Chapter 9-Willpower
(A/N: If the name stinks tell me and I'll change to something better. Maybe.)
Inuyasha had waked away from the village for sometime seeing the people he passed cowering or shielding their children from him. Of course that was understandable as he did just take a big chunk out of the village and the people residing in it so it would be natural for him to be feared and hated like any other demon. Right? 'If only I could tell them just how sorry I really am,' thought Inuyasha as he made his way to the river bed he remembered was where Kagome had first shattered the jewel shard with her arrow to make sure that bird demon didn't get a hold of it.
When he got deeper down the river bank he stopped, sat down and just stared at the water that showed his reflection. It showed a silvery white haired dried blood covered face that was Inuyasha's demonic beast of a form. "How? How can anyone...why would anyone truly wish to love me? Love...this...thing! WHY COULDN'T I HAVE HAD A HAPPY LIFE!" said Inuyasha as she shouted the last part smashing his right hand turned fist into the water creating an echo of waves to go through both ends of the river before removing his hand from the water and soaking his face in the droplets removing the blood from his fur.
Just as he had calmed down and sat down again hoped arrived in the form of a three eyed demon bird and the flea demon that had used it to arrive before Inuyasha. "Hello milord it is good to see that you are in better health then I was led to believe," said the flea demon who saw Inuyasha's eyes narrow dangerously as if to say "I dare you drink my blood".
"Go away Myoga. I am in no mood for you and your words of wisdom. Also just in case you were wondering you may not have any of my blood to drink," said Inuyasha as he saw Myoga slump at his words and even more so when Inuyasha said the next part of that sentence as the flea loved to drink his master's blood.
"Please Lord Inuyasha let me stay! I promise I won't drink any of your blood during the entire time I am here. On my word as a flea," said Myoga now standing proud as if being a flea demon was an honor of sorts.
"What honor? (Myoga falls down anime style) I'll let you stay Myoga, but know this! The instant I feel you drinking my blood you are no longer welcome in my presence ever again and if you do show your face I will see to it that you are fed to a swarm of hungry insects that pray on flea meat," said Inuyasha making the flea gulp and nod all in one as he knew what insects Inuyasha spoke of.
"Back to the matter at hand lord Inuyasha why are you even in this form? I thought only full blooded demons could be like this and as I last saw you were clearly not one," said Myoga who started to sweat at that statement as Inuyasha growled and narrowed his eyes in a VERY deadly manner that told Myoga he was treading dangerous water.
"It's a long story Myoga, but I'll tell you, but if you make a crack a me being a half-demon you will find yourself in the river drowning as you beg for your life! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME!" said Inuyasha who felt if the flea didn't learn his place he would find himself killed by his own stupidity.
"Y-yes Lord Inuyasha I understand perfectly," said Myoga as he made a mental note not to make Inuyasha angry at all in the future as he heard Inuyasha's story.
(Kaede's Village-An hour later)
Kaede and Shiori worked quickly yet thoroughly to save Kanna's life as they bandaged as well as healed her wounds with herbs the best they could. It was quite difficult as Kanna seemed to be on the edge of death itself and she was teetering back and forth between the living and the dead. Shiori didn't have any experience when it came to healing people, but that would not and did not stop her from trying to assist Kaede as she had recognized some of the plants and herbs used to heal Kanna's wounds making it easier on the old priestess to give instruction to Shiori on which plants to give to her. "Will...will she live priestess Kaede?" said Shiori as she hoped that Kanna did as she could use another friend to play and have fun with.
"It is difficult to say child as Kanna's wounds are extensive and dare ye speak of it...near lethal for someone so small her size," said Kaede as she finished the last of the bandaging on Kanna's body that now looked like a mummy from an ancient tomb.
The only part of Kanna that was not wrapped up was her one eye, most of her mouth, and half of her two small hands. When the two had finished Shiori decided to give Kanna her broken mirror back though it was still missing a few pieces. "I'll be right back Kanna I'm going to find those broken pieces so we can put them back on your mirror when you're better," aid Shiori as she bowed her head to both Kanna and Kaede before heading out the door to find the broken pieces of glass that belonged to Kanna's mirror.
