Monday had the potential to be a raging disaster. Logan and I had printed out the pictures on my brand new photo printer. They'd turned out better than we'd hoped. The hallway at school looked like it had brand new wallpaper, right up until you looked closely and saw Seth's naked ass, and Dicks sleeping face.
Poor little Dick, I think we may have broken him.
The howling laughter echoed down the hallway, looks like the entire school had now seen the photographs. After Dick's performance on Friday during the Seth kiss, and then the subsequent knocking Seth to the ground, it was a logical conclusion most of the student body came too.
They were obviously witnessing a lover's spat. Complete with over the top dramatics, and blackmail material. Ah the soap opera that was Neptune High.
We all waited in anticipation, Dick hadn't shown up to school yet. I held my breath when I saw Beaver walk through the front doors and gripped Logan's hand harder. This was it. The moment we'd been waiting for.
Dick walked through the doors like he owned the place. Anyone who didn't know him probably wouldn't have noticed his walk. The slight awkward way he was moving down the hall. I could see the moment he noticed the pictures. Noticed the stares being directed in his direction. Anger flashed across his face, then mortification, then a pure unadulterated rage.
He was playing the part perfectly, like he'd read the script before hand. I knew Dick could be trusted to be predictable.
Heading in my direction, I felt Logan grip my hand harder, letting me know he was there for support during this confrontation.
"You BITCH!" Dick screamed. I didn't even flinch. I actually shocked myself at the cool I was maintaining.
I arched my eyebrow, a patented Logan smirk turning up the corner of my mouth, as I waited for him to say more.
"You did this! You… you…" Dick's words stuttered to a stop as his face turned bright red, a vein started throbbing in his temple.
"Careful Dick, you wouldn't want to strain your vocabulary." I mocked; the vein in his head was totally fascinating. The angrier he got the faster it beat.
"You CUNT!" I could feel Logan tense beside me, but I squeezed his hand, letting him know I wanted to handle this.
"Hurts don't it?" I kept my voice low, trying to sound vaguely threatening. At my whopping height of five feet tall, it was a little difficult to intimidate the big boys. "Waking up and not knowing what happened. Being sore in all the wrong places. Feels like a hangover from hell, but it's not. Is it Dick?" My mouth firmed as I remembered waking up next to Logan.
I know waking up to Logan wasn't a bad thing. But thinking I'd lost my virginity and didn't even remember it? That was bad, and that was Dick's fault.
His mouth tightened but his eyes finally shifted from mine. I could see it now, lurking in his eyes, the thing I'd been looking for. Guilt.
I could see practically the entire school watching us, trying to overhear our conversation, but I'd deliberately kept my voice low. This wasn't a conversation for everyone to overhear. This was between us.
"Feeling guilty Dick? Cat got your tongue?" I baited him, waiting for him to blow.
I could see him weighing his words carefully, eyes shifting to meet Logan's gaze and he nodded imperceptibly. "I'm sorry," he muttered out. I almost didn't hear him.
"What was that Dick? I don't think I heard you right." I needed to hear him say it out loud. I needed him to realise, no, I needed him to admit he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry I put the GHB into your drink at Shelly Pomroy's party." The words came out rushed and clipped together all on one long breath. But he'd finally admitted to doing something wrong. It was a step in the right direction.
"The pictures will be down by lunch." I nodded at him and moved away, Logan still clinging to my hand. I stopped halfway down the hall and turned around, meeting Dick's gaze from where he hadn't moved, "But Dick? If I hear about something like this again…" I let my words trail off as his face turned bleach white. I was understood, Dick wouldn't be drugging another girl at a party. Not while I was around anyway.
Justice. It's a funny thing isn't it? A double edged sword, I got even with Dick, but… I showed a part of myself I'm not sure I should be proud of. The part of me that was just like Lilly.
If I've been relating the details right, then you should understand that I wanted to be like Lilly. Right up until I managed to be just like her… and then I wasn't so sure that's who I wanted to be.
It took something very silly for me to realise that being Lilly? Wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Logan dragged me to another 09er party. He'd said something about conquering my fear, not letting anyone else win, being strong. Or something along those lines, I was too busy quaking in my sandals to actually listen to a word he said.
My nervousness had slowly faded away when Lilly had walked up beside me, linking our arms and pulling me away from Logan. I glanced back over my shoulder, his smile reassuring me. It seemed like hours ago, maybe it was hours ago. I'd finally given in and had a little bit to drink. Logan had gone to the bar to get every drink that he'd placed in my hand. He's trying to allay my fears, and I have to admit to myself it's working.
I couldn't remember seeing Lilly in awhile, so I patted Logan's hand to get his attention, whispering in his ear that I was going to find Lilly. He kissed me softly on the cheek before he nodded, letting go of my waist reluctantly.
Searching for Lilly in a house full of boys when I was totally sober was difficult enough. Searching for Lilly in a strange house full of boys when I was half drunk was next to impossible. I couldn't help but feel hurt that she'd ditched me, when she'd known how nervous I was.
I could hear her voice, coming through an open window. The strident tones of some guy with her, I moved closer to hear better, wanting to make sure she was okay. If I'm honest with myself, I really wanted to know what or who had dragged her outside the party.
Weevil.
