"But I only had it for one night, it should be three dollars" Monica insisted, holding out the three dollar bills.
"Sorry. It's 8:02. Six dollars." The clerk of the video rental store was practically smirking at Monica with the power of making her pay double.
Monica groaned, digging through her purse trying to find enough money to pay. When she came up short, she grumbled in frustration and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Okay look, I only have three dollars so you have to help me out here."
"I can help you," Richard offered from behind her and gave the clerk the six dollars.
She turned around slowly, nervous about what she would be faced with when she saw him. Anger? Hurt? Maybe even betrayal. "Richard, hi."
"Hi." Richard tilted his head as he looked her up and down. "You're welcome by the way."
"Oh," she chuckled nervously, looking down at her feet. "Thank you. I have three more dollars in my apartment I can pay you back-"
"How about, you go to dinner with me tomorrow night instead?" Richard asked.
Monica stepped back furrowing her eyebrows. "Um- I'm sorry, what?"
"Nice" the clerk smiled at Richard approvingly.
Both of them glared at the clerk for eavesdropping on their conversation. Richard took Monica's arm and walked near the back of the store near the kids' movies for more privacy. "Listen, I don't like how we ended things. I mean no guy likes hearing his girlfriend talk about their guy friends that way, but I shouldn't have gotten jealous about it. I know Chandler is just a friend. I was being immature and stupid honestly. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know about you, but this past month has been hell for me."
"This month has been pretty hard" she partially lied. "But as I recall, we broke up because I want kids and you don't. You insulting my friends certainly didn't help, but we want different things. I don't think going to dinner is a good idea."
Richard nodded and grabbed her hand. "What if we just went as friends? I mean no expectations or anything just...friends. Catching up."
"Just friends." she clarified, pulling her hand away from his.
He put his hands in his pockets. "Meet me at Le Bernardin on 51st street tomorrow at let's say...6:30?"
"Do you take all your friends to restaurants as nice as that one?"
Richard had a guilty smile as he replied "you're the first I'll admit that. It's just a place I've been needing to try. We can pick somewhere else if you want?"
"No, it's fine. Thanks for helping me earlier, but I should go. I'll see you tomorrow" Monica turned and left the video store leaving Richard behind.
The next afternoon Monica went with Phoebe to look for a new mattress. Hers was getting old and the mattress king was having too good of a sale to pass up. She felt bad being here like she was betraying Chandler somehow. It was his girlfriend's ex-husband's store, but she figured it didn't hurt to just look.
"I like this one" Phoebe pointed at the red racecar bed. "This is so much more fun than the bed you have now" she smiled.
"Yeah I don't think so" Monica laughed softly as she shook her head. She looked at other bed options around the store. Monica laid down on a queen bed with a satisfied sigh. She felt like she was laying on a soft cloud. "Phoebe, come try this one, this is it. This is my new bed!"
Phoebe got up from a bed nearby and walked over to her "I don't know Monica, Chandler is your friend-" Phoebe laid next to her, sinking into the mattress. "Oh! Oh, screw Chandler, you can make new friends."
Monica chuckled softly as she got up. "Would Chandler be upset if I bought this?"
"I don't know. It's more Janice's fight than his. Maybe it won't be a big deal" she shrugged. "Or! You can just tell him it's from a different mattress store. I mean why does he have to know?"
"Good point I guess," She looked at the bed again and decided to get it. She looked around for a worker who could help her. Monica opted to check the office at the back of the store. Before she knocked on the door she looked through the window. Immediately her jaw dropped as she watched, seeing Janice sitting on the desk of the mattress king. Her hands were on the back of his neck as the couple kissed each other passionately. They didn't look like people going through a divorce at all. Half of her wanted to barge in and slap Janice. Monica gripped the door handle, tempted to make a scene. Tempted to call her out and make her feel guilty for doing this to Chandler. The other half of her knew this was delicate. Chandler deserved to know what she was watching. To deal with this in his own way.
"Mon, what's wrong? Oh Woah," Phoebe looked into the window as the couple escalated. He started to kiss Janice's neck as he pulled her body closer and Phoebe physically cringed. "Disgusting. We should tell Chandler about this, right?" Phoebe looked at her friend who just stared in disbelief. "Mon?'' She shook her friend a little to get her attention.
