Disclaimer: Hello, my name is Bob. I live in a cardboard box of the sidewalk of downtown Vancouver, and I own Harry Potter. (Just kidding!)

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Replies:

sodchick: -Looks around- you killed my fic. You shall die. Grr.

Boblin: Thanks sooooooo much for replying! You rock.

fanficky-chicky: -bursts out crying- I KNOW. –goes off to be all emo- I feel the music… the keyboard to talking to me. Ahhh!

Sodchick: One review isn't enough, eh? Leave me alone.

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Lily had been sitting in her bed for the past half hour just starring at the ceiling of the hospital wing. She sighed for what had seemed like the 26 time. She was in deep thought about love - What was it? Was it possible to feel it with more then one person? Do people change really, or do you just look at them differently? So many unanswered questions were swarming around her head; she was feeling better though, her throat was no longer stratchy and her hair was once again ginger. She could hear someone talking to the nurse but her thoughts were so profound that the noises seemed subdued. She found James sits in a chair beside the end of her bed shortly.

"So... I talked to the nurse. She said that you seemed to have a case of nothing but stress." James told her breaking up these thoughts.

"Hm." Lily replied brusquely. There was silence.

"So. Um… look, Lil's…" James was in a state of panic, "I- You – Um… Lily, you're not going to better unless you clear yourself from whatever stress-filled situation you're in. I want to help you."

She sighed, she hated people helping her. It made her feel senseless.

"Lil's," he continued, "You need help. Your potions mark… it's lower then mine. You need someone to help you." He was pleading her, "I can be your tutor."

She gave in. "Fine."

He looked as if he had just won the Quidditch World Cup. A grin as gigantic as Mount Everest was sprawled transversely along his face.

"Great."

She sighed turning in her covers.

"Lily?" she heard him ask.

"Yes?" she replied irritated. She just wanted to be left unaccompanied.

"You know the Halloween Dance is tomorrow night and-", he sighed, "I was wondering – if you feel better – if you would want to go with me?"

She felt a lump in her throat. "Someone already asked me. And…"

"Oh, right." James said understanding. "Well… I better be off to class then."

She heard he leave promptly outside the doors of the hospital wing. She could help but feel like a bitch.

-

After reasoning with Madam Promfrey for a few hours that night, Lily was allowed to leave the next morning. She left the hospital wing without making the bed she'd been sleeping in for the past 3 days and deceased welted flowers on the bedside table.

She strolled down the hall trying her preeminent to be cheerful and do not take into account the battle that was still occurring inside of her. Swinging her arms like a nutty rag doll she entered the Head Girl and Boy loft to find Snape on the couch reading a book. He looked up smiling to find her standing in the door way.

"Hi." Snape whispered softly waving.

She headed in his direction and plopped on the couch beside him.

"Feeling better now?"

She nodded.

"Not in a bitchy state?"

"No."

"So you won't yell at me if I give you the homework you missed yesterday?"

She smiled, "I might have to think about that."

He smiled back. "So… are we still on for tonight?"

"Yes. I'm up for anything outside the hospital wing," she replied.

"So you're not going chicken on me?" he joked.

She had to think about this – every time she thought she would become reminded of the battle. "Oh course not," she said.

"Good." Snape put his arm around her and leaned in, their lips met as he kissed her tenderly before pulling away.

It felt so right for Lily. Having their body connected made her feel safe, like everything was going to be alright. She leaned in again to kiss him softly. His lips were extremely moist and plush. She kissed him for the third time, first soft and then firm as his pulled her body closer to his, his manly hands were configured to excavate into every bone in her back. She now had her finger nails tied into his hair. It was when she felt his tongue teasing her lower lip that she stopped.

"What's wrong?" he asked searching her face for clues.

She looked around apprehensively, "How much time do we have till the dance?"

"Ah… about 4 hours."

She smiled, "Good."

He smiled back and with that they embraced again, this time she allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. He leaned forwards even more that way he was now fully on top of her, his palms were holding up his entire body that way he wouldn't squish her - It was just like one of his dreams. Her hands were insecurely placed on Snape's butt. Lily was now kissing his neck softly, she felt as if she was washing away any reservations on whether they could be together.

She managed to push him over that way she was on top. For a minute there she saw James body below her, but hastily pushed these thoughts out of her mind. She unbuttoned his collar shirt leaving it settled on the floor.

-

They were still cuddled up on the couch a few hours later, her head was settled on his naked chest (AN- I know want you're thinking Em. It was just a snog – no sex. Keep on reading for a lemon. ;) ), he was so sweaty that her ginger hair was sticking to him.

"Lily…" he breathed, "We really should get ready for the ball…"

She wined, "I don't want to."

He yawned, "If you want we can skip it and spend the rest of the night here."

Lily would have liked that. She was far too exhausted to go to a public festival, also, the thought that tonight the whole school would see them together (including James)– something she wasn't looking forwards too. She was somewhat reluctant of loving him. This made her feel dense; it wasn't as if she was doing something wrong. But then she thought of the entire dilemma he had gone though to give her the dress she wanted.

