ZEDD

I don't know what to say or what to do. I run my fingers through my beautiful little girl's curls. She looks up at me. "I don't know what to do, Papa."

"We'll figure it out, baby." There is no reason for her to go through any of this. She doesn't need the power. Thomas and I can take care of her and as long as we're living on Earth, she won't need it. "As she said, we don't need to decide right now."

"School's six weeks away, Papa, and we don't know how long anything she does will take. I mean, I know it'll take us about a week to get home, about a week to get ready for school. That cuts us to about a month."

"Don't worry about it. Daddy and I will talk about it and then we'll decide."

Thomas speaks. "Mara Jane, why don't you settle in by Jacob? You don't have to take a nap if you don't want to but Papa and I are going to go over there to talk and I don't want Jacob to worry if he doesn't see us right away." Like that's going to happen. He's taken to this place like a fish to water - much like Thomas.

I give Mara Jane a quick hug and so does Thomas before she goes to join her little brother. I stand up. "Where do you want to talk, Thomas?"

"Just on the far side of the clearing from them. They don't need to hear us." I follow him toward the edge. "Besides, I think it's fairly clear what we have to do."

Relief floods through me, certain that he's come to the same conclusion I have. "Well then what's the discussion for? Let's just summon Dulcea and have her seal off Mara Jane's powers and then we can go."

Looking shocked he stops dead in his tracks, turning to me fully. "Do what now?"

"Seal off her power. As you said, it's fairly clear that's what needs to be done."

"That was not what I meant. Besides, that makes no sense, Zedd." Wait, what?

"Thomas, we're living on Earth. She has no use for her powers there, not to mention the trouble they could cause. What other conclusion is there?"

"We're not going to be living on Earth forever, mate. And we can't keep her at home with us forever to protect her either."

"What is wrong with you? Why should she have to carry that burden when it just isn't necessary?"

"Zedd, she has this power naturally. It's part of who she is. Why would you take that away from her? Rob her of part of her heritage?"

Seriously? "It's not part of her heritage. It's - an infection that will eat away at her the same as it did - does me."

Thomas sighs and reaches for me, but I'm not having it. "Kalleimat, it's not the same."

I speak without thinking first. "Thomas, I love you, but you have no idea what you're talking about. And before you bring up the whole 'under evil spells' thing, it's not the same. Not even close to it."

I see a flash of anger in his eyes. "No, it's not the same, just as you and Mara Jane are not the same situation. Zedd, she was born this way. She is not evil just because she can access and use dark power. We've made sure of that. She just needs to be taught to keep her powers under control and how to use them for when she must."

How can I make him truly understand? "Thomas, that little trick she did with the dark power when she attacked Jax - it took me centuries to learn how to do that. She might very well have more power than I do and if that's the case, one day I might not be able to stop her if it's necessary." Or, in fairness, myself.

Disappointment is clearly etched into his expression. "I thought you knew better by now, Zedd. I'm disappointed in you. I thought you'd have had more faith in our children and us as parents by now. Especially after Mara Jane showed you when she was five that she was stronger than you gave her credit for. Hell, I thought you'd have more faith in me than to think that I'd do anything to hurt our children. Unless you think that I'm so power hungry that I'd do anything to get it - including risking our children, one of which I carried!" I start to say something, but he holds up his hand to stop me. "Not now, Zedd. I- I need to think."

He walks away. "Thomas!" He shakes his head, but doesn't stop.

I wander back over to the bench by the fire pit and sink down on it. That wasn't what I meant at all, but he has no idea what the power is really like. He still doesn't know how badly I wanted it, needed it when I felt Mara Jane's flare up. If it had been almost anyone but her, I could have and probably would have siphoned it off - stolen it from them, added it to my own stockpile - and wouldn't have cared a bit if they died from it.

This is my fault. I shouldn't have carried her. When we tried the first time and it didn't work, that should have told me right there that it wasn't meant to be. What hell will the rest of her life be just because I did this to her? I love her so much. So wouldn't the best thing for her be to seal off her power so that she can live a normal life? Something quiet and safe so that she can actually have a life and not have to fight for her life on a regular basis? Granted, those situations are becoming still more rare as time passes, but still…

"Papa?" I blink up at my daughter. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear or see her come up.

"What's the matter, baby?"

She takes a deep breath. "If I keep the power and wake it up or whatever, will you teach me to use it?"

I pat the bench next to me. "Talk to me, princess. Why would you want to do that?"

"Because I would never forgive myself if I had her lock it away and something happened and I couldn't protect you or Daddy or especially Jacob because the skills I do have aren't enough. We've had holders of power - of both sides - come after us before."

"Just because Eric and Wes thought a sneak attack would be funny-"

"And it was" she assures me. "Not what I meant though. I meant the time that Prince Andros had heard that you were responsible for something but you didn't know anything about it. I don't remember what it was."

What? Oh right, I'd forgotten about that. That was a setup and a half and it took forever to convince him that I'd had nothing to do with his cousin's kidnapping and, in fact, not only had turned down the job outright but warned the client up front that if they wanted to proceed, they'd be risking more than they'd bargained for because not only would Andros not stand for it, neither would Thomas nor myself. Still can't believe the idiot was stupid enough to not only find someone else to do the job, but claim that I'd arranged the whole thing, that I'd wanted it done. Even worse, managed to convince one of my people that I was too busy for it but was fine with it.

