ZEDD - THE NEXT MORNING

I don't know what Thomas said to Kira last night, but apparently it helped, as she and Serena are talking in the backyard. The kids will be home in a while, but I still have a bit more time with my mate. Almost as if my thoughts conjured him up, Thomas comes into the kitchen and refills his coffee. Unhappily, I note that he's still moving a bit more slowly and uncomfortably than usual. I still don't like the idea that hurting him somehow helps him. He did clarify it more once we went to bed, though. It's not the actual pain, just the more aggressive style than we, supposedly, usually use.

"Again, mate, it's because it's you more than anything. Not to mention that you taking me like that I'm more apt to just let go and enjoy it instead of my usual habit of making sure you're cared for first" he'd explained calmly, although he'd blushed fiercely at the time.

"Is that why you enjoyed that little role playing game I recall?"

"You'll have to be a bit more specific mate, we've played a couple 'games' over the years."

"You were my captive, you wore a white ninja style garment and I was pretending to be evil."

Blushing once more, but clearly recalling what I'm referring to if the spike in pheromones I'm smelling is any indication, he gives a nod. "That was fun, and yes I suppose partly why I liked it so much was that I could just let go and have you take charge. Mind you it's not something I want to do all the time as I like how we balance each other in our mating, but sometimes I like when you dominate so to speak."

He presses a quick kiss to my temple before sitting carefully across from me. "How're things going out there?" he asks with a nod at the back door.

"So far, so good it seems."

"How are you taking this, mate?"

I shrug. "I don't wish to see either of them hurt, but I feel that if they try, they can make this work fairly well, much as we seem to have."

Thomas sighs. "I called Zordon and he really has no idea about how long Kira's going to live with the powers, nor what'll happen to her if and when she gives them up. He did confirm, however, that there is evil headed this way, but we still have a few years. We're going to have to figure out if we're going to stay here or not. I'm really not keen on the idea of either side trying to recruit either one of us."

Leaving Thomas and the children to go back to the battlefield? Like hell! "I'm more than happy to stay the hell out of it, Thomas. Let the new evil have its own failures without me, thank you very much."

He nods. "That's what I thought you'd say." At my curious look, he elaborates. "Not long before I had Jacob, you said that you were happier than you'd ever been and giving up your old life was a very small price to pay for it."

Even lacking so many years of my memories, I can still certainly see the truth in the statement. "Makes sense" I agree. "Especially if my reasons for choosing my old life back then were that I was so unhappy and lonely at the time."

"You're not now."

"No. In truth even if I could recall nothing up to the time I woke up in the hospital I still feel confident in saying I'd have no desire to leave you and our children for such foolishness. From what I can recall, Thomas, I didn't start out in that life wanting to make a name for myself. I started out because I felt like no one wanted me and that I didn't belong anywhere."

Making a thoughtful noise he give a nod. "That sort of makes something we talked about before make a lot more sense actually."

"What's that?"

"I asked you once why you were so obsessed with pleasing Dark Spectre. I thought at first it was because he supplied your dark power and like any addiction you did what you could not to be cut off. However you told me that he had nothing to do with your power that was something you learned to acquire on your own. Then I questioned if he was perhaps someone you were romantically infatuated with and that was your way of trying to get him to notice and take more interest in you, you again nixed that idea with a question of if I was feeling all right."

"And?"

"And, in the end you never could tell me why. You said you just felt you had to be the best, and it bothered you that he never seemed satisfied with what you did. However hearing you explain your reasons now for even going that route, Annwyl aside, I think it might have just been your need to have someone, anyone, tell you that you matter and that you do belong." Sighing and standing up, he passes by me, pressing a kiss to my temple before retrieving more coffee. "You do matter Zedd, you said I meant the world to you, well you mean the world to me as well, and because you do, you belong with me and the kids. We wouldn't be whole without you, mate."

A sense of contentment fills me along with a good dose of happiness. "I'm glad you think so."

