One Piece Tournament Massacre!
Round 1
Welcome to Round 1 of the tourney! Now I haven't slept properly for 3 weeks which means I'm tired so don't expect proper grammar or effort in this chapter. Also this is set after the Enies Lobby Arc. Also I will occasionally make hints about romances. Now let's begin!
Disclaimer: I don't own one piece... or do I? No, I don't...
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"Welcome to round 1!" said Lord Sting... please don't make me say it again "Let's start with our first match: Ace vs. Whitebeard!"
Match 1
Ace vs. Whitebeard
Ace walks into the arena.
"Hey!" said Ace "Where's the captain?"
"I don't know" said the ref.
"Sir! Sir!" said a lady as she ran up to Ace.
"What is it?" asked Ace "And who are you?"
"I'm one of Mr. Newgates nurses sir, and Mr. Newgate says that he's to sick to compete!" said the woman.
"He's never let that stop him before" said Ace "Where is he really?"
"Um... drinking with some hookers sir" said the nurse.
"Hookers? That senile giant got two hookers, and I've never had a girlfriend? Damn it!" shouted Ace.
"Well if it's any consolation" said the ref "You win the round" "
Yeah I guess it's OK..." mumbled Ace "It would have been cool to fight someone..."
Winner: Ace
Match 2
Yosaku vs. Jango
Jango and Yosaku walk into the arena.
"You're goin' down" said Yosaku as he pulled out his sword.
"No my friend" said Jango as he pulled out his pendulum "You're going down"
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
"Listen up pirate!" said Jango "When I say 1, 2, Jango, you're gonna leave the arena as fast as you're legs can take you! 1... 2... JANGO!"
At that second both of them began to run out of the arena.
"No Jango!" said Fullbody in the audience "Stay back!"
"Don't tell me that he hypnotized himself again!" said Hina.
Fortunately for Jango, Yosaku was faster than Jango and left the arena first.
"Yosaku is disqualified!" announced the ref "Jango is the winner!"
Winner: Jango
Match 3
Sogeking vs. Buggy
Sogeking and Buggy walk into the arena.
"Hey!" said Buggy "Aren't you that Usopp guy from the strawhat's crew?"
"Of course not" said Sogeking with an anime sweatdrop forming "I am Sogeking! I am not Usopp but I do know him very well!"
"Right" said Buggy as he rolled his eyes.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
"Bara Bara Party!" said buggy as his hands and head floated up in the air while holding knifes.
"Triple Phoenix Nutcracker!" screamed Sogeking as he fired a lead ball into Buggy's nuts.
"Pain!" screamed Buggy as his floating body parts fell to the ground.
Sogeking grabbed Buggy's head and loaded it onto the Kabuto.
"Clown Catapult!" said Sogeking as he fired Buggy off into the distance.
"FUCK YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!" screamed Buggy as he went flying away.
"The winner is Sogeking!" said the ref.
"What should we do with the remains of his body?" asked Sogeking.
At that point Sanji walked onto the stage. "I'll cook it for dinner tonight" said Sanji as he dragged the rest of Buggy's body away.
Winner: Sogeking
Round 4
Kuro vs. Bon Clay
Kuro and Bon Clay walk into the arena.
"Hello Bon Clay" said Kuro "I have heard of you and how you are a friend to the straw-hat crew, I have to say that it is a poor decision in friends"
Then suddenly Bon Clay's face turned into Kuro's
"Hello Bon Clay" mimicked Bon Clay "I have heard of you and how you are a friend to the straw-hat crew, I have to say that it is a poor taste in friends"
"Don't copy me fool" said Kuro.
"Don't copy me fool" mimicked Bon Clay.
"Let the Match-" began the ref.
"I SAID QIUT COPPYING ME!" shouted Kuro.
"I SAID QUIT COPPYING ME!" mimicked Bon Clay.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" screamed Kuro as he charged towards Bon Clay, claws ready.
