ZEDD

Scorpina's joined us in the living room and is wrapping Thomas' things as Dar hands them to her. Hayley is putting them in a box. I'm pacing as we discuss/argue about ways to get the file out of there without him knowing. "You know," Pina says "he'd probably never have given the files a second thought if you hadn't brought attention to them. After all, you said that the box was sitting on it." In fairness she does have a valid point, and had I not been so concerned about him, I very likely would have realized it myself when Hayley first mentioned it.

Sighing, Hayley gives my friend a slight look. "I was only thinking about getting it put up so that the temptation wouldn't even be there."

"Why? I mean, okay, say he did notice it and check it out. What's the worst that could happen?" Has Pina lost her mind? "Besides, doesn't he have the right to know? Isn't that even in your laws?" she asks Hayley.

"Just because he has the right to know, doesn't mean that he should" she snaps back.

"Isn't that his choice?" the warrior hisses back, trying to keep her voice down. "It's a shame that you've known him longer and yet I have more faith in his ultimate strength than you do!"

The Black Ranger's mouth falls open in shock. "You think I have no faith in him? If I had no faith in him, I'd have never helped him with the Rangers in the first place!"

"I didn't say that. I said you have no faith in his strength. That's not the same thing. I have no doubt that he'd pull through whatever he'd find out eventually, however you seem content to let him remain ignorant to it and never have the chance to."

Finally, I speak up as the two women glare at each other. "Okay, enough, both of you. Now listen, you both have valid points. Yes Pina, he does have a right to know what occurred."

"Seriously? I would think you of all people would want to protect him from any more grief and pain."

Turning to address Hayley as she interrupts me with her accusation, I'm definitely not in the mood for it now. "I do, you have no idea how much I do, so back off woman and let me finish what I was saying." Turning back to Pina now that I have the redhead under some control, I continue with my point. "As I was saying, yes, Pina, he has a right to know, and yes, he would pull through eventually with all of us to support him, but why go through it if he doesn't have to? And for that matter, who's to say how long it would take him to get through it?" As they turn to look at me, I shake my head. "He's come so far in just the few months we've had him. Pina, remember when we first arrived at the castle? How skittish he was? I don't want to see him go back to that - even for a minute."

"What about when he was evil?" Dar asks.

"That wasn't so bad when he wasn't beating the hell out of me" I admit. "After all, it's what led to us becoming proper mates so quickly."

"That and the genetic changes" Pina agrees.

"True, however, again it's much more likely he'll revert to how he was when I first rescued him rather than go rogue on us. Especially given the fact he still has minor setbacks when the right, or rather wrong, trigger is given." At their questioning looks, I heave a sigh and elaborate. "When we were still progressing with our mating, I was trying to help encourage and assure him that he was all I wanted. I made the mistake of saying, 'mine, all mine', to him when we were preparing to play and he had a complete panic attack. A few weeks later when he had a lapse in his memories and didn't recall much past his college days he went to draw himself a bath, not recalling why that was a mistake. It wasn't until I felt him panic through the bond that I realized what he'd done and was able to get to him and help him. He at the time didn't even recall why such a thing would make him panic, but it still did."

"So if something as basic as drawing a bath, or stringing some words together in the wrong order is enough to set him off, what in the hell do you think him reading that file will do?" Hayley points out seriously.

I'm about to say something else when I feel something uncomfortable from the bond. I don't know what it is, can't label it, but I don't like the feel of it. Immediately, I head for the den, the others quickly following. Just before I reach the den, I hear a telling thud and know we're about to find out the answer to Hayley's recently posed question. Entering the room carefully I find Thomas sitting on the floor, breathing fast and shallow, staring at nothing, file in hand. Hells. He's rocking slightly and talking to himself. "No, no, no. Zedd won't let them do that to me. Unless it's already happened? They already did it? Can't tell."

"Thomas, love, what is it?" He doesn't seem to hear me. He continues to talk to himself. The file has closed, but his thumb is still marking the place he was last. I gently take the folder from him, keeping his place with my own finger and blindly pass it to Pina. I can hear her open the file and I'll assume she's reading it. "Thomas? Thomas can you hear me?"

