LATE THE NEXT MORNING - TOMMY
I wake up slowly, sucking in a breath when I move slightly and realize that I ache everywhere. Not to mention that I feel strange in general - almost like my body isn't mine and I have to get used to it. Remembering what happened yesterday, I'm afraid to open my eyes. What if I haven't gotten my vision back? I can hear Zedd breathing in his sleep next to me and I'm thankful that I can hear again at the very least. I shift slightly again and frown. It feels like - I'm not wearing anything. Not my preferred way to sleep, but it seems to be happening more and more often lately and so long as Zedd is the one that helped me get undressed I suppose there's no real harm in it. Realizing that's probably what happened due to my lack of being able to do much of anything but wither in pain last night, it's unsurprising that Zedd would have eventually taken me back to our room and put me to bed, figuring the hassle of redressing me for bed wasn't needed. Right - so good, mystery solved. Now if I could just work up the nerve to find out if he'll be needed to redress me this morning or if I can actually see my clothes again I'll be good.
Come on, Tommy. Quit putting it off, you big chicken. I take a breath and open my eyes slowly, heaving a small sigh of relief as the dim room comes into focus. What time is it? Hell, what day is it? Zedd shifts in the bed beside me, drawing my attention. My eyes widen as I study my mate. He looks a little different, but I can't figure out why. Almost as if he's - sharper, I guess. My gaze is drawn to his now bare shoulder and the obvious bite marks there.
I sit up quickly, ignoring my body's protests at moving so quickly and pull the covers off of him. Oh my god - he has bites and scratches and bruises all over. What have I done this time? I think hard, but come up with all of nothing, as the last thing I remember is telling Dar and Pina to get Zedd out of the infirmary and the shakes and racing heart starting right after. Or was it right before?
Lightly, I touch his chest. I've hurt him again - something I swore I wouldn't do after the whole evil thing. What kind of person am I that I keep hurting my mate? I mean, I did do this, right? Unsure what makes me do it, I lean over and sniff him. There's his smell - which is more clear than it's ever been - and another, which is vaguely familiar but I can't place it. "Oh, Zedd. What the hell have I done to you this time?"
I'm startled when he speaks just as softly as I did. "Made good on your intention when you were first evil - making sure I don't leave this room until I'm completely and thoroughly sated."
"I- what?" I do remember saying that, even though it seems like forever ago. He rests his hand on mine, lacing our fingers together.
"You remember that Pina said that you were evolving?" I nod, keeping my eyes on our hands.
"I just assumed that she meant so that I could hold the powers without getting sick like Jason did when he held Trey's powers."
"Partly," he agrees. "But it's even more than that. Pina will have to do another scan to be sure, but she thinks that the powers have altered you even further. If she's right, they've altered you to a half breed - half human and half Phadosian."
"What?" I'm becoming less me by the day! No wonder it feels like my body isn't mine - because it isn't, not any more.
Apparently sensing my distress, he sits up and pulls me into his arms. "It's all right, love. Everything will be okay. If she's right you should be almost done with the changes now which means no more painful episodes and headaches."
"I don't care about that!"
Looking confused he shakes his head slowly. "Then what's got you so upset, love?"
"What's got me so upset?" Is he serious?! "How? How is this anywhere remotely close to being a good thing, Zedd?" I demand. "I'm not me anymore! Even you said that you didn't need me to change - that you loved me the way I was!"
"I don't love you any less now, Thomas. You were right when you said that the changes were a good thing. It's what you wanted - for us to be more equal, remember?"
"Not like this! I want us to be equal but I still wanted to be me and now I'm not!"
"Thomas, love - you are still you. Your personality won't have changed. This little upset you're having proves that much." I'm not amused. "Who you are inside hasn't changed and that's what I love."
"But I don't feel like me" I argue weakly.
