Chapter 13: You Can't Control Reality
A/N: same thing with the italic thing again. It's Meredith's thoughts :P
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"So it's true?" asked Emily quietly
No the Chief just called us to tell us a little lie! NO SHIT IT'S AL TRUE "Yes, all of it. Every last piece of it," answered Meredith just as quiet. The two doctors walked down the hall of SG at10 at night.
"I never-
"Hey, Em, can we talk about this later. It's been a long day and you better get some sleep. 48 hours is a long time," said Meredith, trying to avoid the subject
"Uh, okay,"
"Trust me, Chris-uh Dr. Yang is already going to be a bitch tomorrow, you don't want to make her even more mad,"
Emily just laughed. Meredith turned the corner and found the nearest on-call room. She knew that she should be checking on her interns, but she was just too tired. She had been yelled out, she had yelled at people, it was just a yelling day. If Derek is in here, then I will personally kill myself. Luckily the room was empty. Wow that's one good thing that's happened today. Meredith flopped down on the bed and closed her eyes. As luck would have it someone came knocking on the door.
"IF THAT'S DEREK, IZZY, GEROGE, OR ALEX GO THE HELL AWAY!"
"Save your breath Grey!"
Meredith bolted out of bed at the sound of Bailey's voice.
"Relax, you're not an intern anymore. I just came looking for you. I've gone around to the other pathetic former interns. Now it's your turn,"
"No offense Dr. Bailey but can we do this later?"
"Grey, don't you think I rather be sleeping than checking up on you. Now: 1. What did the Chief of Surgery want?"
"Dr. Bailey-"
"Grey if you don't tell me, I'll find out,"
Meredith sighed a deep sigh. "I had a fight with Addison Montgomery this afternoon. I was taking my intern down to the CT scan and she started to verbally attack me. She told on me and Chief called me in. Don't worry, it's her job on the line. Even though I was the intern sleeping with the attending, she shouldn't be abusing me like that."
"Okay, I trust you on that. Now that's not all he wanted you for. Spill Grey."
"Dr. Bailey,"
"GREY!"
"My half-sister is a new intern here. He called us in to talk about each other and our mother. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Hmmm. Grey, I knew your half sister was an intern here. I gave her to Yang, because I knew that you didn't need anymore stress than you can handle. So I gave you little miss 'I faint at the sight of blood!' Honestly do you think Christina Yang could handle her?" Bailey and Meredith exploded into laughter.
"Now, for the real test. What was your first day like?"
Meredith gave her the 'are you serious?' look. "Honestly? I have no clue how you did it? I practically yelled myself hoarse. How did you handle it? Especially with us?"
Bailey just smiled. "Good night Grey," Meredith laughed as her former resident left
"Good night Dr. Bailey," Meredith fell back on her bed, and fell asleep instantly.
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Meredith woke up to the sound of her pager and a harsh knock at the door. She groaned and got up reluctantly. God what does a person have to do around here to get some sleep? She checked her pager and suddenly she was wide-awake. She wrenched open the door to see George standing there, shocked.
"Tell me on the run," she said quickly
"It's Samantha Green,"
"Where the hell do you think I'm going George? For a mid-night snack?"
"Okay, sorry Mer. It's just that, she flat lined. Derek is trying everything that he can to bring her back,"
Meredith stopped suddenly and grabbed the front of George's scrubs.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"
"MEREDITH LET HIM GO!" Meredith turned to see Izzy running towards her, but she didn't loosen the grip on George,
"Mer, please, just put me down and-"
"And what? You'll go run with me to my dead intern's side and tell me everything is going to be okay? GEROGE DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HELL MY LIFE IS LIKE?"
"MEREIDTH!"
"WHAT?"
"PUT HIM DOWN!" Finally Meredith realized what she was doing and set George down. She fell on the floor and broke into tears
"I'm so sorry George. I really am. I'm just so sorry," Meredith curled up against the wall and bawled. Izzy kneeled next to her comforting her friend,
"George can you go get Dr. Shepherd please and Bailey?"
George nodded and walked off.