"I can't believe her!" Monica snapped. "Who does she think she is doing this to Chandler! And right as he was ready to commit to her. You know how hard that was for him! She's such a selfish bitch!" Monica ranted as Phoebe physically pulled her away from the door. "What the fuck is her problem?"
"Mon, breath okay? We'll go home and tell Chandler and he can deal with this. It's his relationship and we shouldn't be meddling with something as big as this okay? Chandler is smart and he'll break up with her and we'll help him through it when it comes to that. For now, we need to go" Phoebe continued to pull a reluctant Monica out of the store.
"I just can't believe it...how could she hurt him like this? I thought she loved him! You don't do that to someone you love, Pheebs." Monica walked with her back to the coffee house. "This isn't fair to him."
"Of course it's not. We just have to tell him what we saw and he can tell her off." She walked into the coffee house to only see Joey, Rachel, and Ross. "Hey, where's Chandler?"
"He's upstairs. Said something about planning Janice's birthday coming up" Joey shrugged.
Monica nervously pushed her hair behind her ears. "You guys, we just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband in his office."
"What? "Are you sure?" Joey sat up straighter in his seat.
"Oh yeah, and it looked like they were about to do a lot more if you know what I mean" Phoebe took off her coat and sat on the couch next to Rachel.
Rachel put her magazine down to look at Phoebe, "are you going to tell him?"
"I think Monica should" Phoebe smirked at her. "He'd probably take the news better if it came from her."
Ross furrowed his eyebrows at her, "what is that supposed to mean?"
"Come on Ross, he's always had a soft spot for Monica. Don't act like you haven't noticed it" Rachel started to read her magazine again.
Monica shook her head slightly as she rolled her eyes at the ridiculous implications. She went upstairs and practically barged into apartment 19, thankful the door was unlocked and he was there sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter looking at jewelry brochures.
He looked up at her confused at the sudden break-in. "Yes?"
"I have to tell you something," she said bluntly.
"Um okay…" He closed the magazine, concerned at her urgency. "What's up?"
Monica started pacing back and forth next to him. "Okay, so my mattress is almost nine years old at this point so I thought I would go to the mattress king store because of the sale-"
"Mon," he interrupted. "If you feel bad about going there then don't because it's not a big deal."
She shook her head and laughed softly at the irony. At how she felt bad about looking at mattresses a little over an hour ago, and now she was about to ruin his relationship. "While I was there, I went to the office and I saw through the window...Janice. I saw Janice kissing her ex-husband and Phoebe said it looked like they were about to go a lot further than that and honestly I agree I mean he was standing between her legs-"
"Okay stop" Chandler put his hand up to stop her. "I-I don't understand...you saw Janice, my girlfriend, kissing her ex?"
"Yes," Monica stepped closer cautiously.
Chandler grabbed onto the counter when he felt like he was going to fall over. He pushed his hair back with a loud sigh. "Oh my God…" he mumbled.
"I'm sorry Chandler."
He stood quickly and started pacing around the living room. "I mean she's with me, she wouldn't do this to me. I know her. She told me she loves me so she wouldn't do this. We're supposed to be together. What should I do?"
"Break up with her?" she asked like it was obvious. "She cheated on you, you can't be with someone so dishonest and who hurt you without a second thought."
Chandler shook his head as he walked. "I can't. She's my last chance to have somebody."
"Stop saying that! It's not true, you're a great guy and you deserve better than her. There are women out there who would feel lucky to have you. You can find someone who will treat you better than this"
"Monica." He stopped in front of her. "I think I need to be alone right now and I appreciate you telling me, for being honest. I just need to get my thoughts together, if that's okay" he mumbled.
She nodded in understanding before she wrapped her arms around him tightly. "You're never going to be alone, I promise. Please don't think you will" she mumbled into his chest. "It's not true."
Chandler smiled softly, hugging her back and holding her close. "You're one of my favorite people," he whispered.
"You've said that before."
"And it's still true." He gently ran his fingers through her hair. "It will always be true."
Monica leaned into him more with a small smile. Being in his arms with his fingers in her hair felt like comfort. It was warm and familiar. Safe. She noticed how nice he always smelled, like a mixture of cedarwood and sea salt with a small hint of vanilla. It was probably just a cologne, but to her, it was the scent of Chandler. "It's going to be okay."
