The Burglar & The Baby-Sitter
--
One day, Peter and Wendy decided to go out. "Honeys! Listen up!"Wendy cried to her lost boys. They were seen beating each other up, yelling, and crying. Wendy had spoken as if she was talking to little six-year old angels. "Oh, why won't they stop?" She asks.
"Duh! You treat them like six-year old angels! You baby them to much, this is how you do it," Peter says. Then he whistled really loud and yelled, "Sound-off!" but nobody payed attention. "I said sound-off! Nobody ever ignored a sound-off!" Peter said nervously.
"Well, it's not 1953 anymore, now is it?" Wendy said matter-of-factly. (The classic Peter Pan movie was made in 1953)
"Well you try then!" Peter said.
Wendy whistled. "Boys! Oh, boys! If you listen your father will give you each 15 of his credit card money to spend!" She yelled.
Everyone stopped.
"Wendy! I'm not giving those rats any money! They're all grounded, remember?" Peter said.
"I'm not! I'm a good boy!" Nibs replied.
"You weren't so good at Slightly's house party now were you?" Peter replied.
"But that was episodes ago! Please...!" Nibs pleaded.
"Fine, fine. Nobody is grounded except for Slightly," Wendy said and everyone cheered except for Slightly.
"WHAT? Why am I grounded?" Slightly yelped.
"For sneaking into the girl's locker room!" Wendy replied.
"That was LAST week! I thought I was on probation!" Slightly replied back.
"OK, so that was last week, but you pretended to be the Substitute gym teacher two days ago, you're grounded for that!" Wendy said. Slightly groaned. Then grinned.
"Stop smiling! There's nothing to smile about anyway," Peter said. Slightly just shrugged. He shouldn't have complained in the first place, he knew that he was just going to steal the other lost boys money anyway. Hehe.
--
As Peter handed out the money, Cubby asked, "Mommy, where are you guys going?"
"We're going out Sweetums, and you guys are going to stay home, but I'll be calling a baby-sitter," Wendy said.
"I'm 17! I don't need a stupid baby-sitter," Slightly muttered.
"Yes you do! She will make sure you guys don't do anything unappropriate , or hide any other things behind the sofa," Wendy replied.
Slightly started muttering stuff under his breath and Nibs laughed.
Wendy picked up the imaginary phone and dialed the sitter's number. (Seriously, when did they get a freakin' phone line in NeverLand! It doesn't make sense! NOTHING MAKES SENSE ANYMORE! Ah!)
"Yes? Is this Mrs. Iwillkillurkids? This is Wendy, I need for you to baby-sit tonight. Oh, you're busy? Oh, you're twice removed cousin in law who got ran over then spit up by a cow then brought to life and got attacked by killer squirrels with bomb pies whose other brother in law's cousin had the same thing happen to him and now he is miserably living under a bridge and taking care of an insane little girl named Vivian and now his wife is in labor for the 50th time? I'm so sorry to hear that! I hope she has a nice baby. No, don't worry I'll get another sitter, that's alright. Bye," And with that Wendy hung up. She looked around as everyone was staring at her. "What?" She asked.
"Nothing, but 50 kids? Geez, and I thought WE had it bad," Peter said.
Nibs laughed along with Peter and Wendy, but realized that the joke wasn't supposed to be funny for him.
"So we won't get a sitter? NO! WERE ALL GONNA DIE! WERE DOOMED! WITH NO BABY-SITTER NO ONE WILL BE HERE TO TELL ME WHEN TO STOP EATING AND THEN I'LL EXPLODE!" Cubby cried.
"Well, I thought about it and I guess Slightly and Nibs could baby-sit for the younger lost boys, I mean they ARE 17 years old," Wendy said.
"Really? I could've SWORN Nibs turned 6 last year!" Peter said.
"No, Peter, that was the little boy next door," Wendy said. Peter shrugged.
"Now, there is food in the fridge, and here is the emergency phone number list," Wendy said. The list was 50 feet long.
"But Wendy, half of the numbers on this list are 911, you wrote it like 12 times," Slightly said.
"That's for you not to forget!" Wendy said cheery like. Slightly and Nibs looked at each other. "Aww, my little boys all grown up! How ironic of this since you CAN'T ever grow up! Wah!" Wendy cried.
"Great, there will be no living with her after this," Peter said.
As Peter and Wendy left, Slightly and Nibs took on a count-down. "5...4...3...2...1!" They cheered as the car pulled out and they saw them driving away. Slightly and Nibs cheered again and jumped on the sofa.
"Ah, the whole house to ourselves," Slightly said.
"Again," Nibs added.
They sighed. Then Slightly felt a poke on his arm. "What?" Slightly said angrily, as it was Cubby poking him. His eyes were all watery.
"Cubby, what's the matter?" Nibs asked.
"It's...It's Toodles! We think he's choking!" Cubby cried and started sniffing.
"Great, not even 5 minutes and we already have responsibility to care for!" Slightly cried.
They ran into the Dining Room and found Toodles on the ground shivering. "Oh no!" Slightly ran over to him. "Toodles, Toodles speak to me!" Slightly cried. Toodles turned over on his arms and looked at him with sad eyes, then he pointed to his mouth, then to something in his arms.
"Toodles, what is it?" Nibs asked.