"Oh Mer," Izzy whispered as she hugged her miserable friend, "I'm so sorry,"
"It's not your fault. First my mom, then I find out my best friend is the resident of my half-sister, and now one of my inter dies. Izzy, what if one of you is next? I can't handle this! I just can't!" Meredith buried her head into Izzy's lap right when Derek and Bailey came up.
"Mer?" Meredith didn't even lift her head,
"C'mon Stevens, lets get her into a room." Izzy and Bailey tried to lift Meredith up but she wouldn't budge.
"Derek?" Derek didn't need to be told twice. He easily picked up Meredith and followed Bailey and Izzy to the nearest patient room. He carefully set her on the bed and got her a box of tissues. Everyone stepped back and let Meredith cry. Christina, Burke, Alex and George came in shortly followed by the Chief. Finally Meredith calmed down and looked up at everyone,
"I'm sorry for causing all of you this trouble,"
"No Meredith, it's not your fault. Trust me if I were you, I would be doing the same thing. Don't blame yourself for something you can't control," Meredith looked up into the Chiefs eyes. They were full of sorrow, but also love. She looked around the room to see all her friends standing before her.
"Everyone cares about you Mer. When you do this to yourself, we don't know what to think. We love you," Izzy came over and hugged her.
"Thanks Izz. You're the one person I can always talk to."
"Trust me Grey, everything will get better. The first day is always the worst and hardest. Once you get into the groove of things, then everything will be fine. Now c'mon. You need your sleep. Yang will cover for you. I'll get you a couple new interns by the end of the week. Now everyone out,"
"Thanks Dr. Bailey. Derek, can you stay for a sec?"
Everyone turned to leave except Derek. When the door finally closed, Meredith started to cry again. Derek climbed into bed with her.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm like this."
"Mer, like the Chief said, don't blame your self for something you can't control. It's not your fault that all this happened. Just go with the flow. I promise, tomorrow will be better," Meredith smiled and laid her head on in his lap. Soon she fell asleep to the sound of his breathing and the touch of his hand stroking her hair.
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Meredith woke up the next day to an empty room. She sat up and looked around. Everyone was busy and running around. She saw Izzy walk by and glance into the room, but she walked off. Suddenly the door flew open to an ecstatic Izzy.
"OMG MER! YOU'RE AWAKE!"
Meredith laughed, "Of course I am, what did you think? I would kill myself?"
"Well…" Both girls exploded into laughter.
Meredith got up out of bed and walked with Izzy to go find Christina
"So how are you feeling?" asked Izzy as they turned the corner into the surgical wing
"Better. I really needed to cry I was keeping my emotions bottled up. If felt good to get them out."
Izzy and Meredith found Christina and Emily down in the pit.
"Hey!" cried Christina as she ran over to her friend giving her a big hug.
"Uh Chris," said Meredith pointing to her half-sister,
"Oh, um, right, um," Izzy and Meredith laughed at their friend trying to cover up her passionate side.
"Actually Chris, can I talk to her?"
"Mer-"
"Chris please?"
"Fine, GREY! GET OVER HERE!"
Emily came running over to Christina "Yes Dr. Yang?"
"Dr. Grey wants to talk to you. Be back here as soon as you can,"
"Yes Dr. Yang," Meredith, Izzy, and Emily walked out of the pit to see Christina blushing.
"Hey Izz can we have some private time?"
"Sure Mer, you know where to find me if you need anything,"
"Thanks Izz," Izzy walked down the hall and towards the netaolnatal department.
"You wanted to talk to me Dr. Grey?"
"Emily kill the 'resident-intern' act. Look I know we haven't been able to talk, but now I'm free. Now is there anything you wanted to know about mom?"
"Uh, Meredith, do you actually think that now is the time? Can we do this later, like after my shift? I'm kinda busy and Dr. Yang has been on my back ALL day,"
"Uh, sure Em. Look how about we meet at Joe's at 8? That's when my shift ends,"
"Okay, Joe's at 8. Thanks Meredith I better go before Dr. Yang blows her top. Bye!"
"Ya, Bye," said Meredith quietly as she watched her half-sister leave. She's hiding something, and I'm going to find out what it is thought Meredith as she went to go find her 3 interns.
