Part Twelve

Sora and Co made their way to the wonderful land of Castle Oblivion's matching hallways. And found yet another door with a card lock. Without waiting for any sort of remark Sora immediatly took the last card he had out of his pocket and mumbled something about wanting to kill a certain duck.

Sora stuck the card in silently and they ended up in...
Olympus Coliseum! Home of hotheads, hairflips, neverending tornaments, junior heros and a Goat that won't shut the hell up.

Sora: Did we just time travel?
Goofy: -looking around- Gawrsh ya know.. I think we did.
Sora: NEAT! But why Greece?
Donald: Hey retards! Check this out. -points at a advertisment-
Jiminy: -pops out of Sora's eyelid- Holy smokes! IT'S IN ENGLISH.
Sora: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! -holds eye and falls over- JIMINY! WHAT THE CRAP. I CAN'T SEE GAAAAH.
Jiminy: Suck it up you baby.
Sora: THE PAIN. I'M SEEING SPOTS.
Donald: -eye roll- It says here they are having some sort of Survival-Cup.
Goofy: Like Battle Royal?
Donald: ...
Sora: -stands up completely forgetting about his eye- COOL. When do we get the bomb collars?
Donald: What the hell are you two talking about?
Sora: -making martial arts poses- I'll go Kiriyama on those bitches!
Donald: Survival-Cup...Race.
Sora: ..Oh. -frowns-
Goofy: -pats Sora on the back- Another time.
Donald: -reading the sign- "Unbeatable Champion competing..Blah blah, May result in deaths. Do not compete if you are Obese, Pregnant, Or may have mental illness." Hm..Sora I don't think you can compete.
Sora: I'm not pregnant!
Donald: -slams his head againts the sign-
Goofy: I think he was suggesting something else.
Sora: I'M NOT FAT DONALD! THEREFORE. I COMPETE! Where's the sign up booth?
Donald: I don't think mental illness cuts it for you..-sigh- Let's go sign up.
Sora: YAY!
Sora and Co exit stage right towards the place where you sign up, and Hades who just happens to be taking a stroll through the Coliseum shows up.
Hades: Eh? A random-advertisement for doom? Interesting...-reads- WHAT? Hercules Champion? I think not. Time for some evil plot to get someone else to do my dirty work. Mwaha. He won't get past me this time! I'll send him to the Underworld where I'll make him my manbitch. Hahaha.
And then.. Cloud shows up from Cameoland in a stolen cape from someone who will not be mentioned cause they might suck my blood.
Cloud: ...You are talking to yourself again.
Hades: Oh? Yeah.. I do that sometimes. Now, for my evil plot... I wan-
Cloud: You told me the evil plot.
Hades: I like talking though so I'll repeat it, OKAY? You got a problem with me reminding you?
Cloud: ...Yes.
Hades: SHUT UP OKAY. Now.. AS I was saying, The evil plot you compete and then Kill Hercules.
Cloud: I have an odd feeling this plan won't work..
Hades: NO. IT WILL. IT'S FLAWLESS. FLAWLESS I SAY NOW SHUT UP.
Cloud: --
Hades: Where was I..AH. Okay do that and then you get your memories back.
Cloud: THEN, I get my movie?
Hades: Huh? What.. No. Sorry bud.
Cloud: -frowns-
Hades: Cheer up Emo kid, You get your own side story in the next game.
Cloud: ...I'm not emo.
Hades: Yes you are. Now go do my evil plot! Off with you!

