Glade of Kings, Later the same evening

Even the most holy of ceremonies do not last forever, even if they seem that way. The masses that had assembled on the Glade of Kings had mostly gone to the many places that sheltered them for the night before they began their treck home. Many of them, the Bretons and a few other humans included, had a very good time of it. Some would probably regret that when they started marching tomorrow, today they could not care less.

The lonely being that walked the Glade was not in the mood for such festivities. It was not that the Asrai were not welcoming to him, quite the opposite. This place reminded him too much of his loss. His wanderings had been aimless, he had no particular target in mind except for being alone with his thoughts. His feet brought him here regardless.
For a human the light would have been too low to make out much detail, for a true Elf like Aeolus it might have been bright daylight. The living wood before him had captured her every detail. There was the slender body, hardened through living without the many aids the Germans took so granted. The wood mirrored the smooth skin that had been so warm to his touch, the face that had been so good at showing her mood and a mouth that had smiled when she saw him.

The statue brought such memories, of good times, of thoughts shared and of loving acceptance. Aeolus had felt complete and at rest when he was with her and alone when she was not around. Her embrace had steadied him when his people had disowned him and her love had warmed him when they had left him in the cold.
All of that was lost to him forever. She had died well, if such a thing was possible.

"And how can man die better
Than facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his gods"

They had a way with words, these humans, especially about such things. At another time Aeolus would have wondered if that was as they were so close to death, today the realization that she was lost to him forever hit him like a hammer.
There was no one around, so it did not matter that he cried. His own people would have thought that he lacked control. He was no longer theirs and he could care less. His tears hit the wood in several places and he stepped back a bit.

That was when the statue opened its eyes.

Close to Weijin, Cathay, next morning

A gray sky hung over the well-trampled field, a wind pushed cold air through any gap clothing might present. None of those present registered that in any way, there were more impressive sensations to be had.

Mortar bombs whistled through the air and exploded when they barely met the ground. Razor-sharp fragments flayed their targets while the overpressure assaulted them as if any part of them was hit by a baseball bat at once. A deep hammering sound spoke of machine gun work, tracers reached over the battlefield. Any enemy would keep their heads down where the tracers zipped by, those not clever enough to do so would no longer matter in short course.

The field before the impact zone was filled with soldiers. They did not march in tight ranks, they sprinted forward from cover to cover. They were organized in small groups and kept some distance from each other.
They were watched from an elevated platform that allowed some comfort while watching the presentation before them.

"Very impressive Tidu Böhler, it seems you have trained our troops to the standard of your Wild Geese. I just do not understand why they have to be so far apart and why they wear so uninspired uniforms. Are they not proud soldiers serving the Celestial Dragon?"
"They keep their distance so that a spell or a blast does not kill too many of them. And they wear camouflage as you can only kill what you can see, mother."

JinJin the Golden, Queen Mother of the Celestial Dragon, the Cathayan Emperor was petite and ageless. She held her body as erect as it had been many years ago when she had enticed the then-Emperor despite her being a minor concubine. Lowly status or no, she had been the only woman to bear the Dragon's child and have it live.
She had no official status, no place in the intricate bureaucracy that was the Cathayan government. She was soft spoken and polite. Nobody sane ever crossed her and her suggestions were law.
The Celestial Dragon himself was a rail-thin youth at the awkward edge of becoming a man. He had a German-made binoculars before his eyes and watched as the troops assaulted the wooden targets with bayonets.

"It seems that you have indeed made good on your promise Shangjiang Böhler. No man who trains, arms and organizes four divisions of troops should be a mere Tidu. So now that we have very few ears around us, how do you rate them yourself?"
"Your highness is too generous with this simple mercenary. What can I say for them but that I would go into battle with them at my side. We had lots of volunteers and could pick, they were willing to train hard and we kept the best. They have now repeating rifles, machine guns, mortars and some artillery train and know how to use them. All in I would match them to a similar sized unit from the Great War on Earth. They are many times as dangerous as anything serving the Celestial Dragon in the past. The next time the Hobgoblins come to a visit they will not like it at all."

"Very well done Shangjiang. So now that the Celestial Dragon is safe, what more can you do here?"
"The Celestial Dragon inspired me to another project that will serve the Center of the World Madame."
"And what might that be?"
"An air arm. We have made good use of the planes we purchased during the last two years and we have a licensing agreement with their maker. We will supply the Dragon with the nucleus of an air force so that the Dragon can rain his displeasure on his enemies."
"And make good money in the course of that."
"Oh mother, these planes are just cool."
"I am willing to offer a cost-plus contract to the Celestial Dragon of course."
"See mother?"

Forum "Die andere Geschichte" (Alternate History)

"Different humor" by generalurist

Contrary to stereotype Germans do have humor, even if it took this lonely passenger in Germany's trip to the Warhammer World a while to learn of it. And while we have recovered lots of things in the last decade, while we still receive films and books from Earth via the Versailes link we miss out on culture on Earth. Jokes is among them, and even if we receive something the jokes often refer to things that we hardly know of.