Not answering me, but rather continuing his conversation with himself, I'm becoming increasingly worried by the moment.

"Thomas, it's Zedd. I need you to hear me, okay? Everything's fine. You're safe, no one is going to hurt you. I won't let them." Reaching out to try and very carefully coax him to me, I mentally curse as he gives no verbal acknowledgement, but flinches away the second my fingers touch his arm. "Love, come back to me."

It's starting to scare me. He's almost as lost in his own mind as he was when he locked himself up in the dungeon, and I am definitely not wanting a repeat of that little event. Reaching for him again, I feel a small sense of victory as he at least doesn't pull away this time. Still being careful not to make him feel threatened by grabbing for him, I gently run my fingers through his hair. "Thomas, it's okay, tell me. What did they do? I'll fix it, all right? I'll fix it if you tell me what's wrong and what they did to upset you so much."

His gaze never wavers from the spot on the floor and what he says next makes my blood run cold. "Trying to break me and make me a toy. Gonna train me and use me. No, no. Don't want them - just Zedd. Am I already broken? Already trained? All I know about that stuff is from there - from them. But - Zedd likes it, so it's still okay, right?" Oh god.

"Thomas, no, love. They didn't break you - didn't train you. You're not a pet or a toy, Thomas, you're my mate. I love you."

Before I can go on to try and get through to him and reassure him, I hear Pina's low curse behind me. "Hayley, call Jason and see if we can get this poor excuse of a doctor's hard drives. Goldar, I'm going to need you to see if you can work your magic on them, I think. I'm betting he has hidden files and we'll need you to open them." She sets her hand on my shoulder. "Zedd, we need to snap him out of this before it progresses to what happened before in the dungeon. You aren't going to like this, but move and remember that I have his best interests in mind, okay?"

Not liking her instructions, I move away from Thomas, knowing I don't have much of a choice as he's definitely not responding well to me at the moment. "What are you going to do?"

"He's almost hysterical, Zedd" Hayley answers.

Which means- "No!"

Dar grabs me from behind as Pina slaps Thomas almost as hard as Becky had at the hotel. Only Goldar's hold is keeping me from attacking his mate right now. His mood quickly changes to stunned and then to an almost animalistic rage as he locks eyes with Pina. His next words come out in a snarl. "They tried to tame me! Tried to make me a pet!"

He's on his feet in one fluid motion and pacing angrily, hands clenching and unclenching as he moves. Somehow, I don't think this was the reaction that Pina was looking for nor the one that Hayley was expecting. "Thomas, love-"

"Shut up!" Startled, I do and he returns to his rant about all that was apparently planned for him while he was in that place and, while I don't understand all of it, I'm getting angrier and angrier myself at what they planned to do to my mate. My anger swiftly changes to concern when he abruptly slams his fist through a nearby window, shattering it. Pina hurries over to tend to him, seeing the blood running down his arm, but he shoves her away. "Leave me alone! Don't touch me!"

She sprints out of the room. Thomas, in his rage, catches sight of the box he was packing on the corner of the desk. "Stupid junk! It's all pointless and useless!" He grabs the corner and throws it against the wall by the door, missing the remaining three of us by mere inches. He stalks over to the bookshelf and snatches up a fairly heavy looking tome, which he also throws, wiping out the lamp on the desk. The desk chair takes out the remains of the shattered window, even as he begins cursing up a storm, mostly about his prior tormentors.

"Zedd?" Looking at me in clear concern now, Hayley is obviously expecting me to reassure her this is normal, or something I can fix, however she is sorely mistaken this time.

"I don't have a damn clue" I admit, doing my best to shield her from the objects being thrown as I try to come up with something, anything to get through to him now.

Pina returns and speaks in a low voice. "Zedd, Dar - you two are going to have to hold him down while I give him something to calm him down before he destroys the entire house."

Dar releases me. I'm not happy about this, but I know Thomas will be less happy if we allow him to continue to destroy his prized possessions. "I'm sorry, Thomas."

