AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter was requested by Greyliliy. If anyone else wants to put in a request, you are more than welcomed to do so! And, now, ladies and gentlemen...
"This is bullshit! I'm not sharing a room with Goku! Move it, kappa!" Sanzo slammed his hip into Gojyo's side, trying to push passed the red head into the room beyond.
"Fuck off, monk! I bought this room with my own money and I intend to sleep in it. PEACEFULLY!" Gojyo shouted back, twisting his hip around in hopes of nailing Sanzo square in the groin.
"Like hell you paid for it! That tart at the front was practically drooling on herself!"
"Hey, she was a fucking cute blonde. Unlike SOME blondes I know! Now, move it, asshole!"
"Kiss my ass!"
The two continued to struggle a bit further, Hakkai leaning against the wall across from them and not doing anything to stop it, like he normally would have. Unfortunately, today his eyes were puffy and sore, his skin a very unhealthy shade of yellow and his nose red and very raw looking. He sniffled, rubbing the back of his neck to try and ease the almost dizzying effects of the headache. He'd caught a flu strain in the last town and was now paying heavily for the fact that he'd continued to press on for as long as he did. After three deays of traveling with a headache and a cough so violent even Sanzo refused to sit up front with him, they'd been forced to stop here and let him recover.
Gojyo finally broke free, squeezing through to doorway and slamming the door in Sanzo's face, nearly taking the monk's fingers with it. "HAHA, asshole! Have fun with your monkey!"
"Eat shit and die!" Sanzo emptied his gun into the door. And when his gun was empty he gave it a violent kick, ignoring the pain in his foot as the solid door refused to budge. His gaze slid over to Hakkai and Goku, who were both leaning against the wall now. Goku's eyes were as big as plates and Hakkai looked barely conscious he was so exhausted. Damn it! If he shared a room with Hakkai, he'd be kept up by the other man coughing. If he shared a room with Goku, he'd be kept up by the kid snoring. Basically, anyway he looked at it, his rest for the evening was fucked.
"Sabzo, I'b so sorreh," Hakkai sniffled, letting out a particularly violent cough which he quickly covered with a tissue. "I tink I'b go to bed. Please seb some tea ub for meh." He dragged himself down the hallway to his room, sniffling the entire time.
Snarling, Sanzo reloaded and considered just shooting Hakkai in the back. Between driving like a maniac, getting lost and now getting sick, the man was quickly becoming a nuisance. He reconsidered this option, however, when Hakuryuu came whizzing in, cooing at his owner in concern. If it weren't for the fact he didn't want to walk to India... Sighing, he glanced over at Goku, who was grinning with big, excited eyes.
"You do anything at all to wake me up, your last meal is going to be lead, got it?" he bit out.
Goku nodded eagerly. "I promise! It's been forever since we shared a room. It'll be just like back at the temple and it'll be fun and I promise I'll be quiet and-,"
Sanzo tuned out as the dialog continued without him. He unlocked the door to their room and dropped his bag on his bed, preparing himself for another long night without any sleep.
Dinner was the usual affair. Order everything on the menu, Gojyo purposely going for the same egg roll as Goku, Goku shoving Gojyo who in turn shoves back, and Sanzo shouting death threats while whacking them with the paper fan. The only thing missing was a pleasantly sarcastic remark from Hakkai, who was currently in his room having another coughing fit. It was absolute hell... as was to be expected.
Sanzo grit his teeth, fingers shaking as he fought not to snap another cigarette in two. Gojyo kept casually stretching his long arm out and poking Goku on the far shoulder. Goku would turn to look, missing the Gojyo's chopsticks snatch out and remove a bit of steak, a chunk of shrimp, a whole dumpling. The kid would then turn back around, stare his plate for a second, look at Gojyo's and then shrug before he continued eating. Pathetic. And when the red head wasn't playing childish tricks on Goku, he was too busy flirting with the waitress to notice Goku quickly sneak items off HIS plate.
"So, you're a card player, huh?" one of the ladies purred, leaning over Gojyo's shoulder to give everyone within a twenty mile radius either a shot up her short skirt or a shot down her low top. Sanzo loudly scraped his chair away from the whores at their table. Three of them, none of them in any way attractive unless a guy happened to like dyed hair, big tits and no brains. He glared when the brunette leaned in closer to him.
"Your friend's hot, too. So, wanna get those pretty white robes a little dirty?" she said suggestively. Gods, her perfume was enough to kill a small elephant before sending the rest of the herd into a panic!
"I'd rather stab myself in the eye with a spoon, thanks," he replied none too gently.
