"I dare you... to eat this banana peel!"

"EWWW! That came from under your ass!"

"Yeah, so?"

"Well I don't wanna eat anything that came from there!"

"You can't back down now, monkey! It's a dare and you've gotta do it, so start chewing."

Hakkai's smile stayed fixed as he cast a worried glance over at Sanzo. The monk was gripping the OS bar so hard his knuckles were white. The vein in his forehead looked ready to explode at any second. And, to be perfectly honest, he was sort of hoping Sanzo WOULD just blow up at the two! They'd been out on the road for three days straight, stopping only when Hakkai desperately needed to take a break. It had all started innocently enough. There was nothing to distract Gojyo and Goku scenery wise so the kappa thought it might be fun to indroduce Truth or Dare. Of course, he'd known full well Goku was always going to pick dare. That's just how the boy was.

At first, the dares were simple and silly. Take your sock off and put it in your mouth for one minute. Scream 'I'm a pretty girl' at the top of your lungs. Stare at the ground whizzing by for as long as you could without puking. It was on the second day that things started getting out of hand. They seemed to have forgotten it was TRUTH or Dare. Sanzo had long ago lost patience with them and was starting to just keep the gun out in plain view all the time. Hakkai wrote it off as them being bored... but last night's dare with Goku had been the final straw. He'd woken up around two in the morning when he'd felt someone leaning over him. It had been Goku trying to remove one of his limiters and take it back to Gojyo for proof that he did. Hakkai had very politely asked them both to leave him out of it.

That lasted about an hour. He'd almost been back to sleep when Gojyo had snuck in. He'd ignored it at first, hoping to God the red-head was just trying to find some disinfectant or gauze or something. Hakuryuu screeching made him jump from his bed roll in fright. The little white dragon's wings were beating against Gojyo's head, red eyes glowing angrily. Gojyo was trying to fend him off, waving his hands around in the air. He was so preoccupied with it that he ended up stumbling right through the side if the tent, pulling it down around not only Hakkai, but Sanzo who had woken up worless with rage. Once everyone was untangled from the mess, the monk swatted Gojyo angrily in the head and grabbed his pillow and blanket to sleep somewhere in the forest by himself. All of this happened because Goku dared Gojyo to pluck one of the incredibly fine hairrs from Hakuryuu's neck. Needless to say, he'd been pissed himself.

Hakkai really couldn't believe after last night they would STILL dare to play this game! He sighed and shook his head while Gojyo howled with laughter from in back. They would be entering a village soon enough. It was bound to get worse once they had a whole new place to play around in!


Sanzo glanced up from his paper and did a double take before he could help himself. Gojyo was strolling around the room completely naked... except for some frilly pink thing that went right up his ass and squished everything in the front. The kappa looked far from happy about it as he took a seat at the table, shifting a little. "Man... women are fucking crazy for wearing this shit!"

He didn't want to know... it was disturbing enough to have the bastard sitting at the table while he read the paper. He REALLY didn't need a running commentary about lingerie! There was only one reason Gojyo would be wearing a thong. And that reason was staring at a small bag full of wasabi with something close to fear on his face. Goku wiped his brow and turned large golden eyes up to Gojyo. "Do I really have to?"

Gojyo lit a cigarette and smirked. He leaned back a little, slipping a finger down along the thin strip of pink lace on his hip, snapping the material back against his skin. "I've got chafing in my ass like I can't even begin to tell you about. Hell, yeah, you've gotta down that bag. All in one go, too."

Sanzo folded the newspaper up, eyes narrowing behind his glasses. "Goku..."

"Yeah?" Goku asked softly, staring at the fine green substance like it was going to jump up and eat his face off.

"Never mind." He was about to tell the boy not to do anything stupid... but it would have been a waste of time. He knew the moron would spout some shit about not being able to back out on a dare shortly before he stuffed his face with wasabi.

Letting out a loud, long breath, Goku picked the bag up and emptied the contents into his mouth, swallowing it down. Both Sanzo and Gojyo watched him. Tears watered and then spilled from eyes suddenly full of pain. Goku sat frozen for the space of a second before he was clutching his stomach and coughing violently, face a shade of red Sanzo had never seen before. He went running for the bathroom, practically ripping the door out of Hakkai's hand as the other man was coming out.

Hakkai was just getting out from there, having taken a shower, and was completely plowed over by Goku running for the toilet. He sat up on the floor, still clutching his towel desperately to keep from flashing everyone completely. "What in the world?"

