Lustless
"If you keep this up, you'll lose him…"
Soubi glanced over his shoulder at the teacher sitting on the edge of his bed. He was removing another one of those expensive brands of cigarettes from his coat pocket and withdrawing one. The fluid movements were enough to make the man feel sick.
"I know." He said quietly, turning his attention back to his refrigerator where he had been looking for a canned tea to drink but due to the recent occurrences with Ritsuka…he had neglected to buy any kind of food or beverage for some time. All he had was an open soda left behind by Kiio on his last visit. "But I don't recall inviting you into my apartment."
"I just followed you in. Normally I would have called…" Ritsu-sensei placed the cigarette between his lips and ignited a match to light it. As smoke curled up from the burning tip, his eyes glanced up at Soubi with his unintentionally sharp gaze. "…but you would have just hung up on me without even answering. I can't keep leaving the school like this, Soubi-kun."
"Then stop coming here." The Sentouki said, not daring to raise his voice to his former teacher but the annoyance was definitely hanging upon the very edge.
"But then I will not be able to check on your progress," Ritsu-sensei exhaled, the sickly perfumed scent of the cigarette smoke making Soubi frown and abandon his fruitless search for a beverage, opening the door to his small porch to allow it to pass out into the chilling early evening atmosphere.
"I'm starting to think that your idea of names being changed is a lie…"
"And for what purpose would I lie to you, Soubi-kun?"
Agatsuma touched his chin, turning to face the doorway, ignoring the teacher as he rose from where he had been seated and advanced slightly upon his former student.
"The truth is…there is no reason to lie to you." He said softly, reaching out from behind him and lightly running his fingers into Soubi's ponytail that he had half-heartedly adorned upon his returning home. The strands felt so soft in spite of belonging to such a rude man.
Soubi brushed the hand away, stepping away from Ritsu but finally facing him.
"Soubi-kun…"
"Only Ritsuka can touch me like that." He said, peering over his glasses at the teacher with a cold glare.
"Ah, I see…" Ritsu-sensei lowered his hand, slipping it into his pocket as he pinched his cigarette between two fingers with his other hand, smoke creeping from his lips a moment before he blew the rest away. "I have been declined the possibility of experiencing that touch again, is that right?"
"Yes." He said darkly.
Nodding a little, Ritsu turned away, heading towards the door. As he reached for the handle, he paused and peered back over at the Fighter.
"Find out how he feels about you, Soubi-kun. Or you'll be as separate as you have ever been since the day you met."
"You're inviting that kid over!"
"Kiio, he's not a kid anymore."
Kiio pouted, "I know that…but he still seems like a kid to me."
"Why are you here?" Soubi asked; arching an eyebrow as he noticed something in Kiio's hand that was hanging at his side while the other was hanging onto yet another sucker, today's flavor was a too sweet lemon.
"Oh, that's right…I wanted you to make this into a painting. A client wanted this picture made into a beautiful painting and since it had a butterfly, I thought I'd have you do it."
"It's not my client." Soubi said, picking up a painting that had fallen over from where it had been propped against the wall.
"But you're always painting butterflies, Soubi!" Kiio whined.
The Sentouki ignored the whines and focused on carefully plucking a few hairs from the painting he had picked up. He had to be careful since the painting was mostly oils and were still not completely dry, in fact they wouldn't be for a while now. It was a miracle that none had gotten on the floor.
"Come on! Paint it! If it's good…I'll shut up about Ritsuka."
Soubi stiffened a moment, resting the painting back against the wall and slowly turning to Kiio, a sly smirk creeping across his lips. "Is that your price?"
Kiio swallowed. Now I'm not sure if that's what I'll use for payment…I know!
He grinned, "I'll ravage you until you can't sta—"
Soubi was already observing the picture, Kiio not even realizing that he had already taken it from his hand while saying he would do it. That was the power of Soubi's words…he could make Kiio forget what was happening all around him. If he used the right tones the man would forget that he had even spoken…
"I'll work on it until Ritsuka arrives. When is the deadline?"
"Um…the fourteenth…"
"That gives me till next month then." Soubi said softly, observing the butterfly on the photograph, it was a blue butterfly...
Soubi chortled to himself.
Funny how it turns out to be blue…
"Well, if you're going to do it...then I guess I should just go ahead and let you get to it." Kiio said, slowly advancing towards the door, all the while he stared over his shoulder at Soubi to see if he would stop him. Reconsider seeing Ritsuka and stop his cradle-robbing ways…
"Alright."
Was all he said.
"S-Soubi…" Kiio's eyes watered, "Y-YOU'RE SO CRUEL!"