He spins on me. "You're gonna be!" Dar and I pounce on him, which actually would have started one hell of a fight if it hadn't been for a split second of hesitation on his part - assessing who was actually the greater danger to him at that moment. Once pinned, Pina swiftly injects him with something. It only takes about a minute, but he finally goes limp under our hands. Pina turns her attention to his rage driven wounds, dressing them swiftly.

"How long will he be out for?"

Pina shrugs. "I'm not entirely sure. It could be just a couple of hours or it could be the rest of the day."

I'm not happy. "You're kidding me."

"He's not exactly a standard half breed, Zedd. Between that and the powers, it's hard to say. My best guess is he'll be under for four hours. After that he might wake up or he might just go from that to a regular sleep."

I sigh. "All right. Once you're done, I'll settle him in bed. Dar and Pina, would you finish the living room while I try and clean up in here?"

Hayley speaks up. "You stay with him, Zedd. If he wakes sooner than she thinks and he's still not himself, we'll need someone there. I'll clean up in here and check this box and finish packing it for him before I have to go."

"Fine, just be careful of the glass."

It's not long before everyone tries to go about their work and I have him settled in bed. I'm sitting up next to him, reading the file for myself. It seems that when the female sent us the medical records, she only sent the drug records. There's considerably more here and I'll admit I'm not pleased that neither she nor Jason ever bothered to share some of it with me. Not to mention the fact that as I read, something about these notes seems to be - off - somehow, but I can't put my finger on what it is. They seem to be awfully detailed for someone coming across this information second hand. Supposedly, according to the headers on the pages, these were written by the doctor as it was told to him by John. I frown. Very few humans have memories that precise and John certainly isn't one of them. So then how- abruptly I realize that the doctor didn't get this information from the orderly. The doctor had to have seen what was done to my mate - either in person or by camera.

I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Him. Slowly. Painfully. For a long, long time. What Thomas did to Annwyl will be nothing compared to what I'm going to do to that subhuman. Quite frankly, Ben the music store clerk ranks above this son of a bitch. My rage cools slightly and my heart aches as I look over at my mate. How could anyone treat him like that? Especially given the fact he was already so hurt and lost at the time. I return my attention to the file. Some of these notes do seem to indicate that Thomas was one of a select few that they were planning to - use - for fun and profit. It seems like a certain kind of brain damage was required as well as being rather comely. I shake my head and return to my reading.

SOME TIME LATER

I jerk awake, momentarily disoriented. I fell asleep while reading the file on Thomas from rehab, my anger and exhaustion apparently getting the better of me. Trying to determine what woke me, it doesn't take long before my mate's distress registers and I look over to see him squirming in his sleep. Hell, this again. Realizing I'll very likely be dealing with his nightmares once more, at least for the next day or two, I try and focus enough to reassure him. "Shh, Thomas. It's all right. I'm here. You're safe, love."

He settles down for a minute and then starts wiggling again. Watching carefully, my best guess is whatever he's dreaming about, he's being restrained, and not in a very pleasant way I would imagine. I reach over and touch his arm, startled when his eyes suddenly snap open. Quickly, he rolls away from me and off the side of the bed before he backs against the wall. I stay where I am, giving him a minute to recover from his disorientation. Once he does, he slides down the wall until he's sitting on the floor, resting his forehead on his knees and looking the definition of defeated.

I slowly move over to him, sitting in front of him just in time to hear what he's saying to himself. "It's okay. It wasn't real. It's okay. Nobody's going to use me any more. Nobody but Zedd."

I barely smother my gasp. "Thomas, I'm not going to use you."

He doesn't move. "Of course you are, Zedd. I promised you that for one week you could do whatever you wanted, whenever you wanted to me without me arguing or complaining. I'm not going to back out of my promise. So, for one week, whenever you choose, I won't argue or complain about whatever you want to do to or with me."

"B-but, Thomas, I told you no! I said I wasn't going to hold you to that!"

