BTW: This chapter is written in Duo's POV because it just suited better.
Bear with me!
The Forsaken
Chapter Five
To say our situation was bad would be an understatement. To say our situation was hellish would be the same, I'd prefer the wramth of hell over the chills running down my spine any time. To say our situation was worse that one we've ever been in would be the truth. To say the five of us had hardly any strength left and our morals and kindness are too heavy to carry... that wouldn't be a lie either...
In the beginning of the war I had this little theory about the parts we play in this little disfunctional family. And since silence reins most of the time, I find myself thinking them over again as I follow the others that are in front of me.
Let's start with Heero, my favorite subject no matter what situation we are in. He is the pillar of strength and only a blind man could not see he was trained to lead, or just too damn stubborn to take order from anyone other than J. He's the guy that would hold the flashlight and walk up front as we head through a dark tunnel. He is the one to make sure eveything is clear and we can pass safely.
Trowa... initially I thought he was the silent guy that would follow all the orders, as long as he agrees with them. Like Heero he is strong and I always picture he would walk right behind Heero, doing a second check of the surroundings.
I might talk shit about WuFei, but that guy had earned my respect, from the beginning. He is the guy that I picture at the rear of the pack, not because he likes following everyone around, but because he'd be damned to let anyone sneak up on us from behind. I also imagined he'd be the one to pick up fallen team mates and carry them to safety with bombs going off all around him.
And Good old Quatre. He is the strength that keeps us together. Without Quatre's calming presence we would have the hardest of times not to strangle each other. He's the one you can always count on to save you, but not in bullet fire or explosions, he is the one that saves the soldiers when they are most vulnerable... out of the battle, thinking over their sins. As a soldier threatens to drown in the sea of souls of all of the people he killed Quatre is the strong hand that grabs your and pulls you up with all his might and then wraps a warm blanket around you and gives you a cup of hot cocoa.
Alas, there is me. I found it hard to pinpoint my part in our little group. But after a while I noticed that I pick up where Quatre left off. While he does the individual approach, I chatter and joke so much that it takes the worry even out of Heero's mind, though he'd be damned to admit it. No matter how hard they will deny it, they'll miss my chatter when it's gone because the silence allow them to think about everything they don't want to think about. As long as I chatter and joke, blabber about all that is unnecessary, there is no need for Quatre to pull us up.
And after going through the theory that hit me a good six months before the seventh damned day that we stalk through this forest I am able to explain the tension. All on my own I figured out why our little group is falling apart. And here they say I don't have enough brain capacity.
See, the domino effect starts with talkative little me. The thing is, I don't talk anymore. I stopped talking the third day when even I began to see that this situation is too serious and I started to get afraid. Alone with my thoughts our group went silent. In this silence they ponder over eveything they had done wrong, thinking about the lives they took and god dammit Heero must be feeling really guilty for picking an old plane to escape with, even though he had his reasons. Wufei is fearing he'll never see again and he'll be nothing but a useless aspect to our team.
And when we all are down and depressed, there is no Quatre to pull us up and we slowly drown in a rough sea. A dark sea and all we hear is thunder and the cries and pleads of those who perrished as they pull us down by our feet.
It also hits them that this is serious, these days could be their last, they have every right to worry. Without Quatre there is no 'one for all', everyone stands on his own and there is no Wufei to pick them up when they stumble or collapse from pure exhaustion. So they have to keep going, survival instincts is all that gives them the strength to lift their feet and make the next heavy step.
The fourth domino stone lies with Trowa. I didn't get it at first but, being alone with my thoughts and all, retracing our days, I think I pinpointed the moment where something snapped behind those green eyes. I think it was when he carried the delusional Heero out of the plane, who was blabbering nonsense, much like I mostly do. I think it scared him. I think it scared him that the one to be holding the flashlight, dropped it. My guess is that he lost faith in Heero's ability to lead so he feels the need to take over.
The fifth stone is Heero. Stubborn, thickheaded Heero who does not like it when anyone doubts any of his abilities.
And from there on stones just keep tumbling and the story ends at our current location and we, no I, always wonder when the next stone will fall and will bring us that much closer to insanity.
But I fear death will beat insanity in the race to get to us. I am not blind and I do have a large amount of brain capacity, even though they don't know it, even though I don't show it. I reckon trowa hasn't eaten for days, all the edible berries we found and devided equally between us five, he would always give his share to Quatre. He was so malnourished that his body, with no fat left, began feeding of his muscles, muscles he needed to carry the blonde on his back. His arms were the first that started to quiver and now it's plain for everyone to see that his legs threaten to buckle with each step. I want to be mad at him, not only for his stupity, because him dying of hunger won't do Quatre any good, but also because he keeps whipping us like slaves, ordering us to go faster and farther. But how can I mad at a guy who risks his life for someone else? And I can't help but ask myself why, because, no matter how hard it is to admit, Quatre appears to me like a lost cause. His skin has turned transparent and he hasn't reached consciousness for the past two days. He hadn't lost more blood, but that was only because the wound had closed with a nasty infection.
