They were the only two left in the common room at the table, both just barely able to hold onto their drinks. The crowd was cheering them on, shouting things and placing bets. Hakkai had decided not to join in this time, seeing as he would easily win. Goku was too young to. Those two were now in the room, either asleep or waiting to play clean up crew. Gojyo and Sanzo were drinking against each other, the red head having made some comment about monks and alcohol and the blonde responding in challenge. And from the glassy, drunken glares they were giving each other, neither one was prepared to back down.

Sanzo managed a sneering curl of lip, the usually arrogant expression ruined by the fact he was swaying in his chair slightly. "Stupid fucking kappa," he slurred, keeping one hand on the table to steady himself, the other holding the shot glass. There was a row of ten lined up upside down on the table next to him. "Just give up already!"

"No chance, purddy boy," Gojyo replied in an overly loud voice, arm swinging in a violent gesture that almost took ou the girls crowded around him.

"S'no way in hell I'm gonna give up!" Sanzo slapped away the hand reaching for his shoulder. Stupid women! Always trying to get in his pants! He was a MONK, not a man-slut!

"So? Put yer mouth where yer...no, wait...put yer...aw, fuck it, just drink already!" Gojyo downed his shot, burped, and flipped it upside down.

"Didn't I just say you were stupid? Can't even 'member a stupid quote!" He downed his shot, and very carefully turned his shot glass upside down, glaring at the bartender. "Another round!"

The bartender looked very frightened. He was holding an empty bottle of vodka like it was his security blanket. "Sirs...we, uh...actually I can't...serve you anymore...you see, uh, you're way above the legal limits and..."

Gojyo gave Sanzo a confused look, squinting to try and make the room stand still. "Whazz he sayin'?" he asked, The monk would know. He spoke monkey fluently. The thought of speaking monkey made him crack up, slapping his thigh.

"Dunno what he's saying," Sanzo muttered, head propped on one hand and eyes closed. People screamed as he reached into his robe and waved his gun around in the general direction of the bartender. "I can shut him up, though. Voice is annoying. Almost as bad as Goku's."

"Now, Sanzo, you really shouldn't be threatening the nice bartender with a gun," Hakkai's soothing voice cut in.

Gojyo leered up at him, falling back heavily in his chair. "Hey, it's our mommy! Whaddya want, Kai?"

Hakkai frowned at the rather insulting nickname Gojyo had assigned to him, but ignored it. They were drunk...again. They weren't accountable for half the things they said. And it wasn't as if this were the first time they'd refered to him as their "mother".

Sanzo actually snickered at the joke. "Fuck off, Hakkai! We're just tryin' to buy one more round."

"I think you two have had enough for one night," he said firmly, deftly plucking the gun from Sanzo's hand before a very bad accident happened.

A big mistake. Sanzo swung with surprisingly good aim for someone in his condition and punched Hakkai square in the jaw, teeth clenched and eyes glaring with something very close to hatred. Hakkai fell back a couple steps, fingering the split lip, hand coming away with a little blood. His eyes went cold and he could feel the rage screaming to be let out. He needed to calm down. Yes, calm down...they were drunk and stupid right now. He didn't need to be angry...

"Hey, Kai, why don'tcha go keep Goku company? Bet you two wanna get some time alone, huh?" Gojyo hollered, head rolling back against his chair.

One, two, three, four...Hakkai began to count slowly in his head. Just drunk...he didn't need to get angry over something so silly.

Sanzo flopped back down in his chair, glaring at the empty shot glasses. Then, with reflexes almost as quick as a youkai's he snatched one and flung it across the room angrily. It shattered into a million glittering pieces against the back of the bar. People were running from the inn in a panic. "What th' hell does a guy have to do to get a fucking drink?" he shouted at the bartender.

"Y-Yessir! Right away!" The bartender started to run behind his bar.

"No, they're done," Hakkai said sharply.

Violet and crimson eyes turned on him. Gojyo's were nearly lost in the bloodshot whites. It was a little eerie how his eyes seemed to be made entirely of blood. "Don't go tellin' me...oh, shit..." Gojyo leaned over the side of his chair and puked all over the floor.

Sanzo's smirk quickly turned to one of horror as he turned and joined Gojyo. He fell off his chair onto the floor, barely missing his own vomit and lay still, clutching his stomach. "Damned food," he muttered.

Hakkai sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not the food, Sanzo, it's the booze."

"S'not the booze! Never puked once in my-," He cut himself off as he heaved again.

