Shaun Snape, Age 8

By Teacherbev

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling, I am not a multinational bookselling company, nor am I a multi-million dollar movie company, so I don't own anything that you recognize. I am a retired former teacher who likes to twist plots and play with characters, so enjoy.

AN: Warning excessively fluffy scenes ahead also some rather blatent mis uses of punctuation!

Chapter 15: An Uncomfortable Talk

Molly Weasley looked around her paper strewn living room and smiled; contentment with her family and her life clearly written upon her face. As usual, she and Arthur had watched all of the children as they madly opened their presents. They both enjoyed watching the happiness and joy, hearing the exclamations of wonder, the heartfelt thanks so openly expressed that they always waited until every child was done before turning to their own inexpertly wrapped packages. She smiled as she opened her first box, turning to thank Bill and Charlie for the lovely and warm house slippers she had just unwrapped. She leaned slightly forward to place the opened box on the floor and to reach for the next unopened one that Ginny was handing up to her when she startled, sitting back suddenly at the unexpected weight on her lap. Her movement caused her well worn and well loved oak rocking chair to tip back precariously before she managed to lean forward enough to turn the movement into a rock.

Arthur had his wand out and pointed before he recognized the wailing ball curled up on Molly's lap as a very upset and crying Shaun Snape; blood and tears inexplicably mixed in strange patterns down his face. All seven of the Weasley children had stood, presents falling around their feet totally unnoticed, as they took in the sight of their mother who had unconsciously wrapped her arms around the distraught child as she gently wiped his face clean with a warm conjured wet cloth. She had Arthur conjure a bandage and tape that she gently affixed to the still oozing gash on his forehead, never missing a rock or a soothing sound. His eyebrows almost met his slowly receding hairline as he fumbled putting his wand back into his day robes.

Shaun uncurled slightly as Molly begun to croon softly, directly into his ear as she rocked him gently, back and forth, back and forth. Shaun's loud sobbing quieted and his heaving chest slowed its desperate gulps for air. As she continued to gently rock, softly singing one of her vast repertoire of soothing lullabies, she raised her head and caught her husband directly in the eyes. With a jerking nod over her shoulder, she got her unspoken message across.

Arthur clapped his hands once before rubbing them together to get his children's attention. "All right you lot, hats, mittens and winter cloaks. Last nights storm left almost a half meter of new snow. Bill, Ginny and I will challenge the rest of you lot to a snowball fight; losers to do the winners chores for the day!"

The children reluctantly turned from their softly sobbing friend who was still curled tightly upon their mothers lap and began climbing the stairs to dress and prepare for the snowball fight. George and Fred reluctantly stood in front of their mother and her precious armful, awkward and wanting to help but not knowing how. Their father walked quietly behind them and placed a comforting hand on each shoulder. He leaned his head in and spoke, barely above a whisper. "Leave him to your Mum, she'll now how to help him best. I'm sure she'll call when you can help. But for now, let's leave them be. You two go up and change while I call Professor Snape at Hogwarts. I'm sure he must be frantic with worry about Shaun." He pulled his two boys into a hug, proud at the way they wanted to help their friend. The two boys returned the hug, grateful for the parental support before reluctantly climbing the stairs, heads together as they whispered madly.

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Severus leapt out of bed, tearing off his black silk pajama top, buttons spitting madly around the room in his hurry to be dressed. Remus, Sirius and Albus all stood in various stages of shock and dismay at what had just happened and their unwitting role in how the morning had turned so drastically wrong so quickly.

Severus was furious as he stomped towards the bathroom, shouting over his shoulder at the three frozen men. "Don't just stand there, find him! Blasted imbeciles, couldn't just leave me alone…had to wake me up…no chance to dress…no chance to explain…" A set of black teaching robes flew from the wardrobe and slithered by themselves through the slightly open door, Severus continued muttering just soft enough that words were indistinguishable, though the tone and the meaning were very clear.

Albus grabbed each man by a shoulder and led them out to the living room, leaving Severus to dress in peace. He snapped his fingers and called softly, "Ogden!" The Head house elf appeared, poised and ready in his immaculate starched white Hogwarts tea towels, the embroidered monogram precisely centered on his chest.

"Headmaster, Merry Christmas, how can Ogden serve you?", his tone was almost cheerful, the barely meter tall being radiating more power and confidence than any of the wizards ever remembering him having before.

"Ah, yes, young Master Snape has had a terrible shock this morning and now he has…gone invisible…and disappeared again. I need the house elves to join in the search for him." Albus was looking more upset and guilty with each passing moment.

