AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! I just checked to stats on this brain child... over 200 reviews! THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE! I still can't believe how many people have ready this and LIKED it! hugs everyone So, I've decided that every 100 reviews, I'll post one involving the whole group. SO... having said that, thank you all again for the past reviews and for (hopefully) future ones as well!


Hakkai paused in the doorway, frowning. "Coming, Goku?"

"Yeah... in a minute," the boy replied distractedly, still sitting cross legged on the bed with nothing but his half-buttoned jeans on. He was still trying to figure out the trick card deck that he'd been toying with for the last three hours.

Hesitating only long enough to give Goku one last worried look, Hakkai shut the door and went downstairs. Earlier that day, Goku had spotted something that had made him drool almost as much as meatbuns; a begginer's magic kit. He'd begged, pleaded and finally annoyed Sanzo into buying it for him. Hakkai hadn't been too certain about how long Goku would be interested in it. He was pleasantly surprised to find the boy still interested in it several hours later. In fact, he was so involved with trying to master all the basics that he'd fogotten all about dinner! Simply stunning.

Gojyo and Sanzo both looked up as he entered the dining room alone. "Where's the chimp?" Gojyo asked around his cigarette.

"Goku will be joing us later," Hakkai stated, taking his seat and placing his napkin in his lap.

"Huh?" Gojyo stared at the plates and plates of food on the table and looked a bit lost. "Dude... there's no way I'm gonna eat all of this!"

"You'll find a way or I'll kill you," Sanzo muttered. "I bought it because you said you were hungry, and you're going to make it disappear."

Gojyo gulped, sweat beads dotting his forehead. "Shit..." He tied his hair back with the little rubber band around his wrist and picked up his chopsticks. "I'm gonna fuck that monkey up at least six different ways for this!"

Hakkai laughed quietly and poured himself some tea before taking a larger portion than he usually would have. Gojyo was going to be sick if he ate all this food by himself. He was willing to do a few extra sit ups if it meant keeping the room from smelling like regurgitated Chinese food.

Dinner was a very quiet affair. Very civilized for a change. Without Goku there the help him, Gojyo wasn't irritating Sanzo in the least. There wasn't much conversation other than polite inquiries about the food from their waitress and an occassional conversation point. Hakkai helped himself to an equally large seconds, drawing a glare from Sanzo when the monk realized he was trying to help Gojyo out. Gojyo, already having eaten three extremely generous servings, was looking at the fourth like it was the most vile thing he'd ever seen. A soft click from the monk next to him and suddenly he couldn't stop shoveling the food in his mouth.

"You know, it's really not fair to force someone to be a glutton," Hakkai remarked, meeting Sanzo's firm glare with one of his own.

"You're acting like I have a gun to his head," Sanzo returned sarcastically, lip lifting into a sneer.

Hakkai knew it was pointless to argue with him. He'd have better luck asking a brick wall to move. Sighing again, he set his chopsticks down, folded his napkin neatly and stood up. "I'm going to go check on Goku. He needs to have a hot meal just as much as the rest of us."

Gojyo was quicky to jump from the table, but a little slow to catch up. He stumbled after Hakkai, clutching his stomach. "Shit... I'm dying, 'Kai!"

"I doubt you're really dying, Gojyo," he laughed.

"He will die if he doesn't finish that food," a deathly cold voice said behind them.

Both men jumped in surprise, not having heard Sanzo get up and follow them as well. "For the luva GOD, make more noise, would ya?" Gojyo hollered, hand going to his chest as he leaned against Hakkai's shoulder. "Scared the shit outta me!"

"Hmph, maybe if you paid more attention you would have noticed."

"I'm a little surprised, Sanzo," Hakkai remarked as they continued down the hall to their room. "I didn't think you were all that worried about Goku."

"I'm not. I ran out of cigarettes."

Oh... well, that made more sense than the monk being worried for his charge! How silly of him to make that assumption. It was while he was getting the key out of his pocket that he bumped into Gojyo's tense back. Peering around his friend's shoulder, he noticed the look of extreme concentration on the red-head's face. "Gojyo?"

"Shh," he said firmly.

The safety clicking off told him Sanzo was alert as well. Hakkai remained still, listening intently. There! What was that?

BUMP, BUMP... BUMP!

Was someone banging on the wall of their room? There was no youkai aura that he could pick up, and out of the three of them the only one nearly as sensitive to it as him was Sanzo. Slowly, they began to creep forward, Gojyo motioning Hakkai in front of him so that he could unlock the door. Hakkai pressed his back to the wall on one side, Sanzo moved to the other, his gun pointed at the ceiling for the time being. There was a faint rattle as Gojyo summoned his shakujo. Hakkai met Sanzo's eyes. "On three," he mouthed. the blonde nodded, violet eyes narrowed.