Kaede smiled at the girl's optimistic happiness that life offered before turning back to her ward that now her undivided attention that was Kanna causing her smile to fade. "Tell me child why did you betray Naraku. You made that abundantly clear to me when you said that you said you were his 'former servant'. Is this true?" said Kaede sitting down next to the little girl who almost seemed lost in her own little world all the while holing her little mirror as if it were her only thing to life itself.
"Y-yes. I am...no longer a...a servant of...of Naraku," said Kanna as she found speaking like many things in her condition hard to do.
Kaede nodded at Kanna's words seeing that there was no lying in the girl before she gave her some water for her to drink. "Ye will be back shortly. Your physical wounds will heal in time Kanna, but you won't be up for sometime. Do not move or you will aggravate all of them making your condition worse. As for Inuyasha he wants you to know that if you still wish to serve him...you can if you desire to," said Kaede before leaving the house leaving Kanna in the room who after hearing Kaede's last few words did the one thing she knew she could do that would make her feel slightly better...she smiled.
"There you are!" said Shiori had found the last few pieces of glass that belong to Kanna's mirror and put them in the little blanket she had taken lying around as to not cut herself on the possibly sharp edges.
It was then as she looked up that Shiori saw some of the children pick up rocks and sticks come towards her with evil intentions on their faces. "Hey! You there! You lousy good for nothing and miserable little half-demon look what you gave us when you came here to our village. That big one caused all this and you didn't do anything to stop it," said the boy who was obviously the leader of the group since the other children fully agreed with him.
"That's not true! Daddy didn't mean to...," Shiori as she covered her mouth as she later then sooner realized that she had said too much as the look in the children's eyes just got meaner.
"Daddy huh? Well since 'daddy' isn't here I say we take our frustration and loss out on YOU!" said the boy who had in his right hand a pretty sizable stick that with just enough force could do some pretty nasty damage to Shiori if aimed correctly.
The boy had quite a good idea where to aim his weapon at and it just so happened to be the half-demon girls head. The attack however, when unleashed on the poor half-demon bat girl never came as a cat like clawed hand grabbed the stick away from the little boy and hissed at him so loud it made the boy quiver in terror before running away making the other kids do the same. "Stupid kids and their arrogance. (turns to Shiori) You must be Shiori?" said the female voice sounding angry to sweet the moment the female figure turned to face the half-demon child.
"Y-yes. How did do...do you know my name?" said Shiori taking a step back before she was able to turned her head slightly to see the others that she knew so well.
"Hey Shiori long time no see. You remember Kilala don't you?" said Sango pointing to the bipedal half-demon looking fire cat that was in-between Shiori and the demon slayer.
"Sango! Then that must mean...," said Shiori as she saw the others give a cheerful wave at seeing them and then she saw the others that she didn't recognize.
"Yep! We are all here and with few extra's that joined up with us along the way," said a happy Shippo who was glad that Shiori remembered them all.
"Please I do not have time for this where is my brother? Where is Inuyasha?" said the tallest of the group that when Shiori looked at noticed a certain resemblance to Inuyasha and the realization of what the man had just said hit her hard in the head.
"Well you're just 'Mr. Straight to the Point' Sesshomorru," said Kilala as she frowning at the demon lord who merely frowned slightly at her insulting words as he would not take such things from someone who would love a half-demon like his brother lightly.
Before Sesshomorru could retaliate at all though Shiori spoke nervously to the group as she didn't want to see anymore confrontations today. "I...I don't know. Dad...daddy went off some place to...to be alone because...because of what...happened earlier. Daddy was as well as looked...very upset with...himself when he...walked away," said Shiori as she was almost in tears sniffing them back as she remembered the look on Inuyasha face as she could see the drying blood that was their from his self inflicting wounds that he gave when remembering something truly awful from his past.