Toodles took out the thing from his arms, it was a jar of jelly. Slightly squinted his eyes. "You...made me...do a...SAD scene...because of...a stupid...JAR OF JELLY!" Slightly yelled and dropped Toodles on the floor.
"I think they're hungry," Nibs pointed out.
"Nooo...," Slightly replied sarcastically.
They made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the little lost boys and Nibs started pouring milk into cups. "What are you doing?" Slightly asked.
"Watch and learn my friend," Nibs said and Slightly followed him out of the kitchen. Nibs passed around the glasses of milk and he watched proudly as the other Lost Boys drank and drank. Soon they rubbed their stomachs, two seconds later they all fell asleep automatically. Nibs laughed. Slightly dropped his jaw open.
"How long will it last?" He asked.
"6 hours tops," Nibs replied.
"Whoa, how did you know about that?" Slightly asked.
"I read Wendy's parenting magazines, some stuff in that thing, man! It just blows you away," Nibs said. Slightly backed away slowly.
"Nibs, sometimes you scare me," he said and he ran off to the living room.
--
Awhile later Nibs and Slightly were watching some scary movies and some funny and hilarious home videos (hehe). Then suddenly they hear a rattling sound. "Nibs, what's that sound?" Slightly asks. Nibs shrugged. They continued to watch the movie but they were slightly nervous. Then something rattled again. Nibs and Slightly screamed and hugged each other.
"Slightly, I'm scared! What's that rattling noise?" Nibs exclaims.
"I don't know, wanna search around?" Slightly asks. Nibs nods and they search around.
Suddenly they hear it again. "Oh my god, it's coming from the door!" Nibs shouts. Slightly shushes him. They move closer to the door and listen. They hear breathing on the other side and the door knob rattles again. Slightly and Nibs scream.
"Wait! Stop screaming! Let's look through the window," Slightly says. They push back the curtains on the window and look through. Since it was dark, all they saw was a dark figure looming over the other side of the door.
Then the figure starts knocking on the door.
"Slightly, what are we going to do? What if it's a burglar?" Nibs asks nervously. Slightly shrugs. The knocking continued. Slightly kept watch at the window, while Nibs got an idea. "Slightly, I'm going to go outside and try to hose down the burglar, you keep watch," Nibs explained. Slightly nodded.
Nibs went outside and turned on the hose, then shot it toward the door. Slightly heard a yell and the figure slowly fell down and he heard another groan. Nibs rushed inside immediately.
"How did it go Nibs?" Slightly asked.
"I hosed him down good," Nibs said nodding. Slightly and Nibs then rushed to the phone to dial 911.
"Hurry Nibs, what's the number for 911?" Slightly asks.
"I forgot, wasn't it 191 or something?" Nibs asks. Slightly shrugged but before he could try a number the phone rang. "Maybe it's Wendy!" Nibs exclaimed happily.
"H-Hello?" Slightly asks into the phone.
"Slightly, it's me! Open the door," A raspy voice said on the other line.
"No! Go away!" Slightly yelled and put the phone receiver down.
"Who was it?" Nibs asked.
"It was the burglar!" Slightly cried.
"Slightly, let's let him in but set a trap so we can catch him," Nibs says.
"Yeah! Come on, let's get to work," Slightly says and they go to work in Slightly's secret lab.
--
Moments later the trap was set and they were ready to open the door. "On my count, 1...2...3!" Slightly yells and Nibs opens the door. At first no one comes in, but then the figure droops in, falling into the trap.
"Aah!" The burglar yells as he trips over a string line and falls into a tray of fudge. Slightly and Nibs drop a fish net on top of him.
"Slightly! Nibs! Get this off of me!" Peter yells.
"PETER?" Slightly and Nibs yell together.
"Duh..." Peter says. Slightly and Nibs help him up.
"Why were you trying to break in?" Nibs asks.
"Well, when me and Wendy got to the restaurant I realized I forgot my wallet. So I got home and also realized I left my keys, so I rattled the door knob and knocked on the door for you guys to open in for me, but then I get hosed down! While I'm falling I accidentally fall on top of Wendy's stupid gnome, and it hits me on the throat, causing me to sound a bit raspy. I then decide to call you guys but you yelled something and hung up!" Peter explained.
Slightly and Nibs looked at each other. "Well, Peter, the reason we didn't let you in is because we didn't hear you, and when I was on the phone I thought you were my friend," Slightly lied nervously.
"Oh, well, then ok," Peter says. Nibs and Slightly look at each other. "Oh, Wendy bought this for you, I have NO idea why," Peter said, handing Slightly a new game for his Leaf Cube.
"Oh wow! Neat!" Slightly says putting it in the game console and playing it immediately.
"No! Peter! Don't you know what happens when Slightly is this happy?" Nibs says alarmingly.
"No, why?" Peter asks.
"Just watch," Nibs says.
Slightly suddenly starts to hum. Then he breaks into song!
It's a whole new game! An amazing stragedy and graphics galore!
And when I'm sitting here, with underwear, I can't believe I have this new software!
Peter screams and Nibs jumps off the window. Hehe. Hey, I break into song sometimes. I'm kinda off key but, oh well. Oh, wait. That's Colleen. Never mind. Hehe.
THE END
