Chpt. 3
Everything with Richard was going so well. Monica has never been in a relationship this serious before but this is what she's always wanted. A man who was mature and truly cared for her. She couldn't help but think about the future. What she wanted more than anything was a marriage with the perfect man, a family, maybe a house in the suburbs. Richard was perfect for all of this. He was so caring and attentive Monica knew he would be the husband she's always dreamed of and he already had kids so she knew he was a great father. Everything just seemed to be falling into place. "Do you ever, uh, like, think about the future?"
"Sure I do," Richard nodded with a knowing smile.
"Yeah? Am I in it?" Monica smiled back.
"Honey, you are in it" he reassured.
"What else?" she smirked.
He wasn't naive. The age gap was obvious and was a continuous issue with them and those around them. They were in completely different stages in their lives and he had a feeling Monica was in the stage where she wanted marriage and kids. But let's be honest he wasn't getting any younger. Maybe if he kept it simple and romantic she wouldn't think about kids. "Well, um, sometimes I think about selling my practice. We could move to France. Make French toast" he said vaguely
"Okay, we're in France and we're making the toast...do you see a little bassinet in the corner?"
"Like a hound?" Richard asked, playing innocent.
"Not a basset. A bassinet" she clarified, smiling nervously.
Richard sighed, sitting back "You really want a bassinet?"
"Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog." Monica grabbed the closest thing near her and started to fold it, getting more nervous that her dream future was going to fall apart in the next few seconds. "Do you not see kids in our future?"
"Oh hey, I love children. I have children" he defended. "I just don't want to be 70 when our kids go off to college and our life can finally start." Richard watched her force a nod with a frown and instantly felt guilty for hurting her in this way. "Look, I want you. Now" he said softly.
"Well that's great" Monica forced a smile. "You know we don't have to talk about this now. Really, this is so far into the future. I'm talking hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet" she chuckled trying to hide how scared she actually felt. It seemed to work when he leaned over and kissed her cheek, which kind of scared her even more.
"I should go and get ready for the wedding tonight" Richard smiled softly, kissing her hands as he stood. "I'll be back soon."
"Okay," she smiled, staying by the couch. "I'll miss you" Monica tilted her head slightly watching him go to the door.
He chuckled softly "I'll miss you too," he said playing along with her as he left the apartment.
It's been four months of watching Richard and Monica's relationship. They were already acting like a married couple and Chandler hated it. What was worse is that hanging out with Richard was actually fun. When they got to be with him without Monica, Chandler actually liked him but seeing them together was almost painful. He was convinced Richard knew about his feelings about Monica but he hasn't said anything. It's more in the slight glare Richard gives when Chandler is with her.
But he shouldn't be focused on them. He was talking to a woman online and she seemed really great so far. They had a lot in common and she couldn't tell how awkward he was behind a screen. He couldn't be thinking about Monica forever. There was no chance for them to be together and no one knew. He just had to move on. While waiting for a response from his mystery online woman he went to the fridge to grab himself a Yoohoo. Chandler grumbled seeing their fridge was practically empty with no Yoohoos inside. He looked at the door contemplating if he should go to Monica's apartment to see if she had any of the chocolate milk. Checking the time on his watch he figured she would've left for the wedding by now so he went over to the apartment. However, when he walked in he saw Monica ready for the wedding but cleaning the apartment from babysitting Ben earlier. "Well hello," he smiled going to the fridge.
"Hey" she mumbled absentmindedly.
"I thought you had a wedding tonight. Or are you dressed like that for me?" he teased.
"Haha," she forced. "Richard went to his apartment to get ready. I'm just waiting for him to get back" she explained.
Chandler nodded slightly as he watched her. He noticed her shoulders seemed more tense than usual. She was biting the side of her lip as she moved around putting things back in their place, pausing to bite her nails. "So, what's wrong?" he asked casually sitting at the table with his drink, temporarily forgetting about his online date.
"What?" Monica looked up at him for the first time since he walked in.
"What's got you so...tense?" he rephrased watching her shift her weight. "You look like you're about to have dinner with your parents which means you're worried about something."
