ZEDD - A FEW HOURS LATER

I'm a little surprised at the vindictive streak that Kira's showing. I've never seen her be outright mean regarding anyone, but this time she's playing for keeps as the humans say. Once more I find myself glad that she's on our side and has joined us. Although I do sometimes worry about her in regards to being the only single person in the castle. Perhaps she truly has no idea what she wants or needs in a mate? Or her expectations are off? After all, I would never have expected that Thomas would be such a good match for me. Granted, our relationship isn't perfect, but on the whole I'd say that, for two such different people, we make things work rather well.

Pushing that aside for now, I ease into the bedroom, expecting to find Thomas still asleep. Instead I find him wide awake, slow tears coursing down his face. "Thomas? Hey, what's wrong, love?"

He shrugs and wipes his face. "I don't know." Turning those brown eyes on me, the ones that are just like my son's, I feel my heart ache for him at what he says next. "Zedd, I don't feel okay. I know I've been saying I'm okay, and I want to be okay, but I'm not."

"Are you hurting?" I sit next to him and gently pull him to lean against me.

"No more than usual lately, but even so I don't think that's it."

"Is it worry over Essa?"

"No, I just - I just feel really down for some reason. I should be happy, Jacob's finally here, and Mara Jane is so happy to have her little brother, we're home, and even when we go back to Earth the house is all ready, I don't know why I can't be happy. I don't know what's wrong or how to fix it."

My concern mounting over this new information, I press a kiss to his forehead, even as I try to send him soothing feelings through the bond in hopes of helping. "Is there anything I can do?"

"I doubt it, mate. It's been happening for the last several days. It comes and goes."

I frown. "Somehow I don't think that's normal. Maybe-"

He interrupts me with a heavy sigh. "Zedd, I don't need to go see Pina over every little thing. It makes me feel - defective. It's bad enough that things went so badly with Jacob's birth, but can we not do this on top of it?"

"I'm sorry, Thomas. I don't mean to make you feel like that. It's just that, with what did go wrong and nobody knew that something was wrong, I don't want to take a chance that this is an indicator of a problem and we ignore it." Seeing and feeling his unhappiness increase I continue quickly, trying my best to lighten the mood. "I mean let's face it, love, if anything happens to you I'm done for. We both know I can't handle the kids alone, hell, two days into me trying and the palace would be painted pink, flooded, and filled with wild animals, and that's in a best case scenario"

Smiling weakly, and most likely for my benefit, he heaves a soft sigh. "I just feel bad that I don't feel better, and that just makes me feel worse, and I don't know how Pina is going to help when I don't even really know what's wrong, or if there really is anything wrong."

"Wouldn't it be better to know for sure though? At least for my peace of mind, love?"

"I guess."

"You know I wouldn't push you if I wasn't worried, right?"

"I know, but I still don't like it" he says miserably. "You didn't have these kind of problems."

"We aren't the same species, love. That could be the difference."

He thinks about this for a minute. "I suppose so." Reluctantly, he nods. "I guess I can talk to her about it."

I help him out of bed and back into his clothes. "Lunch first, then we'll worry about it."

When we reach the kitchen, Pina and Kira are looking at something on Kira's laptop. "I thought I remembered something about this from Earth" the younger female says.

"It's definitely possible" Pina agrees. "We'll have to ask him about it."

"Ask who about what?" I inquire.

They look up. "Oh good, you're here. Tommy, we wanted to ask you some things." He nods, indicating they can continue. "We've noticed that you've been a bit depressed from time to time since Jacob was born." Wait, how did they notice and I haven't?

Looking a bit uncomfortable, he however gives another nod, very likely seeing no point in denying it after our discussion upstairs. "Yeah, why?"

Pina asks, "Have you been having insomnia or trouble sleeping?"

"Kind of. I mean, I've been sleeping a lot more than normal because of the healing process, but sometimes it's really hard for me to fall asleep."

"Is your irritability more intense than it usually is?"

He looks at me. "I don't think so."

I shake my head. "It doesn't seem much worse than usual, love."