'Daddy!' thought everyone as they were surprised as to what Shiori had just said and that she called Inuyasha her 'daddy' of all things.
"Shiori sweetie what happened that involved Inuyasha and you that would create all of this to happen?" said Kilala in sweet cat like voice that almost sounded to the others like that of a loving mother as Shiori told them everything that happened since the lake.
(Back with Inuyasha)
"I see. Well Master Inuyasha I can understand your predicament now, but as to how to fix it I most certainly do not," said Myoga as he had just been told everything leading up to this moment in time with Inuyasha back at the last village they were at leading up to his brief encounter with Kanna and now with the problem of changing back to his original form.
"Surely there must be some way to change back! How did my ancestors do it? Surely they couldn't have know how when they ruled back so long ago?" said Inuyasha as he found Myoga's for once lack of knowledge... most taxing on his patience mentally.
"Hmm...maybe there is my Lord. There is a legend among the more prestige families like your own Inuyasha that knew the secret involving the transformation. The key I believe they said lies within your own mind and the will of the said demon rather then desire to become the human looking form you want. You must look deep inside yourself master Inuyasha and take back what you feel you have lost within you. Only by dong that will you have earned the right to transform back and forth between them as you see fit," said Myoga trying to help his lord anyway he could given the circumstances.
"I will give it a shot Myoga thank you for your advice. Now leave me to my attempt at having my human looking form again," said Inuyasha who saw the flea bow and once more jump on the crow demons body before the bird flew off.
As the bird flew to its unknown destination Inuyasha looked around to see if anyone was still around before he closed his eyes and focused his mind. He didn't want to be attacked during this attempt as he went deep into it to search for the answers he was seeking. 'I have to focus my will to achieve my human looking form. It is the only way. The only way I can be looked at and the only way I can be loved,' thought Inuyasha as he went deeper not knowing what he would find there only that he wished it be what he thought it would be.
(Back at the village-Some 45minutes later)
Shiori had told the group everything from her the village being attacked, to her mother's death, then to Inuyasha finding her, raising her, becoming her new father, then everything that happened between Kaede, and then what happened recently with the confrontation with Inuyasha and Kanna and little girls condition. "So Kanna left Naraku in hopes of serving Inuyasha and since she is not tied down to Naraku like Kagura apparently is she is most likely a target now by Naraku," said Miroku who sat on a small boulder to rest his tired legs.
"I say we kill her. It could be a trap for all we know and she is still working for Naraku trying to get close to Inuyasha. Besides she could turn at anytime she wants. She may have to have a rosary on her neck," said Kagome receiving glares when "rosary" was said as it was something Inuyasha would have hated to have heard.
"I hate to say this, but Kagome may be right. We have no way of knowing that Kanna is still working for Naraku. She may have to have a...well one of THOSE around her neck," said Sango before noticing the horror filled look on Shiori's face.
"NO! Daddy wouldn't want you to and neither do I. You didn't see Kanna after the battle she was on the verge of dying. Daddy could have killed her easily, but he didn't in that time Kanna said she was sorry for everything. Daddy saw something that made him not want to kill Kanna. Don't you dare do that Kanna or I'll tell him what you said," said an angry and on the verge of tears Shiori as she ran into the healing hut after she picked up the broken pieces of glass that belong to Kanna that were wrapped in cloth to give Kanna her mirror pieces.
"I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to have 'daddy' upset at us right now and I wouldn't want that. If we do decide to do this to Kanna much less try to kill her Inuyasha may be less then pleased by our actions and decide to become hostile," said Miroku who knew fully well that awesome power they had felt earlier was from Inuyasha and it was something that had made all of them fear for their lives when arriving here.
"Maybe we should just see Kanna and see how she is doing? From Shiori's description of her she can't really do anything except breath and even that is hard for her to do," said a curious Shippo wanting to see just how badly Naraku's incarnation was hurt.
"Yes. I to wish to see Kanna and to see what Inuyasha sees in her that he would spare her life in a rage filled state," said Kikyo as she and the others head to see Kanna.