Looking thoughtful for a moment he nods before urging me up and walking us over to closet, the bed comforter still wrapped around us. Opening the door and revealing a floor length mirror mounted on the inside he urges me out of the covers and into the slightly chilly air of the room. "Look love, see you're still you. Still the same height, still the same eyes, your hair is a bit messy but that's sort of be to expected given how many times I had to tug on it to get you to eventually unhinge your jaw from my neck…not that that wasn't really fun." Laughing and getting a distant look in his eyes he shakes his head, "Really, really, really fun…what was I saying again?"
Snorting, I turn back to him and miserably I trace some scratches on his chest. "You were trying to make me feel better about not being me anymore even though I am still me apparently."
"Oh right, yes, you are still you and I love you, all of you. So now why are you still upset?"
"I've hurt you - again. I promised you I wouldn't do that anymore."
"They're superficial, Thomas and will heal quickly. And believe me, I had a lot more fun collecting these than the ones you gave me when you were evil. You're more than forgiven, if that helps at all."
"A little." I still feel bad, though. I sigh. "Let me see how bad it all is."
"No. You're just going to mope and I won't have it." He kisses me soundly. "I'm going to tell you a little secret. I have never been so completely satisfied in my entire life. You could ask me to take you right now and I don't think that I could because I'm so spent. So believe me a few marks and aches are well worth it once in a while."
And now I'm depressed and disappointed for a whole new reason. "Aw man. And I don't remember any of it! That sucks! How can I have done all that and not remember a thing?"
"Because you've become part Phadosian, you went through what Pina went through. She calls it 'the drive'."
"Wonderful." Another thought crosses my mind. "Wait - I'm half Phadosian now?"
"She thinks so, yes. Why?"
"What's the average life span of a Phadosian?" I ask.
"About the same as an Eltarian or Triforian I think, well not including Dulcea. She actually seems to be about as close to what you might call an immortal as there is. Of course I think that's more due to the temple ruins or some such thing."
I suck in a breath. "So that means that I'll probably live about as long as you now."
"Um - let me think." I wait impatiently as he thinks this over. "Well, yes, Thomas. I do believe you will."
I sag against him. "Well that's one less thing to worry about."
"Hmm," he agrees before backing us back to the bed and dropping down onto it. "We should probably get up and get a real meal."
"How long have I been out of my mind?"
He rolls his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic." At my look he heaves a sigh. "Everything started yesterday, so only overnight really."
"That's something, I guess, that it was short lived."
He kisses me once more and releases me. "I don't know - I could have probably gone one more round before you finally passed out. Come on, let's get dressed."
I nod, but wait until he gets up before I move. Once he discards the bed covers I can see the further marks marring his back. Thanks to his remarks about them, I have mixed feelings about it. At least it was good for him in spite of the - violence. As I get up, I remember him saying that he liked it rough sometimes and that he didn't mind me being forceful when I was evil - he just didn't like the evil. I just wish I could remember! I mean I know it's not like I probably did anything we haven't already done but- wait. "Zedd, um, did we…I mean I ache all over, so is that from the changes the powers are causing or did you actually…"
"I didn't take you if that's what you're asking, Thomas. I thought you might have a desire to be taken, so I did get something from Pina just in case, but you were more focused on breeding I think and never actually submitted to me or moved in a way that signaled you wanted me to be the aggressor." Well that's something I guess. At least if I can't recall what happened, I didn't miss something new.
"Good." At his slightly confused look I elaborate slightly. "I'd want to remember the first time you take me, Zedd and as aggravating as it is that I can't recall what happened last night, at least I didn't miss out on remembering that."
"Ah, then yes I'm glad too."
"I need a quick shower" I tell Zedd. "And I'm sure you do too."
"We could take one together" he suggests.
I suppress my smirk at the expected statement. "And then it'll take about ten times longer than it needs to - especially if neither one of us is up for more than a quick wash. Maybe tonight." I quickly grab my clothes. At the bathroom door, I pause. "By the way, um, has anybody touched you but me?"
