Ether for Sale
Or,
Those Who Hunt Moogles

Chapter Five
Third Delivery: Youth League Headquarters!

"...And that's why the the next time we go to the Highroad, it will be filled with Fiends again, even though we killed them all," Jymbo said. He was riding quite happily in Teityr's backpack, alongside Mog. As Jymbo was only slightly larger then the Moogle,(two Mogs high, in fact) it didn't take much effort to carry the old man. Not that there was much choice...Jymbo had fallen off a bridge, and needed time to recuperate.

"...But you didn't explain anything!" Teityr protested. "You just said 'and that's why'!"

"Please! Take a pamphlet!" A man rushed up, shoving a bunch of papers into Teityr's hands. Jymbo was riding in Teityr's backpack, his legs not up to walking yet, and Mog was riding atop Jymbo's head, disguising himself as a hat.

"Save the Chocobos," Teityr read aloud. He opened the paper, examing the front and back. "Um ... All the pages are blank."

"It symbolizes The Mi'hien Highroad without Chocobos!" the man's female assistant announced fanatically. Teityr studied her face, and the face of her associate, and then the paper again.

"Then wouldn't it make sense to have the first few pages blank, and the last page say Save the Chocobos?" Teityr asked.

"What are you, some kind of choco-hater?!" she yelled, stalking away. The man scowled and followed after the girl, leaving Teityr holding the pamphlet.

"Teityr, give that here." Teityr passed it backwards, and heard something flick loudly. The flaming paper dropped next to him, and instantly set the grass around them ablaze.

"Grampa! What're you doing?!" Teityr yelled, stomping on the fire.

"Teaching you a lesson. Your a salesman, not an activist. You have no use for causes!"

Teityr thought back to the beginning of his journey, and how his grandfather's interference had chased away Iya. Granted, he'd wanted no part in the coming fight between New Yevon and the Youth League, but for Iya ... For Iya, he would do a lot of things he didn't want to do.

"Head out of the clouds boy! Its a long walk to Djose!"

"Especially with a gnome on your back, kupopo."

Teityr shook his head as the Mog and his grandfather started fighting again, and started walking.


ATE: Active Time Event!!!
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No one in Luca's bar looked at Shaker as he dropped an expensive looking Sphere on the table, and began ordering expensive drinks. Tourists were for the most part ignored by the citizens of Luca. Any one of them could've told you the Shakes family was a bunch of tourists, because no one actually lives in Luca, except the people who remained in the bar, because the door was mysteriously locked.

Quite often, the denizens of Luca's only drinking establishment decided to stay for another drink, because they were unable to get out, and the barkeeper was a Hypello who mysteriously was unable to answer any questions about the door. When pressured, he waved his hands frantically, and ran about in circles, so eventually everyone stopped asking. Being professional bar drunks, they decided it wasn't worth their time, as they could watch Blitz on the Sphere Screen, they had Pan-Galactic Gargle Blasters readily available, and peanuts were conveniently placed on the counter in case anyone got hungry. And if someone began to wonder how long they had been there, well, another drink silenced pesky thoughts like that.

As for how the Shakes brothers managed to get inside with the only entrance locked...who could say? After all, everyone who noticed was far too drunk to care.

"You failed ..." Mep's holographic projection scowled, but all it succeeded in doing was making him look as though he'd eaten a bad prune. "I'm disappointed. Perhaps I should have invested in other bounty hunters..."

"Yeah, maybe you should have," Shaker said.

"WHAT?"

"Well, for one, kidnapping and murder isn't something we do on a regular occasion." Shaker gestured at his brothers, who were both snoozing at the bar, comically leaning on each other for support. "As you can see, we're hardly prepared for it."

"But," Shaker continued, "if we had a little assistance..."

"...What kind of assistance? Are you making a play for more money?"

"No. I'm making a play for some Machina." Shaker grinned evilly. "The type of Machina only New Yevon has." Mep's holographic head tilted to the side, eyeing Shaker with suspicion.

"I do have contacts that may be able to provide you with some experimental Machina...but it will put you on the sour side of the Machina Faction. Can you handle that?"

"Those swirly-eyed arrogant pricks?" Shaker raised his fist and grinned evilly. "I owe that spikey-haired punk a bloody nose... What do we have to do?"

"Just leave it in the capable hands of the Syndicate..."


"What's going on here?" Jymbo asked, grabbing Teityr's head and twisting. Teityr yelped, and turned with his grandfather's twist, trying to keep his head from popping off. With Teityr successfully maneuvered, Jymbo could examine the scene in front of them more easily.

"So what is it?' Teityr asked grumpily.

"The Youth League. There's a ton of guards on the road." Jymbo unstrapped himself, and dropped to the ground, and began running up the road. Teityr turned, astonished.

"You...you could walk the whole time!"

"I have Auto-Potion. I was just tired of walking. Hurry up, we've got a sale to make!"

Teityr sighed, reaching backwards. Mog's hand popped up, handing him a clipboard. He trotted after his grandfather, examining the papers. "We don't have a contract with the Youth League, gramps!"

