Dangerous Games
Chapter Ten
Remorse and Regrets
Guimel stood outside of Robert's office in their home, shifting from foot to foot as he tried to banish the memories of his time with Hiroko. Horrid, how horrid: she had cried; he'd never made anyone cry before. Dammit! He TOLD her it would be bad! Why did she have to give him the option of taking her? He couldn't get that image of her out of his head; he'd opened his eyes and seen her tear-streaked face; he hadn't known she'd been crying, for her body had been responding to his, much to his surprise. He'd gently brushed the tears from her cheeks then he couldn't take it and had run, leaving her there in the bright meadow. He groaned, clutching his head and trying to get rid of those delicate features, the tears glittering in the sunshine. He had to see his older brother. Robert would know how to deal with this. Guimel straightened, taking in a deep breath, then knocked on the ornate wooden door.
"Come in!" he heard Robert say impatiently and he did so, closing the heavy door behind him. His brother was sitting at his desk, the top buried in papers; he was scowling at a parchment unrolled before him. "What?" he asked, not looking up.
"Oniisan," Guimel said hesitantly and Robert looked up, the impatience on the fair features turning into concern.
"What's wrong, Guimel?" he asked, half-smiling. Guimel walked up to the desk, calming down a bit. Just being with Robert made him feel better: he was so much wiser and experienced than himself.
"I just… spent some time with Hiroko," he said. Robert grinned.
"She's proving tougher than you thought?" he asked. "Don't worry: you'll get her! They always give in, in the end." Guimel picked up a blank parchment and rolled it up, gripping the tube in his hands.
"Well, no, that's not the problem," he replied slowly, staring down at the parchment, turning it slowly in his grip. "I've just lain with her and… she was crying. I feel very bad about that, and now I can't stop thinking about it… and her." He looked up in time to see Robert throw back his head and laugh.
"Guimel! You are so kawaii! Worried over a girl's tears?" He laughed again while Guimel stared at him, feeling his cheeks heat up.
"But, that's never happened before. I know I've hurt her, terribly, and I want to correct that. I…" Robert held up his hand, smiling broadly, and he fell silent. He watched as his brother stood and came around the desk, trying to work out why he should feel this way. It was horrible! Robert put his hand on his shoulder, looking down at him reassuringly.
"Guimel, you have let this one get to you, but don't worry: it'll pass. Find yourself a new conquest and you'll forget all about her." Guimel frowned up at him, irritated at his carefree attitude. He was really bothered by this! Robert winked at him.
"I've had this happen to me, too, a few times," his brother said. "It's just a sign that you're still a boy, not totally grown up yet." He gave his shoulder a rough squeeze. "You're all right; it will pass. Go spend some time with Kenneth and forget about this Hiroko. Your conquest is quite a coup, you know: I wish I had had your skill when I was your age!" He went back around his desk and sat, sighing as he picked up his pen. "Now, let me be. I've got to get this bookkeeping done before the end of the day." Guimel stood still, staring at him doubtfully. He wanted to believe him but the image of her still hadn't gone away; neither had the horrible feeling. Robert looked up and frowned.
"Guimel. You'll be fine. Now, leave me!" Guimel spun on his heel and left, the irritation returning. He couldn't believe his brother had ever felt this way; been this unsure of himself. He closed his eyes and the memory of her pretty face in the sunlight, drawn in sadness overwhelmed him; he snarled and stopped, slamming his fisted hand into the wall next to him. Fuck! He ran to his room, yanking open the middle drawer of his desk and pulling out a parchment and ink. He wrote, slowing down his sense of urgency to write out the characters perfectly:
I regret that this morning could not have turned out better. I hope that you are faring well. Guimel
He sealed the note and called Frederick, their butler.
"Send this to Lady Hiroko Madeious, daughter of Duke Madeious. Make sure she gets it!" he snarled, then twisted away from the man, ignoring the slightly surprised look on the dignified features, and strode to the exercise room. The image of her hadn't gone away, but he did feel a little better. Hopefully a good workout would finish the job. He prayed it would be so.