"Goku ate about a quarter cup of wasabi. Straight up," Sanzo explained, flicking the paper open again and ignoring the pained hacking mixed with wails of agony coming from the bathroom. If he was going to be dumb enough to eat that much wasabi, he wasn't getting an ounce of sympathy for it!

Gojyo was laughing so hard he couldn't make a sound. His hands clutched his sides, tears squeezing through his thick lashes. It stopped abruptly when he slid down his chair, drawing the thin material further up his ass and across the front. "OW! Goddamn it, I've got rope burn on my balls!"

"GOJYO! What... where did you...?" Hakkai blushed dark red and quickly turned his eyes away, unwilling to ask about the thong. Sanzo had a brief flash of sympathy for the properly polite man. If their driver left because Gojyo had a cross dressing fetish, he was going to be pissed off!

"It was a dare, alright? You know me better than that, Hakkai. I like the boys to have a little more room than this to breathe!"

"I see. And did Goku down the wasabi on a dare, too?" The only physical sign Hakkai was angry was his hand tightening around the towel at his waist.

Sanzo peeked from around the edge of the paper. Hakkai had that icy tone in his voice. Maybe this time he wouldn't need to break out the fan. Hakkai could be a pretty scary bastard when he wanted to be. And after last night it wouldn't surprise him in the least if the green-eyed man lost it. Which meant it was his cue to leave before the shit went flying. Tucking the newspaper under his arm and stubbing out the cigarette, Sanzo went down stairs, calling back, "You better have more on than that ass floss when you come down. And if I so much as hear the word 'dare' during dinner, I'll be daring you two to try and find a place to hide before I hunt you down and kill you." He knew as he shut the door that it wouldn't do any good. Children were children, and idiots had no choice but to be idiots. He checked his gun to make sure he had enough ammunition. The camber was full and he hand a few extra in his robe. That would be plenty... hopefully.


Hakkai stared after the closed door and half wished Sanzo would have stayed just long enough for him to get dressed. Those two were really pushing his last button. Not ONCE since he'd met them had he ever felt the need to lose his temper. If this continued much longer...

Goku stumbled from the bathroom, groaning. "I think my tongue's dead. An' my stomach. That sucked so bad!"

Gojyo snickered, standing up carefully. "Yeah, but that's what you get for sticking me in this thing all fucking night! You know I can't go out and get laid wearing this shit."

"Hehe... guess ya can't be a pervert tonight!"

"Eat me!"

Hakkai finished drying off and quickly pulled on his boxers and pants. He had to get out of here and cool off just a little. Yes, maybe he and Sanzo could step out to the nice bookstore he'd seen coming in. Between the two of them, they'd read the four books in the Jeep so many times it was ridiculous!

"Hey, Goku?"

Oh, no... His fingers worked quickly to fasten the belt buckle, reaching for his undershirt. That was all he needed to at least be presentable at the table. He could always come back up and finish ebfore going out. Shoes... well, he could go without them for now. But if he had to hear this...

"I dare you to stand on a chair downstairs and profess your undying love and desire for Sanzo's cock!"

Hakkai whirled around, horrified at the idea. "Gojyo, that's not a fair bet! Sanzo would KILL him for doing that!"

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "He hasn't hit yet, has he? So, monkey-boy? Are you gonna pussy out or do it?"

Goku's cheeks burned with embarassment, but his eyes were burning with something else. Hakkai felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Please, God, don't let him... "Fine, I'll do it. But you've gotta do something first!"

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

Hakkai hurried from the room as Goku began to tell him. "I dare you..." He shut the door, rubbing the back of his neck. Toying with him was one thing. They knew he had a high tolerance for childish antics. But screwing around with Sanzo... that was taking things a bit far! Giving the door one last nervous glance, he went down to the bar area, which was already pretty crowded. Sanzo was easy to spot in the back corner. He was the only one with hair such a brilliant shade of gold.

The monk's gaze flickered up to acknowledge Hakkai taking a seat across from him. "How are the kids, honey?" he asked sarcastically, tapping off some ash in the tray next to him.

Hakkai shook his head, smiling a little. "Sanzo, you do know we need them for this journey, right?"

The narrowed, suspicious glare was the only response he got.

"I'm just giving you a head's up they've gotten bored including me in their antics."

"Oh?" Sanzo returned to his newspaper, taking a hit.

Taking a deep breath and holding it to keep from losing his nerve, he said quickly, "They've moved on to you. In about five minutes, Goku is going to profess his love for you. And Gojyo... well, I didn't hear what he was going to do actually. Now, I realize they're getting to be pretty irritating, but I'm begging you, as a friend or companion or whatever, please don't kill them."