"Trust me, Zedd, I don't think so, I know so. Those few days you were in your coma were the worst days of my life and I'll remind you I've nearly been killed over a couple dozen times before. However the thought that we might lose you..." Trailing off and shaking his head, he quickly forces away his terror that I start to feel through the bond. "Anyways, I guess I shouldn't have worried so much. You told me once that you felt a saying we have on Earth fit you very well and that I'd never lose you because of it."

"Oh? What's that?"

"I'll never die because heaven doesn't want me, and hell is afraid I'll take over." Thinking this over and smiling slightly as I suppose I could see that given my past, or what I can already recall of it, I give a nod.

"Sounds about right. Oh, I had something I wanted to ask you about that has nothing directly to do with this."

"Sure, what?"

"You know how some of my memories are coming back? How some are just there when I need them, some I'm actually remembering like they happened and some are coming back as dreams?"

He nods. "Right and sometimes you're having a hard time telling which ones are dreams and which ones are real memories."

"Yes. Well, I had a bit of a dream last night that I'm fairly sure is actually a memory, but I have no contextual references to prove it or to link it to."

"What was it?"

"It was you, but you were upset. You were naked, standing next to a bed with your eyes shut and you had a huge lump on your head. You said, 'Zedd, I…I'll explain later, just please, promise me. I'll let you do whatever you want to me for a whole week without complaining or arguing if you'll just promise!'. Was that real?"

His breath catches. "Yes, that was real" he says slowly. "That was actually right around the time we roleplayed where you were the villian and I was your captive. When I wore the white ninja style costume."

"That wasn't-"

"No, that wasn't related to the other matter. We actually played and mated before I got hurt and made that promise." Well that's a slight relief at least. Still though-

"What the hell was so important that you offered that in exchange? Did you explain? Did I promise? And please tell me that I've never called that offer in."

Thomas reclaims his seat and takes a breath. "I haven't thought of that in years" he admits. "You remember that we've talked about my grandfather Sam and the tribe, right? Well the first time we went to visit him and my brother, David suggested that you might go on a vision quest to be accepted as a brave of the tribe and as a member of the family by the rest of the tribe. I'd done it years before so I knew what was involved and I was concerned that it would put you and possibly the tribe in danger so I refused to let you do it. At one point later, we'd been trapped in a cabin by a mudslide and you brought the subject up again and I again refused to allow you to do it. You were trying to get me to tell you what a vision quest was and why I was so adamant that you not do it. I'd been hurt and you were actually trying to make conversation until we could be rescued. Still, the subject upset me and, in desperation, I made the offer."

I'm afraid to ask the next question, but I have to know. "Did I hurt you - strike you? Is that why you had a lump on your head?"

"Oh, god, no, Zedd. You've never struck me like that."

"Like that?" I'm horrified. "How do I strike you?"

"Sparring mostly. The occasional swat on the ass during mating. Nothing serious."

"Then how-"

"When the mudslide hit the cabin we were staying in, it struck with such force that it threw me across the room and I hit my head on the nightstand. No, I never did explain it to you, but you stopped asking after Scorpina tested the herbs that are used for it and told you that if things went badly there was every chance that you could kill someone in a five mile radius - including her, Dar and me."

I mull this over for a minute. "I can see that stopping me from wanting to do it, but not stopping me from wanting to know about it."

"Either way, we never did get back to it."

"So I'm guessing that I promised."

He takes a deep breath. "Yes, you did. And no, for whatever reason, you've never invoked the promise I made you."

I exhale in relief. "I'm glad." At his curious look, I explain. "Thomas, love, I would never want you to be obedient to me because you have to. From what I can tell, our relationship works very well because neither one of us has dominance over the other. I mean, once in a while for fun during mating, fine, but true dominance-" I shake my head. "That's not a good thing."

"Not that I don't agree, but in truth I partly made that promise because even then I trusted you enough not to abuse it or use it against me by asking me to do something that would hurt or upset me. In short I knew you wouldn't use it to treat me like a pet, even if I did give up control to you for that length of time."

"But you would have been a pet" I inform him softly. "Whether I treated you like one or not, to offer to consent to whatever I said whether you wanted to or not, my love, that is what a pet does and truthfully I never want you to ever do that. That's very likely why I never mentioned it again or brought it up, you're my mate and my equal and again while playing with you in that manner at times is fine, I would never be okay with carrying it out past that playful point."