One...

BUMP! BUMP, BUMP, BUMP!

Hakkai fitted the key into the lock. The noise inside got more insistant. Two...

Bump... BUMP!

Three!

He opened the door quickly. Sanzo spun down onto one knee, gun aimed. Except... there was no one there. No one except...

Gojyo burst out laughing, running a hand through his hair as he casually walked into the room. "Oh man, oh MAN! Did you get yourself into a pickle!"

"THIS ISN'T FUNNY," Goku hollered, golden eyes blazing angrily. Hakkai quickly hid his smile behind his hand, turning away so the boy wouldn't see the laughter break through. This was just too much! Sanzo's face registered shock before even the monk was smirking.

"Hey... are those MY handcuffs?" Gojyo demanded, still laughing hard enough that his face was starting to turn red.

Goku's cheeks flamed up in embarassment. And he had every right to be embarassed! On one wrist were the shiny silver 'trick' handcuffs from his magic kit. On the other were fuzzy tiger striped ones. And both were connected to the head board of the bed. He was spread out on the rumpled bed like a virgin sacrifice to a bondage cult.

"How in the hell did you do this?" Sanzo asked, shutting the door and locking it. Hakkai pressed his forehead to the wall, trying desperately to get control of himself.

"Well, I figured out the card trick," the boy began as Gojyo finally fell to his knees, laughing so hard now that he couldn't get enough breath to make a sound. "So I moved on to the handcuffs. 'Cept, when I locked one hand up, I couldn't figure out how to work the little latch thingy."

"So far... it's understandable," Hakkai said, finally gaining some measure of control over himself. "But... what about the other ones?"

"Oh..." The blush darkened. "Well, you always tell me to retrace my steps if I'm missin' something, an' it made sense to do that here, too. Y'know, recreate the problem. I remembered seein' these in Gojyo's bag once, and it was sittin' right next to the bed. So... I recreated the problem only to give myself ANOTHER problem. And I've been bangin' the stupid headboard against the wall for, like, and hour! And you guys didn't even get worried I was starvin' up here! I'm soooo hungry!" His stomach gurgled as if on command.

"Monkey logic... too much... gotta breathe..." This was all said by Gojyo as he still lay dying on the floor. Tears were squeezing through his tightly shut eyes.

Snarling, Sanzo kicked the kappa in the ribs. "Get up, piece of shit! Give him the key already!"

"OW! You prick!" Gojyo peeled himself off the floor, rubbing his ribs as he dug through his bag. "Keys, keys, keys..."

Sanzo and Hakkai exchanged looks. The monk crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know how that kinky shit works."

"And you think I do?" Hakkai replied.

"Yes, you do, Sanzo!" Goku piped up from the bed. Gojyo began to snicker again, shoulders hunching over his bag as he struggled to keep it in. "What about that time when Gojyo was tryin' to-,"

BANG!

Both Gojyo and Goku jumped as the bullet sunk into the wall right between their heads. Hakkai quickly hid his shock when violet eyes whirled around on him, promising death if he so much as dare asked. So... Sanzo was into the leather and stuff. How interesting for someone who was raised in a Buddhist temple. He looked up when Sanzo sighed and went over to the bed.

The blonde put one knee by Goku's shoulder and the other in the middle of his chest to keep him from squirming. Without the robes, it looked very much like something else... Hakkai felt his cheeks burn up. Oh dear, he truly hoped no one would come in right NOW! He checked the lock again to be sure before going over to the bed. Goku was squirming and 'ow'ing over something Sanzo was doing.

"Goddamn idiot... what you deserve..."

"Having trouble, Sanzo?" Hakkai asked, climbing up on the bed. He absently put a hand to Goku's knee when the boy's leg jerked in a direction that would have cause Hakkai a lot of pain. And he kept his hand there to prevent and future jerks from occuring. That was one type of pain he DIDN'T need to experience to grow from!

Sanzo was trying to squeeze Goku's wrist out of the narrow metal band. He sat back, scowling as Goku stared at his bruised arm. "The emergency latch is busted. The dumb shit must have stepped on it or something."

"I see. What about the one attached to the head board?"

Sanzo leaned up and over, examining the loop going around one of the posts. Then he smacked Goku in the head.