"I know." He gently kissed the top of her head before he let her go. "Thank you, Mon." Chandler gently moved his hand down her arm before he gently grabbed her fingers. Everything around him was crumbling, but Monica was his rock.
She looked up at him, tempted to ask for more than just a kiss on the forehead. Monica shook her head at her thoughts. Was it selfish to want him after his girlfriend just cheated on him? Probably. "I guess I should go and give you your space, but my door is always open, Chandler."
Chandler just nodded absentmindedly as he sat in his Barco lounger unsure what to do next.
Monica sat across the table from Richard at an elegant restaurant on 51st street. The decor was simple and modern, not really to Monica's taste, but it was certainly better than the Moondance diner. She nursed her pinot noir as Richard told a rather boring story about playing golf at his new country club he found outside of the city. Adding golf to a list she mentally started about why they would never work. Golf was always boring. They already finished dinner, and she just wanted to go home.
"Are you really on a date with Richard?" Chandler's voice came to Monica's attention and she looked up to see him behind Richard. But he wasn't there, Monica knew he was talking to Janice right now, he wasn't there, was he?
"This isn't a date," she replied to Chandler. "Just friends, having dinner."
He walked around the older man to the other side of him as he looked around the restaurant. "A nice place like this? It seems like a date."
"Would it be bad if it was? I mean there are pros to dating him. He's not a bad guy and he offers security."
Chandler knelt next to the table and smiled at her like he knew something that she didn't. "Do you think you can listen to golf stories the rest of your life?" He tilted his head as he watched her. "I know you're considering giving this another shot, do you think that you can give up having kids for him?"
"No. I don't think I can, but it just seems so safe…"
"Monica?" She looked to where Chandler was, but he was gone.
"Monica, are you ready?" Richard asked, looking at her confused. "Are you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost" he chuckled.
"I can't believe you! I mean are you fucking serious?" Chandler shouted in pure frustration.
Janice calmly put her hands on his chest. "Chandler, sweetie please just take a breath and calm down"
"You go out and fuck your ex-husband and you want me to calm down?" He asked in disbelief.
She rolled her eyes exasperated as she walked across the living room to put distance between them. "I don't know what you want from me. He's the father of my child. You can't expect me to abandon my family!"
"Bullshit Janice. I never wanted to break up your family. I even encourage you to go see your kid. Don't make me the bad guy here when I did nothing but support you. I thought you chose me over him."
"I did! I still do Chandler, I love you" she said softly. "He means nothing to me, I swear. I went to his office to get the last papers signed and that's it."
"That's crap and you know it. Monica saw you. Phoebe saw you. You don't get to say that you love me after you go behind my back to get fucked. If you want to be with him then just leave because I'm not going to just sit around here and wait for you to come back from your husband's office."
"I'm staying with you. I picked you because I love you, why can't you just forget about this whole thing?"
Chandler looked at her confused before turning away from her. He took a deep breath as he tried to control how frustrated and hurt he was feeling. "How can you say that?" he mumbled. "You just want me to forget that you cheated on me?" Chandler turned to face her as he asked, "how far did you two go?"
Janice stayed quiet for a moment as she watched him, scared to answer his question. She felt her heart beating in her ears as she struggled to find the words without hurting him more.
"Just say it, I already know the answer."
Tears filled her eyes as she shook her head, "Chandler that's not fair."
"You want to talk to me about fair? You want me to forget it happened when you can't even say it." he crossed his arms and watched her.
Monica and Richard walked down the streets of New York together in a comfortable silence as they looked at the city lights. Ultimately it was Richard who broke the silence first. "How are your friends?"
"They're good. Ross and Rachel are good. Phoebe is good, Joey is good…" she trailed off.
"And Chandler?" Richard asked.
Monica sighed, unsure if she should tell him what happened today, but figured there was no harm in it. "He got back together with Janice about a month ago and today I caught her with her ex-husband...so I think they're breaking up right now actually."
"That's hard," he said simply. "Ross and Rachel are still together?"
"Yeah. Honestly, it's a little strange, my best friend is dating my brother" she chuckled. "But they seem happy. Rachel actually quit her job recently and got a job in fashion like she's always wanted."
He nodded as he listened, "That's good. Good for her."
"I don't think he cares," Chandler whispered in her ear, making her flinch a little.
"God, what are you?" Monica sighed.