We hear the front door open and Jacob call out, "We're home!"

"I want to talk about this more later." I turn to greet our son. "Did you have a good time?"

"It was okay" he says, dropping his bag in the doorway and coming to hug us.

"Just okay?" Thomas asks. "You usually have a great time at Uncle Jason's house."

Jason comes in the kitchen, commenting, "Well it probably had something to do with my son wanting to talk about pretty much nothing but junior prom and the girl he's taking."

"That's because he doesn't know what she's really like" Mara Jane says. She gives Thomas and me each a quick hug. "I'm going to go deal with my laundry and - and maybe do some reading in my room."

She disappears quickly. Once she's out of earshot, Jason tells us, "Everything was fine - she was even helping him plan the whole thing - until she found out who he's taking."

Uh oh. "And what happened when that information made itself known.?"

"She wasn't happy. Apparently, this girl's sister is in Mara Jane's class and Mara Jane often hears her telling stories about what she does in her free time. She mentioned a few of the - I'm guessing milder - stories to Jimmy. His response was somewhere along the lines of 'sibling rivalry'. That was last night not too long before we sent everyone to bed."

"And this morning?" I can't help but ask.

"I've never seen the two of them ignore each other so hard" Jason admits. "It's been really quiet."

I look to Thomas. "I thought you said that they were more like brother and sister, not that she had an interest in him."

He looks at me calmly. "Mate, she's protective of her family. That might be all this is, not that she wants to date him. Let's not jump to conclusions, okay?"

"You have a point, but if she is-"

"We'll deal with it" he answers. "Just stay calm until we know what's actually going on."

Thomas turns his attention to our son. "Jacob, please go put your clothes in your hamper, put up whatever toys you took with you and play in your room for a little while."

"Okay, Daddy." He picks up his bag and scampers out of the room.

"Manners!" Thomas calls after him.

"Thanks for the sleepover, Uncle Jason!" His door closes and the three of us look at each other.

"If you find out-" Jason starts.

"We'll let you know if necessary" Thomas reassures him. "But if you're right and there's worse stories than Mara Jane actually told him…"

"Depending on what it is…"

"Right." Over the years, I've picked up a bit of their verbal shorthand, since it's not too different than some I remember Pina, Dar and I using in the past. It helps me read between the lines and I'm not nearly as lost as I used to be. When they do that silent communication thing of theirs, however, I'm still fairly clueless. When Thomas and I do it, I understand fairly well, but the two of them…

I shake my head and return to the present. Jason has just departed and Thomas looks at me. I nod. "Let's go."

We head up the stairs, bracing ourselves for our beloved princess to be in tears, rage - something. Instead, we find her in her favorite sweatpants and t-shirt stretched out on her stomach reading, her position almost exactly the same as Thomas' often is when he's reading just to relax. "Hi, princess."

She looks up. "Hi. What's up?"

She doesn't seem upset, but we've discovered that looks can be deceiving especially when involving her. Thomas takes the lead, fortunately, since I don't have a clue how to approach the subject. "Just wanted to make sure that you're okay since you don't seem particularly happy about what happened last night."

"What happened?"

Giving her a slight look, Thomas however plays along for the moment. "Well Jason said you and Jimmy had a slight disagreement for one thing."

"Oh, that." Heaving a sigh, but not really moving yet or seeming too upset, she shakes her head. "Listen, I warned him about that female, he didn't want to hear it, so if he's dumb enough that he wants to date that-" She stops and we wait impatiently.

"Mara Jane?"

"Sorry, Papa. I'm trying very hard to edit myself and not say some of the words you guys don't like me saying." I clench my teeth hard to keep from laughing at this. "- let's just call her a poorly behaved child for right now - then that's his business I suppose and he will eventually, as you and Daddy say at times, learn the hard way."

"Hmm, and what makes you think she's a 'poorly behaved child' of sorts?" I question.