The woman backed away with a very offended expression on her face. Good.
"Pay no attention to him, sweetie. He gets cranky when he doesn't get his nap," Gojyo quickly covered, giving her an inviting smile as he stood up. "Come on, let's you me and these other ladies all take a walk down to the nearest bar. Drinks on me. Oh, and don't wait up, guys!"
All the women squealed in delight, chattering like crazy as they surrounded him and left the inn.
Sanzo threw his chopsticks down, staring at the half eaten lo mein and wishing he'd had enough sense three years ago to have just shot the stupid kappa dead between the eyes. Fucking son of a bitch! Gojyo'd taken the last free room and now here he was not even using it because he'd be out all night with those whores. DAMN IT!
Goku slurped down the rest of his soup, setting the bowl aside and stared wistfully at Sanzo's plate. "Are you gonna eat that?" he asked, licking his lips.
Sanzo pushed the plate over. "Knock yourself out." He wasn't hungry anyway. All he could think about was the sleep he wouldn't be getting tonight. Stubbing out the cigarette, he stood up and left the table. Maybe he could get a few minutes in while Goku finished eating.
A chair scraping and hurried footsteps told him that plan just got shot straight to hell. Goku ran up beside him, wiping his mouth still. "Hey, you almost left me by myself," he laughed.
"Gee, how careless of me," he replied dryly. Gods, was it really such an extraordinary request to have his own room? He fought alongside them, fought against them, ate with them, traveled all day with them... why couldn't they understand he needed time alone and without ANY of them around? Unlocking the door, he stepped back when Goku rushed by him and into the room, flopping onto his bed and hugging his pillow tightly. He was already making happy noises, how wonderful.
"Mmm... these pillows are really nice," Goku commented sitting up to kick his shoes off.
Sanzo shut the door and went straight for the bathroom. "You've got ten minutes to get yourself settled and ready to sleep. And remember what I said earlier about any noise whatsoever!" Not that the threat was going to do much good. It was inevitable that Goku would move around or something during the night.
Sure enough, he wasn't disappointed. They were both in their own beds, Sanzo facing the door, Goku curled up in a tight ball with the covers pulled over his head. Twenty minutes went by without a moan, creak, cough, snore... nothing. He was very nearly asleep, eyes heavy and sore for want of it, when into the stillness there came...
"Meatbuns... pot stickers..." The list of food went on, intertwined with the occassional snore.
"Damn it all," he muttered, pulling the pillow over his head. If anything, that only made the noises worse. And then, the kid began his rolling around and tossing, making the bed creak and the head board thunk against the wall loudly. This was ridiculous. Here he was, ready to beg for a night's rest without interuption, sharing a room with the loudest member of their party... and the one room sitting empty tonight was occupied by an asshole who wasn't even going to use it. Damn Gojyo, damng Goku, and damn Hakkai just for good measure!
Sanzo rolled over onto his back, staring up at the cracks in the ceiling, eyes following the water stains all the way to the window frame. He winced when Goku gave a particularly violent snort, followed by the worste thing that the kid could have done then... a fart. "Shit! You little bastard," he muttered, whipping his pillow across the room to smack Goku in the head. Golden eyes parted open slightly, drool hanging from an open mouth, but Goku never woke up. Instead, he grabbed the extra pillow and muttered something about spring rolls running fast.
Great, he couldn't sleep, he couldn't breath and now he had no pillow. Of all the stupid things... Sanzo's eyes narrowed as a sudden idea came to him. There was one empty room. Yes, Gojyo was supposed to be using it, but the kappa had gone out. Usually, if Gojyo went out it was a good bet he wouldn't show up again until it was time to go. Which meant...
A slow, almost cruel, smile came to his lips as he swung himself out of bed, grabbed his stuff and headed for the door. The goddamn moron... and to think he'd be sleeping in a room the Gojyo'd paid out of pocket for. That about sealed the deal for him as he headed down the hall. When he came to the door, he tried the handle and wasn't disappointed when he found it locked. No matter, the locks on these doors weren't exactly high tech. He slid the credit card out, fit it between the locking mechanism and pulled it out slowly. The door clicked open. Excellent.
Sanzo dropped his stuff at the foot of the bed, kicking Gojyo's piece of shit bag under it for good measure, and put the gun on the table by the bed, the sutra between the mattress and the wall, his leather shirt and gloves on the floor and finally stretched out under the covers, pulling them up high and putting his back to the door. Normally, he wouldn't have turned away from the entrance, but Gojyo's room was a little different than his and it was easier to reach for the gun from this angle. Letting out a relieved sigh, he closed his eyes and welcomed the sleep that had been gnawing at him for a few days now.
