So we're finally on our way to the great Hogwarts," Anko commented.

She sat in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express. Sloth, Wrath and Iruka sat across from her, while Winry and Rose sat beside her. It was very noisy outside, but their compartment was uncomfortably quiet. Sloth was looking out the window wistfully, and Wrath glared at each inhabitant with hate. Winry and Rose were whispering to each other.

"There are certainly alot of people. Some of them are going to have a hard time finding seats." commented Iruka.

"Aren't you glad we got here early?" Anko raised her eyebrows at Iruka. "Is the door locked? We don't need anyone finding about these freaks-of-nature homunculi."

"That's not nice," Iruka reprimanded her, looking up from Hermione's copy of 'Hogwarts, A History' that she'd lent him. "The homunculi have already helped us a lot."

"Yeah, yeah." Anko made a face. A large blast sounded, and the scenery outside the window began to move.

"Finally!" Anko sighed. "I thought we were never gonna leave!"

"So we'll meet up with the others beside the lake?" Iruka asked.

"That's what they said," confirmed Anko.

"I wonder where they all went off to?"

"Who cares?" yawned Anko. "I was up all night, keeping guard. I'm going to take a nap. Look up from your book and make sure the freaks don't escape, okay, Bookworm?"

"Fine," Iruka turned back towards his book. He was amazed at how well Hermione had taken care of it. It seemed that, in many ways, she was just as mature as he.


"Oh man! I am so hungry!" Chouji complained loudly.

"Shut up! You're so annoying!" Shikamaru grumbled from beside him.

"You're both annoying! How come I couldn't be in Sasuke's group? Or Ron's? Or Draco's?" Ino, sitting beside the window on Shikamaru's other side, giggled at the thought of all her current crushes.

"Well, my brother and Hermione are with the other prefects," Ginny, who sat across from them, informed Ino. "I think that Sasuke and Draco are with Harry."

"Draco Malfoy? He's back?" a shy boy with brown hair asked from beside Ginny. He cradled a large plant on his lap, and held a toad in his hand. Ino grimaced at him.

"McGonogall-sama explained the situation to the Ministry, but she doesn't trust him much," Asuma explained. "Kakashi is keeping an eye on him and the Potter boy."

The trolley lady came by, opening the compartment door. "Anything off the trolley, dears?"

"Oh boy! Everything!" Chouji drooled, jumping up from his seat and stuffing them into his mouth. His teammates sweatdropped while Ginny and Neville looked on in shock.

"Chouji, if you keep on eating like that, you're going to weigh a million pounds by the time we get back," Asuma told his student, counting out some money given to him by the Order.

"Sasuke's sure lucky he doesn't have to deal with this. I should be sitting with him!" whined Ino. "Sakura gets to sit with both Sasuke and Draco! Stupid billboard brow!"


"Are we there yet?" asked Naruto.

"No," replied Kakashi, who sat across from him reading Icha Icha Paradise.

"Are we there yet?"

"Not for at least another three hours," answered Harry, sitting beside him.

Hedwig sat on his shoulder, intently observing her owner's new friends. Pidwidgeon was flying around the coach in a style as restless as Naruto felt. Crookshanks was curled up on Malfoy's lap. To his surprise, Harry had found himself getting along with Draco. They hadn't argued a bit, and his former enemy was sitting beside him quite peacefully. They weren't getting on each other's nerves at all. In fact, the only thing that was getting on Harry's nerves was Naruto.

"Are we there yet?"

"Would you shut up?" snapped Sasuke, who sat beside Kakashi and sported a large red wound where Gluttony had bitten him.

"Are we there yet?"

"Shut up, Naruto!" Sakura yelled from beside Sasuke.

"Awww! I'm so bored!" whined Naruto. "It's lunchtime, isn't it? Can I eat?"

"If it'll keep your mouth shut," Kakashi tossed every paper bag lunches.

"What? What's this? Sandwiches, again? I want my ramen!" Naruto complained. "I miss ramen so much!"

"Bloody hell, Naruto! Let us have some peace, will you?" Draco requested. "You're even more annoying than Pansy Parkinson!"

Speak of the devil! The door to the compartment suddenly burst open, revealing an ugly girl with a pug-like face. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of Malfoy.

"Drakey! It's so good to see you!" she shrieked. "I was so worried that you weren't going to be back, but you are!" she jumped onto Malfoy's lap, sending a yowling Crookshanks off. Draco looked at Kakashi hopelessly.