We have to make our own then, taking up the traditions of those we left behind. One of the older traditions that have never got a hold in Germany is the "You have two cows" jokes which have been around in the US since 1936. Some of the classic examples are:

· Communism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then gives you some milk.

· Fascism: You have two cows. You give them to the government, and the government then sells you some milk.

· Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

· Nazism: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

Nice, but many of the younger people need to think to be able to laugh about them. So here is the one and only Warhammer edition by yours truly:

Germany: You have two cows. They used to be basically museum pieces but you had to ramp up industrial milk production to compensate for losing your trading partners.

· Greens: You insist that milking cows is utterly inhumane. You continue to insist those two mutated cows are friendly after they try to bite your face off.

· Der Kaiserlichen: You have two recently-acquired cows. You notice that all the other well-off farms in the neighborhood have an Emperor and think you should have one yourself.

· The Empire of Man: Your collective has two cows. You get a milking machine from Germany and in return teach them how to apply magic for animal husbandry.

· Sylvania: You have two cows, and use iSkeletons to milk them. You start treating humans less like you treat cows because Germany pays you a lot for the cow's milk.

· Bretonnia: You have 2000 cows that don't get enough food and are milked 30 times a day. You are surprised when they revolt on mass and wonder why you have trouble beating them up after they bring out napalm and shotguns.

· Athel Loren: there are two cows in your farm that milk themselves. You would be offended hear they belonged to you. You sell their milk to overly ecologically-conscious Germans.

· Beastmen: You ARE the cows! Really huge and angry bulls, to be specific.

· Miragliano: You have only two cows left after numerous Skaven attacks on your farm. The Germans come and try to kill them, but things get out of hand and you're left with a radioactive crater in your field.

· Araby: You have two cows that you enslaved. The Empire blows up your fence and tells you to grow fruit instead.

· Norsca: You have two cows. You turn to milking them as a full-time job after Germany sank you longboats.

· Kislev: Two of your cows escaped north to Troll Country. A bunch of anti-chaos fighters from The Empire are helping you get them back.

· Ork Protektorat: You have two hundred cows. You give them rotten grass and forbid them from questioning your milking schedule. The cows rebel and sieze the means of production by taking your milking machines.

· Dawi: You have two cows that are well-adapted to living in caves. You are utterly determined to build your own milking machines instead of buying them from abroad.

· Chaos Dawi: Your two cows are very sick with heavy metal poisoning. Your attempt to take over your neighbor's pasture fails, but you manage to trick the Germans into giving you free frozen beef.

· Cathay: Your two cows have Nurgle's blessing. They deliberately spread it to all your chickens and sheep out of concern for animalian equality and try to take over the city. You respond by burning down the entire farm.

· Ulthuan: You have two cows. You argue bitterly with family members as to whether or not getting a milking machine to catch up to German milk outputs would be an unacceptable insult to centuries of tradition.

· Lizardmen: You have two reptilian things as livestock that are oddly similar to cows in behavior.

· Naggaroth: You only have 2 cows left after Germany raided your slave pens. Luckily some sociopathic traitor Germans offer to help you build milking machines and steal Asur cows if you let them have slaves.

There were 52 likes and two additions:

andyheong:

Wild Geese - You had two cows but decided they were too tame and you needed go somewhere else where the cows (and cowboys/girls) were wilder. After things became too wild, you left and are now are helping Cathay rebuild their cow sheds, and if you really do need cows (or milking equipment or napalm), you have a secret friend who can help you out and make offers no one can refuse.
Derek Pullem:

Greenskins - you had two cows but you ate them so now you have to take somebody else's - war!
Border Kingdoms - you don't have any cows left and the Greenskins are coming!

Office, Berlin

It was very hard to faze Ottokar Proktor, one of Athel Loren's gods had tried and failed. The current phone call came very close.

"She is a what Aeolus?"
"The closest thing to a Dryad you`ll ever see. She is not a Forest Spirit, so she cannot switch to another handy piece of wood and will not revert being a bush. It is just that she is a mage, connected so closely to Athel Loren and died on the Glade of Kings. Athel Loren provided her a vessel and she went into it."
"So she lives?"
"And will probably live longer than you or me Ottokar."
"So is she.."
"A woman of flesh and blood? Yes, after a fashion and in all respects that count. Don`t ask about her diet though and we probably do not need to worry about contraception. She will resume her duties as Athel Loren`s ambassador in a couple of months.
I really hope you do not have any jobs for me during the next two months or so."
"We`ll manage somehow. Congratulation Aeolus, you got something better than a medal."

The German placed the receiver back on the phone and wondered.

"Will ye wonders never cease? Well, somebody better check up on that gal before we have a real party. Now, who would be best for that..."

It is possible to faze Ottokar Proktor, even if one has to work for it. Don't expect it to last too long though.