"Okay, ouch." Chandler smiled at his own joke, "don't you know? I guess you can think of me as an internal monologue. You can't stop thinking about me, so here I am. Anyway, I don't think he cares about us. I mean he spent all of dinner talking about himself? I'm not good with women, but I know not to do that" he scoffed.
"You're better with women than you think you are. I've watched the past four weeks of you practically doing anything Janice wanted you to do. You took care of her, helped her through her divorce, and I have no references, but you just look like a great kisser."
Chandler smirked slightly, "you've watched me kiss my girlfriend? Why?"
"If you're in my thoughts, then you know why," she pointed out.
"How many times?" Chandler asked as he watched Janice cry. He hated seeing her cry, but he didn't feel guilty. He wanted to know the truth about it all no matter how much it hurt.
"I don't know…" she admitted. "I think six or seven times. But it's in the past."
"In the past? Monica saw you with him this afternoon. That was like six hours ago I can't believe-" Chandler took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. "Why?" he asked with his voice breaking. He opened his eyes again when she didn't reply. "You fucked this guy almost twice a week during our relationship and I just want to know why. Was it just because I'm not good enough for you or was I not available enough for you or"
"God Chandler no! No, it wasn't any of that. It's just, I guess I never got over him. We had a big fight and it ended in a suggested divorce and I walked away and then I started talking to you again and it was great. I want you."
"So you were just using me as you waited for your husband to take you back?"
Janice looked at him with guilt before she shook her head at him. "Don't pretend you weren't using me to get over your crush on Monica. I know you love her. You never looked at me the way you do her. You smile every time you hear her name and you talk about her like she's some angel from heaven. You can't make me feel guilty when you were doing the same thing!"
"It's not the same! Yes, I love her and I'm sorry, but she doesn't love me. I accepted that and I'm moving on with my life. I can't just sit in my room and wait around for something that's never going to happen. You went into this relationship because what? You needed support for a fight with your husband? You were waiting for him. All my attention went into us. You were sleeping with him on the side. So no, it's not the same. Genuinely I'm sorry if my feelings for Monica got in the way, but don't sit there and put this on me."
"I love you Chandler," she said softly.
"Stop saying that!" he yelled, causing her to jump a little. "Don't say that" he said softer. "If you loved me, you wouldn't have gone behind my back. Even if you just respected me, you would be honest. You could've told me that you wanted to go back to him. You could've told me that you weren't ready for a relationship. Maybe I should've known, but I thought you wanted this to work. I'm just confused about where we went wrong."
Janice walked over to him and gently held his face in her hands. "Sweetie, what I did was wrong and I'm sorry for hurting you," she said whispered as she gently stroked his cheek. "You're right, I should've told you the truth. That I wasn't ready. I should've said something, you just swept me off my feet like you always do." Janice moved her hands to his neck, playing with the back of his hair. "As someone who was in your position, your feelings for Monica, they're not going away. You can date whoever you want to, but you can't hide your feelings forever. And I'm not upset that you feel this way, I just wish we could've made this work."
Chandler shook his head slightly as he listened to her. "I don't want Monica. This isn't about her, this is about us. I want you and I want you to want me...just tell me is it me or him?"
Monica and Richard arrived outside of her building and he started walking up the steps with her. "You know you don't have to walk me to my door right? It's sweet, but this is entering date territory."
"I'm just being a gentleman. You don't have feelings for me do you?" Richard asked teasingly.
She shook her head and looked up at him, but saw Chandler, he was clouding her thoughts again. It was impossible to get him off her mind. She wanted to be with him, not Richard. She wished Chandler took her to dinner instead. It wasn't fair to Richard to think this way. To wish he wasn't here, but she couldn't help it and she didn't know why.
"You have feelings for me" Chandler answered her question.
Monica shook her head slightly "No, it's just a small crush. It'll pass."
"I know every dirty thought you've had about me. I know every time you've touched yourself thinking of me. Plus you're on a date with Richard and you're only thinking about me."
"Oh please, I've never touched myself-" Monica started before Chandler gently grabbed her arm and stepped closer to her. He was barely an inch away from her lips and she was desperate to close the gap.