Monica dropped her shoulders "i-it's nothing. I mean really I'm overthinking" she shook her head dismissively forcing a smile again. She sat on the coffee table looking at the place Richard was sitting in before.
"Well I'm pretty good at overthinking too," Chandler said moving to the couch and sitting in front of her. "Maybe I can help you out," he offered. "I can tell whatever it is, it's important enough to make you upset."
Her eyes focused on him. She wasn't exactly pleased that between her boyfriend and Chandler, Chandler was the one who could see how upset she was feeling. Why didn't Richard notice this first? A boyfriend at this phase of a relationship should be able to see when his girlfriend is upset but he didn't, Chandler did. She sighed, feeling defeated. "Richard doesn't want kids" she mumbled, picking at the edge of her dress.
"Oh-" Chandler started before he was abruptly cut off by Monica standing up quickly pacing around the table.
"I mean I'm not saying I want kids right now" she defended. "But that's always been in my future. I want to be a mom so bad. I-I want to get married and have two kids with a man who also wants that stuff you know?"
"Sure-" he began again.
"And Richard is a great guy! He's so good with kids and he's so mature and I think we work really well together. I can't just give up the best relationship of my life. Stuff like this is once in a lifetime. If this ends I'm never going to find a guy like this ever again. But I can't give up my dream of being a mom. That's all I've ever wanted, I picked my kids' names when I was fourteen!" Monica ranted getting frustrated as her argument with herself started to circle.
Chandler put his Yoohoo down on a coaster before standing up and gently taking her shoulders. "Mon, deep breaths please," he said calmly inhaling and exhaling with her. "Can I give you my opinion?" he asked so he wouldn't get interrupted again. And she nodded silently picking at her dress again. Chandler gently took her hand and led her to sit by him on the couch. "Listen, I can understand that this is hard. You were practically born to be a mother Mon. Seriously, you take care of all of us like we're you're...five children, which is a lot. I don't know how you do it every day" he smiled gently, moving her hair out of her face. "You deserve a baby. A guy who wants that too. It's not fair to either of you to have a baby if he doesn't want a baby. Richard is a great guy, but ultimately I think you need to do what's best for you in the long run. Are you going to be happy in twenty years with no baby?"
Monica shook her head slightly "no I guess not" she mumbled quietly.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do because it's not my place, but I know you'll find someone who wants all those things you do. Plus the worst comes to worst we have our deal" he smiled.
She shook her head "you don't want kids."
"I don't want them right now, but that doesn't mean I'll never want kids. I may be the last in the group to get married but I'll have the cutest kid out of all of you" he said confidently.
Monica chucked softly laying her head on his shoulder. "What am I going to do?"
"That's your decision Mon, but whatever it is I'll definitely support you."
"What do you want your future to be?" she asked with a small smile.
"Well, I want to be married to Yasmine Bleeth, I want a house with a room just full of arcade games and a pool in the backyard."
"You're such a teenager" she rolled her eyes.
"My serious answer is... I want to be married to a great woman who I can get along with like a best friend" Chandler looked down at her as he spoke. "Four kids...a house in the suburbs where they can ride their bikes all day."
Monica looked up at him surprised at the sincerity in his tone. This was a side of Chandler she rarely saw. Any talk of the future usually scared him off, but this was new.
"That is if I find a girl crazy enough to marry me" Chandler chuckled at himself.
"Stop it" she lightly hit his chest. "If you just gave the girls you date a chance you might actually get somewhere."
"Oh speaking of, I have a girl waiting for me on the internet" he smiled, getting up and grabbing his Yoohoo. "You're going to be ok right?" he asked.
"Yeah don't worry" she smiled sincerely.
Chandler looked at her for a moment reading her body language "Okay. Okay, good. I'll see you tomorrow" he nodded, leaning over and kissing the top of her head before leaving back to his own apartment.
Monica laid her head on Richard's shoulder as they danced just enjoying being with him. They haven't talked about it again tonight but she could try to ask about it tomorrow. She didn't want to rush into this conversation if it would end badly, but suddenly her thoughts were interrupted.
"Okay, I'll do it."
"You'll do what?" she asked, confused.
"If kids are what it takes to be with you, then kids it is," Richard smiled.
