I'm very grateful, you know. I have wonderful readers who review and encourage me to keep going, so thank you. I also have a very busy lady who finds time for me somehow. It's truly appreciated, Ipsita.


Our guide for the next two days is waiting when we come downstairs. Masen recognizes Stefan instantly, shaking hands and introducing us. They've been in contact for months, planning Stefan's family vacation to Australia in return for a customized tour for us. I've had minimal input, leaving it to the experts who do this for a living.

As they exchange new year's greetings, I'm reminded of my own new year's morning, waking up to a man who was horny and impossible to resist.

Our day starts with a ferry to a tiny archipelago where the historic Swedish-built fortress of Suomenlinna once protected the city. Stefan tells us the Finns fought hard to keep their identity during years of Swedish and Russian rule. The Finnish national movement produced a civil war that culminated in independence and radical parliamentary reform, and he proudly proclaims that their women were the first in Europe to gain the right to vote.

With no snow and temperatures around zero, we arrive at Suomenlinna under a clear blue sky. Passing colored timber houses that look like they've remained unchanged for a century, we stroll across bridges connecting the islands, and take the spectacular trek to the fort, stopping to marvel at little inlets with rocky outcrops and speed boats out on the water for the holiday. We come across bunkers, hobbit-like houses built into mounds of earth, camouflaged with winter-burnt grass on their roofs. When we finally reach the historic guns and explore the rabbit warren of the fortress itself, I wonder if these people realize how lucky they are to have a World Heritage site so close to their city, especially when there's no charge to see it.

Coming back on the ferry, the view of Helsinki from the harbor is breathtaking, and we're soon in Stefan's car for a drive past the major attractions of the city. Many of them are closed today, but we can visit the Rock Church, built from the winning entry in a major design competition. When we enter, it's honestly hard to know where to look. Much of the church is excavated directly into rock while other walls resemble those of the fortress of Suomenlinna. They support a structure of long skinny windows that ascend to a dome made of copper. I would have liked to stay a little longer, but we have more to see before the sun sets at four.

The Sibelius Monument is a piece of abstract art, made of six hundred vertical pipes, dedicated to the Finnish composer, Jean Sibelius. It was a controversial addition to the city in 1969, and although many locals say it's a waste of space, it still reigns as the most visited monument in the city.

Our final stop is Regatta, and I was anticipating a museum dedicated to the history of boat racing. We park next to the water, seeing the name on a little red cottage, and Stefan explains it was a shed storing fishing nets until Cafe Regatta was born in 2002. It's touristy with its red picket fence and outdoor tables, a ship's steering wheel above the door, and an axe for the door handle. Inside is a bygone era of ships' paraphernalia, antique skis and ice skates hanging from the rafters, walls lined with a mishmash of old paintings, high shelves crammed with vintage coffee making contraptions, and rows of white teapots, many in the shape of swans. When I ask about them, Stefan says the swan is the national bird of Finland.

The few tables inside are taken, but I could happily stand in here all day.

It smells exactly like Christmas.

"Try the cinnamon buns," Stefan recommends. "They're legendary."

"Yes, please." The aroma is already making my mouth water.

Masen orders the buns, hot chocolates, and … sausages?

He responds to my frown. "We cook them over the fire outside."

"Yum!" I'm liking Regatta more every minute.

Even without the fluffy cream and marshmallows piled on top, it might be the best hot chocolate I've ever had. Masen kisses cream off my upper lip, and I'm grinning, stuffing my face with the last of my cinnamon bun while haphazardly waving a sausage on a long prong over the fire pit. This odd little place is an unexpected delight.

"Whose idea was it to come here?" I ask, expecting Stefan to take credit.

Masen's smile fades instantly. "Emmett told me about it, actually."

I measure my response because it's been another whole day without any news.

"Well, now I know I will like him."

Masen's expression softens. "They're planning to come to Alice Springs to visit us."

"That will be an amazing memory to share together," I declare, sincerely meaning it.

He pulls me against him, and we lock eyes. For those few seconds, it feels like there's nothing else in the world but the two of us.

"I love you," he whispers, his smile easier, a little more like the one I know and love.

Once it starts getting dark, it's so pretty adorned with Christmas lights, but too cold to remain outside, even standing near the fire, and Stefan suggests a drink to end our day.