"I'm sorry, young miss," Kakashi told Pansy. "This compartment is full."

"I can sit right here, on Drakey's lap," Pansy argued, snuggling up to him. Draco looked repulsed.

"This compartment is full," Kakashi replied firmly.

"Who the hell are you?" Pansy looked up to glare at the inhabitants of the cubicle. She took in their appearances and outfits. A look of shock registered on her face. "My mum told me about you. You're… the foreign muggle freaks the ministry hired?"

"Hai," nodded Kakashi. "You must be Pansy-san, Draco's friend. This compartment is full."

"Okay! See ya, Drakey!" Pansy bounded out of the compartment.

"That is one foul girl," Sasuke observed.

"She kinda looks like you, Sasuke," Naruto snickered.

"Shut up, Narutard!" Sakura punched him.

"This is going to be one long ride," Harry sighed.


"A lot of people showed up," Tonks commented.

"I guess the reliable reinforcements comforted the parents," Roy crossed his arms smugly. "If this mission doesn't get me a promotion, I don't know what will." Falman and Havoc sweatdropped.

A group of 5th year girls opened the door of their compartment.

"Oh… you're full," their leader, a girl with shiny black hair named Romilda Vane, looked disappointed.

"Your clothes… are you the foreigners the ministry hired?" asked one of Romilda's friends.

"Yes. I am Colonel Roy Mustang, and these are my subordinates, Warrant Officer Vato Falman and Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc," Roy introduced. All three saluted Romilda's crew.

"I'm Tonks, the new Transfiguration teacher," Tonks told them.

"Lust… the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Lust glanced over at the lazily. She flashed them an eerie smile.

"Can I eat them, Lust? Can I? Can I?" Gluttony panted.

"No, Gluttony. Not as long as they behave." Lust flashed them her creepy grin again.

"We will, Professor Lust, ma'am! Good-bye!" Romilda and her cronies saluted their new teachers, and slammed the door shut. Lust smirked.

"I think I'll like my new job," Lust told a drooling Gluttony.


"It's getting dark," Al observed. "It sure is creepy."

"It must be all the monsters and such that the Death Eaters are setting loose," Edward shrugged.

"I'm a little scared," Hinata confessed.

"Don't worry. My big brother and Kurenai-sama will protect us all," Al promised.

"That's right. He's a State Alchemist, and I'm a Jounin. Between the two of us, no harm will come to you," Kurenai assured Hinata.

"What an awful atmosphere," Shino commented. "Even the most resilient mosquito would not venture outside,"

"It's really cold, isn't it?" observed Kiba. Akamaru whimpered loudly from inside Kiba's shirt. Kiba listened with patience.

"What is it, Akamaru?" asked Hinata.

"He says that something's coming," replied Kiba. "Something very unpleasant."


"Tonight is very cold," Ibiki commented.

"Every night is cold here," Riza answered, polishing her gun. "Every night holds unknown dangers. That's why we have to be prepared."

"How useless. I can't believe Lust dragged me into this." Envy complained. "I'd rather be working solo."

"Don't you want the Philosopher's Stone?" asked Fuery, stroking Black Hayate, who was sitting on his lap. Breda, stuck between him and Envy, were trying to sit an equal distance away from the homicidal homunculus and the dog.

"Not to become human," answered Envy. "I'm was content to follow Dante and kill. There's someone in particular that I want dead."

Fuery and Breda exchanged creeped out looks.

"All three of you work in the military?" asked Ibiki. "I do too, in a way. What is it like for you?"

"Oh it's good," Fuery told him. "Our superior, Mustang's always after getting promoted, but he's a good man."

"We're very loyal. We'd follow him to the end of the earth," agreed Breda.

"We already have," Riza added.

"Oh, that reminds me of something, Lieutenant," Fuery recalled. "On the day that we met Harry, we were on our way to deliver a package."

"That's right!" Breda remembered, pulling a package out of his jacket and handing it to Riza. "It's a new product that they developed in researching. They wanted us to sample it."

"What is it?" Riza asked, opening the box that Riza proceeded to unfasten. It contained rows and rows of coloured bullets lined up, ready to use. There were patterns carved onto each.

"Alchemical bullets," Breda explained. "Each one triggers an alchemical reaction when it hits the target. I think it imitates Scar's alchemy, you know, with blowing the brain up?"