Well almost everyone. "You guys go on ahead I'm going to try and find Kaede and speak with her about some things," said Kagome as she walked off to a different path to find the old one eyed priestess.
"You mean you are going to ask Kaede to create two rosaries for you to use for your own purposes. With one of the rosaries being used for Inuyasha and the other one s to be used for Kanna," said Sango under her breath, but she knew that Sesshomorru, Kilala, and of course Shippo heard her while Kikyo was probably thinking what she was about Kagome and her intentions toward the two.
When the group entered the room they realized that Shiori's description of Kanna's now injured body of an appearance did not do the poor girl justice. Even worse was when the half-demon girl Shiori saw them enter she attempted to use herself as a shield for the poor Kanna in case they had planned to put a rosary on or even kill her. "I said for you to leave Kanna alone you big meanies! If you don't you'll have to go through me to do so," said Shiori with defiant eyes that dared any and all comers to get past her while Kanna's one eye was open with sheer horror at the fact that her former enemies were here to end her life in her condition.
"It seems Inuyasha's attitude has rubbed off on you Shiori. We are not here to kill Kanna or anything else like what you would imagine. We just wanted to see her and possibly help her recover," said Kilala shocking both Shiori and Kanna who never thought they would hear those words from the group.
"I...I don't believe you. You're lying," said Shiori still defiant, but unsure of herself with her hands now wavering as the cat demon on two legs did seem sincere with her words.
"We trust Inuyasha with the decision he made in sparing Kanna's life because if he didn't believe her then she would be currently alive regardless of the condition she is in," said Kikyo smiling a warm smile at Shiori causing her arms to lower slightly.
"You mean it. You won't kill Kanna or put a rosary around her neck like what happened with Inuyasha?" said Shiori making the others in front of her flinching at the two words "rosary" and "Inuyasha" in the same sentence stream.
"No Shiori won't do either of the two mentioned. If Inuyasha trusts Kanna then so will the rest of us as we trust Inuyasha's judgment in this matter," said Sango patting the little girls head who finally put her arms down and let the group walk closer to Kanna to look and further inspect her condition.
Realizing this was an awkward place to be for someone of her age and wishing to be with Inuyasha where ever he may be at the moment Rin snuck out of the room undetected by everyone. This included Sesshomorru, which further proved to her that the Demon Lord of the Western Lands didn't really care about her in anyway or he would have detected her movement outright and if he did, but didn't try to stop her meant he didn't care about her plain and simple. 'Rin has to find Inuyasha. If Shiori can be her daddy then he can be mine! Rin just have to ask him first. Rin wonder's where he is?' thought Rin, but no later then her fourth step she was knocked to her right by a huge force of wind and voice to her left sending her as she screamed hard against a nearby tree knocking her out.
The group had heard Rin's scream and came running out to see a knocked out Rin to their right and a proud smirking Kagura the Wind Sorceress to their left. "Why hello everyone I bet you're all surprised to see me again so soon right?" said Kagura evilly drawing her fan back for another attack
(Back to Inuyasha Now Inside His Mind)
Inuyasha had very acute hearing for one with ears as big as his and being a dog demon was just an added bonus to the one of several senses. Had he not been so deep into his own inner mind to find himself he would have heard Rin's recognizable scream and come running. As it stood he was walking in a form he couldn't see or even feel for that matter through his mind trying to find the secret of his transformation back to his old form. "I'm beginning to think that Myoga was pulling my leg. Damn that flea when I see him again I'm going to tear him a new pointy nose," said Inuyasha only to stop walking when he saw something or rather someone in front of him he never thought he would see again.
"Hello son. You've grown," said the tall silver haired man wearing something similar to Sesshomorru except it had more armor around the legs and arms then his brother while his face was somewhere between Inuyasha's and Sesshomorru's.
"D...dad!" said Inuyasha who couldn't believe who he was seeing in front of him was none other then his own father.
(A/N: BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMMM! Who were you expecting to show up in his head Freddy Crougar? Keep on reading you monkeys!)