I feel under-dressed when I hear Stefan calling ahead to reserve a table. Goldfish is next door to the Helsinki Design Museum, not part of our two days together, but somewhere Stefan recommends we visit before we leave. Inside, it's swanky, and the cocktails menu assumes a level of sophistication I don't actually possess. I can't imagine vodka with beetroot and ginger, or salty liquorice and lemon, and I'm confused about why anyone would combine tequila, agave, and chicken stock. Rather than put the waiter through the chore of explaining the menu, I decide to order champagne. As soon as Stefan snaps his menu shut, I ask about the legal drinking age in Finland.

"At eighteen you can buy beer, wine, and cider. In fact, they are readily available in most supermarkets. By twenty, you can purchase without restriction from an Alko."

"What?" Masen looks shocked and confused.

"It's a monopoly, a government-owned business."

Masen seems even more bewildered and stares at Stefan before speaking. "You only have one sort of bottle-o?"

"Bottle oh?" Stefan looks at me to translate.

I shrug. "I know, and I'm about to go live there."

"Bottle shop," Masen states, as if that clarifies anything.

"Liquor store," I explain, and then we're back to normal.

Masen shakes his head. "I'm used to alco being slang for alcoholic. Sorry … I just—"

"Would you like to order?" our waiter asks, and Masen puts his hand out for me to go first.

"Just a glass of champagne, please." My companions look surprised, and I feel myself blush.

The waiter looks at Stefan, who orders with one word, "Patron."

"What is Barsol Pisco?" Masen asks, and the waiter details the features of the Peruvian brandy. With a grimace, Masen says it might be too sweet for him and asks if Talisker is whiskey.

"Ten-year-old single malt from the Isle of Skye," the man states proudly, as if he distilled it himself.

"Bewdy." Masen holds up two thumbs. "That's what I'll have."

All of a sudden, I feel the urge to experiment. "Would you mind very much if I change my order?" I know I don't need to ask if my request will inconvenience him, but I hate to be that pain-in-the-ass customer. He shakes his head, offering a smile. "I like the sound of that Peruvian brandy, and I love blood orange."

We go with Stefan's choices for snacks and run through the plan for tomorrow. He reminds us we need to leave by eight if we're going to return in time for our sauna before dark. I really hope Masen will dip in the ocean at least once because it might be his only opportunity.

My cocktail is delicious, but Stefan is expected home for dinner, so he offers to drive us back to the apartment. Masen asks if I'd like to stay for another.

"Why not?" I reply, enjoying the feeling of warmth in my cheeks. We agree to catch a train back to Kamppi and meet out front in the morning.

Another cocktail turns into two, and Masen holds me close for the ride back on the train. Then he drags me into a supermarket near the metro station to buy bread rolls.

We're both tipsy, but it's him who takes over dinner, and I love him for raving over my home-made soup.

-0-

It's the middle of the night when I wake to Masen's muted voice. The bedroom door is closed, but there's a crack of light coming through underneath. Listening carefully, I hear him say, "Okay, Mom, text me when you get to Melbourne," prompting a memory of another time when it was me on the phone with my mother.

"Call me when you make it to Phoenix."

Mom had only been back in Anchorage for a week when her father died. She was devastated she missed his passing, but Grandpa was old and sick at the end of a long life.

This is more like finding out Tanya died—young, vibrant lives ending too soon—and it's worse, somehow, knowing they all succumbed to fire. I imagine the family gathering, coming to support Sue and Harry through this terrible time. Rose is their only daughter, their entire future, and the thought brings tears to my eyes. Masen has no siblings and only one cousin. If the worst has happened, he will want to be home for the funeral.

I hear him sigh heavily and switch off the light before he opens the door, then I watch his silhouette against the dim glow from the windows. He sits on the bed in silence, and I'm glad I can't see what he looks like with his heart broken. I don't want to ask how they found them, whether they could have made a different choice and survived, or if they have a date for the funeral because he'll offer to fly home on his own. He won't believe that going back together is more important than any trip to Lapland.

If it weren't for the dreams where Tanya keeps calling me back, I would have put this behind me long ago. She has always shown me a place in the snow when she invades my subconscious, and over the last year, the frequency of the dreams has increased to the point where I've felt a new sense of urgency.

I don't know what gives me away, but he turns to me suddenly. "Sorry, baby, I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's okay. You were on the phone?"

"Mom's on her way to Melbourne."

I nod, accepting the inevitable announcement.

"Sue needs her support. It's been five days now."

"So, there's no news?" I brighten.

Shaking his head slowly, he replies, "Only that they're surrounded by new fires with another heatwave on the way."

So relieved I jumped to the wrong conclusion, I want to say something to reassure him, but I don't know what I'm talking about. At least he gets into bed and wraps me up in his arms, so it feels like he's turned a corner, no longer bearing this alone, accepting I'm here for him no matter what happens.