Jymbo halted several yards away from the guards, who were now watching them suspiciously. Jymbo signaled Teityr over, and whispered fiercely. "This is the next part of your training my boy! A salesman always has to make new customers!"

"Gentlemen!" Jymbo stepped forward, grinning broadly. Several guards put their hands on their weapons. "And gentle ladies," he added, bowing smoothly. Teityr shook his head, and stepped behind his grandpa. The short old man stood again with a grand flourish, and gestured to Teityr. "My grandson and I are on a pilgrimage." He smiled when the soldiers readjusted themselves upon hearing the familiar word. Teityr nearly slapped the old man for the blasphemy he was about to speak.

"That's right, a pilgrimage to save Spira...From jacked-up Ether prices!" Jymbo clapped his hands loudly, and a bottle of Ether popped out of Teityr's backpack, landing neatly in Jymbo's hands. "How many times have you run out of MP while fighting a series of Machina at Bevelle's front gate? How many times has a Black Mage friend of yours been short an Ether while surrounded by Fiends?"

As the soldier's hands began to move towards their weapons again, Teityr nudged his grandfather roughly. "How often," Jymbo asked slowly, "have you been preparing for a strike against New Yevon, and been short on supplies? Machina can only take you so far, my friends."

The leader raised his hand, and the soldier's let down their guard. "All right sir, I'll bite." He held out his hand. "My name is Maroda."

"Jymbo Gak. This is my grandson Teityr."

Teityr saluted as his name was spoken, smiling weakly.

Maroda nodded at him before turning his attention back to Jymbo. "I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't at least send you along to the base." He stepped back, and pointed to the opening in the rockway. "Clasko? Ahem...ah, Clasko...Please, show this fine gentlemen to the base."

A wimpy looking recruit with a bowlcut approached quickly, beckoning them to follow.

Jymbo smiled and gave Teityr a thumbs up, and Teityr just sighed before following them in.

"The base is through the canyon. Please, beware of Fiends."

"Ha!" Jymbo said too loudly, obviously playing for attention. "Those Fiends had better beware of US! With Gak Ether products, we are like spellcasting machinas...of DOOM!"

Teityr rolled his eyes, and proceeded into the canyon.


"Spellcasting machina of doom, huh?" Teityr asked between gasps. He laid down next to the elevator, groaning.

"A good salesman knows how to embellish the truth...I have a high Faith count, I COULD be a spellcasting Machina of doom..." Jymbo was standing, bent over with his hands on his knees, breathing hard. "Course, if I get too much Faith, I'll have to leave the party..." he added.

"You know, nothing you ever say makes any sense."

"...Who are you people?" A young woman said, stepping off the elevator. Her red armor gleamed brightly in the small amount of sunlight the canyon walls allowed in.

"Jymbo Gak, Ether Salesman!" Jymbo shouted, jumping to his feet and posing dramatically. "I've come to offer you fine Youth League-ers a once in a lifetime opportunity!" He clapped his hands, and another bottle of Ether popped out of the bag Teityr was carrying. It flew straight at the girl, and she yelped, ducking. It struck a passing Red Elemental, which suddenly flared with power and burned brighter.

"Um..." Jymbo said, backing away. "My grandson Teityr will take care of this!" He clapped Teityr on the back, pulling off the pack in one smooth motion. "Go get 'im! Make the Gak's proud!"

Teityr glared at his grandfather coldly, before stepping forward. "Uh..." He glanced around, looking for a weapon. "Watch, as I handily defeat the Fiend with..." He picked up a rock off the ground. It was only about the size of his fist. "This...uh...this rock."

The Red Elemental cast a Firaga spell -"Thanks grandpa," Teityr muttered under his breath- incinerating the rock, and setting Teityr on fire. Teityr yelped, and ran around in circles, screaming insanely.

"Stop drop and roll!" the woman shouted, but Teityr ran past her, running onto the elevator. He fell to the ground, unmoving, as it shook and started to rise.

The female officer and Jymbo watched it raise, and watched the Red Elemental turn its attention on them.

"Ah..." Jymbo glanced up at the girl hopefully.

"Hey, I've got a Red Ring on," she said, displaying her hand. "But I'm pretty sure you're gonna die."

"Well, uh...Just...uh...Wait for it..." Jymbo said, as the Red Elemental flared up again furiously.

Something shuddered up above, and the elevator dropped quickly, crushing the Fiend beneath it. Teityr staggered off, woozy and clothes charred, but otherwise looking only slightly worse for the wear.

"Wow," the officer said, impressed. "How did you manage it?"

Teityr smiled weakly. "My flailing burnt the cable. But I had some Ether on me, and was able to cast a Cure spell on myself."

He collapsed in a heap, and Jymbo leapt forward, posing grandly. "See?! Gak Family Ether can make White spells cure even those who seem irretrievably injured!"

The officer pursed her lips, and then shrugged. "Whatever. Go ahead. Uh...if the elevator still works."

Jymbo bowed, thanking her heartily, before leaning closer, whispering conspiratorially, "My dear, if I may ask your name?"

"Elma," she said suspiciously.

"Ah, Elma," he sighed dramatically. "A beautiful name, for such a beautiful lady..."

