Quicken
By: Junsui Kegasu
A/N: Not stupid enough to wait a week this time!
Disclaimer: Have I ever owned anything?
Naruto has only been gone for a few days (Iruka's definition of "enough time to adjust") but it still seems so strange. Neji, at least, is still somewhere in this building, so we all just wait on that teetering edge of hope that he'll come back. Naruto's gone forever. Supposedly. That's our very logical assumption.
In these days, my newest habit has been watching Sasuke. His attitude has also changed. If he was quiet before, he's silent now, and he doesn't complain and seem so emo anymore. Now he's just withdrawn. I'm not sure what to do about it, but I think Naruto confessed and he just doesn't know how to deal. I was lucky enough where Deidara didn't leave after confessing, and look where it got me. Maybe Sasuke and Naruto could've been like this.
"Like this" entails Deidara's newest phase: coming down here to talk, hugging me from behind, and eventually falling asleep, so I'm in his arms. The first time he did it, it was strange, the second time was nearly dreaded, but now I just feel like a human teddy bear. Slow – that's the only way to describe our screwed up little relationship, but at the same time, sometimes it can be so sweet.
Yeah, at heart, I guess I'm really just a hopeless romantic. Still, on those nights I have insomnia, it's actually a nice sensation, and on the nights when I don't, then hey, I get more pillows. Who'd complain? Honestly, he's only up on his part of the bed perhaps two times a week. Those are the days that nothing has happened. We don't have anything to talk about. You'd think there would be more of those in this place, but there really isn't.
Against my back, Deidara's chest heaves once and he sighs, warm air floating over my neck. I shiver; that's never happened before. It feels odd, but in a strange, 'I know it's going to happen again' way. At least he doesn't snore. That would be really bad. He shifts positions once, so he's snuggling into my mid-back (I don't want to know how he thinks my spine is comfortable) and his ankle catches mine, linking them - another thing that's never happened before.
I'll never say it bothers me. But I will say that I'm bothered by Gaara's leakage tonight. In his entire stay here, I've never heard Gaa-chan listening to music, and the song I'm hearing out of his headphones is rather disturbing. He knows about us, but he really doesn't care, which only adds to his mystery. One day I'll find out, hopefully, because I'm the type of person that it will bother for the rest of my life, even after I get out of here.
Anyways, as innocent as Gaa-chan is, him listening to Namie Amuro is still more than just a little disturbing, especially because it's one of those songs I'm pretty sure mainly the female population listens to. Then again, he can be a little weird – not to mention insomnia inducing for me on some nights. I can't sleep with music; people who can annoy me. Most of the time, leakage isn't what keeps me up, but there are some nights where my temperamental side wants to jab the off button of his CD player.
Today I'm not feeling particularly temperamental, just insomnia-ridden. I suppose that's good for Gaa-chan. Even if I were in one of those moods, Deidara is too comfortable to leave, so perhaps I'll drift off eventually. I hope so. Caffeine is a drug now, so they won't serve us anything caffeinated. Actually, they won't serve us anything but water. Either way, I'll have to deal with my exhaustion throughout the day if that's the case.
Naruto once told us that at the Rescue Center, they were much less strict about safety. They even gave them hot chocolate, plastic knives, and tin-foil food containers, all of which can be used as weapons. It all seems surreal to me, since I jumped straight from home to the hospital (the sterile, white hospital) and then to the shrink. I don't even remember what it's called. Perhaps Gaa-chan does, but I don't feel like disrupting him from his music, which has now changed to Miyavi, I do believe.
Why did I have to get stuck with the insane one?
The question reverberates in my mind the next morning at breakfast. It's one of those clichéd anime scenes with the frazzled, exhausted looking person sitting next to the adorable ball of energy. I honestly don't know what he's even talking about…
"And then, then, then, he just pulled down the other guy's pants and yeah…and it looked painful and it sounded kind of painful too, but I guess it wasn't 'cause he wasn't cryin' or nothin'…"
And on and on and on. That's Gaa-chan for you, however, and I'm about used to his randomness. I think he's talking about a movie, but I'm not sure. I've never heard of it. Then again, I've been here for six months and counting. Except, not counting for much longer, because as of March, I'm a free man. It's still only the beginning of January, but February is a short month.
Next to me, Deidara snickers behind his hand, obviously understanding what the hell Gaa-chan is talking about before going back to his cereal. When the younger teen finally runs out of words, the silence is a little exaggerated, so I concentrate on the sounds of chewing around me. To a normal person, it's probably gross, but it's something – anything – and I can't stand silence.
