ZEDD

This is one of the parts of my past that I would have liked to stay in the past. Thomas doesn't really need to know how far I fell from grace, so to speak, not to mention pulling Dar and Pina with me. However given his concerns that he is apparently not up to my all perfect standards maybe a little dose of my humiliating reality will help him.

Pina smirks, "I don't doubt it, Zedd. Although I think if your mother had tried to order me one more time about how to take care of you, I'd have had to maim her at the very least."

This surprises me. "She what now?"

"You were still fairly ill at the time, we were just starting to think you might pull through, so Rita informed them of your situation to let them know we might not be burying you after all. Unfortunately that led to your mother showing up and acting like I was some halfwit who didn't know to how to feed you or check your temperature." Lovely.

Dar nods. "You may be the eldest by two years, Zedd, but I swear it seemed like she thought you should be dipped in gold."

Thomas comments dryly, "If I'm understanding the reference correctly, then I find it hard to believe that they hate you, Zedd." Don't think so, by all means spend a day at their house.

Heaving a sigh I shake my head. "I said that my father was ashamed of me and that I hated them. I don't think I ever commented directly on my mother." Although I was certainly under the impression that she was as ashamed of me as he is…

"Yes, well next time you see her do me a favor and assure her I know that food goes in your mouth and that no you don't now have some horrible skin condition because I refused to force you to take bath when you had a fever of a hundred and two and were half delirious from the pain you were in."

"You should have seen her threaten Pina when she starting instructing her on the proper way to bathe you and Pina in turn tried to throw the toaster at her." And this just keeps getting better and better.

Face in hand in can all but feel Thomas' amusement now. "Wonderful, just wonderful."

"Still say you should have let me shove her and Rita out a window" the woman mutters in aggravation.

"I told you then his father would have shown up and shoved us out a window" Dar responds evenly. Either that or somehow blamed me.

Out of the blue, Thomas says, "I want to meet your parents, Zedd."

I can practically hear Dar and Pina's jaws hit the floor along with my own. "You do? Why?" Did he just miss all of what Pina and Dar said?

I can feel his flicker of fear break through my shock. "Because they're your family. Unless you don't want me to?"

"Not by choice. And to be honest I didn't think you'd be interested, love."

His fear turns to hurt, but why? "Am I not supposed to be? Just like you were curious about my family and heritage, I'm curious about yours. Are you - are you ashamed of me? Of us?"

"No, of course I'm not. You just didn't seem to be interested before."

"Shows what you know" Dar mutters as he and his mate turn to head to their room.

"You wouldn't believe the amount of questions he's asked" Pina adds as they leave. What now?

I turn to my now blushing furiously mate. "You have?" He nods, dropping his eyes to the floor. "Why didn't you just ask me?"

"You just said that you hate them. Why would I think you'd want to talk about them?"

Good point, I guess but- "Thomas, I'd still have answered your questions."

"Well, if we're going to be together-"

I stop him. "Thomas, please stop saying 'if we're going to be together'. Honestly, it's making me more than a little nervous and hurt especially since it sounded like you didn't want to be earlier." He's quiet for way too long. "Were you - Thomas, you weren't thinking of leaving me, were you?"

"I told you, Zedd, I don't end my relationships" he answers shortly. There's something he's not saying…

"But that doesn't mean that you don't have regrets, does it?"

"Everybody has regrets about something, Zedd." He's dodging.

I feel myself turn cold. "Thomas, I'd like a straight answer. Do you have regrets about us being together?"

Finally, he says, "I don't think that regrets is the right word. I don't know how to say what I'm feeling."

I take a deep breath. I have to be careful. I can almost feel the chasm growing between us. "You've said before that our relationship scares you because it happened so fast and is so deep and powerful."

"That's true. Again, regrets isn't the right word. Fears, worries, concerns - those I do have and lots of them. And it's not like I want you to find someone else, but Zedd, you could certainly find someone better for you - someone more on your level."

"If that's what you really think, then there's no way I'm letting you meet my parents. If you have those kind of doubts about us and how much we belong together, then they'll have you leaving me inside of a day." And if not leaving me then very likely threatening to hang yourself. Hell, no good is going to come from him visiting with them.