Puzzled, he responds, "Dar did when he tried to get me to leave the infirmary yesterday. Why?"
I blink in surprise. "Then - that's my smell on you?"
Looking highly amused now, he shakes his head. "Who else's did you think it would be?"
"I don't know, but I didn't recognize it. I mean, it was a little familiar, but-"
"Odds are, your sense of smell has been slightly enhanced. You'd probably never have noticed it before. Plus since your genetics have changed, that would have altered it slightly as well. I can assure you though Thomas you are the only one who had me last night."
"Good."
Thirty minutes later, we're in the kitchen and Dar is just starting lunch. "Back with us now, brat?" he greets me.
"Yeah, jerk. What's it to you?" I grin at him.
He heaves a dramatic sigh. "Personally, I couldn't care less, but you know, it distracts everybody else. You need more attention than a new hondjie."
"A what now?" I ask, confused.
"It's an Eltarian pet, similar to a puppy on Earth, except they need lots of attention - as in almost constant. He's just giving you a hard time - kind of like Jason does" Zedd says.
"Oh." This I understand. Wow, we might actually be becoming friends after all.
"By the way, brat. I was thinking and it occurred to me that dinner came together rather quickly when you helped me the other night. If you help me every day after your lessons, you can work a little longer and then we can fix the meal together. Besides you need something to do until you recover fully, tired of you getting a free ride around here."
"I'd like that. Back on Earth, I didn't really cook often since I was living alone." And cooking would be a good middle ground to build a friendship on.
"You'll pick it up fast enough, and until you do I'd wager you're intelligent enough to stir things and follow a recipe" Dar states, again surprising me at the almost compliment.
"Who can follow a recipe? Zedd? I'm slightly doubtful of that." Pina comes in and sees me. "How are you doing, Tommy?"
"Still getting used to everything, and no not Zedd, me. Goldar thinks I might be useful in the kitchen for a while."
Looking a bit surprised herself, but also pleased she gives a nod. "Sounds like a good idea. Dar, how much time until lunch is ready?" she asks.
"About half an hour. Why?"
"Come on, Tommy. I need to do some scans and a few other tests so that we can tell if your transformation is complete or not, not to mention that I need to update my files on you. It won't take long."
I sigh and follow her to the infirmary. I try to be patient as she does a quick scan and then a detailed one and then draws some blood and then does a basic exam. When she finally seems to be finished, I ask, "So?"
"You're as close to a half breed as you can be without having been born that way" she answers.
"Okay, so what does that mean? What all has changed? Am I going to have to go through the drive thing again? Will I remember it next time?"
"Yes, you'll go through it again. Since you're currently more Phadosian than I am, you'll go through it more often than I would, if the right factors are in place. Even so, you shouldn't go through it again for quite a long time. You'll actually remember this time in another day or so. Your brain has to translate the animal experience into something that your intelligence can understand."
"I am more than a little curious about what all happened. Zedd looks like hell because of what I did. Not to mention I feel a bit like hell too right now. Your exam and blood work aside, I still ache all over."
She waves this away. "He'll heal quickly enough. By tonight, there will be very few marks on him. As far as other changes are concerned and you still hurting a bit that's normal. You look the same on the outside but there have been internal alterations. All of your senses have been heightened slightly, which is what happened yesterday when your sight and hearing were temporarily failing, it was to give the changes time to work properly. Your sense of smell and taste, how things feel, these should have been heightened as well. You probably haven't noticed all of those changes yet though." Recalling how Zedd smelled this morning, I give a silent nod and let her continue. "Your body is sturdier and can take more damage now. You'll be quicker and stronger due to your muscles and bones being enhanced, this is most likely were the aches are coming into play right now. You've also altered slightly to benefit you with having a male mate. Also, your memory and-"
"Wait a minute! Back up. What do you mean I've been altered because of having a male mate?" Okay I know she just did a physical exam and I did take a fast shower, but I definitely didn't notice any changes to my reproductive parts.
