I know I have imperfections, but who doesn't? Yes, that's what I'll keep telling myself,'who doesn't.' Because somehow those two words, make me seem like a goddess. Why yes, I stick a syringe in my arm about every night. But I haven't killed anyone, no, my doing is far better then that. I should be happy that my flaws are so, minor. Shouldn't I? You keep telling yourself that Ellie Nash. Everything's going to be okay.
-------------
I look in the mirror. I am begining to relize...my imperfectness...was far greater then imagined.'Why is it, we only see flaws in other people, greater-so then we do in ourselves Elle.' I began to think for once in the past six months. Yes, herion, exactly six months ago we met. I befriended Alex after the break up between her and Paige. Oh you caused some crazy shit didn't you herion? My first use of you, my first great sex with a woman, the first time my nostrals burned from a substance other then smell. Oh but now herion you have mature into that little syringe. I again have to wear long sleeves because of a dirty habit I shouldn't do. Fuck you herion. I quit. I quit you, I quit cocaine, I quit everything.
I hear a knock at my door as I am observing myself. It's Alex. She leans in and kisses me while I give her nothing in return.
She pulls back and rolls her eyes, "Oh great, more Ellie drama..." She invites herself in and plops down on my couch. I sit and stare out the doorway for a moment. I then pull the door shut, and sit next to her.
For a few moments it's nothing but a complete awkward silence. The she interupts, "So...are you going to tell me what's going on or sit there like a whiney bitch?" Uh, she said in that 'Alex way', that I was more then tired of.
"When you dated Paige," she rolls her eyes as I begin, "did you ever make her do..drugs?"
She gave me this look like she was about to kill me. "I can't make either of you do anything. You do it yourselfs. So don't blame me if your fucking up your life! Okay!" She gets up immediatly and walks to the door. I follow her and grab her shoulder.
"Alex, I love you too much to blame you for anything cause by myself," I say staring into her intense blue eyes. They weren't softening up any.
"But let me guess, this morning you woke up and had a great conclusion about yourself?" She continues, "Now stop me if I am wrong here, please. Now during this conclusion you wrapped up every possible bad summary about me? And thought, why don't I change the both of us? Well, Ellie, I will tell you the reason I first fell in love with those big hazel eyes of yours. You never wanted me to change. You never changed yourself, though people wanted you to. But now, oh god now, you've turned into one of those people Ellie, haven't you?" Her rage stops, and she looks at me as if she were hurt.
I stumble on my words trying to pronouce the right words, "No...no, it's not that. I was just going to see, if Paige, would sell us anything..." I lied.
"Ellie Nash, you are one of the worst liars. But damn well one of the hottest," she slamms the door behind her. "Here, I got some rolls for us from Chris. The best E, you will ever take. Open wide," I stick out my tounge as she places the drug on top. Soon my night seem so much better!
I dance the night away with Alex. Kisses exchanged, screams of joy popping our ears, drinking the wine, and playing with the glow sticks that seemed to be more vibrant then ever. I had never been this high. Ever.
The next morning, the high turned out to be the lowest low I had dug myself into.
----REVIEW DAMN YOU!----