"Look Blondie. I know you don't want to be seen in public with me. That's fine. I understand the whole different sides of the zip code thing. Calling me out in the middle of the night to an 09er party? Not the brightest idea you've ever had." Weevil's voice was gentle, almost teasing. I could hear Lilly sniffling light. She sounded like she was crying.
"So I'm not bright?" Lilly's tone was defensive and I could now hear the tears clearly. Lilly Kane was crying. The shocking part was that Lilly Kane was crying over Weevil.
"Don't put words in my mouth. You want to fight, we'll fight, you want to cry, we can do that too. Just spit out what you're trying to say so I can get out of here before someone sees me." Weevil's voice had gone from gentle to slightly angry.
"So this wasn't one of my better ideas." Lilly's voice was muffled. I could hear a wet sound, and blushed.
I heard a zipper go down and I bolted. I did not want to hear Lilly and Weevil having sex.
Lilly reappeared a few minutes' later, slightly dishevelled, eyes red, even her nose was splotchy. I quickly headed in her direction herding her into the bathroom.
"We need to fix your makeup." I said without preamble, not letting on I'd heard part of her conversation.
"I won't be seeing Weevil again." Her voice sounded slightly sad. I'd never heard Lilly sound sad before. Not over a guy at any rate.
"You're… disappointed?" I asked questioningly, I wasn't quite sure what to say.
"No way!" Lilly tried to make her voice sound upbeat but she failed miserably. "He wouldn't have been able to handle my fabulous self for much longer anyway. Move on, trade up, right?" She finally met my eyes and I knew. Lilly Kane actually liked Weevil Navarro.
"Right." My voice was tentative, as I gently rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry Lilly." I offered the apology, hoping it would do something.
"Nothing to be sorry for, Veronica Mars. Let's go drink, dance, and be merry!" She bounced to her feet, her momentary sadness seemingly forgotten.
"Can I be Sue? I'm not sure I could pull off being Mary." I quipped quickly, trying to make her smile. It worked, she laughed at my antics, just like she always does.
"You can be whoever you want to be Veronica Mars. Just don't try to be me. Sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be." With that last bout of honesty I felt something I'd never felt before. I felt sorry for Lilly.
We'd made our way back to where Logan was sitting. He'd taken one look at Lilly's red rimmed eyes and had known something was wrong. I'd waved him off, and then proceeded to join Lilly in getting rip roaring drunk. Skunked I think is the preferred term now a-days with the young folk.
Lilly and I had wandered to a deserted corner of the party. Neither one of us could stand under our own power; we were leaning heavily on each other, trying to maintain our balance on the gently moving couch. At least I think it's moving.
"You've got it pretty sweet, Veronica Mars." Lilly's voice was soft next to me, and I struggled to turn my head in her direction.
"Why's that Lilly Kane?" I giggled out.
"Your parents know you exist. Even when they didn't know you really belonged to both of them, they still knew you existed." Lilly's voice was melancholy, dripping with depression.
"Don't be an idiot Lilly. Your parents know you exist." I patted her knee gently, laying my head back on the couch, maybe that would stop the room from moving around on me.
"Nope! Saint Duncan exists, I'm merely here to provide entertainment, and a wild contrast to their only son." Lilly laughed self deprecatingly, suddenly she sounded way to sober.
"They love you Lilly, they just don't understand you." I tried being consoling but the motion of the room was getting in the way, I'm pretty sure I'm going to throw up if it doesn't stop soon.
"Do you understand me, Veronica Mars? Do you really?" Lilly's head tipped over onto my shoulder, her breath felt hot against my skin. "Sometimes I'm not even sure I understand myself."
"Of course I understand you! BFF remember?" I linked our hands together and pulled her closer, trying to stave off the nausea for at least a few more minutes.
"BFF, I remember. Always and forever right?" Lilly sounded so lost.
"Right." I agreed quietly, closing my eyes, but quickly opening them as the spinning got worse.
Lilly stood from the couch, pulling me with her, catching me as I stumbled. "Let's go find that boyfriend of yours. Enough of the poor, poor pitiful Lilly act." She smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back. Lilly always made me smile.
"I love you Lilly, Sisters forever remember? Whether with love or blood, doesn't matter, sisters forever." I could hear the slur in my voice, but it only made Lilly laugh.
"That's right. Sister's forever, and on that note, I have a piece of advice for you." She leaned in closer like she was going to impart the biggest secret of all. Wasn't how this whole thing started? I couldn't remember.
"You'll always be more fabulous than me Veronica. Just because you aren't afraid to be who you really are, remember that when you look in the mirror." Logan's arms came around me, holding me steady as Lilly placed a soft kiss on my cheek. "Later guys, don't have too much fun without me!" With a wave of her fingers Lilly was gone.
"What was that about?" Logan whispered into my ear.
"I'm not sure. Maybe I'll figure it out when I'm sober." I slurred out, trying and failing to turn around in his arms.
"Let's get you to bed Mars, before you fall on your face." Logan laughed, picking me up gently in his arms. The world tilted and I could feel the colour draining from my face.
"Bathroom first." I mumbled, snuggling closer to feel the laughter vibrating through his chest.
For the second time in less than a year I woke up not knowing where I was, the light coming from the wrong direction yet again. I was still wearing my bra and panties, and there was a masculine arm wrapped around me.
I'd slept with Logan Echolls.