Kira looks at Pina. "He does have mood swings, but I wouldn't call them severe. He hasn't been withdrawing from us, so that's out. There's really no point in asking him about that, since he's still healing" she says, pointing at something on the screen.

Pina shakes her head. "Loss of interest and ability are not the same thing. He might be very interested in sex at the moment, but due to surgery he can't follow it through at the moment."

"Even so, the last one worries me the most as a potential symptom."

Pina looks at us. "Don't get upset" she cautions. "I'm asking more to rule this out rather than because I think it's the problem." We nod. "Tommy, um, do you - um, have thoughts of hurting yourself or Jacob?"

"What?! No!" Thomas answers, shocked.

Kira and Pina both sigh in relief, even as a sudden look of understanding crosses my mate's face.

"Wait, you two thought I had postpartum depression?" Post what now?

"We weren't certain if it could be that or something similar. I'm guessing, in spite of you being male, you're suffering from what the humans call 'baby blues'. It's because of the extreme and rapid change in hormones. Odds are, you'll only be affected off and on for another week or so."

"Thank the powers" I say, pulling him close and feeling him sag against me in relief. Still I can't help but ask, "Are you sure?"

Pina spins the computer around. "Here's the symptoms of both conditions side by side."

We both look over the lists. I'm a little surprised when he says hesitantly, "Well, there is one other thing that has been concerning me and it's on the worse list." Instantly, he has everyone's attention. "I don't really feel like Jacob and I are or have bonded - at all. Zedd let me hold him this morning and all he did was cry. The moment Zedd took him back, he stopped."

"Due to the severity of your complications from having him removed, you haven't really been able to spend a lot of time with him. If I had to guess I'd say it's not so much you don't have a bond with him, or won't, it's just that he's not used to you yet. Well, this side of you - he's rather familiar with the inside. Plus your voice will sound different to him now" Pina points out.

"Great. He's not even a teenager yet and he already hates me" he tries to joke weakly. "How's that for advanced?"

"Just what you need" Kira agrees, straight faced. "A prodigy. The good news is that he can get over the hating part before he gets mouthy about it."

"Somehow, Kira, that wasn't nearly as helpful as you'd like to think. I can deal with teenagers with attitudes and smart mouths. The piercing wail of my baby, not so much."

"Point" she concedes. "But once the baby blues thing subsides and you heal, you'll be able to focus exclusively on bonding with him and everything will be all right."

"I guess so."

Feeling badly as I notice his mood take another dive, I try to think of something to offer. "If it'll help, I'll be the strict parent with Jacob, like you are with Mara Jane.

Then he can focus his displeasure on me while being mischievous with you."

Thankfully smirking a bit at this, he shakes his head. "Zedd, while I appreciate the offer, we both know that wouldn't last past the first time you made him whimper."

"I suppose." Knowing he's right, especially if Jacob continues to grow up to look like Thomas, I'm well aware that it's very likely he'll have me even more at his mercy then his older sister does at times.

Giving me a kiss, and at least looking a tad more upbeat now, Thomas seems to know exactly where my thoughts are. "I love you for offering though."

"Still wish I could help you feel better."

"I'll get there. In the meantime, we have a prisoner and a traitor to deal with."

Dar speaks up. "I had a thought. Kira suggested that a little destruction to your office wall would confirm you being out of control, thus not safe to be around. Perhaps you can use your magic to artificially create the damage so that those paintings that you like so much are not actually at risk." Good point.

"That should be easy enough. I think it's about time to make that call, so I'll get right on that after lunch."

After lunch, everyone troops to my office except of course for my parents and the children. The last thing Mara Jane needs to see is me so distraught, even if it's just an act, and the last thing we need is for Jacob to begin crying and blow our story. It doesn't take me long at all to alter the appearance of the wall behind my desk. It looks like I've been using it for target practice, divots and burns all over, paintings either damaged or severely askew. Finally satisfied with the result, I turn my attention to my own appearance. For someone who supposedly lost his mate and children three days ago, I look far too rested, happy and well fed.

