Review responses for the last chapter will be posted with chapter 13; I couldn't access them now, so sorry guys…not that you'll miss my ramblings either way, though. Hah.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my own characters. Anything/anyone you do not recognize belongs to me. I may use lines and/or quotes from other sources, which are not my own, later on in the story. I'm not quite sure though-so I'm being un-specific. Those (if I do choose to use them) also do not in anyway belong to me.

NOTE: I realized that I didn't put a disclaimer in chapters 10 or 11. So yeah…right now I'm….uh, disclaiming them?

Choices

Chapter 12: Riding and Interference

Lena was doing better. Not particularly well, mind you, but then again, Lena was never particularly well. She was doing well enough for the time being, however, and had even managed to convince Etta to let her ride outside.

"Only for a while!" The young woman shouted as Lena positioned herself in front of Balor on his horse. Lena gave a nod to Etta before smiling at her Woad friend in thanks. She had originally intended on making Lancelot give her a ride, but unable to find him, she had gladly settled for Balor. Perhaps it was better if she simply let the knight be. It was foolish of her to pester Lancelot anyway.

"You still have a fever." Balor stated, slight concern evident in his voice.

"Barely." Lena brushed off his comment. "It will pass soon enough."

"You know," He said more quietly, leaning closer to her, his lips barely brushing against her ear. "we need you strong now, Lena. We all do."

Lena looked at him uncertainly. He was awfully close to her. "Come off it, Balor, I'll be fine." He nodded, understanding she didn't wish to discuss her health.

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Lancelot was riding grumpily behind the sick wagon. Should he go in? Speak to her? Or stay out here? In all honestly he knew that he should go in, but he didn't think he could muster the dignity to actually do it. He sighed in frustration before kicking his horse in the side and letting out a "yah!", making it speed around the wagon.

His decision on whether or not to enter the cart was taken out of his hands at the sight that met him. Lena was already out here! Wait…why was Lena out here? She was ill, he had seen, or rather felt, first hand how high a fever she had the night before. Why was she out and about in the snow riding with Balor? More importantly, why was she riding with Balor? Lancelot watched resentfully as the Woad moved in closer to whisper something to Lena, but had to suppress a laugh at the look she gave Balor.

Stupid, un-charming Woad man…even Galahad could do better then that.

Lancelot continued to ride behind and watch the couple. Balor had remained uncomfortably close to Lena, and even had an arm wrapped protectively around her waist. Much to Lancelot's chagrin, it didn't look like Lena minded. The Woad leaned in close again, and this time Lena laughed mirthfully at whatever he had said. It was the same laugh from around the fire.

Lancelot threw a facetious smile at the back of Balor's head. Well aha ha ha, wasn't he just hysterical?

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"We'll be to the wall soon, won't we?" Lena asked, even though she already knew the answer. She was trying hard to make conversation with Balor.

"Probably in several hours." He nodded. "It won't be much longer."

"You should take the Woads from your settlement and meet up with Merlin when we arrive." She tried to make it sound like less of a command, though in actuality that's all it was.

Balor, in his usual somewhat cocky manner Lena noted, dismissed the statement. "They can meet your uncle without me. While I can," She felt his grip on her waist tighten slightly. "I would rather stay with you at the wall, I mean if it is all right by you."

"Uh…" Lena found herself at a loss for words. "…Uh…" Balor seemed to take this as her agreement to his proposal, and smiled broadly.

"Very good." Mentally, Lena scoffed. The man had always been a bit forward and smug, but it seemed he had gotten worse since they were childhood friends. Or perhaps, Lena mused, she just brought out the jackass in him. Whatever the reason was, Lena decided she didn't particularly wish to be around his sudden and not-so-subtle advances at the moment.

"Uh, yes…Well, forgive me but I'm afraid I've grown quite tired." Lena feigned fatigue in a mildly convincing manner. She knew Balor would fall for a damsel in distress routine no matter how unbelievable it was. "If you'll kindly excuse me, I believe I should return to the wagon now…don't want Etta to worry…"

"Right!" Balor slowed his horse. "You must get well as soon as possible." He gave Lena a reassuring smile, as not to worry. "We will talk again later, dear." He helped her dismount as he spoke and Lena couldn't help but crinkle her brow questioningly. Dear? "I wouldn't want your health deteriorating on my account." It took most of her control not to say anything at that, but as he led her to the wagon by the forearm, Lena managed to keep quiet.

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Lancelot continued to watch Lena and Balor with a sort of bemused jealously. Bemused, because Balor was making an idiot of himself an impressive number of times. Jealous, because no matter how much of an idiot the Woad managed to make himself, Lena was still sitting on his horse with his arm around her. The knight shook off the idea. He wasn't jealous. That strange tightening of his chest wasn't jealousy…

He was too far away to hear what they were saying, and since he was riding behind them, he wasn't even able to read their expressions. Lancelot didn't really know why he was watching the pair with such determination. Perhaps it was just the idea that if he didn't like something that happened or was about to happen he could quite easily interfere.

Interfere? What was he thinking? What right did he have to interfere with Lena's personal affairs? No matter how obtuse the people they involved were…

As the thought that Balor was not only obtuse but also every other synonym of the word flitted across Lancelot's mind, he realized that Lena had gotten down from his horse and was walking to the wagon. With Balor. He let his horse slow slightly and fall to the side of the wagon, where he could not so easily be seen. Lancelot noted with pride, however, that from his newly chosen location he had a fairly advantageous viewing position of the couple. Clever. He was so very clever like that.