Ogden nodded and bowed, his very posture radiating power. "I shall summon the elves back from Grimmald Place and send them to searching at once, Headmaster. It has been a long time since Master Snape has felt the need to hide, but be assured, we shall find him." Albus looked from Remus to Sirius and then back at Ogden as he popped away, his disappearance making much less noise than before. Sirius shook his head in wonder, "Is it just me, or is he much more powerful and his language much better?"

Albus had just started to agree with Sirius' assessment when Ogden reappeared almost silently. "Headmaster Dumbledore, Professor Snape has received an urgent floo call from a Mr. Weasley stating that Master Snape has appeared in his living room and is very distraught but safe."

A relieved look was shared before the bedroom door was flung open and Severus practically ran into the room, his warm cloak swirling around his knee high black tightly laced leather boots. Albus went to him and grabbed him by both shoulders, holding on tightly when Severus would have pulled away from him. "Arthur just floo-ed; Shaun is safe there with them."

With a visible shudder, Severus felt his knees go weak; he would have fallen if not for the surprisingly strong grip the headmaster still had on his shoulders. Albus guided Severus over to a couch and started to set him down when Severus jerked free from his clutches and took off with a ground eating stride that would be the envy of any power walker. His black robes trailing behind him, he swept through the halls, single-mindedly intent upon his goal; the giant fireplace in the Great Hall.

Albus, Remus and Sirius followed, nearly running in their haste to keep up with the much longer legs of Severus Snape. They had barely reached the still open doors of the Great Hall in time to just see the last flash of green fire as Severus floo-ed to his son.

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Molly had rocked the boy gently, her soothing voice combined with the calm hand running through his hair had gradually calmed the child down and he had eventually stretched out, his legs hanging over the worn arm of the old wooden rocker, his face buried in the crook of Molly's arm as she clutched him tight to her ample bosom. His breathing quieted and gradually evened out until with only a few hiccoughs he relaxed into an exhausted sleep.

Molly continued to rock the black haired boy who had appeared so suddenly in her lap, her curious thoughts only halted intermittently as a cry or happy shout wafted into the room from her husband and children. She could see snatches of the intense snowball fight as one or the other side moved briefly in front of the windows, but she was much more focused on finding out what had so upset the normally cheerful child that slept in her lap, and making sure that whatever it was; it was never allowed to happen ever again.

She didn't stop rocking but her hand froze on the soft hair as the floo flashed green. She relaxed when she recognized the long thin legs of Severus Snape even before the rest of him appeared in the room. He didn't stop to brush himself off as he strode quickly across the room. Molly stood up, accepting the support of Severus' hand under one arm. She whispered to the man to sit down in the chair she had just vacated before laying his son across his lap; only letting go of the boy when his head was cradled against his father's strong chest.

Severus clutched Shaun tightly to his chest, his breath catching as he noticed the puffy eyes and traces of dried blood peeking under the edges of the stark white bandage that marred that perfect little face. Shaun's breathing was steady and deep with only an intermittent catch to bear witness to the boy's utter panic of less than an hour ago. He pulled Shaun up with the arm cradling the boy's head and kissed his soft cheek, his own eyes suspiciously wet. His free hand spread protectively across the small back as he noticed in the corner of his eye, the headmaster with Remus and Sirius standing near the front door, talking quietly with Molly. She motioned the three men to follow her after grabbing a long red cloak from the pegs on the wall and flinging it expertly around her own shoulders. The four went outside, the door closing softly as they left the two Snapes in peace.

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Shaun didn't want to wake up, the peaceful thud, thud of a strong heartbeat under one ear and the gentle rocking back and forth were soothing. His eyes were itching and burning and he knew that he had been crying but he couldn't quite remember why. The familiar smells of sandalwood aftershave and various potions ingredients let him know that he was clutched in his father's lap and he felt perfectly content to just lie in the warm arms and be still.

He felt his father's deep voice through his ear on Daddy's chest as his father spoke softly, the words just now beginning to make sense to his sleepy mind. "I am so sorry, Shaun that you had to find out that way. We had no idea the new ritual would make that blasted mark reappear or I never would have performed that rite. How do I explain to you that I am not what you think I am? I tried to save your mother and father but I was too late, we suspected the wrong man. How do I explain to an eight year old about spying and war and the choices we make when we are too young to have to make those choices?"

"Oh Shaun, you have had such pain and sorrow in your young life if I could just go back and take it all away I would do anything. I would willingly take all your pain onto my own shoulders if I could. How do I tell you that you are my life that I had no life before you, just a miserable existence; that I didn't even know was so miserable? How do I tell you that you are my heart, that without you in my life I would be nothing? I can't even say the words to tell you… I love you." The last three words were spoken in barely a whisper, the words he had such trouble saying to anyone as they had never been said to him. His long potion stained fingers carded through his son's soft black hair as he poured out his heartbreak to his sleeping son.