When I'm finished, Thomas says, "Christ, mate, you better never lose all of us at once. You look like hell."

Dryly, I say, "Well that is rather the point, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but - geez." Looking to Dar and Pina he says something to them quickly in another language, making them both nod and respond with what sounds like a promise.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing, just something to help put my mind at ease." Wanting to know rather badly now, but also not wanting to upset him if it was something that's made him feel better, I concede in the end, though not without a mental note to talk to my friends later on.

"In fairness though," Dar says suddenly, "He really doesn't look much worse now than he did when he thought you were going to leave him and return to Earth all those years ago after that damn misunderstanding at the bar."

"All the more reason you have to keep your word" Thomas replies softly.

Satisfied that I don't look unbelievably bad, though again still wanting to know what he made them promise him, I bank my curiosity for the moment and initiate the call with the others in chairs across the room. Before it connects, I once more turn my thoughts to the frightening and upsetting ones that I had used before. "Hi, Zedd. What the-? By the hells, Zedd, what's wrong? What happened?"

Her acting skills are pretty good, I'll give her that, but mine are better. "Essa, I- I have a very special job for you and it must be done as fast as you can possibly do it. I need you to do this for me, I don't care what it takes. You owe me."

"All right, whatever it is, Zedd. Just calm down, you look like you've been through hell." Her concern sounds legitimate, and inwardly, I shake my head. How in the hell, with all my centuries of experience, did I miss her deception? "Just tell me what you need and I'll get it done, you know that."

"What I need is for you to find the person responsible for killing my mate and taking my children!"

"W-what?"

"My children, Essa. They've been taken and Thomas murdered while trying to protect them." Encouraging my power to flare up just enough, I fling my hand back behind me aiming at an empty spot on the wall. Hitting it with enough power to cause a bit of stone and debris to fly off, it of course looks like a much more powerful hit then it actually is.

"Zedd you have to calm down, you're going to end up killing yourself throwing power around like that." Sounding panicked, she holds her hands up in a soothing manner. "Just breathe, okay? It's going to be fine, everything will be fine."

"My mate is dead, Essa, and my children could be suffering a similar fate as we speak! That is not fine!"

"I'm sure they're all right, Zedd. If whoever did this wanted them dead as well they wouldn't have taken them, correct?" And that really and truly is the only small point in her favor right now, as if she had aimed to actually kill them as well with that attack, we would not be wasting time doing this, but rather already have her strung up and missing body parts.

"My son is barely a few days old, Essa, it would take nothing for him to suffer the same fate as Thomas. Please, I need help to find my children and punish the one who took them and my mate from me. Please." My tone sounds slightly begging, just as I'd intended.

"Of course I'll help you" she says instantly. "I'll start looking immediately."

"You have to keep this as quiet as you can, though. If word gets out that my children are out there somewhere…"

She and I both know what the possibilities are and, for the purpose of this call, I allow myself to acknowledge these possibilities and fears, causing me to shake harder. A small nudge from Thomas and the tears that had been gathering in my eyes break free. Not to the degree that we'd accomplished in the kitchen, but flowing nonetheless. I almost miss her next question. "When did they go missing?"

"Three days ago."

There's suspicion in her voice. "Why are you only calling me now?"

"I was injured in the attack and after finding Thomas – he was still recovering from our son's birth - my fault, shouldn't have encouraged him to carry the baby. If I'd been the one he might have survived."

"But you might not have" she points out.

"It would have been better that way." When she begins to protest, I shake my head. "It doesn't matter now, the only thing that matters is saving them."

"You should have called sooner, Zedd. Even if injured I would have started looking as soon as you told me they were missing."

"In fairness, since finding Thomas like that I've, well, been a bit out of control since then" I inform her, indicating the wall behind me. "I've barely managed not to kill Dar and Pina." On cue, Dar knocks on the door. "What the hell do you want?" I shout.

He comes in her view, having used a bit of his own magic to alter his looks to seem as if I've been taking some of my rage out on him. "The last two contacts you gave me turned up empty handed, and I've not been able to get any kind of other leads from my own people."