Lena stood waiting to enter the wagon, and Balor said his temporary farewells. Suddenly, as Lancelot realized that Balor was stooping down in order to kiss Lena (probably nothing more than a quick peck on the cheek…but a kiss nonetheless), all the cleverness in the world didn't matter. Before he realized what he was doing, Lancelot had sped his horse around the corner of the wagon and come into full view. "Lena!" He called, startling both Woads. Balor jumped back, his attempts at kissing Lena reduced to pathetic failure. From above oh his horse, Lancelot smirked in triumph and looked down at the pair.

"Uh…yes?" Lena prodded after a moment of silence.

"Hmm, what?" Lancelot asked in return, slightly confused and still atop his horse.

"You needed me?" Lena reminded with a raised brow. She noted uncomfortably that Balor still stood beside her.

"Wha—Oh! Yes, that…" He stumbled for a second, trying to make some kind of excuse. "I—uh, I need to speak with you." He returned the look Balor was giving him. "In private."

"Now?" Lena inquired incredulously. She really was starting to get tired. The thought of sleeping under a fur in the wagon was becoming increasingly inviting. "Right now?"

"Yes, it's…very important." Lancelot stated firmly.

"Lena needs her rest." Balor interjected suddenly.

"She seemed to have no trouble riding with you." Lancelot returned. He didn't miss the look of surprise on Lena's face. Damn! Now she would know he'd been watching.

"That was different. She needs to—"

"Balor, please. If Lancelot needs to speak to me, we will speak." Lena reached up and took the hand offered by the knight as he helped her swing up into the saddle. Balor then marched off without so much as a goodbye, much like a child throwing a temper tantrum.

Lancelot cleared his throat, trying to ignore the warmth radiating off of Lena behind him.

"So," He began, not really having anything to talk about. "You two seem close."

Lena arched a brow, something she felt she'd done too many times today. "We've known each other for a very long time. Balor was a friend of Guinevere's and mine while we were children." She explained. "Our families were very…chummy, I suppose you could say. Balor comes from a very high ranking blood line among the Woads, we all ran in similar social circles."

Hearing the way she spoke about it, Lancelot realized momentarily how political Lena's life was. Friends, chummy, social circles. "That's it?" He asked a bit disbelievingly. "That is your history with Balor?" Lena didn't miss the way Lancelot spat the name.

"Well, Sir Knight," she started, feeling slightly defensive for Balor. "I do not know why you seem to be so interested in my history, as you put it, with him…or why it's of any importance, but if you really do insist on knowing, we were…gods, it sounds ridiculous just to think it…" Lena had to admit she was a little embarrassed. "We were…well I guess you would say we were childhood sweethearts."

"Oh." Lancelot felt his heart sink a little. Idiot boy was more important than he'd thought.

Lena felt guilty. Something about what she'd said seemed like it had been an insult to the knight. Without really knowing why, she tried to explain more. "It was very innocent. Really more our families' doing than our own. You know, it was very much about power politics—not entirely, but…well." Lena shook her head. This was too awkward. "So, what was it you had to discuss with me?" She inquired. Change the subject, just change the subject.

"I just wanted to know if…" He paused for a moment, thinking quickly for something to say that didn't sound completely ridiculous. "If you were feeling any better?" He finished with a smirk, satisfied with his excuse.

"You couldn't ask me that in front of Balor?"

The smirk vanished. Lancelot groaned mentally. "I suppose I could have." He answered honestly.

"Right." Did Lena sound disappointed, or was he imagining that? "Well, I'm feeling much better, thank you." Her voice took on a politeness that didn't seem to fit. "If that was all, I should be returning to the wagon." Lancelot nodded.

He should apologize, he knew. He should take the opportunity and discuss last night. But Lancelot wasn't one to discuss. It wasn't all though. The simple "are you feeling any better?" was not all. He wanted to take her by the shoulders and say that he didn't fear her, tell her that he was better than he'd shown himself to be. He wanted to tell her that he didn't mean to run from her like he did last night. Lancelot wanted her to know that it wasn't her sight that drove him away. It was his own shame and guilt and cowardice. Besides making him realize how unkind and callous his initial reaction to it had been, the sight had nothing to do with it. A tight sense of guilt once again coiled through his gut at the memory of how cold he had been to her. How angry and…better than her he had felt. Those feeling seemed impossible now, but the thought of having felt them weighed him heavier with guilt. Lancelot wanted to shake her and say that he knew she was different, but it didn't make her worse. She was different and better. Last night had nothing to do with her being worse. Last night was Lancelot the coward. And not the coward who feared her differences. Just the coward who feared her compassion in the face of his cruelty. The coward who ran from love.

Wait…love?

Love?

Lancelot watched regretfully as Lena entered the wagon. He should have said something. He should have been braver.

The knight rode forward unsteadily, feeling slightly shaken.

Love

Okay, so I'm sorry that took longer then expected. I was suddenly struck with a writers block relapse. Please Please Please tell me what you think! Reviews are very much appreciated. The end of this story will probably be in the next several chapters. I'm not sure exactly when though. I have some sequel ideas, but I don't know if anyone would actually want to read about this any further. So, tell me what you think! I'll love you forever!

Thanks guys.

Blue