AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a continuation of my fic Yaoi. You can still read this as a separate story and have it make sense, but it's sooo much funnier if you've read the first one! I was going to put this as a second chapter...but decided it did better as a stand-alone one shot! Okay, on with the show!


Gojyo sat backward in his chair, glaring at the table. Goku sat across from him, doing the same. Neither of them wanted to talk to each other and any time one would glance up to see if the other was looking, they'd quickly look away again.

Finally, Gojyo pushed his hair back and said, "It's your fault, all of it!"

"Uh-uh! No WAY you're blamin' this one on me," Goku shot back, picking his head up off the table.

"It is SO your fault! You were the one asking questions-,"

"And you were the one to answer them!"

They glared for the space of a few seconds then looked away again.

"Maybe we should blame this on Hakkai," Gojyo suggested. The person now being blamed wasn't in the room currently to refute that statement. He and Sanzo had left very shortly after...The Thing.

Goku instantly perked right up. "Yeah, it's his fault cuz he never knocks before entering!"

"Yeah, that's about right."

"Yeah."


FLASHBACK TO WHAT STARTED THIS ODD CONVERSATION...

It had been pouring like hell when they arrived to the town. The only people out were the fishermen getting ready for a big catch in the rain. Sanzo and Hakkai were as usual sulking. Gojyo and Goku were as usual dealing with it.

"How can I help you?" the boy at the counter asked as they trudged puddles and mud on the floor.

"Four rooms," Sanzo said sharply.

"We don't actually have four rooms available, sir," the boy continued pleasantly.

"Then tell your mother to stop whoring for one night and make room," Sanzo snarled.

The boy's eyes went wide and he looked about ready to cry.

"Damn it, Sanzo, you didn't have to go that far," Gojyo lashed out.

A soft click of a safety going off was the only answer he got. And it was more than efficient to keep his mouth shut.

"How many rooms do you have exactly?" Hakkai asked. While he didn't look to be in the mood to deal with this, at least he was polite about it.

"I-I have two," the boy stammered, eyes still all shimmery.

"Fine. Hakkai's with me."

"But, Sanzo, I don't wanna share a room with Gojyo! He talks in his sleep," Goku complained.

"And you fart in yours," Gojyo shouted back.

"SHUT UP OR DIE!"

That was one way to end an argument. Normally, the two would have kept bickering anyway, but they knew better than to push Sanzo on a rainy day. They also knew he was an expert shot and that they couldn't outrun a bullet whizzing for their heads.

The boy quickly threw two keys on the counter and ran away, sniffling. Sanzo snatched one and Hakkai followed him silently up the stairs.

Gojyo and Goku both exchanged glances and then dove for the key.

"It's mine! I got it first," Goku shouted.

"I'm older and therefore more responsible! Gimme the key," Gojyo ground out through clenched teeth.

"NO WAY! LEMME GO! OWOWOWOW!"

Gojyo got him in a headlock and was pummeling him in the kidneys. Not too hard, he didn't really want to kill the kid, but it was hard enough to make Goku forget about the key and try to get free. Once the key hit the floor, Gojyo snatched it and sprinted for the stairs, laughing as Goku tried to make up ground. He got to the room first and began fumbling for the lock.

Goku slammed into him, driving him to the ground and making a grab for the key. "Come on, Gojyo, I got it first and you know it!"

"Kiss my tight white ass!"

Both let out rather high pitched squeals at the gun going off, the bullet sinking into the floor not even a half inch from their head and still smoking.

Sanzo stood over them, robe tied down around his waist and practically foaming at the mouth. "I swear to God, if you open your mouths at all tonight, I'll do worse than kill you," he bit out sharply, eyes twitching angrily.

"O-okay," Gojyo stuttered, backing away from the pissed off monk. The gun stayed trained on them as they opened their door and went in.

The last thing Sanzo said before lowering the gun was, "And they wonder why people think we're gay."

Gojyo and Goku had heard him, but with the current angst, they weren't going to argue it yet. Instead, they held a private bitch session in their room.

"Can you believe that prick? 'They wonder why people think we're gay'. It couldn't be because His Holiness looks like a porno mag pinup in his leather," Gojyo railed, keeping his voice low.

"Yeah, plus, I don't even like men," Goku added, flopping onto one of the beds.

"You don't like women either," Gojyo remarked. He pulled out his cigarettes and lit one, inhaling and letting it out slowly.