"Hold it Kuro!" said the ref "You have begun battle before I said go! Therefore you are disqualified!"
"DAMMIT!" screamed Kuro.
"DAMMIT!" Screamed Bon Clay.
"NO MORE!" screamed Kuro as he ran away.
Winner: Bon Clay
Match 5
Hina vs. Lord SDX4W (I'm just getting lazy now...)
Hina and Lord SDX4W walk into the arena.
"Nice to meet you Hina" said Lord SDX4W.
"I hear that you have quite a devil fruit power" said Hina "May I ask what it is?"
"You'll find out" said Lord SDX4W.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref. Before Hina could even do anything, Lord SDX4W lifted his hands and fired strange black rings at Hina.
"What the- Whoa!" said Hina as her body started flailing about "What is going on?"
"It's the power of my devil Fruit, the skull skull fruit" explained Lord SDX4W "It allows me to control the skeleton of a person whether or not it's in the body"
At this point Hina started slapping herself and beginning to strip.
This caused Jango, Fullbody, Smoker and Sanji to start cheering.
"Stop please!" begged Hina "What will take to make you stop this torture!"
"Isn't it obvious?" asked Lord SDX4W.
"Oh very well" said Hina "I surrender!"
"Hina has forfeited the match! Lord Stingdingdingdingdingworth is the winner!" said the ref.
Winner: Lord SDX4W
Match 6
Zoro vs. Tashigi
Zoro and Tashigi walk into the arena.
"YOU!" shouted both at the same time.
"Are you stalking me or something?" asked Zoro.
"What? You think I'm stalking you?" asked Tashigi "If anything you're stalking me!"
"Let the match begin!" said the ref. The began clashing swords over and over again.
"You don't deserve those swords!" said Tashigi "And I'm going to take them off you if it's the last thing I ever do!"
"Yeah? Well take this!" said Zoro as he slashed straight down at Tashigi.
A few seconds passed, and then Tashgi's shirt fell apart.
"WOOH!" screamed every man in the audience.
"You..." said Tashigi with anger in her voice.
"Uh-oh" said Zoro "I... I didn't mean for that to happen... honest!"
"You..." said Tashigi as she slowly walked towards Zoro.
"Uh..." said Zolo nervously "This doesn't look good..."
"I'll get you..." said Tashigi "Once I get another shirt that is".
Then she walked out of the arena.
"Wow these matches are pretty boring" said the ref "I guess Zoro wins..."
Winner: Zoro
Match 7
Luffy vs. Kreig
Luffy and Kreig walk into the arena.
"Hey you look familiar" said Luffy "What's your name again? Doom Craig or something?"
"Don Kreig rubber boy" said Don Kreig.
"Let the match begin!" Don Kreig instantly began by pulling a gun out of his pocket and firing it a Luffy.
"Uh... you do remember that I'm made of rubber right?" asked Luffy as the bullets him and went flying back in Kreig's direction.
"You what now?" asked Kreig.
Then instantly, a hundred bullets went flying into Don Kreig and destroying his armor.
"My armor!" shouted Kreig in shock. "And now" said Luffy as he started winding his arm "Gomu Gomu Blast!"
Luffy smashed Don Kreig in the chest and sent him flying.
"Uh..." said the ref "The winner is Luffy..."
Winner: Luffy
Match 8
Sir Crocodile vs. Alvida
Sir Crocodile and Alvida walk into the arena.
"Sir Crocodile? I thought they put you in prison" said Alvida.
"They're letting me out for this tournament only" said Crocodile "But I have to stay with my parole officer Steve Irwin..."
"Cricky!" said Crocodile's parole officer in the audience.
"PISS OFF!" screamed Sir Crocodile.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref. Crocodile started the match off with a sandstorm.
"You think that can hurt me?" asked Alvida "My devil fruit makes anything that could harm me bounces right off my skin!"
"Who said anything about trying to hurt you?" asked Sir Crocodile "I'm just making sure you can't reach me"
"Oh yeah!" said Alvida.