"I said that it would benefit you not that it was because of it."
"What exactly do you mean by that?"
She bites her lip. "You'll, um, self-lubricate - like Zedd and Goldar do."
I can feel my mouth fall open. It takes nearly a full minute for what she's saying to fully sink in. "Really?"
She nods. "The scans show that you now have the necessary glands that Phadosian and Eltarian males do."
"But Goldar's not with another male, he's with you."
Sighing she shakes her head. "As I said it's not a result of you having a male mate, it's a genetic factor in the species, despite who they mate with or how they mate. Dar is Eltarian the same as Zedd and despite me not being able to take him, he was still born the same as all Eltarian males and can still become internally prepared when aroused. Now, as I was saying, your memory and intelligence have also been changed and - unlike a normal human - you'll be able to use more of your brain capacity and much more effectively, I'm just not sure by how much yet, especially since you're still recovering, but my scan did show a heightened activity level in your neurological process."
I'm not really listening. I mean, I'm hearing her, but I'm focused on what she's told me. This means that we don't have to wait if we don't want to. I shift slightly and the small ache in my muscles reminds me that we will have to wait, but not because of that. I think that Pina realizes I'm not paying attention when she says, "Maybe we should finish this discussion another time. Perhaps when you're not distracted by thoughts of mating?" I can't help but blush at her directness.
"I'm sorry, I'm trying to focus it's just…sorry, it's a lot to take in."
"I know, but I think you won't get the full benefit of what I'm explaining until you can focus a bit more. Once you adjust to the different hormones and levels of hormones in your system, it won't constantly be on your mind - hopefully by tomorrow when all the changes have settled."
"All right."
We head back to the kitchen to join up with our mates. Zedd raises an eyebrow. "Well, is everything all right?"
Pina's answer is amused. "He got a little distracted when I was telling him about the changes in him and we decided to finish the conversation another time."
"Oh? Anything serious?" I can hear the concern in his voice.
"No. Just – surprising," I tell him. "We'll talk about it later. Let's eat lunch and then we all need to see about getting some work done."
After lunch and cleanup, I follow Dar to his office. I've been getting lost in thought about what Pina's told me since I first understood what she was telling me. On the one hand it's somewhat pleasing to know I'm almost on level with Zedd now, on the other it's still also a bit unnerving. I still don't like the idea that I'm not exactly myself anymore and the internal changes that Pina told me about have got a new thought on my mind as well. Recalling how Zedd had been rubbing my thigh under the table, teasing mostly while we ate, and how I'd been into it enough to want to suggest a trip back to our room, it was only then that I realize that there might be an embarrassing situation if I didn't get him to stop. Dar gets my attention with a sharp, "Brat!"
"Sorry, Dar. I was lost in thought."
"I saw, what's on your mind now that has you looking so upset again?"
"I'm not upset." Caving slightly at his look, I continue with a sigh. "I'm not really upset, just…concerned. I'm just trying to take in all Pina told me about how I changed that's all."
"What about it?"
Definitely not about to discuss my concerns with him where any of my sexual alterations come into play, on good terms or not, I finally try to go with the safest option. "I don't know, it's just weird. I don't really feel like me anymore, even though I still look the same. I feel different, physically."
"You are different physically, to a degree. You don't look it, but I'm sure Pina told you your internal structures should be closer to ours now." Yeah, speaking of that sort of thing…
"Yeah, she did."
"You're not saying something." Looking thoughtful and suspicious, he stares at me hard for a long minute - almost the same way Zedd does when I block him and he wants to know what's wrong. "What part of this is actually got you so agitated? Is this something Zedd related?"
Looking back the computer in front of me, definitely not wanting to have this conversation any longer I shake my head. "Not everything has to do with Zedd."