Gojyo strolled back to the inn, alone for a change, but with a lot of more money than he'd started the evening. Oh, he wouldn't have minded taking any (or all) of those hotties to his bed, but he was still holding out for that cute little clerk at the desk. She'd said she'd stop by if she got out at a decent time. He didn't want to risk bringing some other women back and offending her. After all, she was the one who gave him the room to himself... at a discounted rate, too.
Humming, pockets full of cash, coins and items he could pawn off for more cash, he took the stairs two at a time, fishing his key out of his pocket. He slid the key into the lock on his room and turned... before frowning when he didn't hear the click of the lock sliding back. What the... Slowly, pushing the door open, back to the solid wood, his hand tightened in a fist, ready to punch the bastard who broke into his room. His eyes scanned the darkness, searching for youkai, for drunks, robbers... and then he gave a wicked smile when he saw someone was in his bed. All he could see from here was the basic shape and blonde hair peeking out from the covers. So, his instincts had been right, as usual! The clerk at the desk DID decide to show up after all.
Moving as quietly as he could so he didn't wake her, he pushed his boots off, dropping his jacket, his shirt and his bandana to the floor. His fingers worked the button and fly to his jeans open quickly, peeling off everything, including boxers, in one go. Once completely naked, he crept over to the bed, intent on waking the sleeping beauty up the best way he knew how. Slipping in behind her under the covers, he began to kiss her rather wide shoulders gently, hand snaking around her hip, pulling her back against him, and down further, further... until he found something very unexpected. "What the fuck?" he muttered. That was NOT something a normal woman should have!
"That's what I was going to ask, you fucking pervert! Get your goddamn hands off me!"
"WHAT! GAH, SANZO, WHAT THE FUCK!" Gojyo shoved the monk hard in the back, scrambling over so quickly he fell out of the bed, spitting any taste of the other man's skin from his mouth. He couldn't believe what had just happened. He'd just... he'd just... Gojyo couldn't even bring himself to say he'd just GROPED Sanzo. As soon as the words 'groped' and 'Sanzo' came together in his head, he began to holler even louder. "OH, MY GOD! YOU ASSHOLE!"
"I'M the asshole? YOU'RE the one who molested me," Sanzo shouted back, fighting with the sheets to get his gun. "You're dead now, kappa! Just as soon as I get my gun, you're going to- oh, fuck!" His knee slipped off the bed, lost in the tangled sheets and he ended up falling across Gojyo's waist, hands slapping against the wooden floor to keep himself from collapsing fully. Both froze when he came dangerously close to certain... areas... before, eyes widening in horror, Sanzo began to push himself away from what was greeting him. "And get that thing out of my face!"
"Then the get hell off-,"
The door thudded inward as it was kicked from it's hinges, Goku following it shortly, nyoi-bo ready for action. Hakkai was right behind him, still looking like death with a cold, and with a chi ball hovering in the air above his heads. It went out with a pop as both of them stood and gaped, jaws dropped. Goku's nyoi-bo clattered to the ground and he looked like he was ready to puke all over the floor. He raised an arm, pointing at the two sprawled across the floor, Gojyo very obviously naked and Sanzo wrapped up in the sheets so it was impossible to tell. No words or sounds came from his throat. All he did was point.
Hakkai, without taking his eyes from the display or the obvious rage ready to explode from Sanzo, reached over and covered Goku's eyes with one hand while prying his arm down with the other. "Let's... let's go, Goku. I think we misunderstood the situation."
"B-But, Hakkai! Did you SEE... and it was Gojyo... and Sanzo... and THEM..." Goku stuttered out.
Hakkai came back, face beet red, and picked the door up, settling it back roughly in it's rightful place. "Goodnight... I guess," he called in.
Once the two were gone, Goku still babbling incoherently, Gojyo covered his eyes with his hand and started to snicker. "It's actually pretty funny when you think about it," he commented, still laughing.
"Here's something else that's funny," Sanzo snarled.
Gojyo pulled his hand away in time for Sanzo's fist to connect with his jaw. "OW! MOTHERFUCKER!" A foot dug into his side as Sanzo struggled to get himself back on the bed.
"Put some clothing on, you goddamn pervert! And get the hell out!" he ordered before getting as comfortable as he could get with a naked, groping kappa groaning on the floor. Great, not only did he have to watch his back for enemies, now he had to watch this bastard to protect his virtue. What a wonderfully fun night!