Shaun forced his eyes open and reached up an arm to wrap it around his father's neck, pulling himself up to kiss the startled face of his father. "I love you too, Daddy! I don't know half of what you were trying to tell me, but I trust you and I know you love me even if you can't really say the words. Grandpa Albus explained to me about your family and what you were like before I knew you. It's okay Daddy, it will be okay." Severus clung to the small boy, grateful once again that the Dursleys had been unable to break the boy's spirit and his capacity for love. He kissed Shaun back and then smiled down at the boy.

"The Weasleys, Grandpa Albus, Uncles Remus and Sirius are all outside having a snowball fight. Shall we go join them, Firefly? I'm sure you could use the practice flying and it might be fun to drop snowballs on all of them." Shaun giggled at his father's use of the nickname that Uncle Remus and Uncle Sirius had tagged him with. "Sure, Redhawk, but I want to talk later about what that…thing…means." Shaun was willing to put off his questions for a little while, it was after all Christmas and every one of his empathic abilities told him that everything his father had said while he thought Shaun was asleep was the absolute truth.

The two Snapes stood and walked slowly to the door. They snuck through it and shut it solidly behind them, keeping in the warmth of the blazing fire for later before turning into their respective animagus forms and joining the fray. No one saw Firefly flash to a nearby snowdrift and change back to a boy to scoop up hands full of snow, pack it tightly together and then change back only to clutch the hefty tightly packed ball of ice and snow in his sharp talons. With a flash of blue flame he disappeared and reappeared directly over Grandpa Albus' head. Albus was using his wandless abilities to stop any snowball thrown at him and then return it back at it's sender; so when a gigantic cold wet mass hit the back of his head and slid wet and freezing down the back of his robes he turned quickly to find out who had managed to sneak up behind him without his sensing it. He scrabbled one hand down the back of his robes, trying to scoop out the uncomfortable wet mess but found no one behind him and no where for anyone to hide. He felt two more snowballs hit his back before turning and once more waving the missiles being thrown at him back.

Remus and Sirius knew exactly who was dive bombing them and making it impossible for them to stand up and retaliate against the massive bombardment of cold wet missiles being tossed their way so expertly. After all, how often do students get to pelt their teachers with snowballs without fear of retaliation or loss of house points? Besides, the children had found out rather quickly that snowballs sent at the elderly headmaster had a very nasty habit of returning rather forcefully to the sender. True, they still sent some his way, but mostly they were concentrating their fire on their parents and the two professors.

Redhawk wasn't able to hold a snowball in his talons, his sharp claws just shredded the snow into nothingness, but that didn't stop him from dive-bombing the duo now huddled behind their now mostly blasted apart fort. He kept just out of range and flew much too fast for the rare snowball that they tried to pitch his way. Fortunately the Weasley children were taking any advantage presented by the distraction he was giving with his glorious dives.

Shaun was dropping snowballs with impunity. Ginny wasn't able to throw one very far so she had stopped trying to hit the grownups and was just standing beside a large drift of untouched white snow on the far side of her father's shed and making huge tightly packed balls for the phoenix to pick up and use to pelt the headmaster and the professors. She had seen her father get pelted several times, but her mother had gone inside. She had heard from the twins that Headmaster Dumbledore had a phoenix familiar so she just assumed the phoenix that swooped down so magnificently and was so gentle about taking the large frozen balls she held up was Fawkes.

Ginny heard a loud yelp followed by several barks and peeked around the old wooden shed to see what was going on. They didn't have a dog, so her curiosity got the better of her. She ran out to watch the huge black dog and a full grown silver wolf jumping in the air, trying to catch the tail feathers of a huge red tailed hawk that seemed to be teasing them. The bird was flying back and forth, just high enough to be safe. She put her hand up and giggled when the phoenix dropped one of her huge snowballs right on top of the bird's head and then flashed away. The weight of the mass of snow on the top of the hawk made it drop down just low enough for the dog to catch one of its legs in it's mouth and pull the madly flapping hawk the rest of the way down to the snow covered ground.

With a muttered curse, the hawk turned into Professor Snape. All of the Weasleys looked on in astonishment as the dog turned back into Professor Black who was gagging and pretending to shove huge handfuls of snow in his mouth, complaining about the taste of 'greasy git'. The wolf fell down in the snow and Professor Lupin appeared, holding his side as he laughed at the other two. But the most miraculous thing was the phoenix when it appeared in a flash of blue flame before dropping another huge mass of snow right on Professor Snapes' upturned face before landing on his chest and popping into Shaun!

