TOMMY - SOME TIME LATER

Zedd and I are in the kitchen getting a late snack. We've not said a lot to each other of any real substance since he had me. I know he still feels badly about hurting me, no matter how much it actually helped. I also know that he wants to ask about it, but he's afraid to. He speaks suddenly. "I - don't understand why that actually helps you. I mean, I know you said it makes you feel something other than scared and worthless."

"There is more to it than that" I answer softly. "Do you remember the night after you came home from the hospital and you found me crying in the office? When Pina gave me the shot for my hormones?" He nods. "You asked me if you were the first male I'd mated with fully and I said you were." He nods again. "Zedd, you are the first and only male I've ever mated with. When I have those attacks, I need you to have me like that because, well, because it's ours and no one else's."

"But it hurts you."

I nod and take a breath. My gaze drops to my cup. "You've asked me before why so I've given it a lot of thought over the years. The best way I can think of to say it is that it's a physical representation of our relationship. You are the only one who has ever had me like that. Nobody, Zedd, has ever touched me - heart, soul and body - the way you have and do everyday. It anchors me to the present and pulls me completely away from the horrors of the past. It's too late tonight to get into the whole thing, but- While I was in rehab, they had me drugged up so I couldn't fight them. In that state, it was very easy to drill it into me that I was so useless and such a waste that nobody wanted anything to do with me. I couldn't fight, couldn't do anything to help myself, couldn't do anything to stop them. You saved me in more ways than you know, kalleimat, by your timely arrival and rescue."

There's no response and the bond is curiously blank. I risk a glance at him, almost afraid of what I'll see. The stunned look on his face explains quite a bit. Before he can get himself together enough to respond, I hear Kira's car pull into the driveway. "We'll have to continue this another time" I murmur.

Still dazed, he nods. It's not long before I hear the front door open. Just as I'm about to call out to let them know we're in the kitchen, I hear Kira. "Serena, I'm sorry."

"You know, I've tried to be understanding about this, but I just don't get it, Kira. Please just give me a straight answer. Why?"

"Things don't work here the same way they do on other planets."

"That part I understand. I think it's insane, but I understand that. This planet is very young yet. But I'm not talking about or worried about the whole planet."

"No, I know that, but-"

Serena's voice becomes small and hurt, causing Zedd's protective nature to flare up. "Is it me?"

There's silence for a minute before Kira's reluctant reply. "Partly."

Before I can stop him, Zedd's on his feet and moving for the other room. Oh hell. I head out behind him as Kira continues. "But not for the reason you think."

"What's going on?" Zedd demands the moment he's in the same room. The two females stare each other down as we wait for a response. Zedd opens his mouth, no doubt to demand an answer, but Kira holds up her hand to stop him.

"Serena, please don't take this the wrong way, but even with the powers extending my lifespan, it'll still come nowhere near what yours already has been and will be. I'm just - a blip on your existential radar."

"So what?"

"So what's essentially a fling for you is the length of my entire life!"

"That doesn't mean-"

In frustration, Kira blurts out, "I've never been with anybody like that!"

Silence falls once more before Serena says softly, "All the more reason to make the most of it all while you can. You should be enjoying your life and self while you can. Why do you continue to hold yourself back and restrain yourself?"

"Because I'm technically still an active Ranger! If the rumors are true, there's evil headed this way and I could be called back to full duty at any time!"

I exchange a surprised look with Zedd. I haven't heard anything about a new threat headed for this planet. I mean, I know that they've already started building SPD, but it's been necessary with all the different life forms that have been coming here seeking refuge. I return my attention to the present as Serena responds.

"And you may never be called back. Look, I am not my brother. While I find it fairly easy to tell off a few society idiots, bucking our customs and entire social structure is not something I can do as easily."

"What?"

"According to our customs, Zeddic should have introduced Tommy to my parents and been courting him for a hundred years - at least - before they even mated, never mind married. I realize that there were extenuating circumstances, but still for him to completely ignore the way he was raised took courage."

"They're bonded! Not to mention that, when they started their relationship, Tommy was still human and, if I remember correctly, carrying no active powers and probably a third of the way through a human's possible lifespan!" Thanks for making me sound older than dirt.

"Which has nothing to do with this."

"It has everything to do with this! I'm older now than he was then! Best case scenario, I've got maybe sixty years left!"

Serena sighs. "Kira, angel, you are making way too big of a deal about the age and lifespan thing. What's that saying you humans have? Age is just a number?"

Quick as lightning, hurt flashes across Kira's face. "That's only part of the problem, Serena."

I'm fairly certain I know what the problem is, in spite of neither of them saying anything flat out. "Her point is that she doesn't have time for the usual standards of your species, Serena" I cut in.

For the first time, Serena takes notice of us both. "Zeddic-"

"What's wrong?" he demands again.

Serena looks at Kira again before caving to the situation and I get the feeling this isn't the first time. "Never mind. Nothing's wrong. I'm just - tired."

Head bowed and shoulders slumped, she leaves the room. She's barely up the stairs before Zedd turns on Kira. "Kira-"

The Yellow Ranger throws up her hands. "It doesn't matter. Neither one of us can give in, so it's a stalemate. The moment one of us concedes, they're going to be unhappy."

"Well, it sounds like Serena's let something go - a lot."

"Oh for hells sake" I interrupt. "Let's cut to the chase, shall we? Are you two dating or what?"

"Kind of" she admits reluctantly. "Serena wants to move to actual courting and telling everybody."