The Fighter peered up in confusion just as his friend ran out the door, letting it slam behind him. He stared at the paneling for the longest time before he finally felt a smile curve his lips and he lowered his eyes to the photograph again.
"Cruel…huh?" he murmured. Maybe I am…
As he retreated to his bed, sinking onto the edge, Soubi continued to stare down at the delicate blue butterfly on the picture. For some reason he couldn't take his eyes off it for very long…the vibrant blue was beautiful and the blurry background made his eyes want to focus on the insect even more.
I am cruel…especially when I am with Ritsuka.
"Soubi?"
Ritsuka looked the door up and down for a moment, his breath drifting up in small white puffs as the early winter evening tried to rob him of all of his precious heat. He reached up and once again knocked upon the painted wood of the Sentouki's apartment door. The brass numbers rattling a little on their tiny nails.
"Soubi!" he shouted in frustration with the fact that the man wasn't answering even though he was the one who invited him in the first place.
Banging his fist on the door, he glared at the crack where wood met wood, baring him from his fighter and the warmth that could have been inside of that apartment. The numbers rattled a little more before the door finally gave way and Soubi appeared, a little surprised looking even though he had been waiting for Ritsuka for a while now.
"Ritsuka…"
"You invited me over for some reason…and I had to sneak out so that Mother didn't catch me out after my new curfew." Ritsuka said, wishing that he hadn't have said his name because that meant he spoke and the Sacrifice was already under the man's influence. He felt his blood run cold as if the winter air had frozen it itself and his heart struggled to pump the frozen life force. His ears drooped; tail twitching side to side beneath his coat. "W-What do you want?"
Soubi smiled, pulling the door wide open and stepping outside, placing a guiding hand against the small of Ritsuka's back, he led him inside, closing the door behind them without a noticeable sound. Which wasn't a surprise…Ritsuka couldn't focus on other sounds outside of Soubi's voice whenever he spoke and everything else was a dull, muffled murmur…as if someone was talking to him through water.
"I wanted to see you…it's been a few days since I last saw you, Ritsuka." He said, trying to appear innocent obviously.
Ritsuka snapped out of his trance as best he could, moving away from the hand and looking around the practically barren apartment to occupy his eyes.
"Since my report." He said stiffly.
Soubi nodded a little, noticing how Ritsuka's head bowed as he said it. It was obvious that he was thinking about other things then Soubi's simple sitting on the floor while he worked on his report. It wasn't an easy thing to forget…even for Soubi, who wanted to forget anything that lie within his past. In fact…it was probably the first time he ever wanted to relive the past…
"Ritsuka."
As Ritsuka lifted his head again, Soubi was upon him, his arms around the teenager, holding him close against him.
"S-Soubi!" the Sacrifice panicked, gripping the man's sweater and trying to push him away and yet his hands didn't want to give the effort of pushing the man away. They wanted to pull him in…pull him closer then ever…but he couldn't do that, not now, not when he was already risking angering his mother for sneaking out...
"Stop it!"
"No."
Ritsuka gasped as Soubi's arms wrapped tighter around him, the Sentouki's hands gripping his coat while he was squeezed against his body, pressed so firmly against him that the teenager could hardly move. His overpowering scent of cigarettes filling Ritsuka's lungs and his surprising contrast of warmth compared to the outside weather's chill made shivers run through Ritsuka's body.
"S-Soubi...l-let me go."
"I don't want to." Soubi whispered, releasing his coat, a hand running down his back. "I don't want to let you go…"
"T-That's an order!" Ritsuka cried out.
The embrace immediately stiffened as Soubi's breath caught in his lungs. Ritsuka had given an order…but even though his body was beginning to obey…his mind was screaming for it not to.
Ritsuka himself didn't want Soubi to let go…it was his fear…his fear of the pain that would come with his return to his home and his mother discovering his earless appearance. If he returned without his ears, or if he returned and she discovered him as he snuck back in…he would endure worse punishment then he had endured before.
Slowly, the arms slackened and released the teenager. Soubi moved away from Ritsuka, retreating to his back porch doorway and peering out at the night sky. The prominent stars overhead seemed to arch in a mocking smile at the Sentouki…it was laughing at him…because of his desires.
"Soubi…"
"I'm sorry…Ritsuka." Soubi said with a sigh, "It's becoming increasingly difficult."
"What is?" the Sacrifice risked a step forward.
"I can't tell you…and that is why it is becoming such a difficulty for me to endure." He said, looking back at Ritsuka over his shoulder.