"No… we'll go." She prided herself off of him and left her room to get ready.

-

"You – You look…" he was searching for the proper words, "…Gorgeous."

She couldn't help but blush, "So do you."

She was in her own room standing at the newly installed vanity table. Snape was in the doorway of the room, his head was nestled on the pane.

"Could you help me?" she asked holding up her necklace.

He stood behind her with the necklace in his finger tips, he threw it over her hair in a twisting motion and fettled with the clip till it locked in place, hanging on her neck. His hands traveled from her neck to her shoulders to her waist. He was now sympathetically kissing her on the neck.

She turned around and their lips met one again. Then, wrapping their arms together they left for fate was waiting for them.

It was at the point in which they left the common room that Lily started to feel emotionally sick. Even though no one was around the halls the Head common room was in she could hear chatter far off in the distance – she could already feel the eyes pressed up on her.

They entered the hectic hallway to find to Lily's relief that no one that they knew was there. As they entered the Great Hall; Lily still decisively clutched around Snape's arm; she recognized several people that they knew. She once again had the desire to vomit, but stopped herself and instead dug her nails into Snape. He didn't seem to mind.

She just wanted to get this over and done with. They headed over to the crowded dance floor, Snape took his hand in hers and they began to dance – if that's what you would refer to it – it was more like rocking back and forth slowly. Lily suddenly realized at that time that she was forgetting to breath, she let in a huge breath that was immense enough to echo though the whole entire hall, her face was completely flushed in redness. Snape smiled at her state of panic.

"It's okay," he whispered to her delicately.

She was on the verge of tears as she heard people softly whispering to each other somewhere behind her.

He rubbed her back softly, "Lil's, its okay."

She took other deep breath, louder then before. He stopped the rocking.

Sighing he spoke, "Let's go home… I knew this was an atrocious idea…"

"No!" she protested, wiping her eyes, "I'm fine."

He didn't want to fight with her, "Okay, let's take a break though... do you want something to drink? You're all red…"

She nodded, "Yeah, some water would be fastidious… with a lemon, please?"

(NA: Ha-ha, told you I would put in a lemon!)

"Okay."

They parted for the first time since arriving, Lily headed to the tables as Snape left to find the refreshments table. She felt as if everyone's pupils were following her moving action as she wondered off. Their stares pushed her into the ground, causing incineration.

She sat down on the chair, pushing her hair out of her perspiring face. She felt something sit next to her, turning her head slowly she looked.

It was James.

He had a look of shock, worry, and rejection all rolled together.

"So… you ditched me for snivelers?"

She gulped, this was going to be tough. "Ummm…"

"Why would you do that? Fucking fit…"

She went red in the face, "I dunno… I guess he just asked me and I felt sorry for him…"

He scoffed, "I would have told him to fuck off."

"Well… I'm not you."

"No, duh."

She would have given anything in the world to tell him off right there, instead her peered at the ground lamely, "Are you incensed with me?" she asked.

"I just don't know WHY on earth you would do that…"

'I love him.' She thought.

"I don't know." She said.

He sighed deeply, "Look… Lily, the Gryffindor's are having a party tonight in the Common Room, and I would like you to join, you haven't been hanging out with us in a while, and quite frankly… you coming here with Severus Snape scares me. Are you sure you're not sick anymore?"

'Just punch him and leave.'

"No, no, I'm FINE. As for the party," she rubbed her temple, "I dunno… I'm Head Girl and it's in opposition to the code…"

"Common Lily! Be a rebel for once and stop distressing… I'm not leaving till you agree." He crossed his arms.

"Okay, Okay… when is the party?"

"Umm, now."

"NOW!"

"Yeah, that's kind of what I said…"

'Kick him… down below, right there, in the balls… idiot.'

She rubbed her temple, "I can't."

"Why?"

She looked in the direction that Snape left, James seems to move his pupils along with her.

"Oh…" he sighed, "Snapie-poo."

Her fists clenched.

"What ever, we'll just leave… he won't notice. Who the fuck gives a shit about him anyways? Do you?"

Her head didn't move; she was NOT going to answer that. James took that as a no.

"Well, common then…"

She bit her lip. Why did it have to be like this? James grabbed her wrist, gripping it so tightly that she could move her whole arm and together they left.

Behind her she heard the sound of two glasses of water dropping to the earth.

-

AN- Okay, in the middle of writing this chapter I thought 'You know what? This really isn't worth it anymore… I'm not enjoying myself.' This is because I had gotten 3 reviews and I felt like no one was interested in this anymore… I wasn't sure if it was because of the whole thing with James but you have to understand that I'm going for an in-character piece, that doesn't mean I'm not into writing passionate love scenes, it just means that Lily is going to be going though some challenges to get to that point with her relationship with Snape. Overcoming her love for James is one of them, once she does over come this though - and it IS going to happen in this story - snogging will become a huge factor. That is if I can keep an audience long enough for that to happen, and I will NOT rush it.

So, please, review and show be that you're still there. Because right now… I'm not feeling anything.

-Jeni

xoxox