Monica's heart leaped. He changed his mind and now there was hope in her future again. "Oh my God," was all she could say.
"If I have to, I'll do it all again."
"Really?" she smiled up at him.
"Yeah, if I have to. Monica...I don't want to lose you. So if I have to do it all again then I will."
Her heart suddenly dropped as she listened to him. 'Have to?' No. Chandler was right. It wasn't fair to either of them that way. She deserved a guy who wants a baby. Richard made it sound like such a chore. "You're the most wonderful man. If you hadn't said 'if I have to' then I would say 'let's do it.'"
"But you're not…" Richard worried about what was coming next.
Monica looked up trying to stop herself from crying. This is the outcome she was scared of the most. "I can't believe I'm about to say this. I want to have a baby. But I don't want to have it with someone...who doesn't really want to have one. I can't do this."
"Then don't. Don't do this Monica. I want kids. I want you" he insisted.
Monica shook her head moving away from him "please don't make this harder" she begged. "I was talking to Chandler and he made a lot of great points. It's just not fair to you for me to force something so big onto you."
"Chandler told you this? He doesn't know what he's talking about. He knows nothing about commitment. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices-"
"No. This is too big to sacrifice Richard. There would be our kids' lives this would be affecting. I'm not going to put my kids into a position where there's a possibility of their father resenting us later in life because it's not what he wanted. Chandler may be scared of committing but he's right. I deserve someone who really wants these things. He knows I would be a great mother and he supports me…" Monica trailed off.
Richard scoffed in disbelief. "He's just saying those things because it's what you want to hear. Chandler won't be a good father because he's too scared. You can't take advice from him about our relationship because he's never had what we do. We love each other, Monica."
"Not that it matters, but Chandler is a great guy. He's caring, attentive and he actually listens. Sure he makes stupid jokes sometimes and he's scared now but that doesn't mean he'll always be. He's going to find someone great and when he does I know he'll commit to her. And who wouldn't want him? He's attractive and smart, funny, and he knows when I'm upset even if I say I'm not. He has all the qualities most women look for. "
"Including you?" Richard looked down at her, letting go of her waist. Now standing in the middle of the dance floor.
"What? No. He's my best friend. Sorry if I don't take it lightly when my boyfriend talks down to my friends that way. He's Chandler I- I can't believe you'd even insinuate that" Monica walked away from him past the tables and into the entryway of the church away from the wedding guests.
Richard followed her gently, taking her arm "friend or not I know he has feelings for you Mon."
"Don't call me that" Monica pulled her arm away from him. "Chandler doesn't have feelings for me, you're being paranoid. I'm sorry, but this is over. I need...I need a guy who cares about what I want. I want to be a mom and I'm going to be. I need to do what's best for me in the long run. If you loved me you'd understand."
Richard finally just nodded, not having the energy to fight with her. He left the church letting the door slam shut behind him.
"Where is she?" Chandler paced the coffee house. This could be his one shot at a relationship. A chance to get over his feelings for Monica and she was late. "Where is she?" she asked Phoebe again.
"I think you just have to stop watching the door. It's like a watched pot. If you keep looking at it, the door is just never going to boil."
Chandler rolled his eyes slightly, not in the mood for nonsensical phrases. He looked at the door again and froze. Janice stood there looking equally surprised. Suddenly it all made sense to him. Anytime he was desperate for someone Janice was his go-to phone call. Now that he was desperate to get over Monica, the universe sent Janice to him first. He quickly went over to her, capturing her in a kiss. It was all so familiar and comforting that she was always there for him when he needed it the most. He heard his friends groan from behind the couch, he could tell they weren't going to be excited about this but he didn't care. Monica was right. HE needed to give this a chance. Chandler wasn't going to screw it up this time.
AN/ yay chandler has happiness...kinda. Um, this is like my longest chapter. I'm ashamed of how much dialogue from the show is here, but it felt weird writing my own words in moments that happened in canon. I try to avoid it as much as I can though. I know Richard is kinda out of character but I just wanted to have Monica try and think about Chandler in a new way. Thank you for reading and the comments are so lovely I need to find out how to reply but I do read them. Again, sorry if my grammar isn't the best.