"OW! Why the hell did you do that? I'm dyin' from hunger and hitting me isn't helping!"

"You broke BOTH latches, you stupid monkey!"

"I didn't MEAN to!"

"Haha! Got the key!" Gojyo triumphantly held up the small metal object before jumping up onto the bed as well. Hakkai continued to hold Goku's knee in place as Sanzo continued to pull, while Gojyo knelt between Goku and the wall.

"OW!" Goku's body arched away from Sanzo as the blonde pulled extra hard on his hand.

"SHIT!" Gojyo quickly saved himself from the boy's knee. "Hakkai, sit on him or something! I'm not having my balls cracked by an idiot ape!"

"ARG... Shut UP!" Goku shouted back, yanking roughly out of Sanzo's grip to try and lunge for Gojyo.

Sanzo planted a firm hand to his shoulders, slamming him back into the mattress. "Stay still, dumb ass! Hakkai, keep his legs still."

"Okay. Please, don't do anything sudden, Goku," Hakkai begged before swinging one leg over Goku's thighs so that he was straddling him. He kept his legs as tight to Goku's as possible, thus making sure the boy couldn't move his legs more than a fraction of an inch.

Gojyo was trying to fit the key in the lock while Sanzo kept trying to twist Goku's arm at impossible angles. Goku's bodu bucked again and Hakkai had to press his palms down on his stomach to keep him from moving more.

"I can't see what the fuck I'm doing if you keep movin' around," Gojyo shouted.

"I'm not doin' it on purpose! Sanzo's hurting me!"

Sanzo sat back, frowning thoughtfully. Hakkai and Gojyo both waited. Maybe he had an idea... "Gojyo?"

"Yeah?" the red-head drawledslowly, giving the monk a narrow-eyed, skeptical look.

"Do you have any lube?"

"HUH?" Both Hakkai and Gojyo gaped at him, too stunned by the question. What could Sanzo possibly want with lubricant- oh... "Oh, I see," Hakkai said, chuckling softly at his misuderstanding. "You're going to use the lube on Goku's wrist to pull it out."

Sanzo's frown turned confused. "What else would I- oh. Goddamn perverts! Just get me the fucking lube."

"My bag's by the bed, asswipe. Get it yourself," Gojyo muttered, bending low over Goku's wrist. "Damn it... this fucking lock is- oh, shit!"

Hakkai and Sanzo both turned to Gojyo in alarm, Sanzo already pouring a small amount of lubricant into his hand. "What happened?" he demanded.

"I dropped the damn key," Gojyo said, leaning forward so that he was almost stretched out next to Goku. "It fell behind the bed. I've almost got it..."

CRASH!

Everyone looked up as the window exploded inward and youkai fanned out in the room. The leader grinned wickedly, yellowed teeth dripping with saliva. "Prepare to die- oh. Uh... this is...huh..."

Snarling, Sanzo reached for his gun... only to have it slip out of his slicked hand. "Motherfucker! Hakkai, get him!"

Hakkai formed a ball of chi, but the youkai were already diving head first out the window they'd just made their grand entrance through.

Everyone remained frozen in the positions they were in at the start of the fight. Goku picked his head up off the pillow, mouth twisted into a little frown. "Okay... I KNOW this looks bad!"

"Great, as if we need any more rumors spread about us," Sanzo muttered. "Now we're going to have every queer from here to India hitting on us!"

"Don't they do that anyway, Your Holiness?" Gojyo teased.

"You're lucky my gun's over there, you worthless kappa!"

Hakkai sighed heavily as they continued to work to free Goku. Maybe if they were quick about it, they could track the youkai down and kill them before any rumors DID spread.


Kougaiji's eyes narrowed as the assassins came running back into Houtu Castle, eyes wide and wild. They were still alive. Sanzo would never have just let them go. If they weren't dead then maybe they actually managed to get the sutra. Something told him that wasn't the case.

As they fell to their knees before him, he crossed his arms over his chest. Yaone and Dokugakuji stood just behind him. He knew without asking they were just as confused by the return of the latest assassins as he was. "Well? Did you engage the Sanzo party?"

"Y-Yes... sort of... I mean, we kinda...," the leader babbled.

"Then give me a full report!"

The leader turned red and wouldn't meet his gaze. "My lord prince, please don't ask me to-,"

"If you fought them, I need to know what happened. Give me your report, and don't skip any details. That's a order!"

Gulping, the leader began his tale.

Later, as Kougaiji sat alone in his room, he thought back over the long and VERY detailed report the subordinate had given him. Well... that certainly answered a lot of questions!