she stopped.

Sara was sitting on the top of the fence, her feet dangling over the outside edge. She was smoking, the embers of her cigarette luminescent in the night. She was facing away, her jacket discarded on the concrete. She looked as if she hadn't noticed Catherine's presence at all. The blonde decided to observe the younger woman from her spot.

Sara was incredibly thin, unhealthily so. Her back was slightly hunched, showing the bumps of her spine through her tank top. Her fingers were long and bony, the veins pulsing under her skin as she took another drag. She wasn't looking so good.

"You just gonna stare at me, or what?" Catherine was snapped out of her reverie by Sara's incredibly raspy voice. She looked up at the brunette, who turned around. Her eyes were black against the night sky, her hair flying in the wind. She looked almost inhuman, like a mystical creature out of some book.

"Listen, Sara... I'm-"

"Don't." Sara cut Catherine off mid-sentence with her gruff tone. Catherine closed her mouth, looking down at her feet.

"Please, I just want to-"

"No, Catherine. Don't worry about it. I'm used of getting beaten down. You were protecting your daughter. She needs you." Sara cut her off again, turning back to the night sky before her. Catherine walked tentatively up to stand off to the side of Sara. She looked down, and saw that it was indeed a very long drop. Sara was incredibly close to the point where gravity would make quick work of her.

"It's not as large of a drop as you think it is. I've been pushed from higher." Sara stated, taking another drag of her cigarette. Catherine leaned her head against the cold fence, clutching it between her fingers.

"I'm sorry." The blonde's voice rang through the air, the echo muffled and bleary. Sara huffed.

"You are now, after the adrenaline left your system. Although, it was pretty funny, seeing you so angry. Damn sexy, too." Sara replied, her voice rough and filled with amusement. Catherine looked up at Sara incredulously.

"You found me attacking you funny?" The brunette turned to Catherine, a sly grin on her face. She suddenly leaped up from her spot on the fence, balancing on the edge. Catherine's eyes popped open in fear as Sara walked in a drunken fashion along the top of the fence.

"Of course I found it funny, how could I not? You, the one who's ALWAYS in control, losing it over little me. Ha HA! The ultimate conundrum is not why, but how this happened... A funny thing really, almost like a great imbalance. We all have our little 'fits' as one may describe them, but you just suffered what one would expound as a rage! And the result ensued is hilarity!" Sara laughed loudly, spinning on the ball of her heels as she spoke in a slurry and overly-sophisticated pattern.

"Sara, get down from there! You're going to get hurt!" Catherine called, following Sara's pacing, watching as she teetered on the edge. Sara simply laughed and raised her left leg, balancing on her toes.

"Surely you don't believe that I would fall, would you? I will only fall if I am meant to fall, dear Catherine. So if I fall, then I will fall and there will be nothing but the ground to answer to... Besides, why would it matter to you? Rejoice in my fall, Catherine! I assure you, I would have so much fun falling. It is just the landing that I don't particularly like." Sara jumped forward, grabbing the fence with her hands and flipping twice before landing on her feet again. Catherine couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Sara, just come over here. As much fun as it would be to fall, I think you'd had better get down." Catherine tried again, reaching her hands up to Sara. In the blink of an eye, the quick-handed brunette reached down and yanked Catherine up onto the fence with her. The blonde shrieked as she looked down, clinging to Sara desperately.

"What are you doing? Are you nuts? Let me down, this isn't funny Sara!" Catherine screamed. Sara grabbed the older woman's hands, arranging them with her own to form a waltz position, with Sara leading.

"Come now, Catherine! Dance the last dance with me, you won't regret it. Feel the wind, feel yourself tipping over the edge! Why would I want to come down there when we both could come up here!" Sara let out another loud laugh as Catherine shrieked again, desperately trying to lean them both back towards safe ground. Sara twirled Catherine, pulling the blonde's back tight against her front, quickly skipping backwards along the fence.

"No need to worry, you aren't going to fall. Although I can guarantee you'll scream..." Sara whispered in the older woman's ear, sending shivers down her spine. Catherine let out a whimper, mumbling more apologies. The younger woman laughed in a husky, low voice before licking Catherine from her chin to her eye.

"Don't apologize, it spoils the mood. Relax, enjoy. I'm a bit of a masochist, as you can see. Waiting...Wanting...Hoping... I'm not passing up this chance..." Sara murmured. The blonde below her gasped as the taller brunette pushed her hand down inside the front of her underwear. Catherine squeaked as they once again began moving, although in a slower manner, much like a dance.

"Sara...ugn...Why?" Catherine asked between moans and squeaks. Sara continued to move her fingers within the blonde's wet heat, curling them to fit the shorter woman's needs.

"You got what you wanted. Now I'm taking what I need." Her reply shot through Catherine like an electric jolt, her knees almost giving out. Sara spun her around, lifting Catherine onto her hips. The blonde's legs wrapped around Sara's slim waist, locking in behind her. She was getting close to her peak, clutching Sara for dear life as they balanced on the slim fence. Sara's poise was immaculate, as she wasn't even wavering in the wind. Sara pushed Catherine's chest back, forcing her to lean heavily over the edge. The blonde screamed as she looked down, and clutched Sara for dear life as she spasmed, her orgasm washing over her.

Sara jumped backwards, landing on her feet as she continued to work Catherine down from her climax. As she felt the blonde finally relax, she slipped her hand out of Catherine's underwear, standing up. The older woman looked up from where she lay on the ground, a glistening layer of sweat covering her features.

"What... what the hell are you playing at?" Catherine asked as she managed to sit up. Sara laughed, wiping her fingers off. She gazed down at the blonde, her eye still oozing with blood from being kicked in the face, the scratches on her cheek a vivid red.

"I'm not playing at anything, Cath. It was fun to see you in such a tizzy over me 'falling'. You wanted to hurt me because you thought you were protecting your daughter. I needed to see your fear, to know that you wouldn't do it again. As I said before, masochism is a strange thing. Regardless of where we were, I was going to end up fucking you." Sara stated calmly, picking up her jacket and throwing it on. Catherine stared at her, completely shocked.

"...I'll just pretend I understand. Listen, I really am sorry for attacking you..." Catherine apologized again as she stood, steadying her wobbly knees. Sara waved it off.

"Don't worry about it. Go spend some time with your daughter. She needs you." The brunette's parting words rang clear as she walked down the stairs, leaving Catherine standing on the roof.

My daughter needs me... She needs you, too, Sara. I want...No, I need you.

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...maybe I'll follow it up later.