Heero, my poor Heero that had carried me for two days after my poison incident wasn't doing well either. He started coughing, but I don't think it's a cold. He can't breath without wheezing nor wincing and it's hard to watch his face contort in pain as once in a while he has to take a deep breath. Things really hurt if even the perfect soldier doesn't try to hide it. I've seen him get tortured, face a neatral mask, that mask was now ripped to shreds as he looked drained with his mouth open in a effort to ease his breathing.
Seeing those three makes me feel like the biggest bastard in the world as I keep complaining about my broken and swollen foot. It's painful as it throbs with every step I take and i feel it will tear my shoe, that's how much it has swollen, but still, guilts renders me silent as I listen to wheezing and watch quivering legs.
I have yet to let go of WuFei's hand, I've been holding it the entire day as I guide him across the forest floor, being careful to spot those surfacing tree roots hidden beneath a blanket of fallen brown leaves. I'm glad to see that besides his blindness, that has yet to improve much, he is doing good. His small injuries are healing and I'm sure he noticed that I've begun to lean on him more and more with each painful step. But i don't think he minds, I think he sees it as a return of favor. So we've been silent companions from the moment the plane crashed. Guess he was lying afterall when he once said he couldn't stand my presence for longer than five minutes.
The cold night fell apon us once again. Unable to keep on walking with violently shivering torso's Trowa finally agreed to rest.
I look up, trying to to spot the moon or any of the stars, but the roof of green leaves above me was just too thick and soon as the sun had completely set, it was pitch black, I could barely see the outlines of my friends as the trees blocked every bit of light. At Heero's request I help WuFei into the tree and climbed in after him. Seated on a thick branch I waited for Heero to join me, but he didn't. Fearing a full blown fight between Trowa and Heero I lean over to look down, almost losing my balance. My heart thumps in my throat as I realise that could have been a nasty fall. Once calmed down I force my eyes to focus and vaguely see Heero at the trunk of the tree. He's trying to climb, but he can't, the exertion is just too much for his battered lungs to handle and before i know it he falls back on the ground, panting and wheezing and doesn't make a move to try again. I can feel the tension as I see trowa's tall sihouette staring at the struggling pilot on the ground. Sighing I climb down, cursing my painful foot that has to carry all my weight from time to time as I slowly come down. Holding on to the lowest branch I reach my hand out to Heero, who had rose to his feet again. I frown as my hand gets swatted away quite roughly. With shaking head I watch Heero's second attempt to climb the tree. This time he is more succesful. I wait and climb after him, ready to catch him should he fall, but he doesn't and a long time later the three of us are finally all seated in the tree. I'm surprised to see that trowa is no longer keeping up an act and hoists Quatre into a tree with Heero's gaze fixed on them all the time.
Please don't comment on it, please don't comment on it, i prayed inwardly.
Thankfully Heero doesn't. With one last cough he closes his eyes and being the perfect soldier that he is he is fast asleep within no time. God, I wish I could do that.
God knows how long later I wake up, or so I think. Fear grows in my chest as I notice it is still dark and I can't see my friends around me. Thankfully the only one to blame for that are my eyes that had yet to adapt to the dark. Soon I spot all four of them, safely in the trees. But I'm not at ease, I don't just wake up for nothing, I must have heard something.
Barely able to hear anything other than erratic beating of my heart I strain my ears as I try my best to look around. I detect a definite rustle of leaves. I climb to the far end of the branch and look around, of course my nothing more than human eyes don't see a bloody thing in the damned dark so I'm left to rely on my sense of hearing only.
Never have I been so scared. The dark ususally never got to me, but now my incapability to see is the most frightening thing I have ever experienced. Maybe because now I know that every little sound I hear, won't be Heero, nor WuFei, nor Trowa, nor Quatre. Being a windstill evening there was nothing else to blame but a living creature, sneaking up on us. I look back at Heero, I hate to wake him up as we are all so drained from walking on fumes, but I know that should not stand I my way. I should not risk our safety just because I don't have the heart to wake him.
'Heero.' I whisper harsly. 'Heero.'
After receiving no response I shake him and apologise as I scared him, which is obvious as he grips my arms so tightly the blood circulation is cut off. 'Chill man, it's just me.' I comfort.
He calms down and slowly releases me. His wide eyes narrow to their usual size.