"Look, if even half of what Stacy says about her sister is true, she's not a good person and definitely not a good person for Jimmy to be hanging around with. Not to mention that - even in a different school - her reputation precedes her."

Carefully, Thomas sits by her on the bed, while I pull her desk chair over and sit. "What do you mean, honey?"

"I've heard that she lies, shoplifts, is mean to people, cuts class, does drugs, smokes, drinks when her parents are out, sneaks out of the house, cheats on homework and tests and she's, um, easy."

"Easy?" I look at Thomas for an explanation. He doesn't look happy.

"Slang term meaning that she'll mate with anybody" he answers tersely. He turns back to Mara Jane. "And how much of this did you tell to Jimmy?"

"Lying, cutting class and cheating on homework and tests."

"Just out of curiosity why didn't you mention the other matter?" At my daughter's surprised look, I continue seriously. "I'd think if the other things didn't turn him off from the idea of pursuing this girl that her possible mating habits would."

Heaving a sigh and now looking unhappy herself she's quick to nix this idea. "Papa, Jimmy's human, remember?"

"And?"

"And, human boys aren't - they're not like boys on Eltar."

Again looking to Thomas, who looks anything but pleased, I'm only further upset myself by what he says. "Human boys that age aren't like young men on Eltar, mate. They're not put off by the idea of a girl not being untouched. You remember when you woke up in the hospital and I tried to kiss you?"

"Yes."

"How you pulled back and said it wasn't proper, especially when as far as you could recall we weren't mates?"

Nodding, as I do recall and still feel a tad badly for hurting his feelings, I again try to apologize. "I didn't mean to upset you, I was just still trying to take everything in and still hadn't quite grasped the concept Annwyl had betrayed me and I'd taken you as a mate."

"I know, and I understand that, but here, those kind of morals aren't really practiced very much. You would be considered a very desirable, very classy type of gentleman on this planet with the morals you hold, even if on Eltar others tend to view you as a bit of a scoundrel."

"Papa, boys here, from what I understand at least, a lot of times seem more interested in females that are ready to mate on a whim then those that are taught like Grandmother and Aunt Serena taught me."

Now looking surprised himself, Thomas however finds his voice before I do. "And what exactly have they taught you?"

Shrugging but seeming a bit embarrassed now she at least gives a somewhat acceptable response. "They said it's not proper to go kissing and touching other girls or boys in certain ways until I was a lot older, and that I was way too young to even be really interested in that stuff anyways. Aunt Serena also said boys are nothing but trouble anyways and if I ever thought they weren't to watch you and Papa have one of your 'debates' one day and I'd quickly lose all interest in wanting to find one to court me."

"Sounds about right" Thomas agrees with a slight smile. "Anyways though, back to the topic at hand, as now I'm a tad worried about Jimmy. How do you know that Stacy is telling the truth about her sister?"

"Some of it, well like I said, her reputation is all over school. Stacy is really smart, though, like Aunt Hayley smart and she got a scholarship to come to my school. She doesn't need to compete with her sister, so it's not like she's jealous or anything."

"So you don't know her sister personally?"

"No, I've never met her and honestly I don't want to. One time, Madison filled Stacy's backpack with mud because she was mad at Stacy for something. Stacy had to entirely redo a project because of it. The only lucky part was that Stacy was planning to turn it in early so that nothing would happen to it so she had time to redo it."

Thomas nods calmly. "Is that all there is to it?"

She shrugs and looks away. Before I can stop myself, I ask, "Did you want him to ask you?"

"W-what?"

"You did mention talking to your aunt and grandmother about courting and such things" Thomas points out calmly. "We're not mad, honey, we get your a tad ahead Eltarian girls your age as far as growing up is concerned due to your human and Phadosian genetics. We just want to know exactly what problem to focus on first here."

