Hello all! I'M SOOOOOOOO SORRY! PLEEEEASE FORGIVE MEEEE! I just couldn't write this... All of my other series (Why Cupid Isn't Allowed In Pubs Anymore, to be exact) are on hiatus till chapter five of this to make up for the extra long time! I'M SOOOOO SORRY!
REVIEWAH WORSHIP!
Mizuki hikari: Will do! XD
MewMewVanilla Thanks thanks thanks! .
Kikyo's killer: Roy here. Three words. Short and sweet. Isn't that right, shnoogy wuggums?
Ed: If you didn't give the best damn blow job in Central, I'd kill you right now.
Roy: YOU'RE JUST USING ME FOR SEX, AREN'T YOU?
Greedy Ed: Not only did Greedy Ed give a nice review, SHE GAVE ME THE LINK TO THAT PIC! I probably still have it somewhere... But anyway, in exchange for your awesomeness, you get a plushie of Fuery and Havoc making out as cat chimeras. -drool- And that reminds me of something, so I'll just skip ahead to:
Neo Diji: You get the same plushie just for planting that image in my mind. And you get a plushie of chibi Roy wearing a shirt that reads: HUGGALICIOUS. -chee!-
Eds Lover: Thanks!
Invader-Nehima: You gave a nice review, but my psychic powers sense that you like Invader Zim and Negima. Am I right? Huh, huh?
galliechan: Yup! I stole your thunder. MUAHAHAHA! -stolen thunder crashes-
Discalaimer: See Prologue. I will not own FMA for the duration of this fic, kay?
Unfortunately, the whole thing was not a dream, and I was not in my own bed when I woke from my swoon. Or, better yet, someone else's bed. P'raps... Shayla? No, she swore in court under oath that she'd never date me again. Eliza? If she saw me across a crowded square, she'd follow me just to give me a good kick in the balls...
I apologize if I sound a tad delirious. Running ten miles with no water can do that to ya. My head hurts so badly right now, but my 'new and improved' muscles don't feel a thing. Damned alchemist. Apparently I'm his 'best creation yet,' so he's been testing me harder than any of the others. Bastard forgot to make me resistant to water loss... I'd rather not get a hangover without at least having the pleasure of being drunk first.
But I'll back up a bit. When I woke up, Reptilo was pressing against the side of the cage on his knees. "Mister! Mister! Are you okay?"
I moaned. "Yeah, kid. Do me a favor, leave me in my agony, kay?"
Dracono-child narrowed his eyes and spat out, "Kid yerself! I'm forty fucking years old!"
I lifted my head, and regretted it instantly. Putting my head down, I said, "Yeah, and I'm the Fuhrer's daughter. Come on, you're no taller than..." Ed... aha... he'd kill me for that...
He raised a scaly eyebrow. "No taller than you yourself? Get on your knees, if you're well enough to."
More and more memories of my day were surfacing in my mind, and suddenly, I believed the kid.
As it turned out, the kid was indeed older than me. His name was West. He was an alchemist himself, and he had studied chimeric theory pretty heavily. Apparently, chimeras were usually more successful if both of the subjects were in adolescence or infancy, those being the stages of life when the most change was occurring in the body, and when the body would be most able to deal with changes in structure. This alchemist was taking it a step further: he was taking subjects of any age and turning back the body's 'clock' so that they would survive the transformation.
Soon after that, I was chloroformed and taken for my first test. When I woke up, I had a body temperature monitor strapped onto my chest.
Then, that BASTARD dropped me in ice water.
I had never really noticed how water gets into nooks and crannies and freezes your entire body, then soggifies you so you can't get warm again. And, for some reason, it made my face hurt.
Well, apparently, that was because I had WHISKERS...
God, I must be so cute, it's sickening.
I met some of my other fellow captives. Ashley, a great blue heron chimera, I had met before. I nearly didn't survive that encounter. Ironically enough, that bastard alchemist saved my ass.
None of us knew his name, so that was what we called him. To his face. I'm not sure he realized we could talk.
I haven't been myself these last couple of days...
Some of the time, I'll be manically cheerful and optimistic, and be cracking jokes all the time, and then a couple of minutes later, I'll start acting like Fullmetal minus caffeine, and then I'll come close to crying. And the worst part is, I know I'm having irrational mood swings, but I can't stop it. It's the puberty thing, I know it. Fortunately, I've had perfect skin all my life, so I don't have to worry about acne; which promotes me, I guess, from 'freak' to 'shotacon pinup.' Not that I have all that extensive knowledge of those. Oh dear lord, no.
Each of us test subjects made a promise to the rest. If any of us escape, they MUST come back for the rest. Promise?
That's a promise I have to keep. I'm slowly going insane in this fractured, dystopic life, and I've only been here a week. My thoughts are already scattered with the wind, disconnected, horrific, like this place I'm trapped in. I will escape...
:and it ends:
A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! So supportive...
MP: So nice...
Me: Exac...! hey...
MP: But seriously. This isn't a narrative. It's a list of thoughts with less and less coherence as it goes on.
Me: Actually, I was hoping you'd say that. Read the last paragraph again. It's supposed to express Roy's shrinking sanity.
Roy: Thanks a lot...
Me: -squee!- -glomps chuu- YOU'RE SO KYUUUUTE!
Ed: -clap- -slap- -spikes- MINE!