"That was the deal I offered you, Zedd. If you promised, then that's what you'd get in return. You promised and now you just have to let me know when I have to hold up my end of it." Quite frankly, I can think of any number of ways that I can use that to my advantage to take care of him and spoil him, but that's not really the point. Even knowing it would be temporary, the idea of commanding him, him being totally obedient to me sends a chill down my spine - and not in a good way. Not like this - because he has to.

"I have no intention of ever calling it in, Thomas. I'd like to think you know me well enough to know that."

He shrugs. "That's up to you. It's yours to use whenever you choose."

"Well I choose not to" I state firmly, before heaving a sigh and studying him carefully. "Are you all right, love?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure? You still seem to be a little shaken, though I suppose that could be from shock or blood loss."

Looking at his bandaged hand and arm, he makes a soft noise of acknowledgment. "Had worse."

"Yes, but not by your own doing."

Softly he says, "I almost wish I'd never looked at the file. Almost."

"It's pretty harsh reading" I agree. "But in truth there wasn't a lot there that you hadn't already told me."

"Maybe, it's just…different, reading it from someone else's perspective I guess. You know I can never, in any way, pay you back for saving me when you did."

"Love, I didn't do it for you to owe me in any way. I did it because I felt I owed you. I've told you that."

He shrugs again before turning his head and looking at me. The haunted look in his eyes tells me more about how deeply this has affected him than the little I'm getting through the bond. "I can't believe I was so close to being nothing more than a living, breathing sex toy. I knew I was slipping away, Zedd, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. Two more minutes and they'd have raped me, but one more week and all you'd have rescued would have been a - sex pet." Disgust drips from his voice. "At that point, it would have been a mercy to kill me."

I don't really know what to say to this, part of me wants to try and reassure him that I have seen pets of that nature in the past that have had plenty to live for, however another part honestly just wishes to shake the hell out of him for putting himself through this once more. "But that's not what happened, I showed up in time, we got you out of there, and you're fine."

"What if I don't stay that way though?"

"What?"

"What if I'm not fine, or something happens? It's not just me that would suffer now."

"What are you talking about?"

"Even now, if something ever happens, if I do ever get lost like that, you're stuck with me because of the bond. What good would I be like that to you?" Okay I know he's not looking for the obvious answer here, so…

"Thomas, I will never allow that to happen."

"Not if you have anything to say about it" he agrees. "I know." He sighs heavily.

"Yes, not if I have anything to say about it" I repeat firmly, seeing his unhappiness at my typical answer to such a concern. "And just so you know, even if I somehow, some way am not able to stop it from happening again, I will not be 'stuck' with you. You're my mate, I love you, no matter what. I don't care if I have to take care of you, Thomas." Pausing as I recall something, I quickly switch gears a bit. "Do you remember your first day on the ship with me? How after you ate I helped you change into a clean shirt? Or how your second day at home I helped you wash in the bath?"

"Yeah."

"How about when I tied your boots for you, or helped you get changed for bed?" When he nods slightly I continue. "Thomas I didn't do all of that because I had to, or because I was stuck with you, I did it because I wanted to. I liked spending time with you and I liked being able to help you when you needed it. Even before we became mates the drive to protect and keep you close to me was there, nothing is going to change that. Trust me."

Still looking a bit doubtful he at least gives a small nod before relenting for the moment.

Deciding to switch topics to a degree, I again look at his well bandaged arm. "Love, do you remember what happened before Pina had to sedate you?"

"Most of it, but it's all jumbled and messed up. Why?"

"You said that they were trying to train you and make you a toy. You said that all you know about that stuff you learned there - from them. You know that isn't true, right? Honestly the little bit you 'learned' there is nothing compared to what we've taught each other since then."

He rolls his eyes. "Like I've been able to teach you anything about sex, Zedd. I'd hate to accuse you of lying to me, but I'm very, very close to doing it now."

"Well, when you put it like that, then no you haven't really taught me all that much about sex." Ignoring his mumbled 'told you', I go on. "But you have taught me a great deal about, um-" I pause trying to recall the phrase. "Making love. How things are done sometimes when there's more between two people than just mutual satisfaction. When there's real feelings involved."

His brow furrows. "I did?"