Teotihuacan, Mexico, Earth

Julia Gazzola was in the middle of the Tunnel that led from the Temple of the feathered Serpent down the Road of the Dead when the lights went off. This happened every now and then when the generator was overtaxed and a brownout occurred. That the battery-powered backups did not start off was not supposed to happen. Julia grabbed for her helmet, a reasonably strong LED-light was fixed there. It went on without a hitch, but provided only a very small circle of rather bright light, deepening the rest of the darkness around her even more. She turned to move back to the closest entrance to the tunnel when she heard the sounds.

She paused for a moment, trying to make sense of them. There was a slithering, something that indicated things were dragged over stone and wood. It intensified by the minute. Afraid to look and not daring not to she took the time to play her light over the tunnel behind her. She spotted the source of the sound quickly enough, but her brain was unable to parse the information presented to it. The ground before her seemed to move with sinuous, undulating waves. It took her a second to realize that the ground was covered with snakes. She started screaming when the first of them unfolded their wings and started to fly towards her.

Juneau, in harbor Cayenne, Guyana

The briefing room was rather austere, with white-painted metal walls and chairs which had been state-of-the-art in the 80`s. The projector that provided video and pictures could not be more modern though.
The groups of beings before Andrew Nivens was more diverse and on average a bit older than when Juneau had still been part of the US Navy. It was hardly surprising. Xenon Communications, the PMC that was the front hiding humanities first and only defense against enemies from the Warp. It had swallowed Wisconsin's survivors, the French paratroopers and associated mages from Marienburg together with Gotrek and Felix.
Their differences were hard to spot in the semi-darkness that allowed the projector's pictures to be seen. Currently it showed a number of impressive pyramids in the middle of a jungle.

"These are the ruins of the city of Teotihuacan, built 2100 years ago by unknown parties. It has been one of the largest cities of its time, once housing up to 125.000 inhabitants. It was obviously an important religious center, sporting several impressive temples. The religions using them have, among other things, practiced human sacrifice.

This city was a going concern till roughly 1200 years ago, with its best times in the midst of the first millennium. The town was given up around 800 BC and again we do not know why.
In the last two years a system of tunnels, some under water, others free standing, we discovered. Most of them emerge from the Temple of the feathered Serpent to other parts of the city, but also to a number of sinkholes."

The series of pictures changed into a video. Whereas the pictures had been high-res, well-lit and probably been taken by a professional the video was grainy, jerked around and lost focus at times. It showed something that covered a part of the roads that connected the temples, something that clung to the temples' walls like creeper vines and something that flew in between.
The somethings resolved themselves into snakes of all sorts. Small snakes and big ones, snakes that basked in the sun and others who hunted for food. Many of the reptiles were partially covered in what might be feathers. What was without doubt were the wings that many of them sported. They flew here and there and not to few towards whoever took the video.
Flashes could be seen in the video, the reports of firearms and the screams of men. The snakes seemed to be hard to hit and at least twice the hits did not seem to have any effect.

"On Wednesday, 24.03.2023 the Mexican Policia Federal started getting reports of a snake infestation in the Teotihuacan complex. After dismissing the first reports they started investigating when the first ambulance reports came in. The Federales deployed a task force within two hours. After establishing a perimeter, they sent in several recon teams. You just saw their videos. The findings are inconclusive, but we certainly have an outbreak of a species of critters who have no natural origin. Currently we see three possibilities: Either the cryptids came with the Weltensprung. This is possible, but unlikely as they then hid for the last 11 years and now come out because reasons.

Second is that they used to be normal snakes and have been mutated by warpstone and/or magic. Again, this raises the question why we see them now and in such number all of a sudden. It is possible that this is orchestrated by a third party for unknown reasons. We should not rule out this possibility.

Third option is that there is another breach into our universe from somewhere else. Again, this might be orchestrated or not, we need to find out. We do believe that this is the most likely option because of this.
After the first forays by the Federales the Army has taken over and established a wider perimeter which seems to be holding so far. Our mission is to go into this perimeter, discover the source of this threat and contain it if possible. As always, we are expected to keep things as discreet as possible. Any hint of an influence of the Warp should be avoided."

"With all due respect Sir, how are we to keep things discreet after half of the Federales saw them? They are pretty good, but they leak intelligence like no tomorrow."
"You would be correct Specialist Kyle if there had been any surviving Federales. Whatever is in there killed them all. NSA nabbed the video from their transmissions. The Mexican government has issued a press release about a release of dangerous gasses from the sinkholes to explain the quarantine."
"So we go in there as we are, into something that killed a busload of Federales? These guys fight the bloody cartels for decades now, they are pretty hardcore."
"I thought I was out of this doom business manling."
"We will receive some additional gear before we go Specialists Kyle and Gotrek. But remember one thing, this site is only 40 kilometers from Mexico City. If whatever is in there breaks out there will be a massacre. Failure is not an option."