January 2nd, 2020 - Porvoo, Finland

It takes an hour to drive to Porvoo, and the lack of snow on the ground ignites a conversation about climate change and if we still have time to reverse the damage already done. It's annoying when Stefan asks me to explain how there are leaders in the United States who still deny it's reality, as if he thinks the problem could be solved by any one nation.

There is more alarming news from Australia—fires on the south coast of New South Wales are now trapping holiday makers who failed to evacuate. Supermarket shelves in many coastal towns are empty, and there are long lines of cars waiting for the arrival of tankers at gas stations so they can fill up and get out as soon as it's safe.

Stefan is horrified by the size of the fires, angry that people have put the lives of their families in such jeopardy.

Masen tries to explain that Australians are accustomed to bushfires at Christmas time, even in places where they vacation regularly. It's just that this year is unlike anything they've experienced before.

"I thought your indigenous people protected the land from these fires. Why didn't they use their cool burns this year?"

Masen looks out the window, and I wonder if he'll try to defend them.

"It's complicated, mate. Few Aboriginals have the knowledge these days, and introduced species have made an impact on the environment's balance. The cool burn you are talking about is only successful in well-maintained forests, and since the conservationists and timber industry can't agree on thinning out and removing built-up fuel, the drought and high temperatures meant it was only a matter of time."

Stefan shakes his head as if he doesn't approve. "It's hard to believe your aborigines don't teach this for survival. The Sami people would have died out if they didn't pass on this kind of vital knowledge. Did you know they are one of the oldest civilizations in the world, surviving in the Arctic for three thousand years?"

Masen runs his fingers through his hair, hesitating to answer. We are both very aware how little the world knows of the long history of the Australian Aboriginals, and I steer the conversation away before we embarrass our guide.

"Did Masen tell you we had his DNA tested last year, and learned he has Norwegian ancestors?"

"Really?" he reacts the same way we did when we saw the results.

"My father," Masen explains.

"His people migrated from Norway to Britain," I add.

"Vikings." Stefan supposes.

Masen nods. "I'm Norwegian, Scottish, and Australian."

I keep Stefan entertained for the rest of the drive by explaining how we are using improved science to track significant migrations for our documentary.

-0-

The medieval town of Porvoo is not laden with snow like the postcard pictures I've seen, but it's still pretty with its colored buildings decked out in Christmas regalia. After a history lesson while we wander around the charming old town, we visit the Art Factory, a former industrial complex, now the town's creative hub with artists demonstrating their crafts. We have lunch there, enjoying a rustic meal with a group of people sharing stories from their travels around Finland and Europe.

One couple has just been married near where we are staying in Lapland, and as they describe their romantic nuptials, Masen takes my hand and squeezes it. I think he will say yes when I ask him, and I'm now sorry I didn't do so while reading about wedding options when I booked the resort. He might have gone for the idea of eloping in Lapland, especially when it's going to be difficult to get both fathers in one place for our wedding, but it's too late now.

Ten kilometers from Porvoo, we enter a world of smoking teepees and stunning wilderness. We've come here for the oxygen and the zipline through the forest, but Stefan doesn't prepare us for the shock of the sudden drop or the speed that leaves me with jelly legs at the end. Masen is fuming, but when I assure him I'm fine and ask him not to say anything, he vows to inject a little adrenalin into Stefan's Australian itinerary.

I dare to ask what that means, and he states that the deadly coastal taipan has enough venom to kill a hundred people and looks just like a harmless children's python to the untrained eye. When I hear the mischief in his chuckle, I don't want to know anything about it. If he ever comes near me with a snake, even one he deems harmless, I will completely freak out.

As we approach the outskirts of Helsinki, I'm becoming excited for our sauna. Although I won't try to force him, I really want Masen to embrace the experience. The first time I was faced with frigid water, it took me so long to summon the courage that I ended up back in the sauna as the loser who didn't jump in, and I don't want that for Masen. I suspect he will try to avoid it, but he'll feel incredible, physically and mentally, when it's over, and I know it will distract him for a while.

Löyly Helsinki is right on the water, another architectural statement clad with horizontal slats of wood, only these have gaps to see inside. It looks more like a concert hall than a public sauna with a triangular archway running through its middle, creating a dramatic frame for the view of the harbor behind.

Unfortunately, this is where we say goodbye to Stefan. I've thanked him for every piece of advice he's given us for the rest of our trip, so all that's left is a hug and to tell him we'll see him in Australia.