I nod. "Remember, I've not had a relationship like ours before, love. I know we both enjoy sex, but sometimes making love is what we need and want. You taught me how to do that and I have no doubt there's quite a bit more that you can teach me."

He sighs. "I doubt that, but okay. Sorry I flipped out - again."

"Perhaps the next time you want to do something that could cause such a reaction, you could at least let me in on it. At the very least, I could be by your side to anchor you to the here and now instead of you getting lost in the past again."

"Didn't think of that, Zedd. I just knew that you'd be likely to try and stop me or distract me from doing it." Pretty much like I said I would stop him from pulling another stunt as he had with locking himself in the dungeon.

Deciding not to deny it, I give a nod. "Oh, I would have, but if you truly wanted or needed to read what it said, I'd have been more than happy to stay by your side while you did it. If anything then just to make certain you were all right."

"I promise to try and include you next time my stubbornness and curiosity gets the better of me." That'll have to do for now I suppose, though I just hope he remembers that promise the next time such an occasion comes around.

"All right, I'll just have to make certain I hold you to it."

He sighs again and heaves himself off the floor, hissing in discomfort when he uses his hand. "Well, either way, there's still a lot to do."

"Love, I don't think you can wrap your things properly with your hand like that. Why don't you give it until tomorrow when it'll be at least a bit more healed? Besides I'm sure that the others have continued to work while you were out and I watched over you."

"Maybe, but I'd still prefer to do some things myself, as certain items like the fossils and in the den need to be packed a certain way so they-" Suddenly stopping, he pales slightly. "Oh god. I threw my box of fossils. Those are irreplaceable!" You also put your hand through a pane of glass, but no let's focus on your rocks instead, that's what's important here.

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes slightly at his priorities I make certain to keep my response calm and reassuring. "Thomas it's all right, they were packed rather well when you tried to take us out with the box and even so, Hayley was going to look them over for you and make sure you hadn't damaged anything."

"What the hell was I thinking? Never mind, I know what I was thinking."

I stand and pull him into my arms. "It'll be okay, Thomas." He holds himself stiffly for a minute before he relaxes against me. "I love you."

"I wish I understood why."

"Well, why do you love me?" I ask reasonably.

"You know why."

"Humor me."

Sighing in a rather put-upon manner, he nevertheless seems more amused then anything when he answers. "You're smart, sexy, fun, strong, have a great sense of humor, mischievous, sexy-"

"You already said that, love."

He looks at me with a small smirk. "Well, yeah, because just saying it once doesn't begin to cover it."

"Makes sense" I answer straight faced. Still, I kiss him lovingly. "And for all those same reasons, Thomas, I love you."

"Minus one 'sexy'."

"Oh no. You are every bit as sexy as I am."

"Yeah? Maybe you should prove it to me." Tempting.

"I might be able to manage that. However, for now, how are you feeling?"

Shrugging and laying his head against my shoulder he goes quiet for a moment before answering softly. "As good as can be expected I guess. My hand hurts a bit, but that's a given. Still a bit off from whatever Pina gave me, but that could just be from my earlier fit as well."

"Hmm, could be. Maybe I need to check you over though. Just to be safe."

He lifts his head slightly and raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh really. 'Doctor' Zedd is on call, is he?"

"If you like" I purr at him.

"I'm not sure. I've not had very good experiences with doctors before now."

"Well that's because you've never had me before. I am of course the best of the best." Smiling as this gets a small laugh from him, I urge him off of me and toward the bed. "Perhaps you should get undressed. Might as well do a thorough exam after all."

"I guess that'd be okay. But you come at me with any more needles and you're going out the window."

"Fair enough."

He strips out of the shirt and boxers I'd left him in while he slept and perches on the edge of the bed looking a bit nervous, but still clearly interested in what I have planned.

Grabbing a pen that's sitting on the dresser I put on a professional demeanor and look into his eyes. "Good, eyes are clear. Now just follow the pen." Actually making him do this to make certain enough of the sedative is out of his system to let him focus rather than just to play the part I'm in right now, I'm somewhat satisfied as he obliges me and seems to be for the most part fine.

