A/N - Ummm... I don't know. Nothing to really say. My life is boring so... That's about it XD

Sickness of the Heart

Chapter 17 - Pain

The whole thing was a giant blur. Peters' eyes were shut tight the whole time. Mentally blocking out the horrid sights and sound. No one could blame him. Who would want to witness a death before their very eyes unless you were a sadist. To him it almost seemed like his own body was trying to protect him by producing something to block out all of the unwanted noise. He felt weak and sick to his stomach as he sat with his head down between his knees. Why he felt so exhausted was one thing he didn't know. It wasn't like he fought or anything. Surprisingly, he was quite calm the whole time.Well, up until now. He was amazed at how one second he was more then sure he was done for, and the next thing he knew, the tables had completely turned. It was a funny thing if you really think about it. Suddenly he was reminded that he was not alone when he felt a heavy weight in his arms. Wendy lay in his arms, fully conscious, yet was breathing heavily.

Peter felt a horrid bile building up in the back of his throat. Laying beyond the rusted bucket he tripped over earlier his greatest enemy, Captain Hook lay dead. Stabbed in the back by a sword. Wendy's sword. The one he had given to her on their first trip to Neverland. On deck, the terrible green potion lay seeping into the wood of the Jolly Roger close to Hooks lifeless hand. Worst of all, Peter had unfortunately downed almost half of the vile contents. The scary thing was, it seemed so tempting when Hook held it to his lips. It smelt sweet and alluring. For a few seconds he wanted the rest of it. Then he remembered the ripping feeling. Thankfully he noted that the ripping feeling had died when Hook was out of the picture. Luckily that feeling stopped Peter from taking another taste of the sweet potion. He still felt as if something was missing. But what?

"Peter..." He heard a voice whisper. He acted as if he heard nothing. Wendy looked up and searched his Blue-green eyes as they rapidly scanned the deck. Clearly lost in his own train of thought. She knew Peter had not witnessed a drop of what happened on the deck. Once Hook fell, and she got a clear view of Pete, she saw that his eyes and ears were blocked from what was going on. So him opening his eyes to such a devasting aftermath must have been quite the challenge. "Peter. " She said a little louder to try to capture his attention. This time, Peter's head snapped down so they could meet eye to eye. She pushed herself up from Peter's lap and sat beside him "We should go now."

Wendy and Peter both stood from their spot. Just as they were about to leave the Jolly Roger, Peter turned his attention to the remaining pirates with a serious expression, trying all he can not to take a deep breath . He had a terrible feeling that if he did, the tears building up in the corners of his eyes would surely spill.

"The fairy counsel told me once that I was the reason you are here... and that it is my will that holds you in Neverland... so..." He finally took that deep breath and to his dismay, a stray tear slid don his cheek. "I am allowing you all to leave. I expect the ship out of view in two days." He said in a stern voice.

"B-but w-what good 's a pirate ship with outta Cap'n?" Smee stuttered as he approached Peter. Peter smiled and rested a hand on Smee's shoulder. He sure admired his loyalty. Of course that could be counted as sarcasm now that Hook was dead.

"Who ever said this had to be a pirate ship?" He laughed despite how he really felt."You never did cross me as the pirate type anyway." Smee nodded in agreement. Hook was no longer around to tell him what to do. If he wanted to give it up, It was now his decision. Wendy crossed the deck and took Peter's hand.

"Lets go home." She said. Peter nodded in agreement. He jumped into the air, thinking of any happy thought he could come up with, only to come crashing back down onto the deck. "Peter are you all right?" Wendy ran over to Peter. His face held an expression of pure panic.

"No... no... I'm not!... I can't... I..."

"You can't what!" Wendy shook him a bit to try and get an answer out of him.

"I... I can't fly!" Wendy stood over Peter and offered him a hand. He completely ignored her offer. "Why can't I .. Why!" Wendy herself was scarred for him. Not knowing why his flying ability was lost.

"Calm yerself master Pan." Peter heard another comforting voice from above him. He looked up to see the voice belonged to Smee. "T'e Potion Cap'n Hook gave ye drained it." Once again a wave of dizziness hit Peter. Smee knew that comment probably only added to the problem, but he wanted to offer the panic stricken boy a clear answer. In all honesty, he felt bad for having a big part in making the potion. He held no personal grudges against Peter. He was just a kid who like to mess with his captain. Nothing to try and kill him over. Peter's hand clawed at the wooden deck. He could no longer fly . That's what was ripped. That's what was gone forever.

Finally, Wendy gave up trying to help Peter to his feet. Of course she fully understood. He had just lost something very dear to him. It was best to leave him in peace. But now she wondered how they would get home.

"We need a way to get to shore. Can you help us?" Wendy asked Smee. The other pirates exchanged worried glances. Wendy didn't entirely blame them. She did just single handedly kill their captain as well as a few members of the crew in her way. Smee cleared his throat and turned to the other pirates.

