Keri: ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR ANOTHER EXCITING ADVENTURE! No? Well that's too bad! I bet you're all wonderin' wtf happened to Red, right! Well, here's the amazing chapter!
Author's Note: Because Shloonktapooxis is REALLY hard to remember how to spell, we're just gonna call him Shloo. XD Ah, lazyness.
Keri ish be Lard Nar and teh Resisty and Tak and Skoodge
Techno ish be Shloonktapooxis and Red and zeh Irken Empire
- - - -
Lard Nar walked about the ship. Well, more liked hopped. His right hand man/cone-thing Shloonktapooxis hovering next to him. Shloo watched as Lard Nar hopped about the ship with interest, but finally, getting bored, decided to speak up,
"Um...like what are we gonna do with the tall red dude?" Lard Nar smiled wickedly,
"That's what you're about to find out, my friend." they approached the prison ward and two guards followed behind them, "Well hello My Tallest." Red raised an 'eyebrow',
"If you're gonna keep me prisoner could you AT LEAST make this more inhabitable?" Red said as he rolled his eyes. Shloo looked at Lard Nar,
"He does have a point, man." Lard Nar growled lowly, his horns twitching. He took a deep breath, his creepy/clam smiled returning.
"'My Tallest' we didn't build the prison to make you comfortable. (Keri and Techno: Megadoomer spoof, rotfl)We built it to serve its purpose: keeping scum like you locked up!" Red crossed his arms,
"Look who's talking, Vortian filth!" Lard Nar's right horn twitched, but other than that he made no indignation that he heard the crimson Tallest.
"I bet you're wondering why we've kidnapped you."
"Hm...not really." Red said shrugging his shoulders. Lard Nar quirked an eyebrow,
"You're not?"
"Nope," Shloo twirled around in the air; bored. The guards couldn't help but chuckle at Red's incompetence to go along with their captain's plan. Red smirked and sat back as comfortable as he could; looking nonchalant. Lard Nar huffed,
"Well fine, I guess, since you're having such a nice time that you don't want to go back to the Massive to eat your doughnuts and see your boyfriend again." he turned to leave. Red started laughing hysterically.
"Y-you think Purple's my b-boyfriend?" he started rolling on the floor in laughter. Shloo started laughing too for no particular reason. The guards started to laugh awkwardly. Lard Nar turned to him,
"Well of course, everyone in the universe does. I mean, it's completely obvious." Red stopped laughing for a second too wipe a tear from his eye.
"Puh-lease me and him are just friends from the academy; I know he likes Zim." Lard Nar's eyes widened,
"So you're saying that you have no problem being an arrogant, pompous, ass-whole to your best friend's crush? AND you trust Zim not to take advantage of this crush while Purple is staying - unprotected - at his base on Earth?" Red raised an eyebrow,
"Well yeah I have a problem with it, but it's not like I can tell him what to do!" Red's eyes widened in shock, "He's at Zim's?"
"Of course he is! Knowing your idiotic 'Empire' they'd want to send him into neutral territory, and Earth is the only neutral planet."
"Hmm...makes sense." he then shrugged once more in boredom, seemingly unaffected by the news. Lard Nar's horn quirked in suspicion,
"You're not worried for him? Zim's seems to be quite unstable, not to mention a ticking time-bomb of insanity."
"Yeah he's psychotic, but he won't DO anything to Purple...except maybe DO him." Red chuckled. Lard Nar shook his head and mumbled 'You Irkens.' before walking back upstairs to the main level. Shloo quirked his head to the side,
"I wonder what he meant by DO him. Hm..." he then floated off to follow Lard Nar.
"You can't be serious?" Lard Nar questioned, "Do you honestly not know what he meant?"
"Uh...NOPE!" He opened his mouth to explain, but thought better of it and just shook his head.
"Aw come on man what's it mean!" Shloo prodded not wanting to forget.
"It means, that he um..." he was cut off by a female Irken ran up to him,
"Sir, we have more recruits from the I.A.I.! And, we're also being hailed by the Armada." she ran off again to do her business.
(Keri: I.A.I., Irkens Against Irk)
Shloo quickly lost interest at the thought of meeting new members, and followed the Irken female. Lard Nar sighed, happy to be out of that awkward conversation. He made his way to the control room to tell his demands; hoping to his Vortian God that Shloo wouldn't scare them back to the Empire. He sat in his captain's chair to accept the call. On the screen appeared a tall Irken female with long curly antenna and green eyes, glaring. Lard Nar nodded his head, curtly,
"Are you ready to hear our demands?" The Irken female, Suri, nodded back just as curtly. Lard Nar stood, "Alright, I'd get some one to dictate," Suri looked over to one of the advisers, and told him in Irken to start writing it down. Once the Irken had gotten ready, Suri looked back at the Vortian indicating he could go on. Lard Nar clear his throat, "First off, we want at least two planets free of Irkens and any technology. Just two bare planets that can be under Resisty rule. Secondly, we demand 5,000 ships. And lastly, we demand the release of all prisoners on planet Vort." Suri opened her eyes in shock at the request,
"Y-you can't be serious?"