Shaking my head at the memory, I refocus on my child before me as she goes on. "I just don't want to be helpless or useless and someone I care about suffers because of it."

She sounds so much like my mate, I'm silenced for a moment. Finally, I say, "If that's what we decide, then of course I will teach you. This isn't the sort of thing that Daddy can help you with the way I can." Though it's very likely Thomas will have to help me if we do go about this. The temptation of so much raw power, so close, and so easily obtainable given her already present connection to me, he'll have to make certain I remain in control of myself while teaching her to control her abilities.

Relief is clear on her young face and she exhales heavily. "I was afraid you were going to say you wouldn't" she admits. "I know it scares you that I can do this and sometimes it scares me too. But I'd rather be able to control it instead of it controlling me."

That almost sounds like Kira talking - young but wise. Gently I press a kiss to her forehead. "We still haven't decided what to do but I think you know what you want. When Daddy comes back from his walk, we'll talk then." She nods and returns to her brother and I reconsider my own position in light of my child's words.

More than two hours later, Thomas returns, looking considerably calmer. Mara Jane is playing with her brother in the shade as he approaches me. Before I can say a word, he does. "I'm sorry, Zedd. I was completely out of line. You're right. I don't know what it's like. Only you and Mara Jane do and it's not fair for me to make a decision about something I know nothing about. I shouldn't have attacked you like I did. You and Mara Jane should decide what to do since it's her power and you know about that kind of power and you'd have to teach her if and when it would be necessary. I'll accept and support whatever decision you make. "

Before he can turn away, I pull him into my arms. "Thomas, I'm sorry too. The idea that she might go through some of the things that I did absolutely terrifies me, but leaving her unprotected is worse." I shake my head. "She's already seen more in her young life than I would have liked. When we talked about having kids, we always talked about whether or not we could protect them and take care of them. This was never anything that crossed our minds, nor how fast they might have to grow up because of the lives we lead."

"I know but honestly, even knowing what I know now, I still would want them because of what they've given us just by their existence."

I nod. "And no, you don't know about this, but that doesn't make your opinion invalid, love. And you're right, it's not the same. You said it, Dulcea said it, hell, even Zordon's hinted at it more than once. If we're going to do this, who better to lead and teach her than someone that's been through it?"

He sets his hand on my chest and I have no doubt he can feel my heart pounding under his palm. "You would be able to see problems before they happen and help her around or through them" he says softly. "I trust you. I give you hell all the time about not having faith in me or the kids, but this time it was my belief that faltered and, again, I'm sorry for that."

"It's not you and the children that I don't have faith in, Thomas." Heaving a sigh I lean my head against his. "I'm not just afraid of what she might go through, but what I might put her through should I lose myself one day. Thomas if we do this, if we let her do this, you'll have to help me keep myself. The temptation her power provides, it's…if she wasn't our child Thomas, she might not have any power left at the moment."

"I'll do whatever you need me to, however, even if you don't believe in your own strength, I do. I know you Zedd. I know there's no way you'd ever let yourself hurt our children."

He kisses me softly and heads over to the children. I watch him interact with our children for a few minutes. I sense her presence behind me. "Difficult decision, young lord?"

"You have no idea."

"Would you like to talk about it? As I have nothing to gain or lose by your decision, my opinion would be free of bias either way." I hesitate briefly although I know that she's right. "I would guess that your head and your heart are at war, aren't they?"

"Yes." Before I know it, the words spill out. "I know that, logically, the best thing to do is to unlock her power and train her to use it, but I want her to stay safe and that's not likely to happen once word gets out that she has power and can use it."

"It will take time for word to spread" Dulcea points out gently. "Not to mention that many would not attack a child, much less your child."

"Unless they think like my brother" I say unhappily. "He told Mara Jane that she and her brother were abominations and that she was just as evil as I am and that they should be destroyed."

"He lives in jealousy and fear, Zedd, much of which has turned to hate. So much so that he is unable to see what's clearly in front of him."

"Jealousy? Of what, for hells sake?"

"Of you." And she has clearly lost her mind. My disbelief must show as she goes on. "You have and have become all that he wants and wants to be. You have made some progress toward peace with your father, are a successful businessman, have a loving, bonded mate and children that adore you. Your name alone grants you respect - out of fear if nothing else - in all corners of the universe. You have friends all over space. You have gained your own wealth without the assistance of your lineage. Truly, he has none of these."

"He doesn't?" I ask, unsure if she's telling me the truth or not. But again, what would she gain by lying to me?

She shakes her head sadly. "From all that I have seen, he is truly unhappy as nothing has gone as he's planned. The treasured position at your father's side is now lost due to his deceptions and manipulations. He's not become successful in business, in fact, has now lost ground for the same reasons. His mate is not bonded to him, nor does she care for him any longer - again, due to his behavior. His indifferent attitude toward his offspring cause them to have no respect or affection for him. His name is barely known in his hometown, never mind the entire planet and even then he is 'Kerch's son' or 'Lord Zedd's brother'. His wealth is not his own. He has few that he can call 'friend'. His existence is genuinely miserable and all of it through his own doing."