"Why can't you tell me? What are you hiding now?" Ritsuka demanded; his brow furrowing.
"I'm sorry Ritsuka." He apologized again, "But I can't tell you. Even if you order me to…"
Ritsuka grit his teeth, balling his hands into fists. "Is it something…you can't tell me…because our names are different? Is it because I'm not Seimei?"
Soubi turned to the teenager.
"Will you disappear, Soubi?" the high school astudent inquired suddenly, "If I don't do something, will you leave me?"
Soubi's eyes widened. He didn't know why Ritsuka considered that being a possibility, he had promised to be with him…did the boy still have doubts?
"That's it isn't it?" Ritsuka asked, his angered tone suddenly disapating and he smiled wryly, his eyes hidden by his bangs as his ears hung and his hands were limp at his sides. "You're going to be taken away…and I'll be alone again…"
"Ritsuka—"
The Sacrifice approached him slowly, all the while Soubi wasn't able to see his eyes, his lengthening bangs obscuring them with his head bowed as it was. Though Ritsuka's ears had erected again, the teen's mood didn't seem to improve. He reached up, grabbing the collar of Soubi's shirt and pulling him towards him, pressing his lips against his.
They're not taking you from me…you said that you were mine…
Soubi had been caught offguard by Ritsuka's sudden kiss, he stared at the open eyes looking right back at him…they were glassy but focused harshly on him. He could see that Ritsuka's emotions were once again conflicting within him and he didn't want his words to entwine him into another spell of acronyms or caress him with seductive tones…this was the master's will and the master would act first.
Bind me to you forever, Ritsuka…Soubi thought, touching the teen's face gently with his fingertips before cupping it in his hands. His skin was still icy from the cold night air on spite of the ages it seemed to have been since he entered his apartment. Tell me what you feel…let the words chain us together for all eternity…
Pulling away from Soubi's warm lips, Ritsuka stepped back a few steps, away from his hands and his body. He swallowed, his cheeks reddening as he realized what he had done, the ears drooping once again.
He sank onto the edge of Soubi's bed, hanging his head as he unfastened his coat to let his sudden overpowering warmth be relieved.
"I…don't want you to leave…Soubi…" he said, so quietly that Soubi almost missed the words as he stared down at his seated form. He approached him slowly until he was standing just in front of him.
"Why?" he asked quietly, reaching out a hand to his Sacrifice.
Ritsuka unwittingly rest his hand in Soubi's.
"Because...I've been with you for so long that it is hard to picture life without you near…ever since I was little and we first met…I've been so close to you…and now I…I…"
Soubi leaned down, touching a finger to the teen's lips. "If you do not love me…command me…and I will never touch you this way again." He said, the rest of his fingers resting over Ristuka's mouth before smoothing to beneath his chin, tilting his face up, "I will never kiss you again…never embrace you…"
As he said this he bent down closer and lightly pecked his forehead and then his cheek, grazing his lips over his flesh as he moved to his jaw and then leaning away.
"I will not do what makes you uncomfortable…"
He knelt down before him and rest his hands on his knees, Ritsuka stiffening as he sat up straight to see what it was the Sentouki was doing. Soubi gently eased the legs apart, moving in between the knees so that he was so close to Ritsuka now that not even an inch could cleanly separate them.
"And I will never…ever…" he ran his hands up his thighs and beneath the folds of his coat, submerging under his shirt and grazing over the warm flesh of his stomach, making Ritsuka flinch. "…seduce you again."
Ritsuka closed his eyes as the fingers tickled over his stomach and ran up over his chest then smoothing around his sides and long fingers tensed against his back. He tilted back his head, eyes closed so tightly he could see white spots.
"Just tell me…what to do." Soubi said, nuzzling his neck.
"I…don't…" he struggled to even breathe, let alone speak. His words came in trembling murmurs. "I…D-don't want you to…I don't want you to stop…"
Soubi leaned away again, catching his eyes. He knew that there was more to that sentence.
"…but you have to."
There it was.
"S-Soubi…I can't." Ritsuka said, scooting further onto his Fighter's bed and then crawling off the other end, standing up and smoothing his shirt out, trying to forget the feeling of Soubi's hands beneath it. "I…I have to go."
With that, he hurried towards the door, wrenching it open and about to step out when a hand grabbed his wrist and the bewitching words of Soubi's mindless incantaions shot through him like a bullet.
"I love you, Ritsuka."
((Well what do you think? This story is hard to continue so you'll get your mature stuff soon, no worries. Please review or there will be no fuel to power the creative mind. If there is no creative mind, then there's NO STORY.))