The children all closed their mouths and one of the twins yelled; "Dog pile" before all eight of the children jumped on top of the three wizards and a huge snow fight ensued. Arthur continued taking picture after picture until the entire wet and freezing cold group heard Molly's call for hot chocolate and laughing and happy once more, they all re-entered the Burrow for scrumptious Christmas feast with plenty of hot chocolate with marshmallows.

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After a belly busting meal at the Weasley's house, the five from Hogwarts returned to the castle and their interrupted Christmas activities. Seemingly by unspoken agreement, all of the adults said not one word about the events that had led to Shaun's breakdown and subsequent panicked flight so the rest of the holidays passed calmly and uneventfully. It was only two days before the return of the students before Severus gathered up enough courage to set Shaun down and try to explain about the hideous black mark that was branded into his arm and into his very soul.

Severus had talked to Shaun many times over the years about what had happened to his Mum and Daddy James, so it was only a little more explanation about the Dark Lord who was so evil. Severus was even somewhat grateful that Albus, Remus and Sirius had all tried over the years to explain what his life had been like before he had come back to confess to Albus.

Albus had talked to Shaun about how his Daddy's father had died when he was little and his Uncle took over the house. Daddy's uncle hadn't beaten and abused him like Shaun's had, but he hadn't loved him and he had punished him all the time and made his Grandmother Snape afraid to show his Daddy much love. Shaun had been young enough and the memories of the Dursleys treatment still stark enough in his mind that he could well relate with being unloved and punished, so Shaun had understood the implications much better than any other child might have. Albus had assured Shaun many times over the years that Severus loved Shaun very much and that before Shaun showed up, Severus hadn't had anybody to love him.

Remus and Sirius had talked with the boy a few times over the years about their own school years and why Shaun's daddy didn't really like them very much when they had first moved into the castle. As their relationship with Shaun had grown, they had each finally made their peace and that had been shared with Shaun, as much as he could understand. So Severus knew that Shaun knew a lot of the history he was going to have to explain to him.

"When I was in school, I wasn't very well liked by the other students and I had a hard time. My Uncle wanted me to follow the Dark Lord, the very evil wizard that killed your Mum and Daddy James. He told me he would hurt my mother if I didn't join that wizard. I believed him and I still believe he would have hurt her if I didn't join. The only ones at school that would talk to me and help me when I had trouble were all followers of the Dark Lord. And so when I was sixteen and still in school, I joined, that's when that dark brand was put on my arm. I didn't know what being a follower was really like, but once you are marked, you can't stop or the Dark Lord or his followers will kill you. Do you understand so far?"

Shaun snuggled down against his father's side and thought for a minute before nodding. Severus was hunched down, twiddling his hands idly as he gazed into the blazing fire, uncomfortable with looking at his son's still innocent face as he told the story of the darkest days in his life. He reached for his tea and took a big swallow, stalling as he tried to find the words to continue. "It didn't take very long for me to know that I didn't want to be a follower and in fact I wanted nothing more than for the Dark Lord to be gone and leave everyone alone. But I couldn't leave, I had the mark. So I came one day to your Grandpa Albus and turned myself in so that I didn't have to go to jail by myself. But he asked me if I would help in the fight against the Dark Lord, if I would keep going to meetings but then tell Grandpa Albus all the information that I found out so that the aurors and others could be ready to fight better and save people." He sipped his now cold tea and made a face before putting it down on the low table in front of them.

Shaun looked up at his daddy and said, "That's what a spy is? So they didn't know you were really fighting to help people like Mum and Daddy James?"

"Yes, that's right. And then I found out the Dark Lord was going to kill your parents and I tried to warn them but I couldn't get away in time without being caught. I was too late…," his voice dropped to a soft whisper that cracked with emotion. "I'm so sorry; Shaun, but I couldn't stop them."

Small arms reached around his waist as his son hugged him around the middle. "I know you did your very best Daddy, just like you tell me. All I can do is my very best." His sons loving acceptance of his dark past and his total failure at saving the Potters threatened to burst a dam inside the stern man that only his strongest Occlumency barriers kept from exploding.

The two sat in companionable silence for several long minutes before Severus turned and kissed the soft head leaned against his chest. "Do you understand now Shaun?" Shaun looked up at his father, love and trust apparent in his small face.

Severus managed a weak smile as he heated up his tea and took another drink. "So do you have any questions for me?"

Shaun's face scrunched up as he thought seriously for a moment. "Daddy…where do babies come from?"

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AN: I am requesting help on the next chapter. Give me your best four or five paragraphs on 'the talk' and I will use it and give full credit to the writer. I have of course done this with all four of my children plus numerous health classes over the years, but I am interested in your ideas. Thanks for continuing to read and review.