---------------------------TORTALL THEATRE PRESENTS--------------------------
Chapter 3: Doomed
The phone was ringing. Not Cleon again... he'd already phoned me about ten times asking how the audition went. Just one more word from his stupid gloating mouth and it was quite possible I'd be marching right over to his house, ripping all his horribly red hair straight out his head and feeding it to him.
"Cleon, for God's sake, just stop phoning me up! I'm sick of your -"
"Um," came a tiny squeal. I stopped, letting out a huge breath I'd taken ready to insult Cleon to death, and realised that wasn't Cleon's squeal at all.
"Oh, uhm, I'm so sorry... I thought you were my friend..."
"Uh... is this Mr Queenscove?" the voice inquired.
"Yes, it is. And may I ask who this is?" (I tried not to sound cold, but it was a little hard. After mine and Yuki's engagement crumbled, several of her friends rang to patronise and insult me and I didn't quite understand why, nor did I particularly enjoy it. And those were the last calls from females that I'd had, and I had always suspected that the next female to ring me would be another of Yuki's cronies...)
"Um, this is Mariah Johnson. I'm Mr Brown's assistant - I'm calling to tell you -"
"Hang on - who the hell is Mr Brown!" I asked, extremely confused. I'm always under-informed so I ask these kinds of questions quite a lot.
There was a short silence on the other end of the line as if she was just pausing to consider how rude I was. "Uh, Mr Brown is the scriptwriter and, uh, producer of the play you auditioned for last week. Don't you remember?"
Of course I remember. How could I forget? Forced into an audition for some stupid fake play by my bumbling oaf of a friend who literally abandoned me to the merciless claws of my stupid and incredibly charming cousin, my ego was trampled over and over, I completely ruined my audition and met one extremely interesting woman all in one ridiculous day. When I'm old and wrinkly, I'm sure that will be the most memorable day of my entire life. No matter how much my brain cells atrophy that will be a day I'll never forget.
"Oh, yes, I'm sorry. It's a little too early for my brain to be functioning properly," I said, attempting a comeback.
"Um, Mr Queenscove? It's 2PM."
I chuckled nervously into the telephone. Quickly, Queenscove, think of something! "Uh, I had a late shift at work..."
"Oh!" Mariah said, with a sharp intake of breath. "I'm ever so sorry, did I ring at a bad time?"
"No, not at all. Please, carry on."
She sounded a bit unsure, but she continued anyway. "Well, I'm sure you'll be pleased to hear you've been assigned the role of Count Maggur and there's..." She stopped short, pausing for a moment, and then said, "Count Maggur is the evil leader of the enemy's troops." I gaped at the receiver for a moment - how on earth did this woman know I was about to ask who this Maggur person was? Telepathy! Oh, wow! "There's a cast meeting on Sunday morning, 9pm, at the Tortall Theatre. We're going to be handing out the scripts and taking costume measurements, things like that."
"Very good," I said.
"Uh, yes. Well, is that okay with you? You aren't working on Sunday, are you? Because, you see, we ask for complete commitment from our actors and if they can't turn up then we'll have to let them go."
Ok, Neal, last chance to duck out. I mean, once you get the script and start learning the lines and have a costume made in your size, you can't just abandon the play. That would be downright mean. Being a doctor could be a good excuse - "Oh, I'm ever so sorry. I don't think I'll be able to take the role, then. My work as a doctor is very demanding and we're understaffed at the clinic already. Perhaps you could offer the role to some other person. I'm not sure they'd be able to reach my standards, but, well, my work is very important to me and I could never..."
"Oh, no, that's fine! Commitment is not a problem with me." (Well, it is if some of my relationships are anything to go by. But hey, I'm a busy man! I don't always have time for that sort of thing!)
"Well, we'll see you on Sunday, then! Thank you very much, Mr Queenscove."
"Yup, see you then!" I said, realising too late that it was kind of rude, and hung up. I'd considered saying something like, "No, thank you," but it sounded so corny that I decided against it. It sounded like the sort of thing Dom might say, and I will never sink to his level.
Right. So, anyway, Dom aside (I wonder if he got the lead role?), I have to go to an audition on Sunday. And I need to impress Keladry. I need to avoid complete humiliation at the hands of my cousin, or, for that matter, anyone else... God, I'm going to need a briefcase of cue cards so I'll always know when to say something slick and I'll need an entire makeover. Which certainly will not be on my To Do list anytime soon - I guess we'll just have to hope I wake up a different man on Sunday morning.
The day I received the call was Tuesday. The remaining days before the audition flew by when I thought of the monstrous being that is my cousin, and inched past at snails' pace when I thought of Kel. I set my alarm for 7.30am on Saturday night, and dropped into my bed quite happily.
I woke up. And - I looked myself over - no, I was not a different man. I was, evidently, doomed. I showered and slung some jeans and a slightly wrinkled shirt on, ate some burnt toast slathered in butter and tried to find my shoes beneath the mess in my room (yes, boys and girls, this is bachelordom). Finally, convinced I would not turn into a different man if I waited another five minutes, I hopped into my little car and shoved the keys in the ignition.
Ok, Dom, evil cousin-being, Count Maggur is coming to slay you. Tortall Theatre, here I come!
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I can't actually apologise enough for not updating for so long! And then I do and it's about as long as my fingernail (wow! That's one long fingernail!)... ugh, sorry. I know this is short but I was just trying to get back to grip with writing modern, first-person, which I certainly haven't done in a long, long time. However, I did have a lot of fun with this, so I should be updating soon, I hope. Thank you all so much for your reviews! I hope that some people will still read after this really long unannounced hiatus.