"Well, ye heard t'e lass! Jukes take t'e wheel. Mullins, hoist the sail! Let's get them t'e shore!"

And with that, the boat was headed straight for the mainland. Wendy stood at the very head of the boat the whole time. Letting the soft breeze play with her hair. She watched as the stars above her seemed to blink out one by one with the coming of the sun. That's right, it only took one night. By the afternoon, Wendy fainted, brought to her own bed.With the Lost boys and Peter asleep, She woke up at night, only to fall into a trap. She nearly drowned in the Neverland sea shortly after. Then Peters brave rescue. Shortly after Peter himself was captured, fallen prisoner of a cruel game. Then, just before the sun was about to rise, Hook was dead. She stared at the crown of the sun popping up behind the mountains and dark grey clouds began to fog the sky. All in one night, everything had changed... That in itself amazed her. She wondered if t amazed Peter too.

She suddenly felt a presence lean on the ship railing beside her. Peter stood silently next her. Quitely scanning the mainland. Wendy put her warm hand over Peters' freezing cold ones. A small flicker of a smile appeared on his lips. And they stayed like that until they felt the front of the ship slowly hit the sand on the beach. A ladder was dropped for them to exit. Peter took one last good look at the pirates or as he hoped, ex-pirates. Wendy and Peter lingered on the beach a bit longer as they witnessed the pirates preform a proper burial for Hook and their fallen crew at sea. At that, all Peter did was bow his head. He bowed his head to a great pirate and an even greater enemy.

----

Peter and Wendy walked hand in hand through the half light Neverland woods. Neither of them said a word the whole way. For them both it was a rather uncomfortable situation. There was nothing really that had to be said. Neverland was almost in ruin. The earthquake that occurred pulled up many root and threw around the dirt making travel difficulty. Many of the trees died, and the ones that didn't, were in an extremely poor condition. Most of them had fallen in the direct path of the underground home. It was almost a sickening sight to see what used to be such a paradise now in such a wreck.

After a long journey through the woods, they finally arrived at Hangmans tree. Thankfully, it was still in one piece. Upon entering the house, they found the Lost boys all huddled up under their overturned table, shielding each other for protection. They obviously felt the impact of the earthquake, seeing as the room was a mess. She was able to convince the boys that the storm was over so she could tell them all that happened. Out of all of them, Tinkerbell was the most shocked over how she could let such a thing happen when she was the one who was to watch over Peter.

Peter was of course distraught over having his most beloved power taken from him. Wendy understood when he just muttered a goodnight to the Lost boys and went into his room. Wendy stayed up though to clean the house and bandage up a few of the Lost boys who were hurt due to the earthquake. After that, she too went to bed, trying to block out the suns rays as it slipped into the cracks in the wall. Everyone woke up late the next afternoon in a sullen mood. Even at such a late time for breakfast, Wendy woke up and prepared the boys a beautiful breakfast to try to cheer everyone up. No matter how good Wendy's breakfast smelled, none of them could get over the fact that their home was in its worst condition yet. Not to mention Peter wasn't in his best either. So not a drop of the food was touched.

"Cheer up everyone!" Wendy said as she forced a smile onto her lips. The boys didn't respond. "There has to be something we could do." She said in a hopeful voice.

"How?" Slightly responded with no hope at all.

"Well..." She put her hand under her chin in thought. " I'm sure we could plant new trees... and maybe flatten out the dirt. But it will take a while..." She was actually very satisfied with the plan she came up with. if everyone pitched in to help, Neverland could turn back to its old self in no time.

"Do you think that will really work?" Curly jumped in.

"We have to try something right?" Immediately all of the Lost boys faces brightened "After you eat breakfast, why don't you all go out with Tink and see what you can do!" Before Wendy could even finish her sentence, the Lost boys were shoveling the food into their mouths so they could get outside fast enough to do something to salvage their home. In a matter of seconds, every plate was clean ,except for Peters, and the Lost boys were no where to be seen.

Peter still sat in his seat, just staring down at his full plate. He didn't even take one bite. Wendy would have thought at the sound of helping rebuild Neverland he would have brightened up. Wendy stood at the side of Peters chair and leaned down so they were at eye level.

"Smee returned the spell book before you woke up...Said he didn't want it falling into the wrong hands again." Peter responded with a weak nod. Wendy was thankful that he was at least listening. Wendy stood and retrieved the book of forbidden curses from the nightstand near the Lost boys bed. She set the heavy leather bound book on the boys lap and pressed a quick kiss on the tip of his nose. "We'll fix this... I'll do all I can." Peter finally looked up at her with tired eyes, making her wonder if he got any sleep at all that night.

"How?... " He asked in a hushed voice.

"Well the book is first. Last night Tinkerbell told Nibs that at your wish, the book is to be destroyed."