"Interesting," Riza emptied one of her guns, and went to fill it with the alchemical bullets. She resumed polishing her guns, her face taking on a sadistic grin. "Thank you, Kain and Heymans. I look forward to trying them out."

"I see that you're strong, and you do not depend on others. I respect that," Ibiki told Riza. "Why did you join the military?"

"There is someone that I need protect." Riza scowled, polishing her gun a little harder. "Now more than ever, that stupid, stubborn man."

Fuery and Breda smirked at each other. Any dumbass could figure out whom she was talking about. Ibiki, who was closer to the 'genius' end of the spectrum than 'dumbass', nodded in comprehension. Envy kept on sulking. Black Hayate suddenly gave a loud yelp. He shivering, and ran over to Ibiki, jumping into his jacket like Akamaru did with Kiba.

"Hayate! Cut it out!" Riza commanded sharply. Black Hayate snuggled deeper into the master interrogator's jacket, as if he knew he was safe there.

"It's okay!" Ibiki replied, patting the adorable animal. Breda shuddered, envisioning a dog crawling into his shirt. "He's shivering. Something's scaring him."

"Why's it so cold all of the sudden?" Breda asked.

"Why did the lights turn off?" Fuery whimpered.

"Dogs are usually good at sensing these things, but homunculi are better," Envy turned to them. They could see the light of the moon bouncing off his pointy grin. He crackled his knuckles. "At last, I am allowed to kill."


"So these Crumple-Horned Snorklaks are found commonly in a place called 'Scandinavia'?" Hayate Gekko asked, sipping Luna's coughing medicine. He pointed to a picture of an ugly beast with a crumpled horn and many moles.

"Yes!" Luna nodded. "Many people don't believe in them, but daddy and I found concrete proof on our last trip to Sweden. He's the editor of this magazine, you know."

"You mean he was," Kankurou pointed out.

"Yes, I guess so," Luna's face was brave, but Gaara and Hayate, who sat on either side of her, saw her quivering.

"Kankurou! Don't be so insensitive!" Even Temari, who was quite insensitive herself, knew that he'd gone too far.

"Just pointing out the obvious," her little brother shrugged.

"Apologize," Temari's other little brother glared at him. "Or I'll kill you."

"Okay, okay! Sorry, Luna!"

"Oh, that's okay," Luna smiled at him. "I'm used to insensitive people. I'll probably be reminded of his murder many times over the course of this school year."

"You don't have very nice classmates, do you?" Hayate asked, concerned.

"No. They enjoy hiding my things and teasing me. When I first came here, I would cry, but I'm used to it now." Luna shrugged. "I always hope they'll be nicer, but they never are. If any of you see my things lying around, you will return them, won't you? I do lose much of my schoolwork that way."

"Not anymore," Gaara muttered. "I'll teach them not to."

"Now, now, don't be so hasty," Temari told Gaara. "We'll get in trouble for murder, remember?"

"What about the teachers there?" Jiraiya looked up from an adult book he was reading. "Are they young and beautiful?"

"Jiraiya-sama!" Hayate reprimanded him. Temari and Kankurou edged away from the old pervert.

"It's for my research!" Jiraiya quarreled

"Professors Lust and Tonks are young, but I think all the other teachers are over 50," replied Luna. Jiraiya shuddered. The lights suddenly went out.

"What the hell?" Temari gasped.

"Look! There's ice on the windows!" Kankurou observed.

"Oh, this happened once in my third year," Luna recalled.

"What happened after?" Hayate asked.

"Dementors came."

"Um… what are dementors?" whimpered Kankurou.

"They're dark creatures that can suck your soul," Luna enlightened him. "They float and wear big black cloaks. Like that one."

She pointed at the door. Everyone (except for Gaara) turned to it fearfully. A big, scabbed hand opened it from the outside. The aura of evil was stronger than ever. And there, the creature that Luna described, stood in all its ugly, cloaked glory. Something inside Gaara writhed, pulling him to it. He stood up.

"Sit down!" Hayate commanded.

"Didn't you hear her? It can take your soul!" Jiraiya barked.

Gaara ignored them, and kept on walking towards it. Jiraiya caught his wrist. Gaara easily pulled it out of his grasp. The dementor reached the red-haired boy before the other way around. It started sucking, and the air became cold enough to store meat. Gaara's eyes widened. He didn't have many happy memories, but the handful he possessed was being torn away from him. He held on to them. He gripped on, but the dementor was too strong. They were quickly taken. Suddenly, Gaara could hear the children that were afraid of him. He could hear Yashamaru's voice. No one loved him… no one…

"Little brother!" Temari screamed.

