AUTHOR'S NOTE: Okay, there's a reference to DSL in here. Since this is pretty dirty and full of the F-bomb as it is, I decided to take it easy on SOME of the details. If you don't know what it means and really, really REALLY want to know, email me and I'll give you a crash course. But, since this is Sha Gojyo's POV, you can expect it to be pretty raunchy...

Also, this is another one in the whole Yaoi series. It takes place after Experimentation, which, to sum it up in case you haven't read it, ends with Gojyo and Goku kissing...but NOT for the reason you think! I didn't add this as a chapter because, again, it makes for a seriously hilarious stand alone. I'm STILL laughing my ass off over this one!


Gojyo jammed his hands in his pockets, shoving his shoulder into the door and out of the inn. Goddamn fucking Hakkai! Dumb fucker, with his stupid smile and his stupid looks! He'd expected it out of Sanzo after that one little misunderstanding, but Hakkai? He was the gayest out of all of them combined, and HE was giving Gojyo the weird looks? Fuck that! He pulled his cigarettes out, lit one and blew an angry stream into the chill night air. So, he got caught giving Goku his version of the birds and the bees. So what? He didn't need Hakkai acting like some fucking psychiatrist. Asking all those lame-ass questions and offering to listen if he was having problems. How many different ways did he have to say it? Sha Gojyo was STRAIGHT!

So, how to prove it to that smarmy bastard? If he brought back four (or five, depending on what the market looked like) women to the inn and slept with them all, Hakkai would only say he was overcompensating and should really just learn to accept himself. Maybe only one or two women...yeah, that way he was proving an interest without looking desperate. He could always find four (or five) women in the next town. He glanced up and down the road for a bar, a corner, some place with shady lighting...and found the perfect place to go! The local strip club. Sweet!

Gojyo went over, smiling a greeting to the big guy sitting by the door. He loved making fun of the bouncers, looking all badass in their leather and tattoos. Sorry, any guy who has "mother" tattooed on their arm is either a wimp or has a thing for mommy's lovin'! Either way, he was gonna get his ass kicked in a fight. He walked in, stamping the mud off his boots and looked around. The place was a decent size, not too crowded but not dead either. Three chicks were on stage, and only one was worthy of his attention. Big round ass, long dark hair. Yeah, definately had DSL going on, too. She was the lucky lady tonight.

He took a seat on her side of the stage, slouching back with his legs out before him, slightly apart. He caught her eye, gave her his best smile and winked. She smiled back and twirled to show off that hot ass of hers. Pulling out the wad of cash from his front pocket, he made sure to flash enough of it to really get her attention.

The girl caught sight of the green and went on her hands and knees, crawling over to the edge of the stage, breasts pushed together, tongue flicking over her full lips. "Hey, sexy," she purred, eyes watching his cash more than anything else.

"Hey, yourself," Gojyo slipped a bill between her breasts, making damn sure to cop a feel while he was at it.

She laughed and said, "Oo, you're a naughty one, aren't you?"

"Naughtiest bastard in the room, I can guarantee it."

"Is that so?" She stood up again, swinging around the pole, ankles locked around it so that she hung upside down, hair trailing over the stage. He shifted position in his chair to be more accomodating. Holy shit...

"When's your shift done?" he asked, pulling off a few more bills. Just like he thought, she was watching the money. He'd guessed she turned tricks the minute he saw her, and was he ever right.

"After this number," she answered.

"What are you doing later?"

Swinging down from the pole, she lay down, head over the edge of the stage. "You hopefully, baby."

He smiled and nodded. "Good answer." He slipped some more money into her non-existant top and finished watching the show. Hakkai couldn't bother him now about that whole incident, not after tonight! And he'd make damn sure they were both screaming their fucking heads off, just to annoy the bastard for even hinting at such a thing.


Gojyo grunted when Chahna (the stripper) shoved him hard into the door to his room, ripping his shirt out of his pants. Oh, yeah, a real fiesty one! He could tell this was gonna be one hell of a lay. He fumbled behind his back for the door knob, twisting it and stumbling into the room. It was dark and he couldn't see, so they ended up tripping over the corner of the table, the rug and finally his unmade bed before landing on it. His hands moved up her back to her bra, mouth going lower on her neck. SO hot, so fucking hot...He could hear Hakkai toss in his bed next door and put a little more effort into his moaning.

Her hands were on the zipper to his jeans, mouth along his belly, doing things to his stomach alone that almost made him come. Chahna smiled when she noticed that and did it again.

"Are you just gonna tease all night, or get to work?" he asked. Not that he really cared either way...

"I'm getting there," she answered.

Gojyo pulled her back up. He just had to kiss those lips again before they were busy elsewhere. He kissed her hard, tongue almost down her throat and she moaned, fingers running through his hair. She dipped her lips back down to his throat, working lower again. Gojyo closed his eyes, hands on her shoulders. "Yeah, that's right...Holy shit, Hakkai!"

The shoulders under his hands froze. "WHAT!" Chahna demanded angrily.

Gojyo opened his eyes wide, suddenly very, very cold inside. Oh. Fucking. Shit. "No, I meant-,"

"You creep! What the hells is your problem, screaming your boyfriend's name? Go screw him if that's what you want!" She straightened her clothes and stormed out, slamming the door to his room.

Gojyo lay awake in bed for hours after that, completely shocked by what had just happened. He had just screamed his best friend's name. During sex. With the best looking chick he'd seen in a LONG time. And Hakkai was right next door and could hear everything. Shit, shit, shit,. SHIT! Maybe he'd gotten lucky (in another way, because the one he REALLY wanted wasn't happening tonight!) and Hakkai hadn't been awake. Yeah, maybe...

Gojyo knew the next morning when Hakkai wouldn't even look at him that he hadn't gotten lucky at all last night. In anyway whatsoever. This was gonna be one awkward car ride.