---
She felt so dirty, used… her body ached and her mind simply felt numb and in her depressed state had been drawn to Naolin's room, the familiar aura giving her slight comfort. She was tired, and the ride had been anything but comfortable and now all she wished was to be left alone. Thankfully none seemed to have noticed her return to the châteaux, only the stable boy appearing upon her slow approach, taking her horse from her the moment she dismounted. Her brother was still at home, though currently she knew not where and perhaps it was for the best. Were he to show up now, Hiroko was sure she would not be able to withstand his questioning.
Her head nuzzled deeper into he pillow beneath her. Oh the shame! She truly did want to cry out, voice her pain, sorrow but she didn't, couldn't, for fear of being heard. She could still see it, that look in his face, in his eyes just before he had departed, leaving her alone to return home, leaving behind nothing but the gentle touch of his hand against her cheek. It was that, the fact that he had left her so promptly after getting what he wanted, without a bye or leave. That was what hurt her so, not the physical pain she had felt, nor the dull pain still running through her now, but the mental. That she truly was nothing to him.
With that recurring thought fresh tears began to fall, slipping down her flushed skin as Hiroko hugged herself, a suppressed sob passing her lips. Oh why had she let him, why had she let herself..?
"Why?"
"What's wrong?" came the calm murmur from the far end of the chamber, but Hiroko's only response was to bury her head deeper into the pillow. "Come now, sis. Ever since you were little you've always snuck in here when you were upset, so tell me what's wrong!" The bed creaked gently as Naolin lowered himself onto it, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight. Fingers weaved into her hair, running through the silky, soft tresses, causing her to recall her own similar action regarding Guimel, her own fingers running into his blond curls.
She turned slightly, revealing her tear stained cheeks to him and watched as alarm crossed his fine features.
"God, Hiroko, what's happened?" came his concerned voice and he leaned over her, smoothing away her tears with his thumbs. Immediately she turned away, biting her lower lip at the memory; another reminder of her would be seducer. "How long have you been up here, in this state? I didn't here you return. I most certainly didn't expect you to be home so soon! Why didn't you come to me?"
"Leave me, Naolin, I'm not well." She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, his own probing gaze meeting hers.
"Something's happened today and I intend to find out what. I doubt a headache or a stomachache could cause you to act so."
"It's nothing really!" she whimpered softly.
"Don't lie to me, Hiroko. You've always been a terrible liar, even when you were young!"
"Please!"
"Come on Hiroko, you can tell me!" He urged, a small smile curving his lips. He saw it as a game, but how could he know how she felt. She dare not tell him. What would he say, do… who would he tell? But he wouldn't stop pressing her. He pulled her onto her back, his hands coming to either side of her head as he leaned over her, his voice suppressing laughter, a small smirk curving the corners of his lips. She eyes widened before she tried to break away, fear governing her actions. Why, why was everything reminding her of him? It took her brother but a moment to register the fright in her eyes, the tremble running through her body and frowned, his features darkening and his eyes bore down at her till she could stand it no longer.
"What's happened Hiroko?!" his voice was colder now, a little strained, as if he were beginning to understand.
"I'm sorry…" she whispered, more tears falling.
"For what?"
"I should have listened to you… I shouldn't have trusted him and now."
"Hiroko..?"
"I'm sorry. Please, please don't tell father, he'll be so angry!" he stared at her, his scrutiny unbearable, as his features twisted into a snarl. She tried to get out of his way as he rose to his knees, trying to slip away from the bed, only to be grabbed harshly around the waist and pulled back, fingers digging into her lower torso, causing her cry out in pain.
"God damn it, Hiroko!" she squeezed her eyes shut, bighting her lower lip to suppress herself from voicing any more cries of pain or distress as Naolin's hold only increased in pressure.
"I told you. I warned you! Have you no sense woman?!" and he let out an angered cry as he shook her, in an attempt to make her look at him. But she couldn't wouldn't. Not to see the shame and disgust in his soulful blue eyes. "You stupid fool!" he released a long sigh, in an attempt to calm his fury, his hold loosening to reach up and touch her face. "I knew I couldn't trust you with him. I knew it. I should have made sure she couldn't get near you after yesterday. I don't know why but I thought he would back off, for a little while at least but I was wrong."