Cloud walked off. Meanwhile, Sora and Co found their way to the sign up booth by kicking over every single barrel, which they happened to lead right to it- There the Greedy Goat, Phil is sitting there counting money.
Sora: WHAT THE HECK IS THAT!
Goofy: I don't know! IT'S SCARY.
Goat: Who the hell are you freaks?
Sora: IT TALKS. Goofy get me a stick!
Goofy: -hands Sora a stick, who starts poking the goatman with it.-
Phil: Hey cut that out! Are you weirdos done with the prelims already?
Donald: No w- -gets mouth covered by Sora-
Sora: YES. COMPETITION NOW PLEASE.
Phil: You're going to loose. Suit yourself, competition starts in a few.
Donald: I think we can win.
Phil: Not against the greatest hero ever you're not.
Sora: Oh you mean me?
Phil: No not you. Two words: You aint heros.
Goofy: ...
Phil: Now I give you Six words: Go away!
Donald: Somebody doesn't know how to count...
Sora: WE ARE THE GREATEST HEROES EVER! Plus you can't let me NOT compete.. I'm the main character.
Phil: I can refuse to let the main character compete ya know.
Sora: B-But!
Phil: Heh.
Hercules: -Comes straight from the sky!- A message from God! Let them compete you goat bastard.
Sora: HOLY CRAP. He speaks english!
Donald: And you don't find it weird that we are?
Sora: -looks at Donald- Silly Duck. It's perfectly normal for you to speak English.
Donald: Uh-huh...
Hercules: Anyways..
Phil: Fine they compete. But only cause I want their entry fee. Heh-Heh-Heh.
Sora: Entry fee? YOU CAN'T CHARGE THE MAIN CHARACTER! RAWR!
Goofy: I'm begining to think I shouldn't have mentioned him being the main character.
Donald: No kidding.
Phil: No fee, no competition.
Donald: I'd hate to break it to ya, but we're broke.
Phil: So sell me something.
Sora: Like what? OH OH I KNOW. -Hands Phil the keyblade- Nice and shiny!
Goofy: Uh Sora..I don't think-
Sora: SHUSH. My brain is working
Donald: I'm not sure it's working right..
Phil: WOAH. Okay you can compete. -greedy grin- Here's how it works-
Cloud comes out of the bathroom and comes over.
Cloud: Hi.
Sora: H- OH MY GOD A BATHROOM! -runs over to it- Sweet bathroom! I finally found you!
Cloud: It's not much use you know.. There isn't a toilet in there.
Sora: WHAT? -looks in- HOW IS THERE A BATHROOM WITH NO TOILET?
Cloud: -shrug- Anyway. Hi. I'm Cloud.
Sora: AND I'M- ...Your hair defyies gravity too! NEAT.
Cloud: Uh..
Phil: More competitors..means..MORE ENTRIE FEES!
Cloud: Not paying.
Phil: WHAT?
Cloud: I don't want to. So I'm not going to.
Phil: You can't just not pay!
Cloud: Watch me.
Phil: -glare-
Hercules: I'm still here ya know.
Everyone: Yeah we know..
Phil: If you don't pay I'm going to-
Cloud: Charge at me? Eat my cape?
Sora: SHUT UP! I WANT TO COMPETE DAMNIT!
Everyone: oo
Sora: COMPETITION NOW. NO MORE TALK.
Cloud: ...Whatever. Okay.
Phil: Okay but first the rules..Your goal is simple you-
Sora: -Thinking- Rules? Boring.. Does this thing ever shut up? This goat is a pain in the ass. He should die with Donald. Why are all talking animals annoying? That's probally why most dogs don't talk.. Like Pluto. Pluto doesn't talk.. I wonder where he went. He WERE following him after all. Stopped to sleep and- Hey I never got to read that letter. I wonder what it said. Probably something important telling me how I need to save the universe again. I'm so awsome like that. ...I wonder if Cloud uses the same shampoo as me. I think he might, It doesn't smell like mine though his hair has a more citris-y smell to it-
Cloud: -Could you stop sniffing my hair?
Sora: HUH? Oh right..Sorry.
Cloud: Weirdo.
Phil: -And that's the rules. Any questions?
Sora: -raises hand-
Phil: Yes?
Sora: Could you repeat that?
Phil: ...No. Okay ready! GO!
Everyone but Phil runs off in a race to the finish.