I take that back; I can stand silence, but only in Circle, because in Circle that silence has a purpose, and said purpose has yet to be broken. Once a member understands that if they talk, they'll be alone in doing so, because no one else does, it falls back into place. It's like one of those mainstream things that our society falls victim to daily, but this time, it could really cost you to be different.
Oh, but we're all different. That's why we're here, isn't it? The cynical thought leaves me just as we're going to Circle. Trudging to the room, I pass the hallway where my bedroom is wistfully, almost turning to it and trying to go to sleep. It would feel very nice at this point, and my feet actually do shift their angle until Deidara appears next to me, concern engraved in those cool, blue eyes.
"You look dead, yeah," he whispers bluntly, leaning closer lest I fall asleep standing up. I can only imagine that to him, I look as fragile as ever tenfold. He knows I haven't been sleeping well, but normally it's not so obvious.
"M'fine," I whisper back, words slurring together in a barely-coherent grunt. Deidara seems to understand, though, and backs off, only to come back and turn me around to go into the right direction.
"Circle. Not bed, yeah." He sounds like he's been here his entire life. Somewhere in the depths of my mind that I swear actually belong here it's a little calming that he speaks our vernacular now. Perhaps it's the exhaustion, however, so I just let him practically steer me to Circle. He stops when we get to the room, of course, because it may arouse some form of suspicion, but I'm too tired to really care.
It's a sign that I really need to go back to bed (not want. Need) when I don't notice change upon walking into a room. I just sit down, and Deidara follows, giving Gaara's corner a look. After quite a bit (far too long) I look over, and at first, I think that Iruka has gotten a plant.
Except plants don't look like people, normally. Then again, people don't usually look like plants, either, and he does.
At a glance, he looks all green, but if you study his skin, you can tell that it's just a bunch of green-spectrum tattoos covering most of his arms. An intricate-looking vine circles his neck as well, which is actually rather beautiful to look at. His hair is short, green, and spiked in a thousand directions. I don't think anyone here has ADD, which is good, because this kid gelled his hair so much that it glistens under the artificial lighting.
In contrast to his bright hair, his face is actually quite well toned, and he isn't so thin as some of us here, so he's neither a druggie nor a food-disorder. Cutting is my guess, because his face sports quite a lot of piercing. Piercing like that just screams masochistic to me, though Sasuke sported none. Since his arms were so tattooed, you can't tell if any scars were under there, but there isn't anything fresh and angry.
I frown in thought, trying to figure out what this rebellious teen is in for. Iruka isn't here yet, either, but we keep silence anyways, just in case. There's always a just in case, but this new person is so intriguing…
He must've just gotten here, because he's still wearing jeans (the waistband of which seem to settle midway down his thighs) and his rings, bars, and balls, which decorate his eyebrows, nose, lip, and ear from what we can see. I bet he has a few on his tongue, too. He reminds me of someone straight out of my neighborhood, obnoxiously fake, gold jewelry included.
I'm going to be in hysterics when they tell him the clothing regulations.
Next to him, Gaa-chan's eyes keep wandering. I don't think Gaa-chan's actually been to Circle, so it's certainly amusing to watch the little kid part of him freak out over something shiny. Deidara stifles a snicker when the door snaps open and Gaa-chan's gaze quickly shoots to the center, gazing at his feet and flexing his toes in his socks.
He can be so weird. I look to the front as well and can tell that Iruka looks somewhat frazzled. He clears his throat into one hand, smoothing down any stray strands of hair with the other. "Well, as I'm sure you've noticed, there's been another addition to our group," he starts, voice relatively calm. "Would you care to introduce yourself?"
Next to me, Deidara whispers nearly inaudibly, "At least he didn't include their name before telling them to introduce themselves, yeah."
"Don't really feel like it," says the green boy bitterly, inspecting a gold medallion around his neck. Iruka sighs and massages his temples.
"This is Zetsu," he said, gesturing. "He'll be with us for the time being. Now, Zetsu, if you would follow me, there are a few regulations we adhere to strictly…" he trails off, leaving the room. Sighing, the green boy stands up, chains clinking all around his legs. Gaa-chan looks fascinated.
When he leaves, we all give each other a look.
"I like him," Gaa-chan decides. "He's shiny."
He was shiny is a better term for it come lunchtime. Deidara almost chokes on his sandwich when he comes in wearing a pair of sweatpants (green, of course), a black shirt, no gel, no jewelry, and only holes in his face. Now he's just kind of scary looking and if it were Gaa-chan present rather than Bokaira, he'd probably be heartbroken.
