---------------------------TORTALL THEATRE PRESENTS--------------------------
Chapter 2: Cousin
"Ok, everyone," called the balding man, his few remaining hairs wobbling on his scalp as he clambered onto the stage. "Welcome to the auditions for Tortall Theatre - 'Lady Knight', a new kind of fairy tale we're experimenting with in the coming month. Basically, the brief overview of the story is...
A commoner named Keladry wishes to become a Knight. At the age of twenty, she hurries off to the palace for a period of two years training. There, she meets her new comrade, who will be male - and there are several scenes where they are training and we develop Keladry's character. We then switch to a war scene. At the country's borders, the enemy is invading. Keladry becomes the commander to a group of warriors and they launch into battle. The evil leader of the enemy's troops - another major male role - kidnaps the Lady Knight. Her allies, led by the lead male role, launch into the fray to aid her. The leader of the allies realises she has been kidnapped, and ventures out over several days into enemy land where he finds her in a dungeon, kills the evil leader of the enemy troops, and frees her. And then, quite classically, they kiss and live happily ever after.
So, now the auditions will commence. We have five major roles to fill, three of which are male, and we need about twenty five extras for various roles across the story. We'll see you one by one - please pick up a sheet of lines which can be located here, and line up at the side here for your chance to shine! Thank you!"
The man hopped off the stage and dropped into a seat, Keladry on one side and some other balding men and stern-looking ladies on the other. As a tall, skinny man began spewing out the words from the sheet, I smiled wickedly.
"I am definitely getting the lead role," I informed myself. A hand on my shoulder made me jump, and I turned around.
"I don't think so, Meathead," a dark haired, blue eyed man informed me. I squinted at him.
"Dom?" Damnit, Neal! You're never going to get the lead role now!
"That's me, cousin." He gazed up to the stage and smirked at the man currently auditioning.
"Hey, why are you here? You - I... hey, this isn't fair!"
"Can't take the competition, eh?" Dom laughed while I scowled at him. "Sorry, Meathead."
"Sorry!" I cried incredulously, pushing my cousin in slight disbelief that he was actually there. "You're ruining my chances for the lead role! I want that lead role more than you do!"
"No you don't," Dom corrected me. "That Keladry is really nice. I like her." I clamped my mouth shut to avoid saying anything stupid and watched as the line of people in front of me gradually shortened.
Finally, it was my turn. I clamped the sheet of paper in my fists tightly, trying to remove the pout from the appearance of Dom from my face. What a nightmare.
"Go on," encouraged the balding man, who I now understood to be the producer and scriptwriter of the play.
"Hang on, Keladry. I'm coming to save you," I read monotonously from the sheet, thoughts like "why the hell are these lines so lame?" running through my head. "Don't worry. You'll be fine." My voice was dull and uninterested, pretty much as I'd practiced it in my head on the bus, trying to sound as bad an actor as I thought was possible. I looked up from the sheet to see the producer's reaction. His eyebrows were raised sceptically.
"Try the next set," he commanded, and I obeyed. Aha! An evil laugh! I smirked and directed all my current hate for Dom into the lines.
"MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I cackled. "You'll regret messing with me!" The producer nodded approvingly and scribbled something down on his sheet. Oh. Hang on, Neal... think here! You're going to get this evil part, and then Dom's going to get the lead role, and while you'll be pretending to be dead on the floor, he's going to be kissing her. And you'll see the whole thing. Well done, Neal. Smooth, real smooth. Well, too late to go back now. I'd still get to kidnap Keladry. I guess that would be okay - if I'm lucky, I might get some scenes alone with her. "Your forces are so weak I could push them over with my little finger! Muahahaha!"
One of the ladies sat with the producer rewarded me with a wide, toothy grin and gestured for me to get off the stage. Dom clambered up and I noticed with complete disgust that he didn't have a sheet. He'd memorised the lines!
"Hang on, Keladry!" he cried in an incredibly false hero's voice, each word echoing through the theatre. I grinded my teeth together to try and drown out his voice. "I'm coming to saaaave you!" I swear, Dom should try doing a voice-over for one of these cartoons - he could do one called She-man. "Don't worry, you'll be ffiiiinnee," he said, flashing his sparkling teeth. Half the women in the room were about to faint from his "manly charm". My eyes searched out Keladry, and I was happy to find her face was blank. AND she was completely conscious and alert. Unaffected from Dom's idiotic womaniser acts. Good - maybe she was completely immune. Well, I don't think anyone's immune to that rubbish Dom spews out. Hah, in my dreams.