"Then what the hell good are you?" I growl at him.

He takes a small step back, hands up defensively. "Zedd, it's hard to get information when I have to be this careful. I want them back as much as you do, but unless you want to end up announcing the death of a power holder and the kidnapping of his and your children to the universe it's going to take some time."

I drop my head into my hands. "I know. I just - I need them home and safe, Dar. I can't do this without them. If I lose them too I- Keep working on it."

He nods and 'leaves' the room while I turn my attention back to the female. "Essa, please. I'm sure you heard that Dar's having no luck and Pina isn't either. Find my babies."

"I'll start immediately" she responds. "Just - try not to worry and take care of yourself. They don't need to come home to a sick father who can't care for them because he's ill himself."

"I'll try." It's not long after that I disconnect the call, distinctively uncomfortable with how easily and sincerely she lied to me. I look at my other companions, who all break into applause and my mate smiles at me with a hint of pride.

"Well done, kalleimat. With the supposed kidnapper in the dungeon, she won't have any leads either and she's going to get a little frantic herself soon when she thinks that he's double crossed her."

I return my appearance to normal and add a little more 'destruction' to the wall for our next conversation. Out of the blue, something occurs to me as my conversation with Essa and what Thomas said the prisoner told him as well as his last statement come together. I spin around. "Thomas, what exactly did the prisoner say when he told you what the plan was?"

He frowns as he thinks back. "He said, 'Please, I didn't know that we were coming here. We were hired to kill you and take the children. I was supposed to deliver them to the woman who was the leader's contact. She told me that the children were not to be harmed as long as I had them.' After that, he looked at you."

My eyes narrow as I can suddenly see a dozen holes in his statement. "I think we need to have another chat with him. There's more information we need." I look at Thomas. "Love are you all right enough to deal with him again?"

He nods and we all head for the dungeons. "What do you want to know, Zedd?"

"There's a lot of things, but I need you to tell me everything he says, precisely as he says it - no paraphrasing or cleaning it up because you're afraid I'll go into a rage." He opens his mouth, no doubt to object, but I cut him off. "This is no different than working a contract, Thomas. If I don't know exactly what's said, I might miss something important."

"I understand what you're saying, mate, but are you sure you can keep it together if I do?"

"I have to or we might not get all that we need."

Long before we reach the dungeon, I have to carry Thomas so that he doesn't overdo it and set back his recovery even further. He's not happy about it, but after he overdid it earlier due to my temper, I'm not about to let him do it again. I settle him on the stool again once we arrive and look at the prisoner. "How did you know that he was the one to kill if you didn't know you were coming to my home?"

Thomas translates the question and then the answer. "We were given pictures."

"Where are they now?"

"In my pocket." I nod at Dar and he approaches the prisoner. "Left jacket pocket. I was also told that he would most likely be with the children so it should be a simple matter to kill him and then take the children."

Dar pulls several sheets of paper folded together out of his jacket and opens them, eyes widening as he flips through them. Without a word, he hands them to me, eyes burning with rage as he does. I go through them quickly. Crude drawings of the layout of the castle, path to the bedroom clearly marked. Pictures of all of us except Jacob, taken on Eltar and Earth, as far as I can tell. In one of them, Mara Jane is circled in red and the one of Thomas has a large red X on it. Another one of Thomas, obviously taken from a distance, has his face crossed out and a circle on his obviously pregnant stomach. "And what were you instructed to do with the children once you had them?"

Something about his body language tells me he's being very careful with his wording when he responds, "Deliver them to the woman."

I move much closer, summoning my staff as I do. Softly, dangerously, I ask, "And what were you really going to do?"

"I didn't know they were your children! I swear it!" His panic tells me a lot, but I want him to admit to what I'm guessing his plan was. I repeat my question in the same deadly tone. He's silent long enough that I'm starting to think that Dar might have to 'convince' him to answer but then he says, "I probably would have sold them - eventually."