"Who says I don't?" Goku shouted.

"Keep it down, stupid ape! You really wanna get shot at AGAIN tonight?" Gojyo hissed, glancing at the wall separating the two rooms. It looked thick enough...maybe it could stop a bullet. He didn't want to really test that theory though.

"Well, I never said I didn't like girls! I like tons of girls!"

"Oh, really? Name one."

"Um...uh, there was that one...wait, she was kinda weird. Okay, how about...no, I dunno her name..."

Gojyo grinned, laying out on his bed. "Just as I thought. I bet you've never even kissed a girl before!"

"Well how could I? I live in a friggin temple, and they don't have girl monks," Goku pouted. He was quiet for a moment while Gojyo chuckled. Then, he asked, "Hey, Gojyo?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever...?"

Gojyo arched a brow and gave the kid a long look. "What, you thought all this time I was some good little virgin playing jump rope and hopscotch with the girls? You really are a fucking idiot!"

"No, that's not what I meant!"

"Then say what you mean and don't imply what you don't mean," he snapped.

"Huh?"

He sighed and rolled over on his side. "Never mind, it was too complex a sentence for your iddy little monkey brain. Just spill it already."

"Have you ever done it...with a guy?"

Gojyo sat up and threw his pillow at Goku. "What the hell is your problem? As if I would let another guy stick his dick in me!"

Goku looked away, embarassed.

"Okay, so there was that one time when I was really, really drunk, but I was doing the fucking, not him!"

Goku grinned wickedly. "Pervy water sprite! I knew you loved men!"

"Hey, I don't love men...I only like them. I love the ladies," Gojyo lay back down, closing his eyes. "Besides, can I help it if some dudes are prettier than the women with them?"

"So...what's it like?" Goku asked softly.

Gojyo sat up again, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "Huh?"

"What's it like...with a guy?"

"Why do you wanna know?"

"I'm just curious and you're the only one I know who knows! So, tell me!"

Gojyo snorted and tossed his hair. "I can't really explain it. You'll just have to figure it out on your own, dumb ass!"

Goku tucked his knees up under his chin and looked away glumly.

Sighing, Gojyo stood up and went to sit next to him. "Okay, you really wanna know?"

Smiling again, Goku turned to face him with his legs crossed and nodded eagerly.

"The first thing you need to understand is that you don't kiss a dude the same way you kiss a chick," Gojyo explained.

"You don't? How come?" Goku asked, brow furrowed in confusion.

"You just don't, okay? Women's mouths are soft. Guys have soft lips but they don't have soft mouths. So, no kissing like he's a barmaid."

"Okay. But...well...I've never..."

Gojyo smacked himself in the head. "You've never even kissed a girl, have you?"

"Uh-uh."

Sighing again, he crooked a finger and motioned Goku closer. "Come on, let's just pop this cherry real quick and get on with it."

Goku looked a little suspicious but he leaned in all the same.

Gojyo held the back of the kid's head with one hand and pressed his lips to Goku's. And then he decided to be a total prick and held him in place so he could jam his tongue down his throat. Goku choked a little, arms flailing wildly as he was caught off balance and went spilling right across Gojyo's lap.

"Hey, the rain's stopped and-oh! Oh, my! Uh...sorry, I didn't...whoa!"

Gojyo yelped and shoved Goku over the other side of the bed, glaring death at the complete shock written all over Hakkai's face. Sanzo was standing right behind him, so surprised his cigarette dropped right out of his mouth, still unlit, and hit the floor, rolling into the room.. It wasn't often the monk was stunned into silence. This was one of those times.

"What the fuck? Can't you even knock, Hakkai?" Gojyo shouted.

"Ow, my head," Goku groaned, sitting up and rubbing his head.

Gojyo covered his eyes when he realized the other two thought he was making a reference to way below the neck and their eyes looked ready to fall from their heads. "We'll just...leave you two alone," Hakkai said slowly, backing out and shutting the door.

"Lock the fucking door next time, morons," Sanzo's voice drifted through the door.

"Hey, does he think we...," Goku began, staring at the door.

"Yeah," Gojyo answered.

"Oh, shit! He's never gonna let me sleep in his room again!"

"Probably not."

"You don't think Hakkai thinks...?"

Gojyo shook his head and got off the bed, picking up Sanzo's cigarette and lighting it. "He thinks so now."

Goku flopped back onto the floor and groaned. "This is all your fault!"

"MY fault! Like hell!"