Hakkai glanced up from his book as Sanzo came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist and hanging in wet shaggy pieces around his face. He glanced around when he noticed the room was empty. "Where Captain Stupid and his side kick, the Wonder Brat, go?" he asked.

"Oh, they went to get some food," Hakkai explained, turning the page in his book. "Your laundry is folded on the bed, by the way."

"Hmph."

Hakkai continued to read silently as Sanzo unfolded the tight jeans and finished toweling off. It wasn't often that he got a chance to relax without anyone interupting. With Sanzo, it was possible since the blonde wasn't one for idle conversation. He'd been lucky in the last town to discover a fantastic bookstore that had an amazing selection of hard-to-finds. This was one of his most favorites and he hadn't read it in years, even since before he'd met Kanan. He was taking full advantage of the peace and quiet to indulge in Hakkai Time.

That didn't last very long, however. "Hey... Hakkai?"

He looked up at the puzzled question. Sanzo's back was to him, the jeans pulled up and looking as tight as ever. "Yes?"

"Did you do the laundry?"

What an odd thing to say! "Of course I did. Is something wrong?" He folded the corner of the page he left off on, swinging his legs over the side of the bed.

"Well... I think maybe..." This was incredibly odd indeed. If he wasn't mistaken, Sanzo sounded almost embarassed. "I think you shrunk my jeans."

"What?" Hakkai came around so that he was facing Sanzo. He watched as the blonde sucked in his already thin waist and tried to get the two ends to meet. No such luck. "Oh, dear! Well, I washed them with all of ours, and mine got up fine. So, it can't be because they shrank."

He knew Sanzo was glaring at him. "Then what are you suggesting, Hakkai?" he asked coldly.

Hakkai laughed nervously. He was walking on dangerously thin ice now! "Um... we HAVE been eating out a lot recently..."

"Don't you dare say it!"

Sighing, Hakkai stepped back a few paces. Just in case he needed to duck for bullets. "Sanzo... I think you've gained some weight."

The violet glare went from dangerous to deadly in the blink of an eye. Snarling wordlessly, he continued to tug on the pants, wincing as the waistband cut in sharply.

"Sanzo..."

"Shut up, Hakkai!"

"Sanzo, that can't be good for you! What if you break a kidney or something?"

Sanzo shot him another evil look and continued trying to button his jeans. "I haven't gained any weight," he choked out, arms straining to force the inevitable to happen. "You must have shrunk them."

It was pointless trying to explain to him again that all the jeans were washed in the same load and that none of the others had shrunk. Sighing and running one hand back through his hair, Hakkai motioned toward the bed. "Lie down, Sanzo."

"Huh?"

"Lie down. It'll make getting them buttoned easier."

Sanzo did as he was told, stretching out on his back. He pulled hard once, twice, three times. On the third pull, his hands slipped of completely. "Damn it! You owe me a pair of jeans, asshole!"

Shaking his head and biting back any sharp retort, Hakkai climbed up on the bed, straddling Sanzo's thighs with his legs. "Okay, suck in," he instructed.

Sanzo's impossibly small waist shrank even further. Hakkai grabbed both ends tightly in his fists and tried to force them together, leaning forward a little.

"Ow! Watch where you're pressing," Sanzo hissed, covering his eyes with one hand as the immediate pain ripped through him.

Hakkai looked down and saw he was indeed pressing down on a very senstive area. "Oh... Oh, I'm so sorry, Sanzo!"

"Don't be sorry, just give me results."

Nodding, the green-eyed man tried again to make it work. He was almost there... the ends were just about touching... His sweaty fingers lost their grip on the fabric and he fell forward on top of Sanzo, knocking the air out from the blonde underneath. Their faces were mere inches away, groins pressed close together. Hakkai used Sanzo's chest to push himself up a little, the soft skin dimpling under his fingertips All in all it was an incredibly intimate position to be in. They were so close in fact that Hakkai could almost taste the cigarettes on Sanzo's breath. Startled violet eyes met equally startled green ones before both sets flew to the door opening. Oh, shit...

"Mm... those were the best meatbuns I've ever- HUH?"

"Oi, why'd you- HUH?"

Hakkai and Sanzo stared at Gojyo and Goku. Gojyo and Goku stared right back. The bag of food dropped from Goku's arms as he continued to gape with a slacked jaw. "Um... I don't suppose you two would believe this isn't what it looks like?" Hakkai offered with a shaky laugh.

Both of them shook their heads, jaws still dropped.

"Ah... I see."

"He was helping me get my jeans buttoned," Sanzo said, cheeks flaming pink.

"Uh-huh," Gojyo replied skeptically.

"If you say so," Goku mumbled.

"Seriously, that's all it was," Hakkai added hastily.

Gojyo put a firm hand on Goku's shoulder. "Yeah... okay. Just keep helping him with his jeans. We'll come back later." They backed out the door, Goku grabbing the door knob and shutting it quietly. There was a loud pounding as the two quickly ran back down the stairs.

Sanzo closed his eyes, gritting his teeth tightly. "Goddamn it!"