"What? Can't a father of his half-demon son pop by for a visit?" said Inuyasha's father before giving him a hug.
"No its not that it's just...I'm here to find away back to what I once was," said Inuyasha all the while barely believing his own father was speaking to him in his mind.
The late Demon Lord of the Western Lands looked at his youngest son and smiled before wrapping an arm over the boy's shoulder. "Look no further my boy for I am here for such a purpose," said the man as he walked with his son to further explain the details of such a transformation to his unbelieving son.
"Okay so spill it how did you transform back and fourth through such a process without losing control?" said Inuyasha getting impatient like his old self causing his father to start laughing as he like this about his son.
"The transformation is actually quite simple my boy though it was not always so as most demons at the time have no desire to even look remotely human as they believed it was entirely beneath them. However, the majority of demons that came later realized that they had to adapt to live so we found that the change could only be mastered and controlled if we had someone or the memory of someone we truly loved in our hearts. This helped us change back to which ever form we wanted when we needed it and was actually how humans fell in love with us later on," said Inuyasha's father laughing a little at the last part with amusement.
"It's not that easy dad as I have no one in my heart o such a level that can trigger such a thing," Inuyasha as he slouch his shoulders and sighed in his current unknown form he was walking in.
"You're joking right? Did that attack by that crazy wind bitch throw your head for a loop or is it your demon blood that's doing this to you. Damn it Inuyasha! You truly are one messed up son of mine. What about Shiori who loves you as if you were her own father reborn into this world. That demon slayer who cares for you more then you know. The undead priestess still has a candle lit in her heart for you that will never burn out as it is a flame of your love for her. The feline demon cat you call Kilala well if they love is blind then you are as well. AND if you still can't see that after now then you might as well be depth and dumb too for that matter. Not to mention Shippo who is the boy you would no doubt want for a son as well as girls like Rin and Kanna for daughters like Shiori. I mean you have one big freaking family right in front of you and you can't see any of it due to your own fears. You want go back to before to you old self right? Then you have to get rid of your fears and just focus on your family that you have created and put them deep in your heart and will the power they give off as a whole to change you back. If you can't do that...then your not the son I hoped you would become in my absence," said a very emotional ex-demon lord of a father.
"You're right father. I have been afraid of many things, but no more. Thank you...for the knowledge you have given me," said Inuyasha who didn't know what else to do.
"The knowledge was already there my son. I just showed you the path to walk down to learn it. All you had to do was take the next step forward," said Inuyasha father giving his son a mock salute of sorts (that Inuyasha felt he probably would have done) before fading away in a form of harmless red smoke.
"Now to do what dad said I should do...take the next step forward down the path in front of me," said Inuyasha as he focused his mind once more and called forth all those close to him to his heart filling him with something he had long forgotten in his current mental state.
(Outside Inuyasha's mind)
Inuyasha in his demonic state rose from the ground and let out a great roar as he mentally commanded his body to respond to his will to change back into his human state. His aura of demonic power went through the roof as he seemed to glow in it as the process started to change him 'YES! I CAN FEEL THE CHANGE IN ME AND ITS MAKING ME EVEN STRONGER THEN BEFORE,' thought Inuyasha as his beast like form started to shrink down as he readjusted his body to be on its hind legs so when it was complete he would be standing like he did in human form.
As he transformed into his human looking form like state Inuyasha couldn't help, but unleash one final demonic roar turned howl from deep within himself. He didn't know why he did it other then the fact that he felt needed to do it. To let both the heavens and the hells know he was alive, kicking, and soon be ready to kill all that were his enemies. Completely unaware that in the village those he knew and those he did not all around the land froze for a single moment as their hearts filled with terror as to what living creature could have caused such a great and powerful noise to be produced.