"First off, you're about the only one in the group I MIGHT consider naming as a friend, but that's solely based on the fact you're less annoying than either of them." Hakkai smiled at the backhanded compliment. "Second... breaking their jaws isn't doing shit. And killing them will be too quick and not nearly as enjoyable as some other options."

Now he was really worried. Sanzo not wanting to kill them? How... odd. He knew Sanzo was pissed to the point of doing something drastic... but usually it was a new and creative way to kill Gojyo or Goku. This was a side of Pissy Sanzo he'd never experienced before. And he wasn't sure he was comfortable with it. "Sanzo, what other options are you refering to?"

"Let me handle it, Hakkai."

He folded his hands neatly on the table, too nervous to do more than accept the beer the waitress brought over and gulp it back. Let him handle it? Things weren't looking good for either Goku or Gojyo. No, this wasn't going to be good at all! Sanzo continued to smoke and read, completely silent and utterly calm. He wasn't going to be when Goku came down and made his announcement!

It wasn't long before Goku and Gojyo entered the room, Gojyo walking just a little funny. Neither one would look at Sanzo to save their life and there was an unhealthy paleness to Gojyo's tanned skin that made Hakkai even more worried. Uh-oh... Goku took a seat, trying to keep the wicked smile from coming to his lips. Goku with a wicked smile? Usually Gojyo was...

Hakkai scooted his chair as far as he could from Gojyo as the red-head stood in front of Sanzo. People were beginning to stare. Sanzo folded his paper up and waited, giving Gojyo a cold glare. "Well, kappa, what the fuck do you want?"

Without a word, Gojyo suddenly pulled Sanzo to him using his robe. Hakkai very nearly fell out of his chair when he kissed the monk on the lips. HE WOULDN'T... if it weren't for the fact he was seeing it with his own eyes, he would NEVER have believed Gojyo to be so dumb as to kiss Sanzo! AND IN PUBLIC! It was suicidal to embarass Sanzo in private. Now... he knew Gojyo was going to die a slow and horribly painful death.

Something so completely shocking and unreal occured that both Hakkai AND Goku's jaws dropped. Sanzo's fingers wound through Gojyo's hair and he kissed him back, forcing the red-head's mouth open with his tongue. And he didn't let go, not even when Gojyo released his robes and opened his eyes with with a look that seemed to scream 'WHAT THE HELL?' Hakkai shook his head and then rubbed his eyes to see if somehow he'd been wrong about it all. Nope, Sanzo was still kissing Gojyo, and drawing more and more stares for it. There was no way that could be passed off as an innocent little kiss. Sanzo was making very sure anyone who saw it knew there was a lot of tongue being used! Dear God...

Gojyo yelped and stumbled back when Sanzo finally released him, falling over the table behind him and over the side. Luckily, no one had been sitting there, but there were still plenty of people gaping still from the passionate kiss to witness it. "HOLY SHIT!" He got to his feet, legs shaking and left without turning around, eyes wide and frightened. He was staring at Sanzo as if he'd grown a second head. Once he was out of the bar his footsteps could be heard running for the front door. The door slammed shut and people on the street shouted angrily as he plowed through them.

Violet eyes glittering with malicious laughter locked on golden ones the size of small dinner plates. "Did you have something you wanted to say, Goku?" he asked. He never said it, but the tone was obviously daring the boy to continue.

"Uh... no... that's okay. I'm not feelin' good anymore." Goku stood numbly from the table and left.

Hakkai watched him leave before turning back to Sanzo. He was torn between speechless shock and outright laughter. It had been brilliant... down right awful and brilliant and... he didn't know what. It was completely unlike Sanzo and yet it was exactly like him at the same time! A chuckle broke from his throat and soon he was laughing, wiping his eyes. "Terrible... you're so terrible!"

Sanzo, smirking, picked the paper back up. "See? I told you there were better ways to deal with it besides killing them."

The next day, the car ride was blissfully silent. Hakkai let out a happy sigh. It seemed as if Gojyo and Goku were done completely with Truth or Dare.

"Hey, Gojyo?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm thinkin' of somethin'. Can you guess what?"

"Um... is it an animal?"

"No!"

"Vegetable?"

"No!"

Oh, dear... Hakkai looked over to where Sanzo was grinding his teeth. "Well, any bright ideas, Sanzo?"

"It's your turn to handle it," he replied bitterly.

Somehow, Hakkai doubted very much he could use the same method for silencing them that the monk had. How lovely...