"Eventually?" I don't like this answer, although I'm certain that I'm going to like the explanation a lot less.

"Children fetch a lot on the black market - especially as young as those. They are easy to train to an owner's preferences for slaves or pets or - whatever." The answer makes me ill, even though I know these things happen. Truthfully, I avoided it whenever I could, finding it distasteful at best.

"And how did you plan to avoid the woman's wrath when she found out you'd done such a thing against orders?"

"I was going to disappear. It would be easy to do with that much money."

"Not as easy as you think" I tell him coldly. "You aren't the first to try and disappear to avoid my wrath."

"Again, I didn't know it was you, Lord Zedd, I swear it on all I hold dear." There it is.

"And what, exactly, does someone like you hold dear? I find it hard to believe that you are capable of such a thing." He doesn't answer, realizing too late that his plea has revealed a weakness. I spin my staff, pointed end under his chin. "What?"

"I - have a family" he admits reluctantly. "They are the reason that I am in this line of work at all."

I can sense Thomas getting more and more upset. He asks a question of his own, repeating it in English before relaying the answer. "Does the woman know about your family? I don't know." He shoots a look at me, one that the captive probably can't interpret, but I can. He doesn't want an innocent family to suffer if it can be avoided.

Taking a breath, I force myself to calm a bit. "How long have you been doing this?"

He considers for a minute. "About fifty years."

"What did you do before that?"

He answers, but Thomas looks puzzled. A couple more exchanges between them - some of them quite lengthy - and the confusion clears from my husband's face. "Sorry, I was unfamiliar with some of the words he was using. Essentially, he was an accountant for a group of wealthy families. Someone was skimming money and when he reported it, they accused him of doing it. He was able to prove it wasn't him, but one of the elder sons of one of the families. Of course, that family wanted to protect their son. They paid him a large sum of money to accept the disgrace and go away, with the promise of monthly payments to keep him quiet. He moved his family far away but the payments suddenly stopped after about ten years - about sixty years ago if I understand him correctly. They ran through the money he'd saved while he tried to find out why the payments had stopped and to get them started again. Finally, he'd had to resort to kidnapping to get any money and answers. It turned out that the son that had caused the banishment in the first place had managed to run through the family's entire stock of wealth, causing them to be unable to pay him any more. However, he'd realized that he'd pulled off the kidnapping fairly easily and - basically - became a professional kidnapper for hire."

I turn back to the man chained to the wall, both confused and angry. "Then why would you sell my children? That's not what a professional does!"

Thomas translates properly once more. "Because what she was offering was far below my usual rate and, well, I don't trust her. I might have sold them, but they'd be alive. I'm not so certain that she'd have kept them that way."

"Do you know what she wanted the children for?"

He shakes his head. "I wasn't told and I didn't ask. I assumed it was for revenge or leverage or something like that."

"How and when were you supposed to deliver them?"

"I was going to take them to a house I use for this purpose and she would contact me about transferring them later. She told me to expect to be holding them at least a week, maybe more."

By the hells, she was planning to torment me for at least a week? It's Annwyl all over again - someone who 'loves' me hurting me to get what they want. Grateful once more that Thomas isn't like that, I shove this aside as another thought resurfaces. "My son is barely a few days old. My daughter might have survived such an ordeal, but how exactly were you planning to take care of an infant?"

"As I said I have a family and have tended to my own children. I would have made certain he was cared for."

"Until you sold him to the highest bidder." Shaking my head, I've had enough for now. "We'll talk more later."

As I turn away, he speaks again. "Again, I didn't know it was you. Please don't punish my family. They are innocent."

I turn back. "Like mine?" Narrowing my eyes at him, I know he realizes the mistake in his wording quite quickly. "I may have quite the history, but my children have no blood on their hands, not to mention you did not only attempt to assassinate my mate, but also a long standing power holder." Looking to Thomas I give a nod before commanding him much as he had me the first time we had talked to our captive. "Show him, love."

"I call forth the power of the falcon." Voice calm, but firm, he quickly transforms, seeming rather pleased as our prisoner once more pales in fear.