Inside, the girl on the counter delivers our instructions in perfect English. We must leave our jackets and shoes in a closet. There is no nudity in this public sauna, and there are separate changing rooms for women and men. Once we have deposited our clothes in our lockers, we are to use the communal area to shower before we enter a sauna. Agreeing to their conditions, we pay our money, and receive a regular towel and a smaller one to sit on, along with a key to our lockers.

The wooden slats are not actually cladding the building. They are a separate entity altogether, angling out over rooms made of glass. There's light coming in, but I'd love to see this on a lazy summer's afternoon. While it's ultra-modern, there's something old and barn-like that appeals to me.

Four people are already seated when we enter our sauna, and I'm glad the heat is dry. It's uncomfortable when nobody speaks, but Masen leans back as if he's in heaven. Our silent companions don't stay long, and we're soon on our own.

"Finns." He shakes his head when they go. "Emmett said they're very reserved."

"Kind of an odd situation for strangers, I suppose." I've only been in private saunas in Alaska, so this is just as new for me.

Running the back of his hand down my cheek, he adds, "He also said I'd get strange looks if I kiss you in public, but I haven't noticed if that's true so far." He follows with a kiss that is about to out-steam a sauna when an older man enters, wearing a pair of knee-length board shorts and a beanie. He looks like a regular, glancing at us briefly before ladling water onto the stones, and it doesn't take long before it's so hot I can't stand it.

"Do you want to go outside?" I ask, not mentioning the cold water.

"Yeah." Masen is glistening, looking so delectable I could lick the sweat off him. It's going to be a test keeping my thoughts on the job while we're filming him in the heat of the outback.

When we open an outer door, the cold sears my skin as much as the heat of the sauna.

"I'm going in," I announce, hoping he'll follow. Leaving my towels on the railing, I walk down the stairs, and it really does look cold. In the next few weeks, this will probably freeze over.

I'm not one for the torture of lowering slowly down a ladder. It's all or nothing, so I leap in, gasping and trying not to curse too loudly.

Masen jumps in and starts to holler. Yes, it is freezing, and he's allowed to yell when I'm so happy I didn't even need to coax him.

We're out of the water quickly and back in the sauna. It's empty when Masen sits down and says, "Bloody hell!"

"I know," I reply, tipping just a little water onto the stones. I want to build the heat gradually after the chill.

"This heat is fantastic," he says, leaning back and closing his eyes. I ogle him for a couple of minutes before he opens them. "And when it gets too hot, we do it again?"

"Yes." I don't add that he doesn't have to, but I love him for doing this for my benefit, and I will always remember that if things had been different, the perfect moment to propose happened in a sauna in Helsinki.

I'm not that disappointed since I feel like there will be another opportunity when we get to Lapland, once we know Rose and Emmett are safe, and I can't help but wonder if Tanya has been urging me to bring Masen with me. I haven't had a dream for weeks now, so maybe she's giving her blessing to embrace my future with him, but it doesn't explain why we had to come here.

"Ready for another dip in the Baltic?" Masen's request brings me out of my thoughts, and I nod and take his hand. This time, we plunge into the icy water together.

We have dinner at Löyly's restaurant, enjoying the lights across the water, and feeling energized from the sauna. Masen checks his phone when it pings, and after reading for a few seconds, his face lights up as he looks at me.

"There's a new post on Facebook. Rose sent a text to their friends in Mallacoota yesterday to see if they were okay."

I feel the air suck into my lungs. "So, they're alive?"

"It means they survived New Year's Eve, but I wouldn't assume they're out of danger when it's the beginning of January and still hasn't rained."

I would accuse him of being pessimistic, but every day there are more fires on the news, and I will never forget that evil sky and the images of a whole community stranded on the beach. We also don't know why Rose chose to send a text to friends but not let the family know they were alive.

"Why didn't they post this yesterday?" I ask, feeling annoyed there's no clear outcome.

"Apparently, they didn't realize we were worried until they checked Rose's Facebook."

He shows me an image of people in masks and life jackets, lined up on the beach and boarding some kind of landing craft. A gray ship waits a little out to sea.

"The road into Mallacoota is still closed, so the Navy is evacuating them to Melbourne."

"Wow," is all I have because it's like a report from a war zone.

-0-

I roll onto my back and stretch, inhaling the fresh scent of the man beside me, and giggle when Masen plants a dozen kisses on my face. He's already dressed, and it's daylight, so it's after nine o'clock and I've slept late on our last full day in Helsinki! When I try to get up, he pins me down.