(Kaede's Village-Moments Earlier)
Kagura had taken the use of the element of surprise to her advantage immediately and had nearly beaten almost every single one of the jewel shard hunters. Kaede and the girl Kagome had appeared shortly after disposing of the others, but without her precious tool that was Inuyasha protecting her it was easy as 1, 2, and 3. The old priestess known as Kaede who was behind her had snuck into the hut to take Kanna while Kagome fought her. Not being as fast as she obviously used to be Kaede was knocked down in a quick one hit K.O attack after she had taken care of Kikyo's reincarnation. It was then Kagura heard the roar now turned howl coming don near the river area she had spotted form the air before she had landed some time ago making her pause mid-stride towards Kanna was in feeling the ever growing power of the transformed half-demon. 'No. Its not possible? He cannot possibly be getting stronger and yet...here is this power I feel coming from him telling me he is!' thought Kagura though she wasn't the only one to feel it either as the others while on the ground weakened or trying to stand felt Inuyasha's power grow making their eyes widen in shock.
Deciding to hurry before Inuyasha came back and saw what she had done Kagura went to were Kanna lay on the ground in bandages still holding her broken mirror. All the while Kanna looking back at her with fear on the once emotionless face of the girl finding it almost pathetic that this girl had freedom and now was unable to enjoy it all because she decided NOW to betray Naraku. "Don't take this too personal Kanna as by killing you I will win my freedom in an agreement from Naraku as he has no use for weaklings like you," said Kagura opening and closing her fan pondering how to kill the poor mirror girl in this condition as there was always the conventional slow painful way or the quick and painless though Kanna's current condition neither one really mattered.
"I...am not...weak. You are for...for agreeing to...to such a de...deal," said Kanna as she clutched her mirror tighter whether out of fear or determination she didn't know.
"Fool. When I'm done with you I'll be free and you will a rotting corpse of an incarnated body like all the other before you," said Kagura in an angry voice who figure that by this point the optional method of quick and painless was out of the question.
"Then kill...kill me to...to prove me...wrong Kagura. However, it...it will...be I... I who is truly...truly free between...between the...the two of...us," said Kanna though she found her voice could not let her speak any more as it was taxed out.
"As you wish," said Kagura as she raised her hand to deliver the lethal blow needed to kill a currently crippled Kanna and send her to the next world.
The attack however never came to pass as a powerful demon empowered red blur came out of nowhere slicing Kagura's hand clean off at the wrist while getting some of her face in the process. "This is all you can do Kagura? Blow wind? You are a joke if this is it," said the tall shirtless and muscled figure.
At the same time Kagura noticed the figure had what appeared to be white hair all over his upper body making it look like he was wearing some sort of armor. It fur went all the way down to the waist before she saw red fire rat pants that made Kagura realize just who this person was. "Y-you are In-Inuyasha!" said Kagura as she took several steps back too afraid to do anything else
"The one and only. Go back to your master and tell him...the next time we meet I will take the sacred jewel shard from his body and the head that goes with it," said Inuyasha smiling facing all of them showing his face was more chiseled and mature looking at them all with golden amber eyes that were surrounded by a circle of what could only be described as the purest color of blood red ever seen...and it scared the hell our of Kagura.
"Wha-what are you?" said Kagura who found herself feeling like she were staring at death itself hen she looked into his unholy eyes.
"I told you before at the Kagura...I am your DEATH!" said Inuyasha as he made a loud cracking of his clawed hand all the while smiling a psychotic smile that would have made even the devil proud of to wish to call his son.
(A/N: Sorry this took so long my job was getting in the way among other things and I felt I needed a little break from everything. Plus I got Hitman: Blood Money for PS2 (yes I m old enough to play it) and I have been playing yesterday which actually (somehow I'm not sure) gave me temporary writer's block so I couldn't complete this chapter till today. You like? Sorry it doesn't go any further, but I figured the next chapter would suffice for a much better take on everything. Also I need your help with some plot ideas as I am at a loss (yes it can happen to anyone...even me) so I could use a little bit of...(what's the word I am looking for...) oh yeah! I need writer's support from you. You know like suggestions, comments, opinions, etc. Stuff I get in your reviews. Signed, anonymous, PM's (personal messages) are welcome. See at the next one!)
