Chapter Three

Dear Diary, (Ha, ha, ha,)

Hey its me Wromtail oh wait I spelled my name wrong, damn this is permanent ink,  I found this under the "Dark Lords" Pillow by the way(My writings in the dark BLACK 

Today is going to be so much fun! Harry Potter is now a loner (Like u aren't!) Dumbledore, the old fool, is dead. And I am still the hottest guy alive! Nothing can defeat me now. (Pfft I bet there is if u were defeated by a baby)

So for this occasion I'm going to have a party. The greatest Death Eater party ever (Umm that party actually sucked but at least I got free cheese!) . Well I'll make an even better one when I defeat Hairy Potty and rule over the world. Oh yea… It'll be like Hitler coming back to life except in a magical world. (He knows lots about the Muggles, isn't he the one who hated them?)

So, anyway about my extremely great party (There was an extremely great party?). We are going to put curlers in our hair; well the people who have hair mine is all gone (I'm using the Hair Pro-active Applier) (Yea it hasn't worked yet). Then we're going to paint our nails and give each other facials and trust me just because I'm cutest deformed (Deformed is barely the world)looking Dark Lord doesn't mean I can't have facials. Oh wait hang on I need to get the evil chocolate chip fudge brownies out of the oven…

Ahh that's better. Damn these cookies are as evil and delicious as me. Back to my party. After that we're going to burn down the Malfoy's mansion and roast Marshmallows around the fire. (Ooh yea that was fun until the "Dark Lord" began hitting on an imaginary Lily Potter, that was sooo wrong)

Then we'll tell each other muggle ( See he did another Muggle thing)ghost stories and poke Draco with our wands until he screams like a girl. I was also thinking of tickling him with a feather but that works too.

Next we'll play games. Like Pin The Tale on Dumbledore. And make a Piñata that looks like Harry Potter and smash it onto smithereens. Oh and we are gonna use Draco to play Marco Polo. Hehehe. I crack myself up. After a long and tiring day we'll probably just have a pillow fight.

Oh no diary I almost forgot to mention the greatest attraction of all. We're making Snape do a strip dance for us (Yea he enjoyed that a little too much). Well I have to go now, somebody just found a picture of Dumbledore in a porn magazine. Now that I have to see. (ooh shudders I remember that, it made me wet my bed for days, oh god I have throw up somewhere)

The Hottest and Sexiest Dark Lord Alive (Sexy since when? And he's barely alive I mean we all know about his whorecruxess oh wait that's spelled horcrux, whoops)

Well that was fun, oh no he's coming gtg

The Hottest and Sexiest Dark Rat (or am I Mouse, its hard to tell) Wormtail