"Relax."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Don't worry about the time."

"Are you angry?"

"No, but I want to talk to you."

"All right." Maybe he's more disappointed than angry, but he has every right to chastise me when I could have easily set an alarm. I need to get my act together if I expect my team in Australia to get up on time.

"You really do love me, don't you?"

This was not what I was expecting, and without knowing what's behind the question, I'm cautious.

"You know I do."

"And you're deadly serious about us?"

I hate that he's still not sure of me after I've apologized repeatedly for my insensitivity, so I touch his cheek tenderly.

"You don't think the whole moving to Australia thing kinda gives me away?"

He sighs and snuggles up to me, as if he's settling something within himself, but I suspect it will take time for me to completely regain his trust.

"Do we have free cancellation in Turku?"

This doesn't sound good. "Of course. You trained me not to book any other way."

"Remind me why we are going there again?"

I don't know what's going on here when it sounds like he wants to change our plans.

"Finland's oldest city, buildings from the original capital, the Museum of History and Contemporary Art, a fourteenth century castle, and an incredible walk along the river dotted with amazing modern sculptures."

"It's a three-kilometer walk."

Bringing that up doesn't make sense when he takes people hiking in the mountains for a living.

"We can hire bikes if you prefer."

"The forecast is for minus two and gusty."

"You know, it's not really cold unless it's negative Fahrenheit."

He narrows his eyes as if he doesn't appreciate the joke, but I'm not finished defending something he agreed to months ago.

"What about the Turku Market Hall—the salmon tasting you wanted to do?"

"Helsinki has market halls, too, and we have a lot to cover if we're going to see the rest of this city in one day."

And I've made it worse by oversleeping. Four nights seemed like enough when we were planning this trip, cramming in the places on our must-see lists. I did want to go to the southwestern part of Finland, but we are only here because of my need to find out why Tanya keeps calling me back to Lapland.

"How do you feel about giving Turku a miss while it's so bloody cold?"

"This might be our only trip to Finland, Masen."

"We could come back another year in the summer and spend a little longer. Then we'd be having drinks under the shade of the trees on that river. I'd like to get out on the water and sail around the islands—even see some of the Norwegian coastline."

The fact that Masen can sail and has a connection to Norway makes me imagine an incredible vacation, and I need to be flexible if I expect him to marry me.

"Plus, I reckon Emmett might like to join us with his wife this time … especially since Mom called this morning to say Sue has heard from Rose … and they're fine."

"Serious?" I ask, and he answers with an enormous smile.

I have so many questions, but he can only confirm they never did evacuate and that they have only just gotten back power and phone service. The grin says he's been dying to tell me for hours.

"I just want to say you've been wonderful, Bella. While I've been in a shitty mood ever since I arrived, you've been nothing but patient with me."

I play with his curls. "I think you handled it really well, actually."

"You didn't push me to talk or face the worst when I wasn't ready. I don't think I could love you more than I do."

I hug him, knowing my naked enthusiasm sends a stronger message than a thousand words ever could.

"Anyway, I've been thinking how life is short, so we should at least ask for what we want. We're very comfortable in this apartment, and we've got it for the whole week, so I'd like to stay and see the city without having to rush around like lunatics. We'll also be here for Lux."

I knew Masen was disappointed we were going to miss Lux, but he never made a big deal out of it. Sydney has a similar festival of light that transforms the city's buildings and spaces into urban art, and he raved when he sent me his photos last year. It didn't occur to me to shift our dates so we could fit in this thing he wanted, and I should have considered him enough to at least try to compromise. Now, it's a three-hour train trip to Turku, and another hour if we go on to Naantali. There's a good chance he will hate it if it's freezing and windy. Coming back in summer sounds like a great alternative, and I like his new philosophy. It's honest and encourages us both to ask for what we want.

"Okay."

"Really?"

I'm ashamed by how much his face lights up. "Yeah, I would love to stay longer in the Design Museum and have time to linger over the salmon tasting. We could even visit some breweries!"

"I'm up for all that." He smiles and goes for my neck, and I suddenly don't care if we go out at all today.

"As you say, Masen, we are very comfortable here."

"I don't want to give up this bed in a hurry." He palms my breast and kisses me. My moan and leg wrapping around him will have to show I'm in complete agreement, because I am not surrendering his lips to respond.

Thanks for reading xo

Some of you have been justifiably worrying about Rose and Em, and it didn't take much to end the chapter a little later to put you out of your misery. It has also defined the next chapter more - one you're going to love :)