"I kind of thought he was going to" she admits softly after a minute. "When he first mentioned it to me, he said he had no idea who he'd take if he went. We've actually talked about it a lot. Prom, I mean, not me going. It just really sounds cool and I wanted to go - almost offered so that he didn't have to try and ask someone. Then last night he said he'd finally figured out who he was going to ask, but he wanted to make some plans first so that he could give her an idea of what to expect if she said yes. So I helped him. He kept asking me what I thought and would a girl prefer this or that. I was just - so sure. After dinner he disappeared for a bit and when he came back-"

"He'd called her and she said yes" Thomas finishes just as softly. "Oh baby, I'm sorry."

Mara Jane swallows hard. "Yeah, well, it's his loss. And when she gets him in some kind of trouble because he didn't listen to me, he'll be sorry."

Thomas and I exchange looks. "Mara Jane, it's okay to be hurt because he wouldn't believe you."

"I just - don't understand why he wouldn't believe me. We've known each other forever! He's been my best friend for as long as I can remember. I don't lie to him. I tell him almost everything. I thought he was doing the same. I thought I was his best friend too." She sniffles, obviously fighting tears and it makes me want to storm over there and shake the hell out of that boy.

Then Thomas says something that snaps me to attention. "And you have a bit of a crush on him too, don't you?"

Now she looks even more miserable. "Maybe a little" she admits grudgingly. "I didn't even realize it until he told me who he'd asked and that she'd accepted and I just wanted to tear her face off."

This is one of those times that I truly wish that the Eltarian genetics were completely dominant because she wouldn't be dealing with this for years yet. Suddenly, I feel - something - that makes me suck in a breath. Thomas says sharply, "Mara Jane, breathe. Focus and calm down. Come on, honey, you can do it."

I look to my daughter and am surprised to see that her eyes are no longer the beautiful purple that they normally are. They're black and something inside me howls at the surge of the other something again. "Thomas?" I speak uncertainly.

He looks up at me quickly and curses. "Outside. Now. Both of you. Backyard."

He stands up, pushes me toward the door as he grabs Mara Jane's arm and pulls her off the bed. He's calling out commands to people even as he gets us downstairs and through the kitchen to the backyard. "Jacob, stay in your room until I call for you. Kira, Serena - we have a problem. Kira, I need you. Serena, you need to go in the house for your own safety. Move it! Now!"

Mara Jane and I have barely cleared the back door before my sister darts in under Thomas' arm. "Tommy, what-" Kira stops as whatever the problem is apparently becomes obvious to her as she curses too. "What do you need me to do?"

"I'm not sure yet. First thing, we need to try and get Mara Jane calmed down before-"

"Got it." Kira nods and moves over to Mara Jane even as Thomas turns his attention to me. "Mara Jane, honey, breathe for me, okay?"

Whatever is happening - or trying to happen - has me shaking. "Thomas, what's happening?"

"Look at me, Zedd. Focus on me." He runs his hands down my arms. "Stay with me, mate. Mara Jane is upset and she's close to losing control of the dark power. When she gets like this, you can feel it. You were training her to use and control it when you had your accident. Tell me how you feel right now."

"It's hard to describe. Like - something wants to get out." He exhales in what seems to be relief.

"There was a time when feeling dark power made you want it and we had to take you and her to see a keeper of the powers to curb that desire."

"Why?"

"Because if we didn't you could have accidentally drained her of her power and killed her before being able to stop yourself."

"I would never-"

"I know you wouldn't, it's fine though. As long as you don't have a desire to snatch it, we should be good and from the sound of it I'm glad that's not the case right now." My eyes stray to my daughter and Kira at another surge. "No, Zedd! Focus on me, not her right now!" His fingers take my chin and turn me back toward him. "Come on, kalleimat. You can do this. Hang on until Mara Jane has control again."

My hands are itching to do something - anything - to make this feeling stop. I can feel the sensation spreading slowly up my arms. "Thomas - help me."

Before he can respond, I hear the squeal of brakes out front. In less than a minute, Scorpina and Goldar race into the backyard. "Tommy - you and Kira go inside."

"Like hell I will" he snaps back, not taking his gaze from me. "I will not abandon my husband and daughter!"

I flinch at another small surge and then another. Goldar's voice has a gravel to it that I've not heard before. "Go, brat. They can't really hurt us in these forms. It's all dark power. But if they were to lose it and attack you or Kira - morphed or not - you will get hurt and neither one of them needs to deal with that guilt."