"I just want what's ultimately going to be best for you and I'm not sure that I'm it."

Rubbing my eyes and feeling the very start of a headache coming on, I try and think of a reasonable way to approach this without simply repeating what I've been telling him over and over again. "Thomas, for one minute leave the distant future out of this. Do you want to be with me?"

"Yes, but-"

I hold up a hand to stop him, pleased at his firm response. "And I want to be with you. That is all that matters love."

"Zedd you can't ignore the future forever."

"I'm not, however I am not going to go fretting over things that will never happen either. Thomas, you obviously don't realize it, but you are good for me. As I said before, we balance each other."

"I know, but you've also said that you're more apt to curb your bad behavior because of me. While that's a good thing, you should be doing that because you want to, not to avoid upsetting me. I don't want you to change who you are, Zedd."

"Love, whenever someone is in your life for any real length of time, it's going to have an impact on how one behaves. Whether the effects are long term or short term all depends. There are things that you keep and things that you get rid of. For example, many, many years ago, I had a friend at the academy. He was very good at spatial relations and showed me a way to fold my linens and towels so that they'd fit in the assigned space much better. To this day, I fold them the same way."

"But we're not talking about laundry." I greatly think he's missing the point here.

I shrug. "Thomas, it's all the same. Laundry, a new food, something in bed, a movie, a book - some things you discover you like that you'd have never tried before and others you'll avoid at all costs after the experience. It'll be no different with us. Hell, it's already happened. Right after we were sick and you made that fantastic meal - do you realize that I'd never had some of those dishes before? Granted, hunger made me try them quickly instead of dragging my feet about it, but still, I found that I enjoyed them and am very happy to add them to our rotation of meals."

He considers this for a while. "I guess so. I think part of what worries me is that, with the speed this relationship has taken off, we've not really had time to get to know each other. I mean, I know that you're not going to share every little secret of your life, just like I probably won't share all of mine, but there's so much I don't know about you. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to get through a maze blindfolded and I'll fall into a pit that I don't know is there."

"Thomas, I feel that way too. Even if I did research your life, as you'd suggested once, that's just bare facts and has nothing to do with what it meant to you - how it affected you. Those are things that only you can tell me. We have lots of time now, love and it doesn't all need to be done in a day."

He nods slowly. "I still want to meet your parents."

Groaning and knowing that'd come back around to bite me, I shake my head. "Why, love?"

"Because I want to know about your family and about you when you were a kid."

"I was an obnoxious, evil child who caused destruction and chaos wherever I went."

Smiling slightly, he shakes his head. "No, you weren't."

"And how do you know?"

"Because there is no way you would have been your grandmother's favorite if that was the case." Damn it.

"She was evil too?"

Shaking his head, he's apparently not buying it. "Please Zedd, I'd at least like to meet them if nothing else." He's going to regret it I know, but I suppose if I can keep them on a short leash and protect him from any comments they may make…

"Fine, but I tell you now, it's honestly not worth your time, and also if they do anything to upset you I will kill them, family or not, you come first love."

"That's sweet but unneeded, Zedd. By the way, do they speak English?"

Caught off guard by the unexpected question, I blink for a moment. "Not as far as I know, why?"

"Because even if they do, they'll probably assume that I don't speak Eltarian and anything that they don't want me to know they'll say in Eltarian."

I hug him tightly. In spite of all the mating, I want him again. There's a definite purr in my voice when I say, "Why Thomas, how devilishly evil. You could be an informant for me. But if you supposedly don't speak Eltarian and they don't speak English, how will you communicate?"

"Do they speak any other languages?" I nod, giving him a brief rundown of the ones that I know my parents are fairly fluent in. Mid list his eyes light up. "I speak that one too."

"Hmm. A visit with them might end up being fun after all." I give him a quick kiss, which turns heated surprisingly fast. When we do finally break for air, I comment breathlessly, "I think I like it when you play the bad boy."

Thomas waves his hand dismissively while trying to hide a smile. "This is nothing, mate. We'll play that game some other time. Maybe even in a few days, but not tonight."

I give him a lustful look before I return to the stove to reheat our meal. "Mmm. I can play doctor for you and you can be a bad boy for me."