"Don't lie to me," Chandler whispered. "This is in your head. You know what you want Monica. It's us. Don't fight this" he mumbled before the gap between them closed. Monica was quick to kiss him back. He was right. She wanted this so badly, craved him even, but this kiss was awful. It didn't feel right, something was off. Richard. She wasn't with Chandler, she was with Richard. Monica gently pushed him away, breaking the kiss. "I'm so sorry, I can't do this."
"Why not? We had a great time tonight and you just kissed me back. Give me one good reason why we can't give this another shot?" Richard asked, pulling her closer again.
Monica shook her head as she stepped back to keep her distance. "I just can't."
"Why not?" he insisted, leaning in to kiss her again.
"Because I have feelings for Chandler" she blurted quickly. It was the first time she's said that out loud. On one hand, she felt relieved that she finally accepted it herself, but on the other, she felt overwhelmed. It came crashing on her like a wave. The past month suddenly made sense and all her denial seemed ridiculous. "I'm so sorry I-"
Richard put his hand up to stop her as he stepped back and with a small laugh, he shook his head. "See, I knew it and you called me crazy. I'm assuming after he breaks up with Janice, you're going to go after him?"
Monica rolled her eyes "I didn't have feelings for him when we were going out. This is so...new and I've never even said it out loud until now. I'm sorry, I really am, but you said this wasn't a date so I don't know why you thought it was okay to kiss me. And not that it's any of your business, but I'm not going after anyone because he doesn't feel that way about me."
Richard scoffed, "it's kind of adorable how naive you are."
"Fuck off Richard, I really don't need this right now."
He put his hands up in defeat and shrugged. "Thanks for dinner," he said simply before leaving her alone outside apartment 20. She watched him walk down the steps before her neighbor's door swung open. Monica jumped at the noise and saw Janice run out of the apartment. She looked into the apartment and watched Chandler.
He grabbed a picture of Janice he had in the living room and threw it at the wall making the frame shatter. "Fuck" Chandler grumbled. He turned and stopped when he saw Monica standing there. "Hi…" he said, suddenly feeling awkward.
"Hey, you okay?"
"Oh, I'm doing so great. This is truly the best day of my life" he said sarcastically.
"Right, why don't you come over." Monica walked over to him and took his hand pulling him into the hall before she shut his door. "And we can talk about it."
"Do I have a choice?" he asked, following her into the purple apartment anyway and seeing the rest of his friends staring at him.
"No, you don't," Monica said bluntly, grabbing her good ice cream from the freezer and handing him a spoon. "Let your feelings out."
The other four glanced at each other before silently agreeing to let Joey speak first. "We heard you yelling earlier…"
Chandler sat at the kitchen table as he started eating the ice cream from the carton "Sorry. I didn't think I was being that loud. I was just mad."
"No, you don't have to apologize, honey, we're just worried about you" Rachel walked over to sit in the chair next to him and across from Monica. "Pheebs told us that she saw Janice with her husband...did you guys break up?"
He nodded "yup. She slept with him six or seven times when we were together" he paused as his friends gasped. Chandler told them the whole story and everything that happened. Everything that was said between them, besides the things about Monica. That part wasn't important enough to tell everyone and create more questions. Eventually, he reached the end, when all of the ice cream was gone. All six of them were crowded around the table with spoons, listening to Chandler intently. "So ultimately I just said me or him...and she picked him. After that she just kept apologizing and I got fed up with her and I told her to get out and she left."
Rachel got up first and wrapped her arms around Chandler from behind. Monica grabbed his hand and held it gently rubbing the back of his hand with her thumb.
"It's going to be okay Chandler." Phoebe offered comfort gently rubbing his arm. "She doesn't know what she's missing out on."
Chandler looked down at the tub of ice cream as tears filled his eyes for the first time since this whole thing started. "I hate this. Am I a bad guy? I mean did I do something wrong?" All five of them looked around at each other before erupting into a chorus of No's and Of course not. He shook his head with a small smile, he appreciated his friends.
"You are not a bad guy. You did so much for her and she's the one that cheated, she's the bad one here not you. Seriously Chandler, that's not your fault" Joey tried to comfort him.
"Thank you, Joe," he said sincerely.
Ross patted him on the shoulder "you're going to find someone better than her don't worry."
"Yeah, I least I didn't marry her" Chandler glanced at Ross as the rest of his friends laughed at his joke. It was always nice to make his friends laugh, it made him feel better no matter what happens on his bad days.
