Well, it's been a long, long time since I last updated anything here on Fanfiction Dot Net. No thanks to the dumb government censorship that was made to please some lazy helicopter moms who thought we have porn here...

Many of the chapters after this one were first posted on AO3. As such, their Afterwords reflect my state of mind and perhaps whatever real world event is going on at the time of original posting.


Hakurei Shrine

"Well, t'was a shame that the Spell Cards didn't see much use."

"At least we did see how effective they were when we used them."

Mid-noon, one day after Remilia Scarlet was defeated and the Scarlet Mist dispelled, Reimu and Marisa met up at the shrine, discussing about the Spell Cards that they used to help them beat their enemies and resolve the Incident.

"So, whaddya think?" Marisa asked Reimu. "Should we stick with Spell Cards in the future, or not?"

Reimu touched her chin and thought about it. "Maybe if we can make them easier to activate? Otherwise, we might have no chance to use them in particularly intense fights." She then glanced at the Sacred Hakurei Gohei (in its parasol form) which she set down on top of the donation box. "But even then, they seem outclassed by this..."

"Good point." Marisa said. "Ain't got no use for a weapon ya can't deploy quickly enough."

The two girls' meeting is interrupted when they heard footsteps coming from the direction of the torii gate.

"A visitor?" Reimu wondered. She turned toward the torii gate to see who it was.

It was Remilia Scarlet, with a smug expression on her face, proudly making her way across the shrine grounds while Sakuya stood by her side, carrying a parasol to give her shade from the sun.

"Good day, Guardians of the Sanctuary." The vampire mistress greeted. "Greetings from the House of Scarlet."

Reimu and Marisa both rolled their eyes at the visitor.

"The Makai are ya doin' here?" Marisa asked.

"Is it about the Scarlet Mist from yesterday?" Reimu asked as well.

"Indeed..." Remilia answered smugly, using the same melodramatic tone she used during her pre-battle spiel from the previous day, sans the thick foreign accent. "The Mist, and my plans to take over this land you call Gensokyo, are all an act, part of an elaborate plan of mine to gain your attention, so I can..." She paused. Apparently, she came up with the answer on the fly, but didn't think about the last part thoroughly.

Remilia's sentence hung unfinished for ten full seconds, as she struggled to find a proper way to finish her sentence melodramatically.

"So ya can what? Drink our blood?" Marisa interrupted Remilia's train of thought sarcastically.

If Remilia wasn't a vampire, she would've blushed out of embarrassment right there. "I-in any case, my appearing to want to kill you was because of me getting too dramatic with my act. That is very uncouth for a noblewoman such as me. I do apologize for tha-"

The vampire mistress's speech is interrupted when a piece of cloth suddenly appeared out of nowhere and stuffed itself into her mouth.

The suddenness of the interruption and how it happened is so amusing that both Reimu and Marisa chortled at the sight of it. Even Sakuya had to resist the urge to giggle at it.

Remilia, on the other hand, is annoyed by it, as she pulled the cloth out of her mouth. "Who did that?" She asked in an annoyed tone.

"My guess is a certain poltergeist livin' with Reimu here..." Marisa answered.

"She is, however, an annoyance to me..." Reimu added. She then turned to an empty patch of the ground. "Come out now, Kana..."

As the shrine maiden said that, the poltergeist in question materialized out of thin air, her intangible form hovering an inch above the ground.

Not-So-Imaginary Spookiness

Kana Anaberal

"I don't know much about vampire behavior." Kana complained as she crossed her arms. "But one thing I do know about them is that they like to be melodramatic, which annoys me."

"Not as annoying as all the pranks you played on me." Reimu countered.

Remilia passed the cloth to Sakuya, who disposed of it with the literal snap of a finger (time-stopping is presumably involved). "Poltergeist, hm? I have to say, I have never seen one for myself, though I have heard about them from Patchouli..."

Kana shushed. "Whatever. You caused that Scarlet Mist from yesterday, did you? I hope you won't cause another Incident again, unless you want to be beaten up by Reimu and Marisa again..."

With that said, the poltergeist disappeared into thin air.

"You were right..." Remilia informed Reimu with an eyeroll. "She is annoying..."

"Ain't usually so much, though." Marisa pointed out. "Must be the Scarlet Mist makin' her feelin' really cranky."

Remilia then cleared her throat. "Anyway, as I was saying, I apologize for how I tried too hard to be dramatic yesterday. That gave the two of you a very bad first impression of me..."

Reimu and Marisa collectively rolled their eyes again at that statement.

"So lemme get this straight..." Marisa said as she took her hat off. "Ya just showed up in Gensokyo out of the blue yesterday, and then caused that godsdamned Scarlet Mist, not because ya wanna take over Gensokyo, but because ya just wanna meet us?!"

"The attempted bloodsucking was an unnecessary improvisation on my part," Remilia clarified. "but yes, for it was all destined by fate which I manipulated-"

"Pardon my interruption, and forgive me if I sounded rude, mistress..." Sakuya interrupted. "But you are just afraid of admitting that the Guardians of the Sanctuary have beaten you in battle."

Remilia was not amused by the interruption. One by her loyal servant, no less. "Have you been hanging out with her lately, Sakuya?"

"If you are referring to Lady Patchouli, then yes." Sakuya informed.

At that moment, the maid suddenly shot her hand out to her left, catching a piece of paper that was sent flying here by magic.

"Speaking of Lady Patchouli, she said she will not be able to join us for this visit today..." Sakuya then read from the paper.

Remilia raised her eyebrows upon hearing that. "Why? Did she have some urgent matters to tend to?"