'I hear something.' Those three words got me his undevided attention within seconds. He too climbed father, past me, to the and of the branch and sat still, focussing. I hold my breath as i don't want to disturb him. His eyes shifts, he too is left blind in the night, but his muscles tense at sounds only his trained ears pick up.
'What is it?' I dare to ask.
'I don't know... but it's hunting us.'
My breath hitches and i can barely stop myself from calling out: 'Oh shit!' I look around in vain and I wait for him to say comforting words like: Don't worry, we're safe here. But no such comfort comes. 'What should we do?'
'... Our best bet is to stay here, stay hidden...'
The fright in Heero's eyes scares me and I tell him so.
His only response is: 'Fear is a natural reaction... that saves lives.'
Not being able to resist this one I joke: 'No wonder you almost get killed daily.'
Heero put his fingers to his lips, ordering me to be silent.
I was and we both wait as the sound, faint as it is, comes closer. Whoever it is, he is not alone and I fear for OZ soldiers as we are defintely being surrounded, soft, mufled footsteps come closer and closer from every direction. I wonder what the use is in staying in the tree, they have obviously located us, we might have a better chance if we flee or fight back, despite our injuries and weakness. But I don't tell Heero about my idea, he told me to be silent after all. Trowa might be bold enough to question Heero's orders, but I trust him blindly, I have no choice afterall. They say it takes a real man to admit someone else is better. Well, that makes me the most real man to walk this planet as I'm not afraid to admit that Heero is a better soldier than I am. But like I said, each had his own qualities in this group.
I see Heero move, only a little. After closer inspection I find he has giving Trowa, who had awoken at the sound of a twig snapping, the same gesture as he had given me.
Knowing better than to pick a fight in a compromising situation like this Trowa nodded and remained silent.
I couldn't help but notice Heero was holding his breath as his wheezing was a dead giveaway.
I hear another twig snapping, it was so close I almost screamed. I look around, half expecting to find an ozzie sitting next to me on the branch, but there no one there except for a sleeping WuFei.
All the warning i got was a loud crack and an unreserved scream from Heero. Reacting on instincts I reach over to grab his arm and that had been the best response I could have made as it dawns to me the branch we were sitting on had broken, exactly between me and Heero. The heavy branch, the slow process of it breaking had been the snapping I had heard before, fell to the ground with a loud thud and if that hadn't awaken WuFei Heero's startled cry would have.
'I got ya!' I yell, no longer worrying about being silent, sitting on the stump that was left of the branch I held on to Heero's hands with all my might. I look around and curse as, all around us, I see lights. Eyes reflecting the little moonlight that filtered through the leaves. 'Shit, heero! Pull yourself up!' he's trying, I know he is, but he just can't get enough oxygen into his body to fuel his strength.
All I can do is try my best to pull him up as one set of eyes runs towards his legs that are dangling down. Just in time he pulls his legs up as a mouth full of sharp teeth snaps up at him in an attempt to grab his foot.
'Holy fuck.' I let out as for the first time in my life I see a wolf anywhere other than in a picture in a book. Five more close in, they eyes shining like the devil himself was in control of them. With my last bit of strength I pull the boy, whom I consider to be my best friend, without any direct reason, up and after what seemed like forever of struggling he is in my arms, panting painfully. He lookes down at the large wild dogs with disbelief in his eyes.
After a moment he gasps out: 'Thanks.' And then disentangles himself from my arms.
'What's going on!' WuFei demands.
'It's okay, just some wolves.'
'Wolves! God do I hate this forest!'
'What now?' I ask the person who, thusfar, always had all the answers.
Heero looks down at the wolves who stare up at us in hunger.
Yeah, I can sympathise, I thought, looking into their hungry eyes. But you don't see me trying to chew off YOUR leg! As if the wolf I was glaring at had read my thought he took a small step back. Yeah, be afraid, be very afraid.
'We'll have to wait for them to leave...' He asnwers breathlessly.
'And what if they don't?' WuFei, always the bearer of the hard questions.
Heero shot him a glare, not that wuFei would notice, and he snaps: 'You have a better idea?'
'Take it easy, okay guys, sheesh. As if it isn't bad enough that THEY want to chew our heads off. Let's just stay calm and wait, I mean, how long could it take?'
Okay, of all the stupid comments I've made, that one was the worse...
And before you think: Yeah, that's great and the next chapter will be up in three months again, I say: WRONG! I've been having a little too much time on my hands so I already finished this story up to chapter seventeen and will be posting them in rapid sequence! Yeah, I'm proud of myself.
I hope you can forgive me for the spelling. I know I usually beg people to not comment on it, this time I'm asking you for your thoughts on my grammar and spelling. Ya know, see if it had improved a little.
As I walk through the valley of the shadows of death
I shall fear no evil.
Because I carry a stick... and I'm the meanest motherfucker in the valley!
C.W.