"And so he blames me and puts his problems on me, Thomas and the children and takes no responsibility for any of it."

"Now you understand." I do, but I don't know how I feel about it. "However, we need to focus on your daughter, not your brother."

I sigh, pushing aside the issue of my brother to deal with later. "Thomas and Mara Jane both want her powers unlocked, I think. I'd much rather her powers be sealed off so that she can have a normal life."

Dulcea smiles, amused. "Zedd, she's the child of two power holders. She never has had, nor will she ever, have a normal life."

"Well as normal as possible then!"

"No matter if she has her powers or not, she has the ability to have a happy and successful life. The challenges she will face - some she will have regardless of power, some she will only face with power, some only without. How she reacts to the adversity will determine her future, just like with any child."

I'm silent for several minutes as I take this in. Finally, I ask, "What would you do if she was your child?"

"Not a fair question, young lord, as you know that it would be very likely that any offspring I would have would be expected to one day become guardian of the temple and the next keeper of the powers."

"Right."

"Why don't you think on it a while longer? I need to see about food for you and your family, not to mention a place to sleep. As late as it's getting, no matter what you decide, you will be unable to leave tonight."

"Thanks, Dulcea. I know I'm not your favorite person."

"You do wear on my nerves from time to time" she agrees. "However, I'm not going to let that keep me from helping your children."

She walks away, leaving me much to think about. I know that Jax will never change, never accept that I have changed. He and I have never really gotten along and I see no way or reason for that to change. I'm distracted by the laughter from my family. Apparently, the oversized feline has licked Jacob, knocking him over. And why am I over here all alone when I could be joining my family and enjoying their very existence and presence? I know what the right thing to do for Mara Jane is and, however much I don't like it, I'll do what needs to be done. Decision now made, I relax slightly although the weight of the new responsibility settles on my shoulders. Now I can only hope that it's enough.

I join my family, wrapping my arm around Thomas' shoulders and giving him a light squeeze as I smile at my daughter. They both search my face, trying I know to determine what conclusion I've come to. After a minute, they both relax. Thomas will help me train our daughter, teaching her about listening to her instincts even as I help her master her gift. We will make this all right.

A couple hours later, well fed and children more than ready for sleep, we follow Dulcea away from the plateau to the place she says we can sleep. I stop short as our accommodations come into sight. "You aren't serious."

"Did you think there would be a hotel here, young lord?" the female warrior comments, obviously amused. "Compared to what you are used to, this is a primitive planet."

"That's not even a tent!" In truth, it's little more than a sloped roof with supporting poles and sleeping mats underneath.

Thomas looks at me oddly. "Where did you think we'd go, mate?"

I fold my arms as Dulcea chuckles and walks away. "I don't camp out, Thomas."

Before he can respond, the children catch my wording and chatter excitedly about camping, remembering the trip that Jason and Thomas had talked about. They dive into the area even as my husband tells them to calm down as it's time to sleep. "Zedd, it's only for a night. What's wrong with it?"

"You aren't serious, mate. There's no bed, no hot shower for the morning and, worst of all, no coffee to wake up to. You know how I am in the morning without coffee. Don't make me level half this planet because I'm going through caffine withdrawl at sunrise. I'll do it. You know I will."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighs in exasperation. "Okay, number one, you cannot and will not level half this planet, especially when Dulcea is so kindly helping us help our children. Number two, if I can survive without coffee for one morning so can you. And number three, Zedd, it's not like you haven't done this before. I'm sure you've had many times in the past when you were on the battlefield that you didn't have those luxuries."

"Yes, hundreds of years ago. When I was still an ignorant, hateful, evil warrior trying to work my way up the ranks so I could get those luxuries. Not to mention that I've been terribly spoiled by you and Goldar in the last couple of decades. Coffee, breakfast, clean sheets, mattress, pillows - all staples of my life these days."

"Then this will do you some good" he says calmly. "Reminding you to appreciate those things when you have them. Zedd, mate, we aren't moving here. It's one night and I'm sure that you can manage. It's not ideal to me either. When I go camping properly, I have things like coffee and stuff like that, however this isn't camping it's again a needed trip to help our daughter. Besides, this will be good for the kids too because we still have more available to us than many people in the universe and I'd like them to understand that."

Is he insane? "Thomas, they don't have to experience something bad to be grateful for something good."

"Oh, so you're only grateful to have me around because of what Annwyl put you through all those centuries ago?"

"Of course not!" I protest. "If anything, I'm more grateful…" My voice trails off as I realize he's trapped me again. "I hate when you do that."

"I'll keep that in mind" he answers mildly. "Now, are you going to keep being a rude, ungrateful, spoiled brat about this or are you going to suck it up and deal for just one measly night?"

I'm fairly certain I sound pretty pathetic when I say, "Will you make it up to me later?"

"No." Damn. "But if you're a good boy, I might reward you later."

"That'll do."