AN: Oh yeah, quick update, I'm writing this so freaking late at night but I'm kind of wired off of coke zero. So I decided to start with Sakura's side, just 'cause I think writing Itachi is going to be a major bitch, albeit more humorous (If I don't butcher it) still horribly HARD. Enjoy: D

Warnings: Language, Original character and possibly OOC-ness, depending how anal you are about Sakura… Or the little known characteristics of Kisame.


Somewhere north of the wind country…

Sakura groaned as light shone through the slightly ajar shoji screen. Naruto must have brought me here after the fight. Squinting, she reached a hand up to wipe her face. Ugh… this headache is worse than that time Tsunade convinced me to go on that sake bender with her. She reached up her left hand to pour some soothing chakra into her temples, too bad she didn't notice the odd flow and configuration of the chakra compared to her own more normal one. Instead it was then that she noticed the black nail polish adorning well looked after fingernails and soft un-calloused hands.

Blinking, the med-nin sat up yawning so wide that she cracked her jaw. Stretching and cracking her shoulders Sakura noticed her rather poor eyesight as she looked around the sparsely decorated room. Huh, that's strange. Sakura brought chakra laden fingers to right underneath her eyes, to assess what exactly was wrong with her. Sucking in a sharp breath, Sakura was startled to see how much scar tissue there was surrounding her lens and covering the retina.

As there was no way a blow to her head could have caused this type of excessive damage she had to wonder. Just how long was I out for? And for that matter, where's Naruto? I'm obviously not in Konoha or I'd be at the hospital… but if I'm not at the hospital, Naruto probably wouldn't leave my side… unless… Oh please no. Suddenly Sakura's eyes filled with tears as an image of Naruto in the clutches of Akatsuki, with who knows what kind of tortures he was being put through. Oh, this was terrible, she failed; she wasn't able to protect Naruto let alone help him. That bastard was right, she was useless…

No… she had to think positive. Naruto wouldn't give up, I won't either. I have to get off my ass, contact Tsunade or sensei and make a plan. And maybe find out where I am and maybe what that weird red explodey light was… The explosion! Sakura stood up quickly, which turned out to be a mistake, seeing as how she was still feeling dizzy and incredibly off balanced for some odd reason.

It was then that she noticed the full length mirror across the room. Wow, there must really be something wrong with my eyes because I don't remember my hair being black… Then again, have I always been this far away from the ground? She tottered her way over to the mirror to take a closer look.

What looked back at her in an odd blur was a half naked Itachi with his mouth hanging open obviously stupefied. Sakura experimentally raised her right arm and gave a girlish wave. So did Itachi. Sakura tilted her head left and right then shook her now longer and A LOT blacker hair out. So did Itachi. In an attempt to prove herself wrong, Sakura gnashed her teeth at the reflection, and then began swaying her hips in that "seductive" way Ino had shown her months ago for her sixteenth birthday. Itachi, in nothing but long black sweatpants and his well muscled torso naked, did too.

Sakura now breathing in quickly, practically panicking, looked down at what wasn't her body. Great, it's not like I was particularly well stacked before but now… Why am I taking this so calmly? Oh I know, because there is no possible way this is happening. Or that I'm totally nuts. Okay pinch myself, that works in the movies right? Ow! Okay, no maybe not but… maybe this is just a really good genjutsu. Okay, okay, release! No, not that either… But maybe I should just check down there…? She brushed her hand had down her now hard pectorals and down her abs of steel to the waist band on her pants. Sucking in a breath, Sakura pulled the band away from his waist and let a surprised squeak and blushed at what she saw through unfocused eyes.

Oh my… Sakura suddenly was hyperventilating, her hands still griping the front of her pants. Oh no, this isn't happening, no way, no way, no way. How can I… I'm dreaming, yeah, that's it. I'm only a bit messed up because of that genjutsu he pulled, that's it. Please say I'm hallucinating and that I'm just insane, that'd be a heck of a lot better then what I think is happening. Oh no, what do I do-

Sakura never finished her thought because the shoji screen banged open to her left. A blond woman, with a ponytail bobbing behind her head as she scuffled in barefoot looking to be almost a head taller then Sakura's current height. She wasn't looking, carrying items in her arm used for treating injuries and a plate of dango. She was humming a pleasant tune and set the items on the small table in the corner. Holy crap she is really tall… even compared to Itachi…Sakura let out a small breath at that. This happened to alert the blond who swung around with a gasp and instantly bowed.

"Itachi-sama, my apologies, I never meant to intrude, I was being in-attentive again, please forgive me…" She trailed off as she looked up to her superior, shock clearly showing on her face. For one thing Itachi had an equally shocked if not bewildered look on his face and was currently gripping his pants away from him. She suddenly frowned then growled gnashing her teeth and showing pointy incisors. Standing up straight, she howled at the top of her lungs "Kisame! Did you fucking feed Itachi-sama those hallucinogenic mushrooms again?" She really seemed quite angry, her hazel green eyes flashing.

God I hope so…Sakura thought silently as she stared at the blond her jaw slackened, her eyes wide and her eyebrows disappearing into Itachi's dark loosened hair. At least she was until Hoshigaki Kisame stomped into the room in nothing but a towel around his waist, coarse hair dripping and a sake bottle in his hand. "'The fuck are you accusing me of now, you stupid fat bitch? I was just in the bath, what the fuck is your problem now?" Kisame's brows were drawn together in annoyance as he glared at the blond, who glared back equally annoyed. Then he noticed Sakura-in-Itachi's-body standing there mouth agape, having a borderline panic attack.

Confused, Kisame inquired a bit tentative, or as tentative as an abrasive foul mouthed shark man could get, "Uh… Itachi are you feeling alright? You're looking a bit…paler… then usual. You hit that tree pretty hard a few hours ago; I thought you'd be over it but…" Sakura's mind was reeling, she was feeling woozy and her stomach was in knots. She stopped listening to him ramble nervously and began thinking. If I'm here in Itachi's body… does that mean Itachi is in my body… In Konoha? Oh please no…

Just like that Sakura promptly fainted, her overloaded brain finally just shutting itself off and she fell backwards her head hitting the ground hard. Perhaps if she woke up again in a few hours she would be in her bed, Naruto coming to obnoxiously wake her up bringing half Konoha to visit her, with her headache and all. Yes, oblivion sounded inviting.

Both blond and shark man paused, before the blond glowered at Kisame. "Way to go dumbass! Ugh! Now I have to go get the stupid smelling salts." She stomped out of the room and down the hall muttering about over zealous psychopaths.

Kisame turned to his again comatose comrade and pinched his nose blowing a sigh out of his nostrils. He just hoped that when Itachi came to he wouldn't be so twitchy. That would make his already trying life more difficult if he was. He growled as he squatted down onto the floor to wait for Itachi to wake again. Maybe then he could finally ask what was with that weird explosion with that girl who had the nice ass from Konoha. Because that was a tad bit disturbing, Itachi never got caught in blasts, he never got hurt for that matter. So much for the invincible Uchiha. For now he would sit and wait while drinking his still warm sake. "Ah fuck me…"


AN: Yeah, that coke is finally wearing off… How fun…: P so within the next week I should probably spit out my Itachi chapter… Gawd that is gunna be bad. Just remember before you flame me, I'm not doing this for quality I'm doing this for Woooo writing bender! And other thingies… So Review, It'd be nice, to you know light that fire under my ass to make me write. Till next time,

Meow-za