Monica stood from her chair looking at the group like an expectant mother, "I think that it's time for bed," she said, checking her watch. It was only nine, but she wanted to talk to Chandler alone. Her friends could tell what she was thinking, so they all dispersed and went home, besides Rachel who went to her room after kissing Chandler's cheek and wishing him and Monica good night.
"So, are you going to tell me why you're dressed so nice tonight?" Chandler asked, throwing away the empty ice cream carton. He started washing all of the spoons in the sink like he knew Monica would want.
"Richard invited me to dinner." Monica watched him from the living room. "You don't have to do that."
"How was your date?" Chandler ignored her last comment and continued washing the dishes for her.
She shook her head and laid on the couch. "It wasn't a date. It was just dinner as friends, but I think he wanted more."
He furrowed his eyebrows as images of the worst-case scenarios flashed through his mind. Did he touch her? Did he say something inappropriate? What happened between them tonight? "Am I allowed to ask what that means or is that crossing a line?" he asked, drying off the spoons before putting them away.
Monica sighed looking up at the ceiling "he kissed me. I kissed him back and it was a mistake."
Chandler wiped down the table before going to the couch. He gently tapped her legs so she'd move and he sat down. She moved her legs back resting them on top of his thighs. "You kissed, but it wasn't a date?" he asked as he took off her shoes.
"It wasn't," she confirmed as she watched him. "Like I said, it was a mistake. My mind was kind of somewhere else" Monica hummed as Chandler started to massage her feet. She wondered how obvious it was that the heels she wore were hurting. How does he know her this well? "I'm over him. And he spent the whole night talking about his golf buddies. It was just awful."
"Golf is boring. It sounds like we both had a bad night huh?"
"You more than me," she mumbled, "I don't understand how she could do that to you."
He looked down at her gently massaging her without really thinking about it. "It's inevitable. You know my love life is just never going to work out" he chuckled. "Besides, Joey is going to want to take me to a strip club soon. I already know it" he smiled.
"I never understood the point of going to those things. I mean do you think women are only good for that stuff?" Monica asked softly.
He chuckled nervously, "uh...This seems like dangerous territory."
She kicked him lightly with a slight scoff, "just tell me. You can be honest."
Chandler shook his head. "No? Obviously not. I mean, I say obviously but I know some assholes so it's not obvious to everyone. But no I don't think that" he rambled.
"Then why do you like them?"
"Well, the woman's body is like art-" he started to joke.
Monica sat up quickly and cut him off, putting a hand over his mouth as she smiled. "Stop. That already sounds like the cheesiest thing you could say. It's superficial."
He chuckled softly, gently grabbing her wrist to lower her hand. "It's superficial, but it's true."
"You're such a guy," she mumbled, laying back down.
"As opposed to?"
She chuckled, taking one of his hands. "You know what I mean. I'm not judging, I was just curious."
"Can I ask more about your date with Richard?"
"It wasn't a date, but sure." Monica moved so she was sitting up, laying against his chest. "To get the obvious out of the way, I pushed him away after the kiss."
Chandler started playing with her hair, "Why don't you want to get back together with him? I know he's the dream hunk every woman dreams of. "
"Shut up" she chuckled. "He's just a James Bond type. The handsome guy that gets women, but there's no substance. No real personality there. While we were together it was nice I won't lie. I thought about getting back together with him during dinner, but I remembered why we won't work. We just want different things, you know?"
"Yeah, you want two kids. Daniel and Emma, right?
"You remembered that? I think I told you that like five years ago" she mumbled.
He sunk into the couch a little "I'm sorry it's weird that I remembered."
"No." Monica quickly looked up at him. "No, it's sweet. It means you actually listen to me" she laid down against his chest again and wrapped her arms around his middle.
"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he asked, putting his arms around her shoulders. "I love listening to you."
She smiled, cuddling into him more. "You're a good guy, Janice is stupid," she mumbled.
"Or she's really smart."
Monica sighed, shaking her head slightly. "No Chandler." She sat up and moved closer to him, practically sitting in his lap. "She shouldn't have gotten into this relationship knowing she has feelings for someone else. She's an idiot."
Chandler looked down at his lap nervously. "Unless she believed it wouldn't work out and she was just trying to move on…"
"She shouldn't have used you like that. She can't just replace her feelings for her husband for yours, that's not how it works."