The dementor placed his face between its hands, and lowered its cloak. It clamped its fowl mouth onto his jaws. Gaara could feel every last bit of warmness drain out of him. He could hear the dementor speak.

"What's the point?" the dementor asked. "Why do you hold on to your humanity when you were created to be a monster?"

"Give up your soul and let me have this body," the Shukaku hissed. "No one loves you. No one ever will. You live to kill. You exist as a weapon; you are an experiment gone wrong. I'll show them all. Give me this body, and I'll kill all of them for you."

"Give me your soul…"

"Give me your body…"

"Give me…"

"Expecto Patronum!"

Gaara suddenly felt his head clear. The pain inside him subsided. The last thing he saw was something silver chase the cloaked figure away, before he collapsed to the floor.

"Don't let him pass out!" Temari commanded.

"Get up, Gaara!" Kankurou pulled his brother onto the bench.

"The… dementor…" Gaara shivered.

"A silver butterfly chased it away," replied Hayate. "Are you okay? What should we do?"

"Here. Eat." Luna produced a thick bar of chocolate that she'd purchased just yesterday. She broke off a piece, and handed it to Gaara. He suspiciously put it in his mouth. Almost instantly, warmness spread through him. It was delicious. Luna handed pieces out to the rest of the compartment, and gave the rest to Gaara. He finished it in one bite, reminiscent of Gluttony.

"I think I'd better check how the others are doing," Hayate announced.

"No! Stay here, Hayate-nii-san," Luna replied. "You don't know magic. You haven't the method to chase them away. What if they take your soul?"

"The others will be fine," asked Temari. "Most of them, like that shorty from Amsteris, are pretty strong. Even if they don't look it."


"Hey! What's the big idea!" Maes Hughes shouted angrily.

"We're in the middle of a game!" Gai yelled.

"It's too late! I'm already forever scarred!" Neji cried.

Hughes, Gai, Lee, Armstrong, Neji and Tenten, had ended up in one compartment. The first two had spent the morning exchanging stories of Elycia and Team Gai, which they found hilarious but Neji didn't. Armstrong had been giving Lee pointers on how to get a 'beautiful body' like his. Neji and Tenten tried to discuss the upcoming year, but that soon proved impossible. Shortly after the four took their afternoon naps (during which Neji and Tenten had finally gotten some peace), Armstrong had proposed, to Neji's horror, a game of strip poker. Neji and Tenten had tried to avert their eyes as much as possible (in case you want to know, Gai was losing), until the lights had suddenly shut off.

"Anyone else feel cold all of a sudden?" Lee asked.

"Put your pants back on!" Neji snapped.

"Actually, Neji, I feel a little cold, too," Tenten rubbed her arms. "Look. The windows are frozen."

"I'm not joking! Put your clothes back on! I can still see you!" Neji commanded.

"That's a good idea. It's getting awfully cold," Hughes agreed. To Neji's relief, everyone redressed.

"Neji…?" Tenten inched away from her her teammate.

"What?"

"The door… behind you…"

A scabby hands grabbed Neji 'round the shoulders. He was spun around, to face a large figure in black robes. It lowered its hood, showing an ugly, skull-like face. Neji couldn't help but scream like a little girl. He passed out. The others caught sight of it, too.

"What is that!" Hughes grimaced.

"McGonogall-sama mentioned something that fits its appearance. I believe it is called a dementor?" replied Gai. The closest person to Neji was Armstrong. The dementor lowered its hood.

"Eeek! The ugliness!" Armtrong shrieked, fainting.

Lee was next. The dementor took hold of his face, and started to lower his uncloaked face to Lee's. Lee felt the happy memories he created with Gai drain out of him. He was brought back to his younger days, when the children made fun of him. He remembered being excluded in every one of their games, he remembered the name calling and the beatings. He went back further in time, remembering something long forgotten. He remembered the circle…

"Just stand in the middle of the circle, boy," a snake-like man instructed.

"Why?" a very young Lee asked.

"Just do as I say. I'll give you candy!"

"Okay!" Lee walked into the chalk drawing. He walked past the runes and figures, right into the middle.