"And I'm not dealing with the guilt of abandoning him when he's terrified. I can feel his fear through the bond, I'm not leave."

"Dar - go deal with Mara Jane. Seeing you in this form might help break through." The female warrior stands beside my mate even as I see Goldar in alternate form rushing to help my child. "It'll be all right, Zedd. You can do this, just focus."

"Thomas, please" I gasp out. "Don't want to hurt you."

"I've been caught by your dark power before, mate. I'll be fine." Uncertain if that's true or not and torn between wanting him near me and shoving him away to keep him safe, I'm momentarily distracted as I hear our daughter's own desperation.

"Papa - I can't - help me!"

My heart aches even as the itching feeling grows stronger. "I can't, baby. I can't help me right now."

"Goldar, move!" she snaps out. I look up to see her rear back and throw - something.

"No!" Instinctively, I raise my hand and whatever is in me draws it to me. Immediately, the itching feeling begins to recede. Still, that something - which I'm guessing is the dark power - seems to howl still louder.

My hands grip my head and I go to my knees. In a minute, I hear Mara Jane talking to me. "It's okay. I'm back in control now, Papa. You can give me my power back now, that'll make it better."

"I don't know how!"

"Just let it go" she says softly. "You've been holding too much of my power for too long. When you were training me and I couldn't pull your power like you do mine, you thought that it might be easier for me to pull my own. You absorbed some of my power orbs and, instead of converting them to your own power, left them alone. We were supposed to practice the day of your accident."

I sense the others backing away even as she coaxes me to let her power free. "I'm - trying."

I hear Thomas. "Kira - morph. If they lose control of it, you'll be better protected."

"Dino Thunder - power up! Hah!"

"I call forth the power of the falcon!" The four of them move between us and the house, hoping - I'm guessing - to protect the structure somewhat if we do lose control. "Go ahead mate. Look at her. Give back what's hers."

I can hear the anxiety tainting his otherwise calm tone. I'm worried too. If we've never done this before- Don't do that to yourself, Zedd. Just focus on what you need to do. Let your daughter teach you as you have her. I exhale slowly and raise my eyes to my child's as she takes my hands. As I release the power, I watch her eyes turn black once more. She remains calm and smiles at me. In another minute, her eyes return to their rich purple and her smile explodes into a huge grin. "You did it, Papa! I did it!"

Feeling relatively normal once more, I can't help but grin back. "Yes, you did. I am so proud of you right now."

"Mara Jane, do you have control of it?"

"Yes, Daddy." Looking to Goldar she gives a weak smile. "Sorry I almost killed you, again, Uncle Dar."

Waving this off, he seems less then concerned. "You hardly almost killed me rug rat, at worst it still would have been less painful then eating your Papa's cooking." Funny.

"Zedd, mate are you all right?"

"Tired" I admit. "How the hell did I used do this all the time without going completely insane?"

"Things were different then, my friend" Dar says, returning to his normal form. The others follow suit as Mara Jane and I rise from the ground. "Plus, I'm not sure, in fairness, either of us would have been considered completely sane at the time. Scorpina perhaps, but you and I, meh, not as much."

Smiling weakly at his attempt to lighten my mood with a bit of picking, I give a weary nod.

"Why don't you take a nap, kalleimat? I'll take care of a few things and come for you later."

"You could lay down with me" I bargain, his own worry and still not quite gone fear easily pulling at me through the bond now.

"I'll join you in a bit love. I just have to check on Jacob first and give Jason a call."

Thomas helps me off the ground. "Is - is everything all right now?" my sister asks timidly from the doorway. Considering how often I championed her when we were children, I'm sure that this has shaken her quite a bit.

"Perfectly fine, Aunt Serena" Mara Jane assures her.

"Zedd?"

"Just tired, little sister." I give her a quick hug and head up to the bedroom. It takes quite a while before I hear someone come in. "Thomas?"

"Shh. Go to sleep, Zedd. I'm here." Once I'm settled against him, it's only moments before I'm out.