I'd do anything to make some sort of vaccination against it. I'm a doctor, you see - I could always bribe the scientists to make some immu-womaniser jab or something. Yeah. If I can't sleep tonight, I'll just think about that, and maybe my dreams will be sweet with the nectar of victory against Dom.
I walked down one of the aisles to take a seat at the back, trying to keep my head held high as though I'd actually been proud of myself and wanted that role. I think that just deserved an Oscar in itself - a few of the others were watching me with beady eyes, almost as if they were watching me for tips on good acting. I resisted the temptation to scream at Dom, who was now making a superhero pose on the stage, and slid into a seat.
No matter how hard I tried, I found my gaze being pulled towards Dom. He hopped off the stage, his weight on one arm (stupid bodybuilder show-off) and walked up to Keladry. No, Dom, what the HELL are you doing!
"So... what did you think?" he asked. I could just catch his words, and could clearly hear the cockiness in his voice.
"Not bad," came Keladry's reply. Ok, hang on, that's either an insult, a compliment, or it's her flirting with him. Please, please, please tell me it's an insult. Her voice was plain and used little emphasis, and the same could be applied to her face: it was difficult to tell what emotions she was feeling.
"I hope that's a compliment," Dom said slyly, showing off his grin again. I could almost picture Keladry fainting into his arms.
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't," she replied simply, turning away and lifting a water bottle from her seat. A faint frown crossed Dom's face.
"Well, it'd be nice if I was working with you. If you don't mind, I think I'll go see my cousin..." Yeah, Dom. Great comeback.
"Wait, that's your cousin?"
Dom nodded.
I saw a look of amusement play over her face for a moment, then it disappeared and she turned away. I felt sure she'd known I was eavesdropping on them - I'd tried really hard to look like I was idly daydreaming but my acting skills really aren't that great. I really don't have a clue what I'm doing now, but maybe if I'm lucky I'll be able to quit my part (if I get it, of course).
When Kel didn't elaborate, Dom gave a half-hearted wave and approached my seat. I had to fight hard to keep a smirk from my face.
"Nice acting, Neal," Dom said, sinking into a seat beside me.
"Yeah. I would say the same about you, but you're only going to get the lead because of lack of competition."
"So much for supporting your relatives, eh?"
I quietly grumbled something about stealing my role, but Dom didn't hear. It was just as well - Dom works in a gym, and would pound me to a pulp with no hesitation. Not even my superior intellect would be able to stop him. He has arms like pistons, I'm telling you. My muscles don't quite compare - I used to go to the gym for a workout every once in a while but that was before he started stealing all my stuff - my girls, my roles, my jokes. Ok, I made that bit up - it's just... heh, he kind of has this nickname for me and he kept using it in the gym. It was so embarrassing... and then, coincidentally, my work as a doctor became a lot more hectic, taking up loads of my time. Suddenly, I couldn't spare the time at the gym anymore. (But I still get a workout at the doctor's practice - squeezing those syringes is pretty hard work).
So, anyway, I remained in my seat as the rest of the hopeless idiots auditioned. There were a few guys who really weren't that bad. I guess if they get the other major roles, and I really do get some scenes alone with Kel, maybe I will stay on. It'd certainly be an experience, if not a disaster. I pretended not to hear Dom when he tried to make conversation, and when he started droning on about something to do with acting (probably boasting about his stupid "talent") I looked at my wristwatch and put on a panicked face.
"Oh no, my bus is going to be here in ten minutes!" I cried dramatically.
"What! You can't leave, I need some support so I can go back and talk to Kel!" he said, obviously panicking. I smirked inside (who said I was bad at acting? I convinced Dom...) and just shrugged.
"I'm sure you can do that on your own," I informed him curtly, picking up my coat. I headed over to the producer, who was watching the last young woman auditioning for a part. "Hello, Mr..."
"Brown," he replied, his eyes examining me down his short, plump nose.
"I'm sorry, Mr Brown, but I need to leave. Might I ask when we will find out who has got a role?" I said in my politest tone.
"We will call you," he answered, brandishing a pen and paper. "We'll need your phone number, Mr..."
"Oh, please, just call me Neal," I told him. I scribbled out my phone number with a slight flourish and signed my name. "Well, it was nice meeting you, Mr Brown. I look forward to hearing from you."
And with that, I turned and began to walk down the aisle. A hazel flash caught my eye: it was Kel, getting up from her seat. She watched me go, eyes carefully locked onto the back of my head until I ignored Dom's wave and slipped out the door.