AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the shower scene mentioned in Yaoi? Heehee!
Gojyo banged on the bathroom door again futilely. The shower still ran and the monk still ignored him. "COME ON, YOU DICK! IT'S GONNA BE COLD!"
Hakkai sighed, pulling his tunic over his head and laying it aside. "The more you bang, the longer Sanzo is going to take, Gojyo," he said wearily. He'd already told him that twice now. He really didn't want to say it a fourth time.
"Well, it's not fair! That stupid chimp took up a half hour in there, and now His Royal Asswipe is taking another half hour! I wanna shower BEFORE I eat!"
"I do, too," Hakkai continued in that all-too-patient tone. "But the more you gripe, the more Sanzo is going to ignore you."
Gojyo raked his fingers through his greasy hair, grimacing at the texture. They'd been attacked in the last three towns they'd stopped at and had been forced to leave without showers. That was almost two weeks ago. All of them smelled like some fat guy's asscrack and were grumpy about it. Scowling, he kicked the bathroom door for good measure. Goddamn monk! They'd drawn cards to see who went first. Goku had won (he knew he should have cheated) and was already downstairs eating his food, probably theirs as well. Sanzo had gotten second, followed by Gojyo and then Hakkai.
"Argh! GET YOUR LILY WHITE ASS OUTTA THERE NOW!" Each word was punctuated by another bang on the door.
Hakkai flopped back on one of the two beds in the room, staring at the ceiling. Half of it was blurry to the point of almost being unrecognizable. He'd taken his monocle off already, wrapping it up neatly in the headband he wore to protect it. He HAD been getting ready to jump straight into a nice warm shower...so much for that. Gojyo kept banging on the door, which was slightly more irritating than the idea of frigid water splashing on his body. "Gojyo, please stop that. It's not helping."
"It's not hurting, either! Well, hurting anyone but the prick in the bathroom! SANZOOO!"
The shower stopped. Hakkai sat up eagerly and Gojyo stepped back, fists clenched. They both stared and stared at the door. Ten more minutes later and Sanzo came out, a billow of steam following him. He was wearing his jeans, his robe folded neatly over one arm and a towel draped over his shoulders. And he was smoking, which meant he'd been out of the shower for a little while and had left the water running on purpose. "Fucking kappa, you should have listened to Hakkai," he muttered, pulling the cigarette from his mouth and letting out a stream of smoke from his lips. His hair was still wet but it had been combed out so it didn't dry funny.
"You...you heard? AND YOU STILL STAYED IN THERE?" Gojyo exploded, eye twitching angrily.
"Heard every stupid word, unfortunately. It's a good thing idiocy isn't contagious."
Hakkai frowned, eyes going a little hard. "That was awfully rude, Sanzo. Gojyo wasn't the only one you were screwing over."
Sanzo shrugged. "Complain to him. He's the reason your shower's cold, not me. If he would have left me alone for five minutes to relax, I wouldn't have stayed in so long."
"Relax my ass! You were probably waxing your legs," Gojyo snarled, whipping his shirt over his head and tossing it aside angrily, his belt joining it shortly after. He was almost to the bathroom, slamming his shoulder purposely into Sanzo's on his way by when...
Swoosh...CRACK! Sanzo's wrist flicked out lightening quick and snapped the towel against the middle of Gojyo's back, violet eyes full of sheer malice.
Gojyo jumped and spun around, hands holding the sore spot. "OW! YOU GODDAMN BUDDHIST PRICK! WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR!"
"For being an idiot! There's about two minutes of hot water left, so I suggest stop running your mouth and start running the shower!" He turned his back again, unlacing the sides to his leather shirt so he could get it on.
Gojyo flicked him off behind his back and unbuttoned his jeans. Dumb ass priest! His eyes flickered over to Hakkai and then did a double take. Hakkai looked...really upset. He looked as if someone had just run over his puppy and then thrown the mess into his face before driving away. Hakuryu was curled up on the bed next to him and he was stroking the soft white hide absently, staring at a space on the wall. Gojyo knew him well enough to interpret that trance-like face as him calming down. No, he wasn't upset. Hakkai was PISSED!
The sound of the door shutting after Sanzo made them both look at it. Goddamn priest...if it hadn't been for him trying to be an asshole, Hakkai wouldn't be sitting there all sad and he wouldn't be standing here feeling all guilty. "Shit...Come on, Kai, get up!"
"Huh?" Hakkai blinked, giving him a puzzled face. Hakuryu picked his head up too and cooed.
Gojyo dropped his jeans and peeled his leopard print boxers off to add to the pile of his clothing. "Well? We both need a shower. Besides, it isn't like we haven't had to share a shower before." He was refering to that one cold-as-fuck winter where the pipes had frozen and they'd been forced to taken sponge baths with boiled water.
"Gojyo, are you sure? I mean, it IS your turn after all..."
Rolling his eyes, Gojyo said, "Look, stop acting like a nervous virgin! I've already seen your shit, so there's nothing to be embarassed about. And it makes sense for both us to get a minute of hot water than one of us getting it while the other freezes. Plus...I kinda owe you for picking on Sanzo like I did. So, are you in or not?"
Smiling, instantly mollified, Hakkai stood up and stripped down, too. "Thanks, Gojyo."
"Hey, no problem. Just don't spread it around I shared a shower with a dude, okay? I DO intend to get laid while we're here."