"This really sucks," he comments, plopping down at the end of the table.
"Tell me about it," Bokaira sulks, picking tomatoes out of his sandwich. I really hope he doesn't start talking about the cracks in the ceiling again. That might scare Zetsu off.
"How do you all live like this? There ain't nothin' to do…"
No one can respond to that, because it's really something inexplicable, our plan, and he'll figure it out soon enough. "Just keep your mouth shut, yeah," Deidara suggests with a mouthful of ham.
Amongst us all, Sasuke just eats his sandwich silently. One would think he might speak up, or even add an "hn," but he's been awfully quiet. It's unnerving, really, and I think I might talk to him about it in Personal. Maybe.
"Why should I keep my mouth shut? Keepin' my mouth shut got me outta Juvie and into this joint," Zetsu complains, his own sandwich untouched. There's silence again; Naruto wasn't even in Juvie. In this city, you have to be pretty bad to get there.
When no one responds to his little outburst, the green boy sighs. "Man, I need a smoke…"
Anyone who smoked probably agrees. Anyone who didn't does too. We can't exactly say much until Personal, even finding out why he got here, so all we know is that he smoked and that he would've gone to Juvie had he spoken up in court. He can't be here for anger management, because if you're that bad to go to Juvie, they stick you in Solitary so you really don't hurt anyone.
When Zetsu speaks for the third time, it's kind of obvious he's one of those who can't stand any kind of silence. That might be a problem. "What're y'all in here for, anyways? Stabbin' your folks? Suicide?"
Bokaira stands up rather abruptly, and I look quickly for signs of Shukaku. Finding none, I'm relieved, because the angry boy really shouldn't scare off Zetsu so early. "You'll find out soon enough," he says enigmatically before walking over to throw out half his sandwich. I'm rather envious. I have to eat at least three-quarters of mine.
"The hell's that s'posed to mean?" he mutters before standing up to try to do the same. The lunch lady looks at the barely-touched sandwich and shakes her head, sending him back to the table. "Fuck," he mutters, biting into the sandwich.
"You can get away with that tomorrow," Bokaira informs him, pleased. "Then she'll know you're not anorexic."
"Brat, do I look anorexic to you?" he snaps, leaning on his elbow and sighing. Obviously he's angry, but Bokaira can't seem to tell, or he just doesn't care.
"Not really, but that doesn't really matter," he tells him, sipping at a cup of water. Zetsu merely glares and leaves it at that.
"When do I figure out what's going on around here?"
Soon enough, I think. Soon enough.
It's kind of funny how when I say "soon enough" the entire day slows to a crawl. You would think I'd stop doing it, but I'm good at repeating the same mistakes. It's like running intervals after doing lunges; those two minutes of running at a time seem to take an excruciatingly infinite amount of time, but before you know it, you're done.
"All right, what the hell is going on here?" Zetsu cries before the door even shuts completely.
…Then again, after you did the lunges and ran the intervals, there were always the abdominal muscle exercises. Just seven six-inches, nineties, flutter kicks, and push-ups seemed to be a thousand. I miss running; really, I do.
"Quiet down," Shukaku snaps, massaging his forehead.
"No, I want to know what's going on here! You're all crazy!" he screeches. "This place is horrible…they expect us to just sit there and let them make an experiment out of you!"
"That's what a shrink does," the normally shy redhead snaps. There's a flash of something vividly red beneath his fringe before the equally bright locks of hair cover it again. I think I'm seeing things. "It's not like we enjoy it."
"Well, you sure as hell don't protest!"
"Look," Deidara starts. "My birthday isn't 'till October, yeah. I plan on getting my ass out of here before then, yeah."
"You mean we only stay 'till our birthday?" Zetsu asked, seemingly bewildered. Then he breaks out into a grin, which quickly turns into a grimace. "I have to wait until May?" The statements appear to contradict each other, but no one questions it.
"No," I say, trying to keep my voice calm and seem like I'm nonchalant about the whole thing. "He turns eighteen in October. I turn eighteen in March. They can't legally hold you here after you reach that point."
All hope disappears from the green boy's face and I feel a little bad, but it needed to be said. I continue, hoping to not diminish him so much. "Keeping quiet is the easiest thing to do. Anything you say those counselors can twist to your advantage. You're right in saying Juvie would be better, but none of us did anything to get into Juvie."
He smirks a scary little fanged grin as if he's just discovered the answer to life. "Oh, I did. And damn, I'd do anything for it again."
Deidara sighs, catching on to my subliminal message. "Well, what did you do, yeah?" he tries, leaning against the wall.