"If grandma finds out you said that," Teityr said groggily, sitting up.

"She'd only find out if someone told her," Jymbo cut him off, winking suggestively at Elma. She hauled back and punched him in the eye, sending him flying up towards the base.

Teityr followed him with his eyes, and as his grandfather flew overhead, he ended up falling over backwards. "Nice shot," he said, as the world spun around him, making him woozy.

"Men," Elma said, rolling her eyes.


"The Meyvn is currently at a meeting, planning an important operation." Lucil spread her hands helplessly. "No one else has the authority to bargain on our behalf."

"Why not?" Teityr asked.

"Well," she said, looking down at Jymbo, "we have established ties with various merchants already, and most of them are donating freely to our cause."

"None of them have Ether, my dear," Jymbo said smugly. He tapped the side of his nose, and winked. "We are the only two Ether salesmen on Spira."

She nodded slowly. "It is quite rare indeed. Our troops have had a difficult time of stealing Ether from fiends..."

Jymbo frowned suddenly, and was about to open his mouth, when the doors creaked open behind Lucil. The light tap of a cane on the ground was followed by a tall man walking slowly out.

"Meyvn!" Lucil exclaimed. "Is the meeting finished?"

"No, not quite yet." He smiled, and nodded at the Gak's in greeting. "We're taking a break."

"Let cooler heads prevail, that sort of thing," Jymbo remarked, voice suddenly different from usual.

Meyvn Nooj chuckled, voice deep and amused. "You have struck straight at the heart of the matter, Maester Gak."

Lucil's and Teityr's eyes widened suddenly, and they both gawked at Jymbo, who merely looked upon Nooj with an even darker scowl.

"Teityr," Jymbo said softly, "if you'll notice, an old family friend of mine is sitting off to the side over there. Go say hello to him, will you?"

"I didn't mean to insult," Nooj said, but Jymbo cut him off.

"I knew what you meant."

Teityr backed away quickly, certain that this conversation was going somewhere he did not want to go. He hurried quickly out of the way, watching his grandfather speak with the Meyvn, but unable to hear what was said. "What did that guy mean, 'Maester'?"

There was a light tug at his trouser's leg, and he glanced down, seeing a very old man in green robes sitting cross-legged on the ground. The old man smiled broadly, and adjusted his spectacles.

"Jymbo Gak has a long and varied history," the old man explained. "I have been lucky enough to make his acquaintance several times over the years. Perhaps you'd like to hear the tale?"

Teityr glanced back at his grandfather, who was waving extravagantly, and obviously speaking very fast. But by Nooj's expression, he understood whatever it was Jymbo was talking about.

"Yeah, I think I'd better."

"Long ago, before the fall of Sin, three friends from Kilika joined the ministry of Yevon. Two young men, and a young lady. Now, this young woman was a person of extraordinary beauty...."

Maechen stopped his story, peering carefully at Teityr. The boy had fallen asleep almost instantly, still standing. The storyteller poked him, but to no avail. Teityr was out cold.

Jymbo walked over, looking grim. Maechen nodded his greeting. "Hello, Lord Gak."

"None of that business anymore, Maechen." Jymbo shifted uncomfortably. "Not in front of the boy."

"But as you can see, he is quite asleep."

Jymbo glanced up at his grandson, then smirked. "Tried to tell him a story, eh?"

Maechen spread his hands. "I forgot how he was. Always falling asleep before a tale has barely begun. How are you Jymbo?"

Jymbo glanced back at Nooj, who gave some orders to Lucil before heading back inside. "I'm not sure..."

"Still selling Ether, I assume?" Maechen inquired. "Might I purchase a bottle?"

Jymbo smiled, and clapped his old friend on the back. "I'll give you a complimentary bottle. Mog, give over." An Ether flipped out of the pack, and landed neatly in Jymbo's outstretched palm. He gave it to Maechen, who bowed gratefully.

"Not like a Gak to give away free product, kupo," the backpack said.

"What do you know?!" Jymbo snapped.

Teityr woke up, blinking in surprise, before sweatdropping. "Uh...Sorry. How long was I out?"

"Its quite all right, my boy. Perhaps some other time," Maechen said, at the same time Jymbo announced, "Let's get going boy, plenty more deliveries."

Teityr bowed respectfully, before running off after his grandpa. "That old guy seemed familiar..."

"Old family friend."

"Oh...now I feel really bad..." Teityr glanced back apologetically.

"Where's the next stop?" Jymbo asked.

"Uh...The road leads to Djose. Except I think Machine Faction is in there now."

"Machine....Faction?!" Jymbo raised a clenched fist furiously. "That means...GIPPAL!!!"

Teityr covered his ears, desperately trying to shield himself from his grandpa's howl. It set a series of events in motion. The shout startled a small bird, who fled quickly, knocking over some stones in its attempt to escape. The stones fell into the canyon, hitting several others, and causing an entire landslide fall into the chasm. Somewhere behind them, a Youth League guard mistook these events for an attack by New Yevon, and sounded the general alarm.

Teityr grabbed Jymbo, and sprinted for the elevator.