He chuckles lightly behind me. "Well, that's our next two role plays planned out. In the meantime, though, maybe we can start planning our visit to your parents' house."

"You do know how to kill a mood," I tease lightly.

Less than an hour later, we're headed back upstairs. We've made most of our plans - some serious and some not - and I'm almost looking forward to introducing my mate to them. Mentally, I shrug. Either they'll love him or hate him but it won't matter. He's mine and I'm not letting go of him. I pull him close and kiss him thoroughly. I know things are back to normal as I can feel his reaction when he presses against me. It irks me slightly that the female was able to bring this about when I couldn't.

He pulls back, frowning slightly. "What's wrong, Zedd?" As I open my mouth to answer, he warns me, "No lies and no evasions."

"I don't like that the female was able to help you get over your problem and I couldn't" I admit.

"It wasn't really her so much. It was more you than anything."

"But you were with her when-"

He sighs. "If you promise not to get upset about it, I'll explain." When I nod, he says, "While I was talking to her, I took her hands and I was explaining about the bond, I kept getting distracted by how soft her skin was. Not so much because I wanted that, but because it was such a difference from yours. Then she started talking about something and I got sidetracked by her mouth. It brought back a few memories of her, but those changed very quickly to memories of mating with you. That's what unleashed the need to have you - and I wanted to have you right then." He blushes so much it's going down into his collar. "Truthfully, Zedd, at that moment, I'd have happily taken you on the porch and wouldn't have cared a bit if the girls, the kids and half the neighborhood showed up to watch. I definitely would have minded after - I'm no exhibitionist - but at that moment there was nothing in my mind but you - having you."

"I felt how quickly it was getting out of control, thus the reason I told the females not to touch you."

"Which was a good idea" he admits, shame on his face. "It was getting to the point that need was going to win and it didn't matter who with as far as the need was concerned. Once that was satisfied, I'd have rather have died than find out it wasn't with you somehow."

"Even as far gone as you were getting, I find it very difficult to believe that you would have forced one of the females, Thomas. Not with me right there."

His eyes drop. "Zedd, until you put your arms around me, I was having to fight launching myself after them. I'd gotten a whiff of one of their perfumes as they went by and, while the smell was wrong, it called to me all the same. Well, not me, but me."

I nod slowly. "Then you were worse off than I thought. I messaged Pina about your hormone levels. She told me that one option was that you could get very sick, although she didn't specify just how sick. Another option was that you could have forced yourself back into the drive in a day or so."

"Is that why you were dressed like that? To try and seduce me to break through?"

I bite my lip. Reluctantly, I admit, "Yes. That's also why I was asking you about needs and wants in mating. Not that I don't want to know, but I thought that if I could give you something you'd been lacking-"

I'm cut off as he kisses me hard. He slips into Eltarian. "Love you, kalleimat. Love you so much."

He all but rips my pants as he unfastens them and drops them. I pull my shirt off even as he gives his entire focus to my organ. "Oh hells Thomas. So good."

He works me over for a long time before moving me to the bed and then returning to his prior activity. I have no idea how long he keeps up the delicious torture before finally allowing me release. As I recover, he slowly pulls his clothes off, heated gaze raking my body the entire time. He climbs on the bed and lies against me, his own need very obvious even as he waits for me. Unfortunately, with all the mating we've done today, it's going to be a while yet. An idea occurs to me, but I don't know if he'd actually do it. Even so, just the thought causes a twitch in my softened flesh. I'm sure he noticed when he says softly, "What are you thinking about, lover?"

The low, sensual voice slides over me, making me shiver. "You, of course."

Thomas graces me with a sexy half smile. "Oh? What about me?"

"Was wondering if you'd do something for me - well, for us actually."

He purrs at me. "I'd do anything for you. What do you want me to do, Zedd?"

I match his tone as I reply, "I want to watch you."

Smiling but looking slightly confused, he cocks his head to the side curiously. "You were watching me, mate."

Smiling back, I shake my head at his misunderstanding. "No, I mean I want to see you please yourself so I can see what you like."