Zetsu merely shrugs nonchalantly. "Sold drugs. Mostly to little kids who wanted it, but hell, if they want it, I ain't stoppin' 'em."
"…So how does that put you in a shrink, yeah?" Deidara asks, confused. "You'd go to jail for that – screw Juvie, yeah…"
"Insanity runs in the family. According to tests I never knew they did, I'm bipolar and I did the drugs too, so Ma stuck me in here 'cause it's way cheaper."
I'm wondering why it would cost money to go to Juvie or State Prison for that matter, but I don't voice my concern. "I see," is all I say.
"So what're all you in here for?" he asks, his tone the same as it was in lunch. We go around the room, answering as calmly as possible.
"Anorexia."
"Pyromaniac."
"I don't know and I don't give a fuck."
"…Cutting."
Zetsu gives Gaara a funny look. "You acted different in lunch. What the hell are you in for?"
"Multiple personality disorder," I tell him. Zetsu seems like the kind to get angry real quick if he doesn't get answers, and I don't feel like dealing with someone that violent. I knew Naruto longer so that was pretty much okay.
"You all are freaks," he mutters. "Typical. I got stuck in a real nuthouse."
Yeah, I guess he did, I think cynically. He got stuck with us. All I can hope is that Zetsu likes roller coasters and soap operas, because that's what life is over here. If he's lucky, he'll get sent to Juvie eventually, because by the looks of it, he's not badly bipolar nor is he at high risk for dying because of drug addiction. We've seen both extremes here, after all.
One can only hope.
I remember after quite a bit that I never talked to Sasuke, but as everyone breaks up to do our own thing (we have nothing more to talk about. We've practically given up hope for Neji, though he's still in the back of our minds, and Naruto is happy a free man) I have my chance. He hasn't moved from his corner and he seemed rather reluctant to talk to Zetsu. I think he only spoke up because it's part of our pact to tell people what's going on.
Walking over as discreetly as possible, I glance over my shoulder. Deidara is playing a feeble game of foosball with Shukaku, who seems to be attempting to kill the machine. Zetsu is sulking around, observing and forming conclusions, probably biased ones. Stopping about three feet in front of the dark-haired boy, I wait for acknowledgement.
He looks up eventually, but as soon as he sees me, his eyes dart back to his knees. "What do you want?"
I hate playing with people's minds, so I get right to the point. "Naruto told you, didn't he?"
"What the hell are you talking about; Naruto said nothing," he tells me snappily. Too quick, Sasuke.
"He told you," I repeat slowly, "didn't he?"
"Told me what?" he challenges, voice strong. He's good; I can barely detect the tremor he's trying to hide. It's a shame whispers don't do well for that. This is where I might have to stop, though; if he really doesn't know, then that betrays Naruto. No, I'll have to leave this for another day. For all I know, he's nervous about something else.
"Never mind," I mutter, feeling stupid. "You know what I'm talking about."
Sasuke doesn't say anything, and I'm pushed a little closer to my original conclusion. What are we going to do about this?
As I should've pictured, two hours after "lights out" this is the topic eating away at my thoughts. Sasuke is growing blatantly more distant and even though I'm really not fond of him, I feel like it's my responsibility (like everything else) to make sure the counselors don't notice it. If they notice it, we'll have lost another of our group, and I don't think I could bear that.
It seems like everything has just been twisted upside down on the track, and Neji wasn't strapped in tight enough, so he fell. The firemen saved Naruto, but the rest of us are still clinging as tightly as possible to the guardrail. Sasuke is slipping, but we can barely offer an arm to save him without falling ourselves. It's so confusing.
"Hey," Deidara's voice in my ear stops my thoughts. He's behind me again, holding me against his chest protectively. "What're you thinking about, yeah?"
Oh, if I could tell you, I would, but I promised Naruto. "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing, yeah, 'cause it's been keeping you up lately. Don't think I haven't noticed, yeah," he retorts with an edge of bitterness to his voice. I feel a cold panic wash over me.
"Look, it's really – "
"No, yeah! It's not nothing; you're always in control, yeah, but this morning you had no clue where we were going, yeah!" His outburst scares me, and then he sighs. "Whatever, yeah. I probably don't want to know." With that comment, he turns his back to me.
I think I would've preferred him molesting me.
Quicken the c o a s t e rA/N: (dodges books) DON'T KILL ME. AT LEAST I UPDATED. There are parts of this a little iffy to me, but it's been over a month…so yeah…. Oh, and Volume Thirty-Two should be up soon…watch out for it.