"No, but by your look and answer, this does. It wouldn't be about your looks, since those aren't changed. You have your vision and hearing back, so no problems there. Your skeletal structure should be stronger, which is a benefit. Eltarian and Phadosians don't really have any extra organs that humans wouldn't have- you twitched, why did you twitch." Geez no wonder Zedd lets him conduct his business! Noticing some barely given twitch at the mention of internal organs, he looks all the more determined now.
"You're imagining things. I think I need to get back to work."
"This is about mating." Seriously?! "It is." Nodding in a certain and somewhat satisfied way now, I may have to kill him. "Is this about Zedd taking you?" At my stunned expression he says something I never would have expected. "Pina said Zedd asked her for something to use for it. I wasn't aware humans didn't have all of the necessary glands we do for breeding and mating."
"I am not having this conversation."
Completely ignoring my statement he continues, "You should have them now though I'd think. She said you were closer to Phadosian, but they're designed pretty much how we are."
"Seriously not having this conversation."
"So if you have them now and are still concerned-"
"What part of not having this conversation are you not getting?"
"Then your concern must rest in the fact that you are now designed like that." I may have to kill him and then myself at this point. Studying me closely again, he seems to be thinking things over before finishing up his analysis. "You embarrass easily for a Ranger and very easily for someone bonded to Zedd of all people." Right he thinks I'm embarrassed now, what happens when Zedd decides to get me all worked up in public and I end up looking like I sat in a puddle.
"I really, really, really don't want to talk about this."
"Fine, but you know Zedd will really, really, really drag it out of you eventually." No he won't because I already have a plan. All I have to do is very tactfully find out how he keeps from somehow getting wet when excited and bam, there's my fix.
"We'll see. So what exactly were you saying before you started psychoanalyzing me?"
He sighs no doubt smelling the subject change for what it is, but at least going with it for now. "I said, what do you think you'd like to do once you don't need these lessons anymore?"
I shrug. "I liked researching and experimenting. Unfortunately, that's what led to the whole Mesogog mess on Earth."
"How?" I explain about my research and Anton's abuse of my work. "Well, something like that certainly wouldn't happen here and you could take it up again if you wanted to."
"I'll think about it." I settle in to work and find that things are coming back even faster than before. Pina said that the changes would affect how my brain worked, but I didn't expect this. A stray thought stills my hands. What if the spell wasn't just keeping me from healing properly? What if it was actually diminishing my abilities - preventing me from, well, being all I could be?
"You all right, Tommy? You're not wearing your glasses again."
"I'm fine. I don't need them."
"Zedd will be disappointed" he teases. "How are your lessons going?"
"I'm done."
"For today you mean?"
"No, I mean I'm done. I've finished them."
"Oh really?" He paws through the papers on his desk for a minute before he extracts a sheet. "All right, then. Read this."
"Out loud?"
"It would help me make a better assessment, but if you're self-conscious you don't have to. Just read it and tell me what it says."
I read it through, having to work at some of the longer words. Finally, I tell him, "It's a contract between you and someone on Triforia. I think what they're after is some kind of gem or jewel. I'm not really sure what that word is."
I point it out to him and he looks surprised. "Actually, it's a special metal that's only found on a planet that Triforia is enemies with, but that's close enough. Good job. I bet you can't wait to tell Zedd."
"Oh, I'm not going to tell him yet."
"Why not?"
I grin at his puzzlement. "Because if he knows that I've gotten my native language back, he's going to wonder what I'm doing in here with you every day. Remember, I wanted to learn Eltarian next."
He grins back. "Want to start now? The program came just yesterday."
"Definitely. I could use the challenge." I consider something else that he'd said. "Do you really think that Zedd will be disappointed that I don't need my glasses anymore?"
"He said he wanted to see you in them, remember?"
I think about this as he hands me the program. "Well, if we can find a way to replace the prescription lenses with plain glass, I could wear them for him once in a while, I guess."
"Give them here and I'll see what I can do."
"Thanks, Dar." Yeah, we've definitely started a friendship if he's going to help me basically seduce his best friend.