She tried to run up to Crocodile but the sand and wind just kept pulling her back.
"Wait a minute" said Alvida as she pulled out a gun "I've got an idea..."
She shot at Sir Crocodile but before it reached him, Crocodile made a sand shield.
"There's no way that the bullet would reach me fast enough before I found out about it Alvida" said Crocodile.
"Unless..." said Alvida "I wonder..."
Then Alvida aimed the gun at herself and fired.
The bullet hit her and bounced off and charged at Sir Crocodile at three times the speed of a normal bullet.
"What the-" began Crocodile, but the before he could finish, the bullet went into his mouth.
"Uh-oh" said Alvida.
Before she could move, Sir Crocodile spat the bullet back at her.
The bullet bounced off her, but the blow knocked her out of the arena. Sir Crocodile let the sandstorm die.
"Sir Crocodile is the winner!" said the ref.
Winner: Crocodile
Match 9
Smoker vs. Aokiji
Smoker and Aokiji walk into the arena.
"Good to see you again smoker" said Aokiji.
"Good to see you as well" said Smoker.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
Aokiji Began the match by turning himself into ice. (I know it doesn't seem like the best move ever... and it isn't!)
"Bad idea, blue pheasant" said smoker as he pulled out his cigars and rub the tips on Aokiji.
Aokiji began to melt until he was a puddle.
"Wonder why he did that?" asked the ref.
"Who knows" said smoker as he put a strange looking rock into his pocket (No, it isn't a sea stone. You'll find out what it is later...)
Winner: Smoker
Match 10
Shanks vs. Vivi
Shanks and Vivi walk into the arena.
"Let the match-" began the ref, but then he took a look at Vivi "Whoa! You're hot! What do say to dinner some time huh?"
"Sorry" said Vivi "Not interested"
"Very well" said the ref "Shanks is the winner!"
"WHAT!" said Vivi "You'll pay for this! I'll be back with the most powerful weapon of the seven seas: a lawyer!" Then Vivi ran off.
Winner: Shanks
(I know that didn't seem like much but I'm really tired)
Match 11
Blackbeard vs. Chopper
Blackbeard and Chopper walk into the arena.
"You're my opponent?" asked Blackbeard "Pathetic"
Chopper went into full human mode "Am I scary now?" asked Chopper.
"Nope" said Blackbeard.
"How 'bout now?" said Chopper as he swallows 3 rumble balls at once and became monster mode. "
Oh shit" said Blackbeard.
"Let the match begin" said the ref.
Chopper screamed and then punched Blackbeard right out of the arena and into the sky.
"Chopper is the winner!" said the ref. But chopper didn't seem to care as he started smashing the arena with his fists.
"Uh-oh" said Franky in the audience "He can't stop! I better do it for him"
With that Franky ran into the arena and smashed Chopper into the ocean.
"Someone go in and get him" said Franky "I have to get ready for my match"
Winner: Chopper
Match 12
Franky vs. Arlong
Franky and Arlong walk into the arena.
"So you're Saw-tooth Arlong" said Franky "Nami has told me much about you"
"Really? I assume she told you how much I hate Speedos right?" asked Arlong.
"You hate Speedos? But... I love Speedos... such..." said Franky as he pulled out his famous guitar "Such cruelty against the Speedo! I call this song 'Why do the sharks hate the auzzie's gift to the world?'"
"Yay Franky!" cheered the square sisters in the audience.
"What the hell!" said Arlong.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
Arlong pulled two sets of teeth out from his jaw and placed them in each hand.
"Think you can beat my awesome chompers crunching your body to dust?" asked Arlong.
"Think you can beat 4 tons of steel punching you in the face" said Franky as he let his arm torpedoes charge at Arlong.
"Uh-oh" said Arlong as he was punched out of the arena.
"Franky is the winner!" said the Ref.
Winner: Franky
Match 13
Nami vs. Sanji
Nami and Sanji walk into the arena.