Hakkai laughed and shut the door after them, automatically grabbing two slightly damp towels and setting them on the closed toilet lid near the tub. Gojyo cranked the hot water on as far as it would go and jumped in quickly, Hakkai close behind him. "Oh, shit! That fucking monk lied! It's FREEZING!" Okay, so it wasn't exactly freezing, but it was barely luke-warm.
"Whoa!" Hakkai jumped a little when the less-than-warm water hit him, waiting patiently while Gojyo got his hair soaking wet, pushing it back out of his face.
"I'm gonna kill him, I swear to God I am," Gojyo muttered, pressing himself up as close to wall as possible so that Hakkai could squeeze through without touching. It didn't work perfectly (just a minor sword fight) since the tub was really narrow, but close enough. While Hakkai got his hair soaking wet and washed his body off, Gojyo shampooed his hair, working it in as thoroughly as he could. Was the water even cutting through the grease? He hoped so! His hair was his pride and joy. Well, maybe not his joy. THAT was a little lower!
"God, it's so cold now," Hakkai said, teeth chattering a little. It was his turn to squeeze up against the wall so Gojyo could get the shampoo out of his hair.
Gojyo edged by as carefully as possible. The body soap was making the tub a little slippery. "Hey, sorry, Kai, but I'm gonna have to use you for balance," he explained, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Oh, by all means! I'd hate to have you slip and fall," Hakkai answered pleasantly, reaching back for the shampoo. The ice water splashed off his shoulder and hit Gojyo in the face.
And made a glop of shampoo drip right into his eye. Gojyo jerked back at the stinging, still holding Hakkai's shoulder. His foot slipped then and..."Shit...WHOA! Oh, FUCK!" He knew there was no way to avoid. There was a sharp rip as he grabbed the shower curtain to try and stop the inevitable.
"GOJYO!" Hakkai slipping and falling forward served to finish the movement, the shower curtain twisting around them both.
Gojyo lost his balance, falling through the shower curtain with shampoo still in his eye, dragging Hakkai down with him. He smacked the tiled floor hard and yelped, landing on his stomach with Hakkai on top of him and trying to get off quickly.
Hakkai slipped again on the curtain that he was tangled in and fell back in place. Realizing his body placement, he said, "Oh, sorry! Here, let me just...Gojyo, please don't squirm like that..."
He couldn't tell which hurt more, the eye he was frantically pawingat, the aching in his knees from hitting the floor or his prideat having fallen in the first place. He decided the eye definately was the more urget when he blinked, trying to open it and the air made it throb madly. "SHIT! IT HURTS! Damn it, Hakkai, it stings like hell!"
"If you can hold still, I'll get it out," Hakkai said over his hissing and cussing. Gojyo spit shampoo from his mouth and waited as a wet towel was dabbed into his eye. Hakkai was still on him, trapped by that goddamn shower curtain. He hissed when more shampoo slid from his hair into his eyes.
"Owowowowowowow! HAKKAI, GET IT OUT!"
"I'm working on it, but you keep moving!" Gojyo forced himself to stay still while Hakkai got most of the soap out of his eye and used his other hand to push his hair back and wring out any excess water and shampoo. And he did all this while still pressed up against Gojyo's ass..
When Gojyo could see again, he blinked and looked around the swamped bathroom. The curtain rod was bent in the middle, the curtain ripped and water pooling on the floor from the still running shower. And the door was wide open. Wait, didn't Hakkai shut...He saw why it was open at the same time as Hakkai.
Goku stood in the door way, just staring. And staring. He wasn't even blinking. Gojyo froze. Hakkai froze. And then Goku screamed, rubbed his eyes, foot slipping in the water as he tried to run away. He fell on his ass and then proceded to scramble out the door into the bedroom. "AHHHH! Damn! I"M BLIND! HOLY CRAP!"
"YOU STUPID CHIMP! It's not what you- aw, hell!" Goku had gotten to his feet and was out the door before Gojyo could finish explaining. Gojyo slumped forward, pressing his head to the tiled floor. Now would be a good time to die. The kid was probably already downstairs telling Sanzo what he'd seen. And he knew exactly how the monk would take it.
Hakkai shifted a little on top of him, trying to twist around and untangle himself. "Well, that was awkward," he said cheerfully. After a few kicks and some tugging, he had them free.
"Fuck you, Hakkai! That was more than awkward," Gojyo snapped. "Do you know what he's thinking?"
"Mm..probably that we're having sex. Don't worry, I'll talk to him. I'm sure once I explain what happened he'll understand." He got up and left Gojyo lying on the floor while he turned off the shower and began trying to clean up.
Gojyo stood and finished washing his hair in the sink. This was just great! He was never gonna live this one down. It irritated him that the monkey now had ammo to use against him. And he knew for sure that Goku WOULD use it, too. "Hey, Hakkai?" he asked.
"Yes?" Hakkai called from the bedroom. He was already dressing as if nothing had happened.
"You think Sanzo's gonna-,"
"Oh, there's no doubt in my mind Sanzo's going to give us hell over it," was the flippant reply.
Sighing, Gojyo wrapped his hair in a wet towel and muttered, "That's what I thought." He went into the bedroom and scooped his boxers off the floor.
It was an hour later when they finally came downstairs, still damp but at least fully clothed. Goku jumped up when he saw them and moved from his spot across from Sanzo, taking his plate and the seat next to the monk.
Gojyo smacked the kid's head as he went by. "Real subtle, dumb ass!" He and Hakkai sat down across from the two. All four of them couldn't look each other in the eye.
The slight quirk to Sanzo's brow and the smirking little curve to his lips was all the warning Gojyo had before the monk said, "So, the cold shower didn't help at all?"