"You know the penalty for attempting to murder a power holder outside of battle?" Giving him a smug smile, I shake my head. "You'll be lucky if you only incur my wrath should word get out."

After a few more pleas for mercy to himself and his family, I feel my amusement over the matter growing thin once more. "Not that I care, but what do they think you do for money then if they're so innocent?"

"We don't talk about it. I just go on 'business' trips from time to time."

Shaking my head, I turn away once more. "Well this is one business trip you very likely won't be returning from." We all leave and head back upstairs. I know we should be working on our regular contracts, but if we do and word gets back to Essa, it'll be a problem. Well, if I work today. If I get back to it tomorrow, I can claim I was just trying to keep busy so I didn't lose my mind if she questions me about it.

Out of the blue, Thomas says, "This is all about money for him - nothing else. That means that - for this at least - we can probably buy his loyalty. Get him to turn against her."

"That's not real professional, love. Odds are that would void any contract he's made."

"But did he make the contract with her or with the other guy?" Dar asks reasonably.

"Either way, if Tommy's right and it is about money, then highest bidder takes all" Kira puts in. "He seems like the type that it's about pride in a job well done and the money rather than the ethics."

Pina interjects, her thoughts obviously on a different track than the rest of us. "She would be the hero." We all stop and look at her strangely for a minute until we catch up with her thinking. "She would return the children to you and, I'm sure, expect you to be so grateful for their safe return-"

"That he'd do whatever she wanted since she saved and kept them from harm" Thomas finishes.

"Never mind that she obviously doesn't know about the bond" Dar adds. "If she did, she'd never have risked Zedd's life like that, not knowing what would happen to him if you did die."

My cuff goes off. A quick look tells me it's Essa and I signal the others to be quiet. "Have you found them?" I ask, eagerness clear.

"Not yet, Zedd, but I've gotten word out to some of my own contacts that I'm searching for two children that belong to a - friend - of mine. How are you doing?"

I make sure she can hear the catch in my voice. "I- don't know. I'm just sitting with Thomas before we have to take him back for burial on Earth. I have to find them, he gave his life trying to protect them - they're all I have left of him. I'm all alone."

"Don't worry, Zedd. We'll find the children and one day you can find another mate. You don't have to be alone."

"No! I can't have another mate! Don't you get it we were bonded! He was a part of me and now he's gone!"

"Then how-?" Her shock is clear.

"Am I not dead as well? I don't know, but if wasn't for the fact the children might still be alive I think I would have already followed him by my own hand."

"Zedd don't say that."

"Why, it's true. Without him all I have left is Mara Jane and Jacob, if I don't find them alive there's no point not to follow them."

"Zedd we will find them." The fear in her voice is clear and I smile slightly at the others. "Besides the fact that you aren't dead as well must mean something, right? I mean maybe the bond wasn't as strong as you thought. Maybe you two weren't meant to be."

"We were, Essa. You have no idea how much so. As for me not dying when he did, maybe because he wasn't Eltarian. We'd often wondered in the beginning if that would be the case. I just really didn't want to know - especially not like this."

"Of course not. Listen, I know I wasn't very kind to him, but I am sorry for your loss, Zedd. You shouldn't have to suffer like this. I'll let you get back to your preperations for the burial, I just wanted to let you know that I'm checking everywhere I can think of. It'll be okay."

I snarl, "Easy for you to say. My daughter saw her beloved father murdered before her eyes, Essa. There is no way in the universe that I know of that can make that okay."

"I - sorry, you're right."

"Just find them." I disconnect the call, stomach churning. That she would so easily disregard Mara Jane's trauma makes me want to kill her all the more. Not to mention that it's completely obvious that Thomas was right and getting me is her goal. Thomas puts his arms around me.

"It'll be all right, mate. Mara Jane will bounce back faster than you think. Remember, she's strong. We will make it all right."

"I think I'm going to go spend some time with the children. Come with?"

Everyone agrees and we continue on our way, even as I make a silent promise to myself. Essa will die for this.