"I'm facing you?" said Sanji nervously.
Sanji knew that he can't ever resist a word said by Nami, and Nami knew this as well.
"Sanji, do you think you could do something for me?" asked Nami.
"W-what?" stuttered Sanji, who already knew where this was going.
"When the match begins, do you think you could just lose on purpose?" asked Nami.
Sanji tried as hard as he could to say no.
"N- N- Yes Nami! Of course!" said Sanji with love hearts in his eyes.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref. Nami came up and smashed Sanji in the head with her clima-tact.
Normally that would not hurt Sanji, but Sanji still pretended to fly across the field and pretend to be out cold.
"That seemed too easy" said the ref, who clearly didn't listen to their conversation "I guess Nami is the winner!"
Winner: Nami
Match 14
Wapol vs. Robin
Wapol and Robin walk into the arena.
"Well Hello hello" said the once fat man with love hearts in his eyes "You certainly look delicious!"
"I bet you say that to all the former baroque works members that have cursed fruit powers and the ability to read ancient poneglyth tablets" said Robin while blushing.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
"You look so delicious I could just eat you up!" said Wapol "And because of my Baku Baku fruit, I can!" With that Wapol swallowed Robin.
Or, he tried to but Robin wouldn't be swallowed.
"Let me out of here!" screamed Robin from the inside of Wapol's mouth.
"Shut up!" said Wapol as he punched himself in the mouth to shut her up.
"Ow!" said Wapol "That was stupid!" "Wait a minute... that gives me an idea!" said Robin.
All the sudden, Wapol started screaming in pain. Robin was beating up Wapol from the inside.
"AHHH!" screamed Wapol as he fell over and passed out.
Robin crawled out of Wapol's mouth.
"Robin is the winner!" said the ref.
Winner: Robin
Match 15
Fullbody vs. Mihawk
Fullbody & Mihawk walk into the arena.
"Uh... who are you?" asked Fullbody.
"Your worst nightmare" said Mihawk.
"Nope" said Fullbody "My worst nightmare is Jango stealing Hina from me"
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
Before Fullbody could do anything, Mihawk seem to just disappear into thin air.
Then he appeared right behind Fullbody and slashed him in the back.
Before Fullbody could get up, Mihawk slashed his back again.
This time Fullbody didn't try to get up.
"Mihawk is the winner!" said the ref.
Winner: Mihawk
Match 16
Foxy vs. Johnny
Foxy and Johnny walk into the arena.
"Let the match begin!" said the ref.
Johnny went charging for Foxy but Foxy fired strange purple rings at Johnny and made slow down until he was barely moving.
"And now I move out of the way" said Foxy as he took a step to the right.
Thirty seconds passed and Johnny sped up. But due to the devil fruit power of Foxy, it causes him to speed up for five seconds.
Johnny couldn't slow down and ran out of the arena.
"Johnny is disqualified! Foxy is the winner!" said the ref.
Winner: Foxy
"That was some great action!" said Lord SDX4W "Let's check out who's left for round 2!"
1. Luffy
2. Zoro
3. Nami
4. Sogeking
5. Chopper
6. Robin
7. Franky
8. Ace
9. Shanks
10. Smoker
11. Sir Crocodile
12. Mr. 2 Bon Clay
13. Mihawk
14. Foxy
15. Jango
16. Lord Stingdingdingdingdingworth
"And here are the matches for tomorrow!"
Smoker vs. Crocodile
Zoro vs. Mihawk
Franky vs. Lord Stingdingdingdingdingworth
Robin vs. Jango
Luffy vs. Nami
Chopper vs. Sogeking
Ace vs. Foxy
Bon Clay vs. Shanks
"Looks exciting! We'll see you tomorrow for that! See you then!"
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I hope you guys enjoyed that! I'm sorry if the matches didn't seem very good but I'm not too good at describing battles. If someone could help me out with that, it would be great! OK see ya!