Donald and Goofy follow Sora for all of three minutes, until they relized he had no idea what the hell he was doing- So Donald took the role of leader in the race for them. The eventually caught up to Cloud who decided he felt like standing still.
Goofy: AW. He waited for us! That's so nice of him.
Donald: Goofy you fucking retard! He's following rule number 56!
Goofy: OH NO! WE ARE DOOMED.
Sora: Rule...56?
Donald: YES. Wheren't you paying attention?
Sora: Uh to be honest...no.
Donald: -facepalm-
Goofy: We'll have to follow rule 93 then!
Donald: Right! BRING IT CLOUD.
Sora: Huuh?
Goofy and Donald: -pull their weapons out-
Sora: UM?
Cloud: I'm just standing here. Ignore me.
Donald: Oh. -puts weapon away-
Sora: I think I speak for everyone here when I say huuuuh?
Cloud: Go win, kaythnx. I'm just here okay?
Sora: OKAY! -runs ahead- I'M WINNING WEEEEEE!
Goofy: Sora wait! You have no clue what yer doin'! -runs after-
Donald: I don't suppose you'd be willing to shoot me in the head?
Cloud: Sorry. I'm fresh out of guns.
Donald: Cut my head off?
Cloud: ... I have to kill someone else first.
Donald: Riight.
Cloud: Go catch up to your idiots.
Sora runs back Goofy behind him
Sora: DONALD.. I don't know where I'm going.
Donald: Ofcourse you don't retard! That's what you get for not paying attention!
Sora: ..BORED NOW.
Goofy: Are you sure you don't have ADD?
Sora: ADD? Nuu..I don't think so- HEY CLOUD! LET'S FIGHT!
Goofy: Yeah he has it..
Donald: It took you this long to notice?
Sora: CLOUD FIGHT TIME! NOW.
Cloud: ...
Sora: -jumps up and down- FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
Cloud: Whatever.

Battle Start!
Cloud pulls out his UltraMegaMummifiedLongSwordOfDOOM.
Sora: ...OH SNAP. PHIL HAS MY KEYBLADE!
Cloud: What?
Sora: OH MAN OH MAN! -pulls at his hair- I CAN'T FIGHT NOW.. Sorry.
Cloud: Oh...okay then. I'll just..go.
Sora: Okay! Can I say I won?
Cloud: -shrug- Sure.
Sora: YAY I WIN! MWAHAHA.
Cloud: ...
Battle End

Sora: HAHA -dance his victory dance-
Donald: You didn't even fight!
Sora: I WON THOUGH. HAHA Go Sora! Go Sora! It's your birthday! Uh-Huh! Get funky!
Donald: Are you still on drugs?
Goofy: Cloud went poof guys..
Jiminy: -Pops up from underneath Sora's toenail- He's making a run for the finish! AFTER HIM!
Sora: AHHHHHHHH MY TOE. -falls over- Wait? Finish you say? NO WAY. I WIN! ONLY ME! THE MAIN CHARACTER! BLONDIE IS GOING DOWN! -races forward-
Jiminy: After that Emo!
Goofy: CHARGE!
Donald: Stupididioticretard..I'm coming I'm coming. -follows-

Sora runs while screaming at the top of his lungs while Goofy and Donald try to keep up. Sora stops short and they crashed into him. Cloud's sitting on the floor Indian style while Hercules is pointing at him with a angry face.
Sora: I CAUGHT UP! WOO! I must be the Flash!
Donald: You didn't catch up. They just stopped walking.
Sora: Shut up! Don't defy my speed skills!
Hercules: You can't defeat me Cloud! Haha.
Cloud: I think I can defeat some guy in a shirt.
Hercules: Don't be dissing my shirt! snap snap
Cloud: ...Excuse me. stand up and starts laughing Okay done.
Hercules: UGH!
Sora: -sits and watches with popcorn-
Donald: SORA! You should atleast help!
Sora: You kidding? And ruin the show? No way.
Donald: -kicks Sora over-
Hercules: ..SEE. I have back up!
Cloud: That kid doesn't even have his weapon..
Sora: -sweatdrop- Yeaaaah...
Hercules: We can still take him!
Cloud: Uh-huh.. -eyeroll- I can still win and get back my Movie! Uh..oh and the memories! That too.
Sora: You're in a movie? COOL!
Cloud: -blush- Yeah well...
Sora: Can I have an autograph incase you get super uber famous!
Cloud: Well sur-
Hercules: EXCUSE ME. That's waaaaay off topic!
Donald: Memories too eh?
Cloud: Uh.. right right. Yeah. I kinda forgot everything. I feel like I'm suppose to be doing something..

ELSEWHERE:
Sephiroth: MWAHAHA THE WORLD IS MINE!
Tifa: Ah shit. Where the hell is Cloud?