"I…I don't want to speak of it, Please." There was silence between them, him simply staring down at her as she in turn shied away.
"Father is nothing," came the almost inaudible murmur, Naolin's temper finally cooled. "It's Terris who I'm worried about. Do you have any idea what this could do to him! Don't say anything to him when you see him. This will have to be covered gently and I prefer it be me he vent his anger on, rather than you!" She mealy nodded her head, as she felt a fresh spell of dread consume her. Terris, how easily he had been dismissed, all for experiencing something she had no real concept of, something she had no real desire to experience again. All for a so called moments pleasure, and a life times regret! How she wished it wasn't so. If only the circumstances had been different, it could have been so perfect!
"I really am sorry!" she whimpered, her eyes finally opening, taking in the look of disappointment in her brother's eyes.
"It's to late to regret now, Hiroko. He's already made his mark on you. Such a mark is hard to dismiss, especially if you…" he let out another cry of rage, though not half as loud, his features twisting again. "It's not your fault, its his, he knew exactly what he was doing… God I could kill him for this! Screw the repercussions!" Her eyes widened at his harsh words, her heart consumed by dread and she clung onto his arm as he went to stand, her eyes appealing to him.
"You can't please. I beg you. Don't touch him!" she pleaded, eyes watering again.
"How can you defend him like his, after all he's done to you. He could have taken anyone and yet he had to choose you! He just couldn't keep his filthy hands to himself could he? Damn him! When did it happen, where?!" His tone was growing louder, his fist slamming down onto his bedside cabinet, sending the items there crashing to the floor. Hiroko covered her ears with her hands, pleading him to stop.
"Did he take advantage of you? Did he… did he hurt you?
"Brother!"
"Did you give your consent?"
"Please don't."
"DID YOU?" he shouted, his eyes burning with rage as if he already knew the answer.
"Yes." Her form shook before she finally broke down, her sobs echoing in the room. "He told me everything but I still… let him. He, didn't hurt me, not intentionally anyway, I don't think, but I am…" a light tapping on the chamber door cut off her words and both heads immediately turned in it's direction.
"Lord Naolin?" came the meek call for behind the mahogany door.
"Yes?"
"There's a messenger to see the Lady Hiroko, sir!"
"She'll be down presently" came the curt reply, which followed by the sound of the servant leaving. "Get up!" came her brother's harsh tone, filled with authority and emotionless, his lips thinned and jaw set as if he had dismissed everything, which he had learnt of in the past hour. She complied, raising herself from the bed, whipping her cheeks and gathering what little strength and dignity she felt she had left, made her way through and out of the chamber, with Naolin in hot pursuit.
She managed to muster a small smile as she entered the parlour, greeting the young man bowing politely before her. His form looked tired, as if he had journeyed there as fast as possible, his clothing slightly dishevelled and his hair out of place. Secretly she hoped he would not be as observant of her, as she was of him.
"You seem tired?" she managed to force herself to speak wearily.
"I rode to your home as quickly as possible, marm. My master seemed quiet insistent that it be delivered to you as soon as possible, or so I was told."
"And your master, who is he?" came Naolin's calm tone as he entered through the parlour door, his previous anger and curtness suppressed somewhat - his tone now that of idol interest.
"My employers are the Guilliames', lord, lady. And my master in question is…"
"Lord Guimel?"
"Yes, sir. He was quite resolute in his orders; that it was to be made sure to be given to you, my lady!" He then produced the note in question, handing it out to Hiroko with somewhat relief at completing his task successfully.
Her fingers trembled as she stared down at the note extended to her, reluctantly accepting it and she found herself staring down at the wax and ribbon seal, running a thumb over it. What was it - he couldn't be content in using her the once? He had got what he wanted from her, hadn't he? So why wouldn't he leave her to her grief? It wasn't as if he cared any for her. It had all been words, fancy words and promises, broken promises, all of them!
"Aren't you going to open it, because I don't know if you want to know what he has to say for himself, but I most certainly do!" It had returned once again, that aggression in his voice as he practically slammed the chamber door closed behind him.