" I stumbled across this cirlce by accident, and now I have reason to believe there is a universe parallel to ours. You're going to open the gate for me." The snake-man made strange hand signals, and pressed down onto the circle. It started to glow. "Tell me what you see!"

A hole opened up beneath him. Lee screamed. Black hands pulled him down, ripping pieces and chunks off his body. Above him, the snake-man winced, obviously making a mental note to not try that himself.

Lee spun through the darkness, losing contiousness. When he came to, he was standing in a place with a bright, white, light. He saw a pale outline of a human-like thing standing in front of him.

"Yo," the figure waved.

"Who are you? Where's the snake-man? Where's my candy?" Lee demanded.

"I am the truth. I am everything. And I am… you!" the figure pointed at him.

"Um… how do I get out of here?"

"See those doors?" the figure pointed behind him. "It holds all the knowledge of the world. Go ahead, open it."

Lee spun around. Indeed, there was a huge set of double doors standing there. They were beautifully carved with even more runes and ancient drawings on them than the circle that brought him there. The doors… Lee stepped towards them… he tentitively reached out a small hand to open them… everything was revealed to him for a few seconds… the doors… the gate… the truth…

"Go away!" Lee yelled, clapping his hands together. Bright blue light emmited from his palms. The dementor also burst into light. It hung in midair for a moment, brilliantly azure. Then, it exploded. Scraps of cloth floated down onto the ground.

"Lee? You did that thing that Edward can do!" Hughes gasped.

"I remember everything now!" announced Lee.

"Wow… that was awesome!" Lee exclaimed as the doors snapped back shut. "I wanna go again!"

"Not so fast. There's a passage fee for coming here. It's called Equivalent Exchange. You have to pay for what you saw." The figure explained. "I'll take your payment now."

Lee screamed. Something inside him was literally being torn out. Lee stumbled back, gasping.

"Huh. You sure got off lightly. One woman lost her internal organs. It's only your Chakra system. You'll live. Who needs Ninjutsu and Genjutsu if you can do alchemy without a transmutation circle?" said the figure. "Well, if you remember this meeting, of course. I hope this experience has been enlightening. Now, run along."

"And that's why I could only do Taijutsu," Lee explained to his compartment.

"That explains a lot," Gai nodded solemnly.

"You've grown really strong in Taijutsu. And now, alchemy… wow." Tenten looked at Lee with newfound respect. All the lights suddenly flipped back on.

"We've almost arrived at Hogwarts!" Hermione's microphoned voice flooded over the train. "Please remain seated! Prefects will be coming around shortly to check the well-being of the students! Please don't panic! Please remain seated!"

Of course, no one listened. All hell broke loose outside in the aisles.

Harry rushed out of his compartment. He pushed past other students, bumping into Winry. "Winry! Are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

"No, no, I'm fine!" Winry replied. "It's Rose! Rose passed out!"

"What!" Ron roared. "I'm going right now!" He sped off down the aisle.

"Ron!" Winry called. "Our compartment's right here!" Ron ran back, wrenching the door open. Rose was lying unconscious on the floor. He rushed over and tried to shake her awake.

"Is her soul still there?" Ron demanded. "Did the dementor try to kiss her?"

"No. It came in and lowered its hood, making her faint. Then, Wrath performed some alchemy on it, and it exploded," said Iruka.

"Yes. It seems that those creatures can be killed using alchemy,"Ibiki said as he and Riza arrived.

"One alchemical bullet is better than ten minutes of Envy trying to rip the dementor apart," Riza looked at her alchemical-bulletsloaded gun lovingly.

"Everyone! Back to your seats! Now!" Hermione shrieked, walking down the aisles with her wand. Everyone kept on ignoring her. Hermione passed by Roy Mustang's compartment.

"May I borrow that?" Lust came out and took her wand.

"Okay?"

"Everybody! This is your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Solaris Lust! We will arrive at Hogwarts shortly! You have thirty seconds to go back to your seats! Anyone caught out of their seats after those thirty seconds will be feeding Gluttony! With their own flesh!" Lust, Hermione and Gluttony began a patroll of the aisles. Gluttony's manical expression and Lust's sinister demeanor encouraged everyone to hurry back.

"Wow," Hermione looked at the homunculus admirably.

"If I am going to teach, they are going to listen," Lust smirked.


Note: It should be noted that everything I know about guns came from watching "Bowling for Columbine". X(