AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a little different for Yaoi? Hope you like it! After this one, it'll all go back to normal, but a writer friend of mine here (asianprincess61) sort of influenced me to write this. Thanks a lot!


Chikan choked on his take-out noodles, brown eyes wide and black hair swinging forward in spite of the blue bandana tied around his forehead. Buta had to whack him hard across the back before he could speak or breath again. "You...cough...can't be serious...cough, cough!"

Manuke nodded, sweat beading along hsi forehead and a nervous smile on his face. "I couldn't believe it either," he said, his voice cracking as if he were still growing into it.

"Uh...ahaha...are you sure they didn't mean 'happy' and not...well...that?" Feiku asked gingerly, rubbing his bald head. The crimson paint on his forehead had smeared a bit. Chikan would try and remind him later before they went out...unless he was too high to remember.

Buta cleared his throat, wiping his nose on his meaty hand. He fixed the ridiculously small glass monocly with its broken chain and said quietly, "But they didn't seem like...that! After all the times they kicked our asses..."

"Man, don't remind me," Manuke groaned, rubbing his hip with a painful grimace. "I still can't take a whiz without thinking about that last time!"

"But seriously," Chikan interupted, setting the box of noodles on the floor of their little shack. It was bare except for the bedrolls and a dirty camping stove. "I mean...dude, I don't think I wanna go that far! I mean...dude!"

"I don't think I could, either," Feiku added in agreement, tucking the ivory cotton robes up around himself so he could sit down. There was a faint green ring around his head from where the fake gold crown had sat. It was now being used to prop a window open and get some cool air in. "No offense, Manuke, but I just don't think..." He sighed, pulling off the long string of toilet paper written over with fake script. He'd copied it down from some comic book he liked to read.

Buta sank down onto a wooden crate, sniffling again, his flat nose wrinkling. "Maybe we can just ignore this part?" he asked hopefully. Chikan nodded in agreement with the fat, sweaty man.

There was a loud crack and they all turned to Manuke, who had just punched through the cardboard boxes stacked in the corner. "What? We can't do that! We're first rate imposters! We're even better than the original Sanzo party. If we ignore this, we'll be going against everything we stand for!"

"But...have you ever...you know?" Feiku asked, pale skin going paler.

Manuke stopped mid-rant, mouth working noiselessly. Finally, he gave a stuttered, "I...well, that is to say...well, neither have you!"

"True... Chikan?"

Chikan spit his beer across the room, splashing all over Feiku's face and robe. "Me? Hell, no! That was my brother, not me!"

"Well, doesn't hurt to ask!"

"I haven't either," Buta added from his corner.

Manuke sighed, shaking out his messy brown hair. It was starting to dred a bit from not having been washed in a while. He was worse about bathing that Chikan was. "Well, there's only one way to do this properly. Come here, Feiku!"

"Huh?" Feiku asked, getting up all the same. Chikan and Buta just watched in horror as Manuke grabbed him by the shoulders, dragged him in and kissed him full on the mouth.

"Aw, man! Aw...bleh..God, you couldn't have warned us?" Chikan shouted, covering his eyes. Buta was snorting with laughter.

The tow broke apart, Manuke rubbing his stubbled chin, Feiku biting his lower lip. "It wasn't all THAT bad, actually," Feiku conceded.

"Nah, not really," Manuke added thoughtfully. "I mean, I could do it again, and after a bit of practice, maybe do it in public. You?"

"Mm, possibly. It's still going to be a little odd, but I think i could swing it."

Both Manuke and Feiku turned to look expectantly at Chikan and Buta.

Chikan blinked, followed their gaze to a blushing and anticipating Buta. Buta smiled shyly, casting his watery green eyes down. "No way, man! No way in hell. I mean, dudes, look at him!"

"What, so just because he's fat you don't want to kiss him?" Manuke shouted, voice squeaking almost shrilly.

"Well, would YOU?"

Manuke scowled, throwing his arms wildly in the air. "That's not the point! The point is that Hakkai and Gojyo are boyfriends, and Sanzo and Goku are! If you wanna be the Gojyo in our group, you've gotta kiss Buta."

Chikan glanced again at the very sweaty Buta and licked his lips nervously. "Man...this blows. Okay, let's just get this done and over with!" He stood up and approached Buta warily, wiping his sweaty palms on his khaki pants.

"I'm ready," Buta said, pursing his lips together and closing his eyes expecantly.

Chikan leaned in, hesitated and then kissed him quickly, wiping his mouth and tongue (not that he'd used it) off with his hands and on the roll of dancing tape around his arms. Peeling it off the arm hair hurt like a bitch each time. "Bleck...God, how awful! I feel so gross!"

"I kind of liked it," Buta mumbled, picking some crumbs from his too-tight green tunic. "Maybe if we practiced a little later tonight-,"

"No! No practice at night! That's just too damn weird." Chikan shivered and sat down.

Manuke grinned happily. "Okay, let's try and get this right quickly! We're only a day ahead of the real Sanzo party, so we've gotta move quickly if we wanna avoid them."

They all agreed whole-heartedly on avoiding the real Sanzo party at all cost and began practicing their newfound information as realistically as possible.


Gojyo frowned as yet another guy whistled at him as he walked by. Goku and Hakkai were also carrying bags of grocerie and getting very examining looks, also from dudes. Huh... "Hey, Hakkai?"

"Yes?" Hakkai asked with a pleasant smile, ignoring the catcall from the porker-boy. Goku frowned when a pair of briefs were flung out an open window at him, shoving them off like they had the plague.

"Ever think that maybe someone out there is impersonating us...and making us gay?" the red head asked, eyes widening a touch when another man blew a kiss at him.

"Oh, so you've noticed our odd admirers, too?"

"Yeah."

Goku blinked and yelped when a man ran behind him and cracked his ass hard with the back of his hand. "OW! HEY, WHAT THE HELL?"

Hakkai blinked in surprise, Gojyo's cigarette hanging between his lips. A whole crowd of men were following them back to their inn. "What in the world... It's like they know us or something," Hakkai whispered, walking faster.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Gojyo added.

"Hey, guys? You don't think maybe it was those shitty imposter guys again...do you?" Goku asked as they began to run for the inn, the crowd still following them.

"Hard...to...say," Hakkai said between panting breaths.

"Man, I thought we taught them a lesson the last time! If I get my hands on them...," Gojyo never finished the threat because they dropped the groceries and booked it the rest of the way to the inn, slamming the door shut and running up the stairs to their room. Yeah, someone was spreading rumors about the Sanzo party, alright! Why else were they getting all the gay play?

Sanzo blinked, looking up from his newspaper in surprise. "What the hell happened to you guys?" he asked.

"Chased by a mob of male worshippers," Hakkai breathed out, leaning forward and taking deep gulps of air into his lungs. Gojyo was too winded to even speak.

"Yeah, they chased us and harassed us and one of them smacked my ass," Goku complained.

"Hmph, doesn't surprise me," Sanzo muttered, going back to his paper.

"What's that...supposed...to mean?" Gojyo demanded, expecting this old argument to surface again.

In answer, Sanzo flipped the newspaper to the announcement page and read outloud, "Two happy couples were wed today in holy union. One, Genjyo Sanzo, to his long time life mate Son Goku. The other, Sha Gojyo to his effeminate lover, Cho Hakkai." He folded it up again and returned to his editorial page. "And this happened in two towns ahead of us," he added.

"Son of a bitch! Those goddamn imposters!"