"Oh we are very serious! These demands are only a fraction of what we originally had!"
- MEANWHILE -
One of the purple-eyed females looked around; she turned to her red-eyed companion,
"This is boring Skoodge," she whispered, "and we're close to the prison, can we execute the plan now?" Skoodge looked at her,
"Just gimmie a sec, okay Tak! EXCUSE ME!" he said to Shloo, "Um, we've all been dying to poke fun at Red, can we go to the prison ward?" Shloo blinked, the after a few seconds answered,
"SURE! HE'S OVER THERE!" he began started leading them to the end of the hall to Red's cell. Skoodge smiled at Tak,
"Thank you," she bowed before her and the rest of the Irkens made their way to the cell. Shloo hovered off to the control deck where Lard Nar was making his demands. Lard Nar was still fighting with Suri,
"-so unless you think that the Empire can survive with out its darling Tallest Red, then you shall meet our demands!" Suri sighed in defeat,
"Fine...how long do we have?" she asked dejectedly. Lard Nar smiled, sighing in relief as he sat back in his chair,
"How does 4 months sound?"
- MEANWHILE…again -
Tak and Skoodge and the rest of the "I.A.I. recruits" burst into the prison. They had already taken out all the guards - yes, all two of them - and were carrying their shock-staffs. Tak ran up to Red's cage and proceeded to try and find the correct key. Red smiled as he saw Tak and the rest of the Irkens coming to save him,
"I knew you wouldn't agree to anything those Vortian scum had to say!" Red said.
"Well of course not, My Tallest. Have you heard their demands! They're insane! No offense, but they wouldn't give in to those, not even for Miyuki!" Red shrugged,
"None taken...so who's brilliant plan was this?"
"Mine Sir!" Skoodge saluted happily, "But Tak helped work out some bugs." Tak waved her had modestly. Though secretly hoping for her well-earned recognition. Red looked shocked that the short ugly 'invader' came up with it, and as for Tak, he knew she was smart that was no surprise to him.
"Hm...remind me to evaluate you when we return to Irk." The two Irkens smiled at each other happily. Some of the other Irkens were beginning to become distressed as footfalls could be heard coming dangerously close to the prison ward. Red's antenna perked up
"We better get out of here and fast!" Tak found the key and opened the cell for her leader, bowing as he stepped out. Red stretched, happy to be out of the cramped, dirty cell.
"Come on Sir, we don't have much time." she motioned for Red to go up to the main level, the other Irkens surrounding him for protection. Red followed Tak and Skoodge out of the door and through the hallway still surrounded by the Irkens. When they turned the corner they saw some resisty soldiers on guard duty.
"Halt!" The soldiers said, pointing their shock-sticks at them, "Why is this Irken scum with you Irken scum." Tak stepped forward and huffed,
"Irken scum!" she shrieked, "We are the new recruits from the I.A.I. and the Captain has told us to board this Irken for trade back to the Empire!" The soldiers fumbled,
"Um, s-sorry, well, move along." Red tried not to snicker. The crowed moved back through the halls, once they were alone again, Tak turned to Red,
"I'm sorry if I said anything disrespectful, Sir, we have to make this sound convincing; and I'm sorry if I must say anything treasonous." Red waved it off,
"Well obviously." She smiled and bowed slightly, which proved difficult since she was also walking backwards,
"Thank you, My Tallest." Red smiled back, thinking she was flirting with him,
'Well I am irresistible!' a little voice in his head said. Tak returned to leading the group, a small blush on her cheeks.
"Oh Irk!" she thought, "Tallest Red just smiled at me! Arg! Focus! Busyness first, long-time crush later." Red noticed Tak blushing, and gave a toothy grin,
"I still got it baby!' Skoodge noticed Red and Tak flirting and growled inwardly. "We're almost to the docking bay; we need to hurry so we can get the hell out of here." Red raised an 'eyebrow', but shrugged it off. They were stopped at least three more times by guards, and every time went just the same: they'd treat them like shit, Tak would yell, Red would get turned on and the guards would let them pass. Then, finally, they got to the docking bay.
"Sir," Tak said, "Some of us are going to stay behind to kill and capture some of these treasonous Resisty bastards!"
"Alright I guess I'll go to Earth, and get Purple then we'll head back to the Massive!" They all saluted as Red flew off.
- - - -
Keri: ZEH CHAPTER! IT ES OVER /jigs/
Techno: wait! Let's go back to Suri and Lard Nar, and then itz over
Keri: -NEVER-
Techno: Oo...o...k
Keri: rotfl XD