"Now is not the time to make up for that," Hakkai said. Shaking his head, he grabbed first Gojyo's arm and then Sanzo's straining to lift them to their feet. They couldn't stay down here all night, much as he wished they would. The room was small and cramped and didn't need to smell like the inside of a stomach full of alcohol and cheese fries. Turning to the bartender, he offered an apologetic smile. "I'm very sorry about this. If you can wait just a few minutes, I'll-,"

Gojyo shrugged himself away from Hakkai, giving him a disgusted look. "God, I don't like men, Kai! S'just back th' fuck off!"

Hakkai rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Why does everyone think I'm the gay one?" he asked of no one in that room.

"Pro'bly cuz you look all femmy, more like your mommy than your daddy I bet." Sanzo replied sarcastically, swaying and almost falling over on his feet. He was one to talk about looking feminine! And that comment about his parents was out of line. Hakkai was about to reply to that when Gojyo cut in.

"Yeah, plus ya don't even lookit all th' purddy girls! Just cuz your sister-,"

Hakkai didn't remember his fist going back and slamming into Gojyo's jaw. Or again when Sanzo was sprawled across the ground. Hands shaking, taking deep breaths to bring the calm facade back, he stared at the two unconscious men on the floor. That was uncalled for, drunk or not. Gojyo would NEVER say something so cruel if he were sober. And Sanzo NEVER would have made a joke about dead parents. It was while he was pushing those angry thoughts into the little dark corner he reserved for them that a terrible, wicked, almost evil idea popped up. And it would solve the problem of these two ever drinking this much again.

Turning to the bartender with a pleasant smile, he asked, "Do you happen to have a barn I might put them in for tonight?"

The bartender nodded, wide eyed and slack jawed, pointing with a shaky hand out the back door.

"Thank you." Hakkai grabbed Gojyo first, hauling him off by his wrists. Yes, this would work. They were too drunk to remember anything from tonight. He dragged Gojyo into a big pile of loose hay and went back for his other victim, smiling wickedly. If either of the two had been conscious and seen that smile, they would have been running for their lives. Now, he had to do this just right...


The first thing that filtered through Gojyo's head, other than the pounding headache and lack of memory from the night before, was that he was not in his room. He was in the barn. And it was cold. Except for the warm body next to him. He glanced down and...Yep, he was naked alright! Must have been one hell of a night if he ended up out here with a chick. Golden blonde hair tickled his cheek and he smiled, kissing the back of the neck exposed...hmm, she had awfully short hair. No matter, he thought, going hard at the thought of a morning screw. He snuggled in closer to get warm. And froze, eyes wide. That was no woman's ass he was up against.

The person next to him woke, groaning. He knew that voice! Oh, shit...no way he...oh SHIT! Sanzo blinked, picking his head up to look around, puzzled. He looked over his shoulder and his eyes almost fell from his head. "FUCKING HELL! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE!" He was quick to move away, grabbing his robe lying in a puddled heap nearby. In fact, their clothing was scattered all from the entrance to this pile of hay. Like they'd been in a hurry to undress.

Gojyo sat up, knees to his chest, propping his arms on his knees and hiding his face. He, Sha Gojyo, had just fucked a guy. Worse still, it was a monk. Worse than even THAT, it was Sanzo! "Oh, God!"

Sanzo quickly tied his robe in place, slamming his feet into his boots and scooping up the rest of his clothing. "We never speak of this to anyone. And you DO NOT talk to me about it! And if you ever, EVER touch me again, I will break your fucking legs off and jam them in your ass! Got it?"

"Fine by me and ditto," Gojyo muttered. "I think I'm gonna puke!"

"Hmph, I think I need a rabies shot. Gods only know where your dick's been!"

Gojyo for once ignored that, grabbing his shirt and boxers. Never again! He was never gonna drink again! He got up, pulling his tight jeans up and zipping them carefully. Shit, the stupid priest had gotten him hard! He groaned, rubbing his eyes. This was so wrong on so many levels!


Hakkai tried very hard to keep the smile from appearing too overjoyous. Those two...they looked ready to kill themselves. And neither one could look at the other. "So, where did you two disappear to last night?" he asked cheerfully, loading the Jeep with their stuff. Goku yawned from the back seat, blinking sleepily.

"None of you damn business," Sanzo snarled, taking the passenger seat.

"I was out," Gojyo answered, climbing in back.

Hakkai started the Jeep, glad the loud engine hid his chuckle. "Oh, did you have a hot date?" As if he didn't know!

"Shut up and drive," Gojyo groaned, leaning his head back over the side and closing his eyes.

Laughing still, Hakkai shifted the Jeep into gear and drove off. "Sorry, and here I thought you had a good time."