"Why was it even created in the first place?" Peter said to know one in particular. Just caught up in his own thoughts again.

"Maybe Tinkerbell will know." She took Peters hand in hers and began to lead Peter out of the house. She lead Peter back through the woods as they searched for the Lost boys whereabouts. Of course the whole time, Peter thought flying over the island would make the search a lot more easier. But that was a thing he had to try to put in the past for now. In the light, Neverland only looked worse then the other night.

Peter and Wendy finally found said party in a large grove filled with trees that had toppled over in the earthquake. Along with them, various Indians had come along to help the cause. Many chopping fallen trees into smaller pieces and hauling them off for better use. Other were looking for new tree seeds to replant. The Lost boys busied themselves with trying to clean up some other debris. One thing had made Peter smile. The fact that everyone in Neverland cared enough to try to do everything they could to help. Hovering above them all, Tinkerbell was surveying the activity. Peter loudly cleared his throat to gain her attention. Wendy thought it best to leave them to talk. She ran to help Tigerlily carry some wood back to the Indian village.

Peter gave Tinkerbell a rather harsh look. Almost a look that told her he blamed her for the books creation. Even though he knew that wasn't true. But he did want badly to know the truth.

"Why was this book created?" He asked her through his clenched teeth. "Was someone trying to intentionally harm me?" Peter shouted so loudly that the people working in the area turned to stare for a second. Tinkerbell tried all she could to quite him but him being naturally stubborn, he continued to yell. Simply, she resorted to yelling back.

"It was created in your best interests!" Finally, Peter was silenced. The answer confused him. How could something that brought so much harm to him be in his best interest?

"What do you mean?" Tinkerbell found a resting spot on Peter's shoulders. Thankful that he stopped yelling.

"When you were first brought to Neverland, the fairy counsel wasn't all to trusting of you. They were afraid of giving a young human boy so much power." Tinkerbell sighed. "So... They created that book. Its purpose was that if you got out of hand, the potion would then be created and made to drain that power. That way we could send you back to England so you could live normally." Peter looked over at her. He didn't know that he was ever not trusted by the fairies.

"So... Why was I even brought here if I wasn't trusted?" He asked.

"Neverland needed a Prince. An owner. That owner was to be a child who still believed in us and in all of Neverland well beyond the expected age. At first they didn't like the idea, but they themselves could not rule Neverland alone. It needed the imagination of a child."

"... If you all began to trust me after awhile... Why did you keep the book?"

"We did trust you... That's why we hid the book, so it could never be used." Tinkerbell averted her gaze down to her toes. "Unfortunately... It wasn't hidden well enough."

"So now what?" Peter yelled, gaining back some of his anger. Mostly at Tinkerbell's unclear answer. " Do I just stay like this! Does Neverland stay like this?"

"No...Now we wait."

Peter hated waiting.

----

By nightfall, Neverland was looking better already. Along with the Indians help, the Lost boys were able to gain the alliance of the mermaids to help by cleaning the Lagoon. Most of the fallen trees had been cut and stored away in the Indian village for firewood use. The Lost boys alone found two whole bags of tree seeds to replant in places where there used to be ones. Peter helped for a little while before Wendy saw he was getting tired and sent him back to Hangmans tree to sleep. That night, Wendy and the Lost boys traveled home satisfied with their accomplishments.

That same night, Peter had a dream. He was once again standing in the middle of the Jolly Roger. A place he now feared. That sweet smelling potion pressed to his lips. The smell deceived his senses. The cursed potion told his senses that it was just as good as its comforting smell. So this time, he swallowed all of it. Every single last bit. It was as if his devastation doubled. The ripping feeling was worse then ever. He scrunched his body together to try to stop the pain. The ground around him gave a might tremble before finally shattering into a million tiny pieces. Like some antique vase or something. In the distant horizon, the land was too being devoured in darkness. Along with it, Peter was being swallowed by the darkness. Then he saw the face of Wendy and it disappeared as fast as it came. Then he realized... The dream wasn't about him... It was about her... Something was wrong with her.

"Peter! Wake up!" He opened his eyes to see a worried Wendy standing over him, shaking him feverishly. "Are you alright?" She asked as she put a hand to his forehead. "You were screaming in your sleep." Peter shook his head no

"Are you alright?" He asked the question back. Wendy didn't know what to say. She did still feel sick, but with all this going on she really didn't want to alarm Peter. Through all of this, she wanted to be everyones ray of hope. So she lied.

"Yes Peter. I'm fine." She hated herself for lying.

"I sense a change... A big one." Wendy put a comforting hand on Peter back and began rubbing in circles, secretly hopeing she was making the right choice by not telling him.

A/N - I hope that was a good chapter Two more, yay! I hope to get them up soon. I already finished writing them. But my computer has some problems and is going to be rebooted. So I'm not sure how fast I can do that. I have to try to save all of my crap that's on here.