"Urgent enough that she requests our return to the mansion right now." Sakuya continued reading from the paper. "The Little Sister Alert has just been tripped. Also, there is something the assistant added to the letter independently of Lady Patchouli..."

...

Scarlet Mansion

All the mansion's Fairy Maids darted straight for the nearest door or window they can find as another explosion erupted from the basement.

"I knew the transportation of the mansion across the world would cause those wards to deteriorate..." Patchouli mumbled as she arrived at the scene of the explosion. "I should get to replacing them..."

At that moment, yet another explosion erupted from the basement. This one is followed by something, or rather, someone flying out of the hole made in the wall.

"Good day to you, Flandre..." Patchouli, with a deadpan tone, greeted the person who came out of the hole. "What would you like to do today?"

Little Mistress of Mass Destruction

Flandre Scarlet

"I want to play~!" The person, Flandre, said cheerfully and maniacally. "And I want you to play with me, Pache~!"

"Very well..." Patchouli said as she opened the grimoire she brought along. "Be a good girl, and I will play with you as long as I- er, you can..."

"Lady Patchouli!" Her assistant appeared all of a sudden, panting hard like she just ran a marathon. "You won't believe what I found in the spell circle you used for the transportation ritual!"

Patchouli glared at her assistant. "Can't you see that I have a Little Mistress of Mass Destruction to deal with?"

The assistant didn't care what her master just told her. "It was probably the biggest blunder in the history of sorcery!" She exclaimed as she held out a parchment with a stenciled spell circle on it. "You know how the spell was supposed to send this entire mansion and everyone in it 300 leagues away? Well, you misspelled one of the runes, so it ended up being 300 leagues and years instead!"

Hearing that, Patchouli's normally narrow eyes widened in surprise. "So rather than just moving to another realm, we also moved into the future?"

"Yes..." The assistant answered.

In response to hearing that, Patchouli let out such a loud exclamation that even Flandre reeled back, intimidated by it.

"BLOODY HELL!"

...

Hakurei Shrine

"So we're no longer in the year 1815, but in the year 2115 instead?" Remilia asked for clarification.

"That appears to be what Lady Patchouli's assistant meant..." Sakuya confirmed.

Remilia let out a groan and then sighed. "Ugh... Why does everything dramatic I do always get ruined?!" She sulked like a typical annoyed brat would. "A-anyway, I have some urgent matters back at the mansion to attend to..." She told Reimu and Marisa. "We'll meet again some other time..."

With that, Remilia took to the skies, with Sakuya right by her side as the mistress and servant duo quickly headed back to their home.

As Remilia and Sakuya departed from the shrine, Reimu and Marisa blinked, trying to make sense of what they just experienced.

"So, no post ass-kickin' party this time 'round?" Marisa turned to Reimu.

"Perhaps not." Reimu responded. "What were they talking about, anyway?"

"Something 'bout a little sister and time travel, two entirely separate matters?" Marisa summarized. "Anyway, her ego has shrunken a lot compared to yesterday, but it is still pretty damn big."

"Yeah." Reimu agreed.

...

Later that night.

It was late in the night...

Marisa has already returned home after a short errand to the antique shop in the middle of the Forest of Magic, leaving Reimu by herself at the shrine to take care of things.

With the shrine grounds swept clean of leaves and petals (and the occasional trash left behind by the fairies), Reimu decided to call it a day. Setting the broom down by the donation box, the shrine maiden grabbed the Sacred Hakurei Gohei, and took a step into the main building...

"'Welcome to Gensokyo'" A voice suddenly spoke from behind Reimu. "That is some way to introduce someone to this sacred land while simultaneously knocking some senses into them, Hakurei Reimu."

Reimu paused. "Who is there?" She asked as she slowly turned around, with the Sacred Hakurei Gohei (still in its parasol form) in her grip.

Standing in the middle of the shrine grounds is the silhouette of a woman. Nothing about her appearance could be identified due to the darkness of the night.

"And then there's your witch friend, Marisa Genevieve Kirisame, distracting that intruder by, of all things, challenging her to a dance-off." The woman continued. "I have to say, I am impressed."

Reimu tightened her grip on the parasol. "Identify yourself!" She demanded.

The silhouetted woman lowered what appeared to be her umbrella, as she took several steps forward. She is now close enough that Reimu could make out her physical features.

The woman has long blonde hair adorned by a pale pink mob cap with a thin red ribbon. Her outfit is an oriental tabard with various trigrams over a pale pink western-styled dress whose sleeves have black bands tying off the ends.

First Sage of Gensokyo

Yakumo Yukari

"Yakumo Yukari, Architect of the Hakurei Barrier, and First Sage of Gensokyo." The woman introduced herself. "I'm here to talk to you about the thing that you and your friend invented very recently. I believe you two called it Spell Cards..."


Jeez, Patch, that is one enormous blunder for you to make. You managed to accidentally send you, your friend, and her entire mansion and everyone in it 300 years into the future...

And so ends the EoSD arc. Next chapter, we'll be starting the PCB arc, where Reimu and Marisa will have to deal with whoever it is that stole spring (as in the season) and replaced it with winter.

Guardians of the Sanctuary. I guess that name for Reimu and Marisa's Incident-solving team will be sticking around... And yes, that is a reference to the Guardians of the Galaxy. Marisa sure loves her pop culture references, eh?

Now that Yukari is formally introduced, how will it affect the career of this version of Reimu as the Hakurei Shrine maiden?

"And that, as they say, is that..."

Afterwords end here.