Cloud: Hm.. well, once I get the memory back I'll remember.
Hades: -Comes completely out of nowhere- You are ruining the evil plan of mine Cloud. Keep your mouth shut.
Sora: OH MY GOD. YOUR HEAD IS ON FIRE!
Hades: Yes, I'm fully aware of that.
Hercules: Hades! My arch nemesis!
Hades: What what? Still alive? Cloud I told you to kill the freak didn't I? -sigh- Well this is disapointing. This is coming out of your paycheck boy. You're fired.
Cloud: Nobody fires Cloud!
Hades: I think I just did. Welcome to the world of Unemployment. Anywho..AH. Right. Kill the pansy. Allow me to follow rule 69! Hahaha.
Donald: Not rule 69!
Cloud: OH GOD NO!
Goofy: EWWWWW..
Sora: oo?
Hercules: So it was you who initiated rule 12!
Hades: Yes it was me! And I'm responsable for rule 51 too! I'm unstoppable! Follow me for rule 69 dearie.
Hercules: Never!
Sora: Hey what's going on?
Donald: Shuuush! Follow rule 6 Sora!
Goofy: Ahha! Sora rule 576! Now! Go go!
Donald: Ofcourse! Why didn't I think of that! Sora go interfere!
Sora: My brain hurts.. But okay! -steps infront of Hades- BAD HOTHEAD BAD!
Hades: I guess I'll just have to pull rule 3! KILL THE OPPONENTS.
Sora: THERE'S A RULE LIKE THAT? Uh-oh..

Battle Start
Hades: Rule # 10. There are no rules. HAHA
Sora: This won't end well..
Hades: HAHA. -throws fire at him-
Sora: AAAAAHHHH. -runs-
Hades: Chicken?
Sora: YES.
Hades: I like my chicken fried! -sets Sora on fire-
Sora: AAAHH I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE! -runs in circles- WATER. I NEED WATER. HEEEEELP.
Hades: Oh this is amusing.
Sora: I NEED LIQUID! SOMEBODY PUT ME OUT! AAAH.
Hades: -laughing histerically-
Sora: HEEEEEELP! -Stops.Drops.And rolls- Oh thank god. I..wait a minute. I HAVE TO PEE!
Hades: Thanks for sharing. Really.
Sora: -evil grin-
Hades: Eh?
Sora: -steps closer-
Hades: The hell?
------------------
Battle End

Sora: VICTORY!
Donald: You put Hades out..
Sora: Yup. -big grin-
Goofy: Ew..
Hercules: I never even thought of winning that way.
Sora: -flexs- I have the skills. I'm a genius!
Donald: Sora you peed on his head..
Sora: AND WON. Haha!
Donald: Yeah but still..You peed on his head.
Sora: No more Mr.Hothead. Haha! Skills!
Goofy: I'm speechless.
Hercules: I guess you don't need to find a bathroom anymore huh..?
Sora: Nope! -smiles-
Donald: That means.. We can leave the Castle! OH THANK GOD.
Goofy: Good! No more crazy memory loosing world!
Donald: Woohoo!
Phil walks up holding the keyblade.
Phil: The games are cancelled.
Sora: All well..Let's go!
Hercules: Bye then!
Sora: See ya!
Donald: Sora don't you think you should get something back first? HintHintTheKeyblade.
Sora: Huh? NAW. It was Phil's payment.
Phil: I'm not giving it back anyway!
Sora: See?
Donald: No really we need it.
Sora: All in good time, my pantless friend.
Jiminy: -pops out from behind Sora's ear- We're leaving?
Sora: YUP!
Cloud: -hairflip- Um.. Yeah. I'm going to go figure out what I was forgetting.
Goofy: Good luck with that.
Sora: Don't I get some sort of prize for winning?
Phil: Technically, you didn't win.
Sora: I beat Hades! I get some sort of prize!
Phil: Nope. Beat it.
Sora: FINE. BYE THEN YOU FUCKING RETARDED GOAT.
Phil: Bye!

Sora and Co make their way to the big ridiculously long ladder that just happens to be everywhere.
Sora: WAIT. Hold up guys!
Donald: What now?
Sora: -puts hand out- Just wait a second okay..
Donald: What the hell? Get a move on!
Sora: Any second now...
Goofy?
Donald: Don't be stupid Sora come on.
Sora: Wait for it..
Donald: -taps foot-
Sora: -keyblade pops in hand- YES! Haha!
Donald: Now can we go?
Sora: Yup!
Off in the distance they herd Phil cursing them out..