"No!" Hiroko responded simply, handing the note back to the clearly confused messenger. "I do not wish to think of him if he does not wish to think of me in the same light!" She looked up at the young boy, a small, sad smile against her lips. "You have completed your task; you have given me the note. And now I return it to you."
"Pardon me, Lady Madeious but is there a response to his… unread note?" God how she ached, how tired and drained she felt, physically and mentally. Yet she couldn't falter now, though she did droop her head as she shook it in response.
"I have as little to say to him as he had to me upon his abrupt leaving this morning. He disserves no less." The messenger nodded his head, confusion still present on his face as he slipped the note back into his breast pocket and left, leaving Hiroko to sink onto the sofa beside her, her tears once again spilling and Naolin to comfort her.
---
Guimel sighed impatiently, glaring at his younger brother, Georg.
"No, baka, Kyushito is not part of the Alliance! What's the matter with you?"
"Forgive me, Oniisan," Georg said sullenly, his light green eyes trained on the closed book before him. Guimel quelled the urge to smack him upside his curly head. Georg was supposed to take over his functions at the emperor's court while he was doing his military term and the little bastard was fighting the responsibility tooth and nail. He didn't need this, not today. His two-hour workout had done nothing but make him tired and his shoulder's ache worse, and now Georg was driving him crazy. He dropped into his chair and put his feet up on his desk, covering his eyes with one hand.
"All right, let's go over it again. List the members of the Alliance." Covering his eyes was a bad mistake: there she was, beautiful even in her sorrow, tears glittering in the sunlight. DAMN! He fought to keep still, determined not to show his feelings as Georg recited the names in a bored tone. The little brat was behaving badly enough already; he didn't need to see his smirk as well. A month, Guimel thought desperately, just a month and I'll be too busy to think of her. A month, sure, that's only about a million years from now. And Robert. Guimel inwardly snarled. Some help he was. "It will pass." Right. He quelled a sigh. Well, he supposed he had asked for it: he had been very blunt about his intentions. What had driven him to do that? Talk about breaking a cardinal rule! But he simply had no control around her. He still hoped she was all right; he'd never left anyone like that before. It was bad form: you always stayed for awhile afterwards, ensuring that the conquest was content. It was part of keeping a high reputation. But he really wanted her to be all right, despite his confusion as to why. Well, she would read his note and perhaps draw some kind of comfort from that. He certainly had in writing it. Georg finished the list, correctly this time, and Guimel looked over to him, smiling lazily.
"How is Asturia governed?" Georg rolled his eyes.
"By a monarchy."
"List the principal customs." Guimel stretched as Georg scowled and slowly started reciting again, his mind slipping back to Hiroko as he laced his fingers behind his head and stared at the ceiling. Such spirit - he smiled a little, remembering her nails lightly scoring his skin, her delicate features flushed in pleasure, then frowned. It should have been a great experience; what had happened? Why didn't he have any control around her?
There was a knock at the door, halting Georg's litany. Guimel dropped his feet onto the floor and straightened.
"Come in!" he shouted and the door opened, revealing Frederick. The butler approached and held out a note to Guimel, who took it, a little puzzled. Did she write him back? Then he noticed his family crest on the unbroken wax seal. He jerked to his feet, flushing as he glared up at the impassive features.
"What's this?" he demanded.
"The Lady Madeious received your note but declined to read it. She gave no reply." Guimel gasped, hearing Georg smothering a laugh behind him. That… bitch! He NEVER wrote a conquest after laying her: only weak-willed bakas ever did that! He had a sudden visual of the girl laughing as she looked at the crest, perhaps showing it to Naolin. Or worse: Terris. Guimel inwardly snarled and forced himself to relax, his face smoothing out: he'd been showing his true self far too much lately. But that weakness was over.
"Dismissed," he said, then turned around to face Georg. His brother had opened his textbook and was studying it with great interest, trying without success to hide a sly smirk. Guimel hid a scowl, studying the bent head, the dark blonde curls gleaming in the sunlight. Little brat. He reined in his anger, for the moment: he had to get Georg trained in. He would have to work out how he would get her back later.