Somehow I'm not all that surprised at the rapid fire series of emotions my request draws forth. He almost sounds flirty when he says, "Well, I haven't done that in quite some time, but I think I remember how."

"Done what? Pleasured yourself? Or pleasured yourself for a partner?" As sensual and sexual a creature as he can be, I find this very difficult to believe. Plus I know for a fact that he's done that twice since I brought him to my home and that was even before we were mates.

"Since my last girlfriend, it's been all about efficiency" he admits. "Get it done so that I can move on to more important things." Still more proof that he considers himself secondary. I have to figure out a way to help him give himself and his needs more consideration.

"Your needs are important" I remind him.

"Maybe, besides though, that last two times it was more out of need anyways." Blushing slightly he gives a shrug. "Well need and lack of control I guess, considering it was on your bed and all."

"Our bed" I remind him with a smile.

"Yes, our bed now, but at the time it was still yours remember?" Oh I remember all too well, as I can still see him lying there, movie playing, and my name on his lips.

"I remember, love. You have no idea how hard it was for me to hold back when I walked in to see you like that." Kissing him lightly, and rubbing his hand, I try again. "Since I did hold back though, and I didn't get the full show then…Would you mind now?"

"I think I can do that - for you." He gives me a parting kiss before rolling onto his back. I turn on my side so that I can watch him. His eyes close as his hands wander over himself. Caressing his chest makes him sigh, but pinching the hardened nubs causes him to suck in his breath. Slowly his hands coast down his body, avoiding his stiff flesh in favor of the sack beneath.

Tugging, squeezing, caressing, he spends some time there before one hand grasps his organ and begins to slowly stroke. He gives a low moan and I'm almost sure he's forgotten I'm even in the room. He speeds up the motion of his hands for a minute and then returns to the more leisurely pace. He rubs the swollen head for a little bit before gripping himself once more. He shifts a bit, spreading his legs more. As much as I'm enjoying the show, at some point I'd like to see him do this while I'm deep in him.

He repeats the cycle several times while I watch, at one point abandoning his lower body to return to his chest for a bit. And by all the hells is this hot! I've never been this aroused watching my prior mates! And his little sounds of pleasure are making it all the better. Panting heavily now, he increases his pace finally reaching his peak with a muffled cry. His hands slide off his body to rest on the bed beside him, eyes still closed, panting and release now splashed on his stomach and chest, he is a glorious sight to behold.

A few minutes later, Thomas opens his eyes and smiles at me uncertainly. "Is that what you wanted, mate?"

"That. Was. Hot." Each word is punctuated by a kiss. "But if you don't mind me asking, why so restrained - so quiet, love?"

He shrugs lightly. "Old habits die hard, Zedd. Like when you caught me. As you pointed out then, normal practice for such an activity would include closing and possibly locking the door. Well, so would being quiet."

I can't help but frown. "Several times you've made an effort, however briefly, to be quiet since we came to Earth."

"Courtesy. I know that Pina and Dar have heard us far more than I'm comfortable with, really, but-"

He stops but I see where he's going with this. "But it would be worse for Jason to hear us every time we go at it."

He reddens as he nods. "Just like I really wouldn't want to hear him and Hayley going at it." He shudders slightly. "Just - no."

I'm more than a little puzzled. "And yet when you heard Pina and Dar the other morning, you said then that you wanted me."

Thomas chuckles lightly. "As I said earlier, I always want you, kalleimat. Even when I'm angry at you, you are still the sexiest thing I've ever seen."

"Oh really?" He nods firmly. I'm still turned on by watching him. "Even now?"

He reaches up and threads his fingers through my hair before pulling me down for a kiss. "Always" he says, the word sounding like a promise. As he kisses me again, I lean closer, my sensitive flesh brushing against his skin. "Go ahead, lover" he whispers against my mouth. "Take me."

Not needing to be told twice, in a moment I'm positioned and slowly fill him. As this will probably be the last time for either one of us tonight, I want to make this especially good. Slow and easy, we're both taking our time, loving each other as thoroughly as possible in our currently depleted state. A long time later, and still too soon, our cries of passion are muted by the other's mouth. Once we recover enough, we clean up quickly before we curl up together and go to sleep.