Doo Wah Diddy, Diddy Dum, Diddy Doo

An Inuyasha Fanfiction by

Tea Party Hell © Productions

Part 6 The Awful Truth

Kagome's voice, hell, Kagome's breath goes silent. Inuyasha leans anxiously over her, his muscles tense and his fingers clawing into the sheets. Kagome slowly raises her arms and touches the sides of his face.

"I…don't…understand." Inuyasha says nothing. "Inu-yasha…Inu-yasha…Inu-yasha what is it that you mean-" Just then he shoots from the bed and puts his hands on his hips.

"Okay look, Kagome, before we continue this little moment here, I've got something to tell you about all of this "Inu-yasha" shit." Suddenly Kagome perks up.

"Huh?"

"You heard me." His covers his mouth with his hand in thought, and curls it in to gather his lips, then looks back up to her. "Look…This "Inu-yasha, Inu-yasha" stuff has got to stop." He shakes his head tragically. About time somebody said it! "A-a-a-and it's not just me who's annoyed by it. I mean seriously. Everybody thinks it's retarded, even Shippo. He just doesn't talk about how he feels until you leave."

"What!"

"Don't do it anymore." He says girlishly.

"What!"

"It's lame."

"Inu-"

"Nope."

"But Inu-"

"NOPE!" She stands up angrily and clenches her fists.

"I-nu-"

"AAAAOAOAJJHHAHAIWEIOP!" Kagome pauses, glaring with fury into Inuyasha's content eyes.

"What has come over y-"

"OOPE!" They pause again. "Sorry. I thought you were gonna shout my name again. What?" Kagome crosses her arms.

"What has come over you." She shakes her head a few times. "You're not acting like the man I love. At all."

"You have no idea who you love, Kagome…" Inuyasha chuckles a little. This has really pushed Kagome's buttons now. Oh my God. Inuyasha is my new hero.

"What does that mean?" Inuyasha takes a moment to think, turns away from her and admires the girlish items over her desk, and then swiftly makes a turn with poise back towards her, leaning against a chair.

"Just as it is. You don't know me, Kagome."

"But Inu-"

"Aaaaaahhpe!" Inuyasha shouts. She cuts mid-sentence.

"Sorry…it's a habit…" Her eyes wander around her room, filling with unexpected tears. She turns away hastily. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry! It's just…I don't understand what's going on." She shoots back to face Inuyasha, her hair sweeping past her back. "What are you doing here telling me these things?" Just then, she gets a sudden bout of courage and marches right up to him, tugging him by the tendrils. "And what in God's name do you mean when you say you want to eat me! Because let me tell you something, Inu-yasha-" Inuyasha lifts his fingers and slightly opens his mouth to remind her of her habit, but she continues on restlessly. "If you're trying to have sex with me, that is extremely tactless and I thought you knew by now that I'm not ready!" Just then, Inuyasha turns his face up to the ceiling, though her hands are still tugging at his hair.

"Goooood!" He says playfully. After a pause, the deep manly voice speaks again.

"Sorryyy…I only did what I thought was necessary. Okay now it's back to normal." God says. Inuyasha looks back to Kagome's tear-stricken face.

"Inu-yasha, I-I-I can't have sex with you! It's baaaad!" She shrieks. Inuyasha smiles smugly at the return of Kagome's intellect.

"Well then you're in luck, my dear. Because I do not want to have sex with you."

"Well then…then what did you mean!"
"Kagome Kagome Kagome…you need to start thinking like a guy. Take it as it is." He untangles himself from her grasp and leans against the door. "I meant completely what I literally said, just like all the other times I opened my mouth. Women and their complications…" Kagome begins to breath harshly. She leans up against her bed and they stare at each other from across the room. "I wanna eat you. I want to pull a nice Sagawa of my own. Now bend over and I'll go get a fork-" Inuyasha opens up the door and sprints out into the hallway, while Kagome, panic-stricken, and with a hand over her heart, freezes in fear.

(AUTHOR'S NOTE: Yeah. You're probably wondering about 'Sagawa' so let me explain. Issei Sagawa is one of the most well known cannibals in Japan, in fact, he is known as the "Godfather of Cannibalism" to (presumably) the Japanese public. However, I am not a mentally-ill being who finds enjoyment in writing about grisly matters such as the process of cannibalism, so if you're squeamish and worried this story is about to get sick, I promise that it ISN'T!