Discarding the pen after I tap him playfully on the head with it, I next rest my hand on his chest, smiling slightly as I feel it pound under my palm. "Heartbeat is strong and steady." I continue the 'exam', ignoring his obvious interest even as I'm caressing the rest of him as much as I can. After checking his throat, nipping at the earring in his ear, and checking his reaction to me raking my nails down his spine as he'd done me at the reunion, I definitely think it's safe to say he's past any hesitation he had when we first began this game. Finally running out of places to tease, as well as self-control, he's panting slightly when I say, "Everything looks good so far, now if you'll get on your hands and knees, Dr. Oliver, we can move on to the next part."

Faking innocence, he does his best to appear confused by the request, even as I feel the surge of want through the bond. "Why? What's the next part?"

"Internal exam" I reply as professionally as I can. "It's a fairly routine matter."

Sounding nervous, he shoots me a 'scared' look over his shoulder as he replies. "What are you going to do?"

"Check to make certain you're healthy of course" I reply reasonably. "Now can you position yourself as I asked or do you need help?"

"I can manage, I suppose." He does as instructed and I gently run my hand over his posterior, grinning at the low moan this earns me. Gradually, I draw my finger over to his hole, teasing it slightly before I start to ease it in. Out and back in a little deeper with each repetition. It's not really all that long before I add a second finger, making him tremble. "Does it always take this long?"

"We have to be thorough to make certain all is well." Suddenly brushing my finger tip against just the right spot, I smirk in amusement as he lets out a yelp of surprise. "See, that there may be a problem. I'll have to check again just to be certain."

Managing to steady himself this time, and do no more than release a low moan of want as I push against his prostate once more, I have to give him credit, he does have fairly good self-control, far better than I'd have if the situation were reversed I think. "So how does it look, doctor?" he asks shakily.

"I'm not certain yet. I think I'm going to have to perform a deeper exam though as I'm just not getting the results I'm after." I pull my fingers out of him and quickly strip out of my clothes before positioning myself behind him on the bed. "Now hold still, you're going to feel a little discomfort at first."

"Why? Are you using something else instead of your fingers now?"

"Yes, something much better for this sort of test" I inform him, unable to keep the smile out of my voice.

In a minute, I'm sinking my length into his depths, trembling myself as I take it slowly, occasionally pulling back before moving forward once more.

"Somehow I don't think this is right. I've never had such an - invasive exam before" he pants with a small whine.

"New procedure. Much more pleasant than the old style of exams" I answer, my own voice unsteady. Once I'm all in, I reach around and give him a couple of firm strokes. He pushes back against me with a loud moan. "Reactions are good, but a little below norm. Let's see if we can fix that."

I don't move my hips, but continue to stroke him until he explodes in my hand, muscles tightening around me. "Oh god!" I begin to move slowly, extending his pleasure as much as I can. He drops his head and shoulders to the bed in the aftermath, though he is clearly not completely sated, yet. "M-more please, doctor."

"As you wish." I move a little harder and faster as he muffles his moans in the mattress. "The exam isn't over yet, Dr. Oliver. Now we move on to the second part of the test."

"The second part?"

"I've determined that you are in desperate need of some very specific medicine, however I'm afraid there's only one way to give it to you at the moment."

"W-which is?"

"A rather large injection."

I give him all I have in power and speed, holding on to my own need to finish. He begins to thrash under me, fingers digging grooves in the bedding in spite of his injured hand. "Yes! Oh god yes! More! So good!"

I can hear how rough and harsh my voice is when I say, "Now for the injection."

I reach around him once more and stroke him hard and fast, wanting him with me. He cries out as I thrust deeply one last time, our releases seeming to come simultaneously. When we're both done, I collapse on him, unable to move at the moment.

"So now that I've had my exam and medicine, what's your diagnosis?" he teases wearily, though at least seeming rather content as he does.

Taking a moment I finally manage to gasp out, "You seem to be in fairly good physical condition, but I'd recommend that you get these injections on a regular basis."

He laughs a little, the sated sound making me smile. "I'll make sure to do that, doctor."