"What if she believed that her husband doesn't love her? That she didn't have a shot with him anymore because she's too pitiful. Maybe she believes that she's undeserving of love and she knows that no one will ever love her."
She stared at him for a few silent moments as she tried to figure out what he was saying because that sounded nothing like Janice. It sounded like he was describing himself, but he couldn't be talking about being in love with Janice. So who was he talking about? Did he love someone? Monica tilted her head slightly and he was now looking at her like he was nervous. "Chandler, who are you walking about?"
"I think I should get to bed. It's late" he got up and started walking to the door.
Monica quickly followed him "wait, do you love someone?"
He turned to face her as he held onto the doorknob, "I really have to go."
"I'm taking that as a yes," she crossed her arms. "You left that out of your story, did she know?"
"Yes she knew, she said it wasn't an issue since I don't plan on making any moves anytime...ever. and I left it out on purpose because I can't deal with questions. Nothing will ever come from these feelings because I know she doesn't feel the same way about me so it's just something I have to get over."
Monica rolled her eyes and scoffed. "She probably thought it was okay to sleep with her husband since you have feelings for someone else. How are you so sure that it won't work out with this woman?"
"You're right, I deserved it" he mumbled. "And I know because…" He closed his eyes debating if he should tell her the truth or just lie his way out of this. He decided to go with both. "Because I'm pathetic and she knows it. She knows me better than anyone and she knows that I'm not worthy of any sort of real relationship." It wasn't a lie, he just didn't give the full truth. Looking her in the eyes right now was the hardest thing he's had to do today, which was saying something considering. "She doesn't love me."
Monica stood there unsure of what to say or what to do. Why was she feeling jealous? Chandler's not hers, he's allowed to love other people. But to say that this mystery woman knows him better than anyone? She knew him better than anyone so who was this random person she's never heard of that supposedly knows him better than her? "If she knows you so well then she should know how great you are," Monica said softly.
Chandler tilted his head slightly looking at her, noticing that she was crying. He stepped forward and gently wiped the tear off her cheek with his thumb. "Why are you crying?" he whispered.
"I don't like listening to you talk down on yourself so much." She leaned on him as more tears rolled down. "Nothing you said is true, you're not pathetic or unworthy. If she can't see how amazing you are then she doesn't deserve you. Why do you date women who don't appreciate you?"
He wrapped his arms around her gently holding her close to him. "I don't know how to answer that" he chuckled awkwardly. "Monica, I'm sorry for upsetting you."
"I just don't want you to hate yourself. It worries me." Monica looked up at him and grabbed the sides of his face and looked at him in the eyes. "You're such a sweet guy" she gently stroking his cheek with her thumb. "And you're so handsome, and smart, and caring" Monica mumbled leaning in closer. Her eyes scanned his face before she closed the gap, pressing their lips together. When she kissed him it felt like everything was falling into place. She was surprised when she felt him kissing her back. At first, the kiss was fast and urgent, they've both been waiting for this. Chandler grabbed the back of her head as he deepened the kiss, pressing her against the back of the couch. Monica moaned from the back of her throat as the kiss slowed, filled with passion and need.
Monica and Chandler reluctantly pulled away from each other when the click of Rachel's bedroom door opening echoed throughout the room. Monica grabbed the back of the couch to keep herself upright as her knees went weak. "Oh hey Chandler" Rachel smiled going to the kitchen to get a glass of water.
"Hey Rach" he smiled awkwardly. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Monica. Her hair was a little messed up in the back and her lips were swollen, her cheeks pink and she never looked so gorgeous. "I should go, it's late. Thanks for having me over" he said quickly as he left the apartment.
"Is he okay?" Rachel looked at Monica.
"Oh yeah, he's fine. I mean his self-esteem has never been lower, but he's never been a confident guy."
Rachel shrugged as she grabbed a water bottle. "He's a good guy, just a bit awkward and weird. He'll be okay." She waved dismissively. "Anyway, I'm going to bed. Goodnight Mon."
"Night Rach" Monica said looking at her apartment door. She went to her room thinking about that kiss. That magical kiss was better than anything she ever imagined. She only wondered what would happen in the morning, Where did they go from here?
AN/Hi, reviews are always appreciated :). This chapter is kind of intense so I hope I did okay lol