"You do realize that there's very little difference between your human dating and Eltarian courting" Zedd points out.

"Yeah, only about a hundred years or so."

"Kira, exceptions are made when species with shorter life spans are involved."

"Even so we have no idea how long I'll actually live! And what happens if I give up or lose the powers? Then what?" She shakes her head. "I should have thought this through better."

Quietly I say to Zedd, "Mate, go see to your sister for now. I'll talk to Kira and then we'll switch in a bit if necessary." He hesitates before doing as I suggested. I turn back to Kira. "Come on. Let's talk in the kitchen."

She follows, protesting weakly. "Tommy, this really isn't necessary. I know what I have to do. I'm just too weak to do it."

"Sit." Tone brooking no argument, I get her a drink before sitting gingerly myself. "Now-"

"Did you have another flashback? Are you okay?"

I grit my teeth for a minute before I put on my teacher tone. "Yes, yes and quit changing the subject. I'm going to ask you some questions and I expect you to give me honest answers. Clear?"

"I- Yes." Good answer.

"Do you care about Serena?"

Her gaze drops to her hands. "Yes."

"Do you want to be with her?" She nods. "Is she the one you've been seeing on the sly for a while now?" She reddens but nods again. "Have you considered checking with anyone to see what affect the powers will have on your lifespan?"

"I did talk to Zordon a bit, but he couldn't give me a straight answer. Apparently because these gems are raw power and I'm a human, not to mention the human construction of the morpher - as opposed to Eltarian - he has no idea. The gist I got from it was that he's rather amazed that I and the boys have held up as long and as well as we have."

God, he's an ass. Zedd's right. Sometimes Zordon's more trouble than he's worth. "Okay, so he was no help whatsoever. Why didn't you ask me or Hayley or even Jason? Even if we don't know the answer, we could certainly have helped you find one."

"Because I wasn't really telling anybody that I was seeing someone seriously. I kind of always made it sound like a fling because - stupid as it sounds - I liked the idea of keeping it a secret."

I nod after a moment's thought. "It's more exciting that way."

"Exactly! Not to mention I wasn't really sure how Zedd would react."

"He is rather protective of her" I agree. "But he's pretty protective of you too." She shrugs. "Does she make you happy?"

"Until I start thinking about the whole situation, yes. Once I start to think about it, I realize that we probably shouldn't have gotten together. Like I said, between being an active Ranger and having such a short life, it's not fair to her."

I grin hugely. "Oh, man. You have got it bad, don't you?"

"What?" She looks at me, startled for a moment. "Crap." Her head hits the table with a loud thunk. "Tommy, what do I do now? She's going to get hurt no matter what I do!"

"Well, what do you want to do? And I don't need graphic details, thank you" I tease.

She shoots me an evil look out of the corner of her eye. "Really?"

"No, I really don't. Inasmuch as I think of you as my little sister these days, I don't really want to have to think about - that."

She raises her head, exasperation now dominating her expression. "You've been hanging around Eltarians too long."

I shrug. "Being straightforward has it's benefits. Besides, I'm still fairly reserved compared to them. Quite frankly, if it were Zedd in here right now, he'd probably be asking how far you two have gone and what did you mean when you said that you hadn't been with anybody 'like that'."

I'm pretty positive I know what she meant, but it's fun to bait her a bit. Now I see why Dar did it to me so much in the beginning of my relationship with Zedd. She slumps in her chair. "You're probably right."

"Back to the question - what do you want to do?"

She shrugs. "See the problem with trying to figure that out is since I've never tried being with a female before. I do feel something for her, but I don't know exactly what it is. I could be reading more into it than I should."

"I'm going to stop you right there. If you'd said that almost any other way differently, I wouldn't question it. However, I will tell you from my own experience, if you're in love with someone, gender is completely irrelevant. If you'd said you were - I don't know - curious or something like that, okay. But, Kira, if you love her then you do regardless of her gender, not because of it. Why do you think they say that love is blind? The heart has no eyes - it just feels."

"You're not making this any easier."

"Yes, I am. You're just holding on to too much crap and using that as an excuse to keep her at a distance. Either you want to be with her or you don't. All the rest is just clutter in your way."

"Well, well - hasn't someone become an expert in the last twenty years" she snaps.

"Nope. It's just a whole lot easier to solve someone else's problems than your own. No different, really, than when you came storming in here less than a week ago and called me on my own bullshit."

"I guess so."

"Tell me about it. Not details, of course. Just in general."

"It's - scary and wonderful and weird and - and…"

"And makes you want to run away and hold on tight at the same time" I say softly. "Doesn't it?"

"Yes. How did you- Zedd?"

I can't help but smile in a way that says everything. "If it's even half of what Zedd and I have, it'll be worth it, Kira."

"But what if it ends badly? I don't want to lose you and Zedd."

"Unless you do something incredibly stupid and callous and absolutely unfixable, you aren't going to lose me. I'm not going to speak for Zedd, but he's probably saying something similar to his sister. Either way, I'm not going to make any decisions about what I'm going to do for sure unless it happens."

She sits quietly for a minute. "I'm afraid" she admits finally. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Why, Kira, I'm surprised at you. I know I taught you about proper researching."

"Is that what you did?" she shoots back.

"You betcha" I agree calmly, much to her surprise. "When your mate is from a planet that has no reservations, sexually speaking, you'd be surprised what you can dig up. And a word of advice - start your research on Earth. At least then you'll have a solid grounding of the basics before you get into the really advanced stuff."