---
"Good morning, my dear Guimel! You look a little worn out." Guimel frowned slightly as Kenneth ushered him into his mansion, leading the way to were they could change to play tennis. He hadn't slept a wink last night; his brain whirling with a confused mess of emotions: anger, frustration, regret, worry. All of it centred on Hiroko. His earlier rage at her had seeped away as he'd realized that she was a novice to this game; her personality was too open and honest to deliberately slight him in such a way. He doubted that she would be laughing at anything right now. And, after tossing and turning for half the night, he'd come to the reluctant conclusion that she simply wasn't going to go away from his thoughts, so he had accepted the fact and had tried to understand what she may have been thinking and feeling. Guimel snarled as he quickly yanked on his tennis clothes, barely hearing Kenneth's non-stop monologue: he was clueless. He'd never tried this before, although he'd experienced the gamut of conquests' reactions, from anger to amusement. All of them had dealt with the fact that he would have nothing more to do with them fairly well, but he'd made sure that they had been left contented.
"… and so of course she would have to stay here for the next month! Guimel, are you listening to me?" He jerked his head up, still pulling on one of his shoes. Kenneth was looking at him, one eyebrow raised.
"Hai, hai," he replied and, after a moment, his cousin continued with whatever it was he was prattling on about. Guimel bent down and fitted the shoe on, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. These had to be the silliest kind of boots he'd ever seen: too low cut and soft to be any protection, but Kenneth insisted that they were proper tennis wear and nothing else would do. He silently sighed as he started lacing them up, then stopped, his hands trembling as his mind immediately went back to yesterday morning. Those laces at the back of her bodice; he had torn the fabric in his haste to undress her, that incredible need to be inside her overshadowing all consideration of gentleness. He shivered at the memory of her body: the soft breasts, the sweet curve of her hips. She had felt so good…
"Guimel!" He jerked, his fingers clutching about the laces and pulling the shoe up painfully tight.
"What?" he snarled, loosening up the laces and tying them up properly, then jerking to his feet. Kenneth's frown turned into a smile.
"You seem a bit… preoccupied," his cousin drawled. "But today is your last day to win the Lady Madeious." Guimel felt his cheeks heat up; suddenly very aware at how closely Kenneth was watching him. Kenneth. If he told him that he had conquered her, her reputation was gone, Mustrum made a laughing stock, the Duke's power diminished within the Empire. Guimel didn't give a shit about Mustrum, or the Duke, but it was very, very important to him that Hiroko's reputation stay intact. Why this should be he didn't know, but he'd given up trying to question any of his thoughts about her last night. He smiled lazily, picking up his racket and heading for the door to the court.
"I've decided to heed your good advice, after all," he said as he walked through the door and onto the court, Kenneth at his heels. His cousin raised his eyebrows.
"Indeed? I'm shocked, but, of course, the danger inherent in this one is simply palpable, now that she's affianced," Kenneth replied, heading for the far end of the court. More than you ever dreamed, Guimel thought sourly as he picked up a tennis ball and took up his own place. He knew if he kept his cousin talking, he wouldn't examine too hard his abrupt change in attitude.
"Has that become common knowledge?" Guimel asked, and served the ball. Kenneth grinned and easily returned it, just out of his reach.
"It will be, at tomorrow's party. Quite fitting, seeing as the Duke's younger brother is hosting it." Guimel stifled a groan as he ran to pick up the ball. The party! Fuck, he'd forgotten all about it. He felt a stab of pleasure and anger: he wanted to see her again, but of course he couldn't approach her. What a baka he'd become over her! Kenneth would be rolling on the ground, laughing his head off if he knew what he was thinking right now. Well, fuck it: he wanted to know if she was all right. There had to be a way of talking to her without creating a scene. Guimel smiled as he tossed the ball to his cousin, who caught it and prepared to serve. Speaking with her, despite everything: the challenge was just too appealing. Kenneth served and Guimel jumped forward, backhanding the ball and grinning as it bounced just inside the line, past his startled cousin.