Buried under reams of paper, hounded by college professors, and constantly wondering where the next meal will come from. This is the life of a fan fiction writer, but is it any excuse?

Iron Ranma Omake One!

-The Author is a Dirty Slacker!-

Genma and Ranma sat beneath a great open sky deep in the woods of China. A fires crackled merrily in their pit while above it roasted a pair of rabbits that Ranma had caught himself. He was so engrossed in turning the spit to make sure all sides got cooked evenly that he started jerkily when his father's voice rumbled out a question.

"Boy, Doesn't it seem odd to you that we're out here, in the woods like this?"

Ranma turned towards his father and blinked in confusion. Since when had it been his responsibility to think of things like that? At eleven the only important things to Ranma were martial arts and where his next meal was coming from. Still he figured it would be better to just humor his father rather than get into an argument. Besides that it would likely end up in more training tomorrow for Ranma if he got snide tonight. Thinking over the proper responses and decided on the most intelligent one, Ranma rejoined with "Wha?"

Genma shook his head dejectedly. All the months he had spent trying to teach the boy to sense the world around him had obviously not taken. Genma rose from his place beside the fire and took a few steps towards the darkness before he continued.

"The fact is, Ranma, something about this seems very unnatural."

"Aw give it a rest pops, jes sit down and eat yer dinner, it's done."

Genma sighed and returned to the fire, then swiftly removed a hare from the spit and shoved it onto another stick, then he began to eat. The two Saotomes sat in silence eating contentedly, but when a twig snapped in the darkness both were immediately on their feet, ready to face whatever was coming for them. More than one traveler had met his demise by being incautious during the night, and neither martial artist planned on being taken by surprise. No amount of preparation could have prepared them for what came out of the forest, however.

A teenaged Japanese girl, likely around sixteen years old and carrying a pot of something indescribably putrid, skipped out of the woods and merrily said, "Ranma, I've made you dinner!"

Ranma had never seen this girl before in his entire life, but the only thing he could think to respond with was also the most likely to wind up angering the girl. Unfortunately for him, at eleven years old he wasn't terribly concerned with a girl's feelings. Especially not one he'd just met that was implying he was to eat whatever toxins were in that pot.

And so with a great bellow he proclaimed, "OH hell no I ain't eating none of that you freaky crazy kitchen destroyin' psycho!"

A vein seemed to throb in the girl's head and she dropped the pot, which rolled to one side and began to bubble suspiciously. Suddenly a large wooden mallet of indescribable proportions seemed to materialize in the clenched fist of her right hand. As it did she gazed at Ranma with a burning intensity that set his knees week. And so it was that he was completely unable to dodge when the girl swung her mallet in a beautiful imitation of a major league baseball player and caught Ranma right on the chin.

Her cry of, "Ranma, you idiot!" resounded through the night. Ranma made nary a noise as he sailed through the darkness.

Genma stared at the girl in horror and said the only thing that he thought would save his pitiful life.

"Would you care for some rabbit?'

The girl smiled cheerfully and nodded, then skipped over to the fire and sat down.

"I'd love some! Do you have any salt?"

Ranma woke with a scream that startled his roommates and neighbors alike. He looked around himself in wide-eyed fright and took in his surroundings. He remembered now that he was in the dormitories of St.Mary's Boy's school, and that tomorrow he was scheduled to take a test to see if he would be enrolled permanently or not. His roommates, which had been assigned to him in response to his earlier fight, muttered very unpleasant things about his parentage then rolled over and tried to get back to sleep. Ranma followed suit but couldn't stop thinking about the nightmare. The horrible poison coming at him, the blood-chilling smile on the girl's face, and the sheer force of her hits.

Ranma rolled over and and began to repeat a mantra to himself to help him sleep. As he drifted off he continued to mutter, "It was just a dream, ain't nobody like that on earth. It was just a dream, ain't nobody like that on earth".

Sweet dreams, Saotome Ranma.

-Author's Notes!-

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I swear I'm working on the next chapter! Please don't hate me!